Getting my confidence back

[Daphnelia]

Any suggestions?

 

[Hullabaloo]

Can you give us a bit more info? Hard to help if we don't know a bit more

 

[JoBo]

In what sense of the word?

If you mean general riding what about some lessons on a schoolmaster?

 

[lilpinkso]

confidence riding? handling? or generally in life?

 

[Daphnelia]

Sorry, riding my own horse. He is a gem, does nothing wrong, but riding him terrifies me. He's bronced and reared in the past when he had a bad back, he had me off twice, and since then me confidence seems determined to stay firmly out of reach. He's very forward going, a little spooky, a little nervous, but pretty much faultless, I just cant trust him, I'm so frightened he could bronc again, or tank off (not that he ever has

) and I know its totally irrational. Just desperate for any suggestions, books, methods etc.
Thanks

 

[LEC]

Can recommend this lady - do not understand how it works but it has been extremely successful for me. It breaks the irrational fear that you have so that you are able to move on. For me last year I had 2 really nasty falls and I do not fall off! and they really dented my confidence in my horse and my riding. Spoke to Jo and this year I am jumping 3'9 without any worries.

http://www.jocooper.com/equestrian.html

 

[Mrs_Wishkabibble]

I had exactly the same scenario. My one broncked and then stood on me for good measure and put me out of action for a while. I went to hell and back argueing with myself that I was being silly and that he probably would never do it again but he knew I was nervous and would take the pee at any opportunity. I kept him over a year after and I would dread getting on him, would find any excuse not to ride and generally would be pleased with myself and him if we managed to go around the menage for 20 mins without him either shying or bolting or bucking. In the end I sold him, I was honest about him and the bloke that came to try him got on, he started to take the pee and he leathered him, never put a foot wrong with him after that. Anyway, he bought him.
Best thing I ever did.
I then found an absolute gem of a horse that restored my confidence, had her a year nearly now, I am back jumping and doing all the normal things I did before, competing (and winning) again, never need make an excuse not to ride and in fact hubby has now taken it up so we are looking for another gem to buy now for him.
Don't put yourself through agony, riding is supposed to be a pleasure and when it gets to be anything else then change it.
Your confidence will return but only when you find the right horse.

 

[Daphnelia]

Thanks

I really don't want to sell him, this is all my fault not his. He's not badly behaved, just a horse, so sometimes he spooks, or shoots off. He was a nervous wreck when his back was bad, took us a few months to work out what was wrong. I couldnt put my leg on him or he'd rear, shortening my reins was cue to shoot off, and if I touched him anywhere when I was on him he went into meltdown. It was so horrible. And now he's back to the lovely boy he was when I bought him, but I can't enjoy him as I should

Damn my stupid nerves

 

[Daphnelia]

Thanks that looks very interesting, might be something to save up for if all else fails. Im a poor student so might be a good birthday present

 

[Mrs_Wishkabibble]

I was the same, I did not want to sell but I decided it wasnt fair on the horse either. Surely if you are a nervous wreck, then he will be too, if not now then eventually. Some partnerships are not meant to be. Once the trust has gone, I find it doesn't return easily.
I know exactly how you feel, mine was lovely to handle, was an absolute poppet in every other way, thats why I kept him for so long but in the end I should have just sold him straight away, he was happier, he was back out having fun, I was happier as I was back to enjoying my riding. Should have done it straight away instead of feeling guilty.
Hope you get sorted soon.

 

[mavandkaz]

I am going through exactly the same thing, horse has bucked me off twice, second time hurt my back. i often find myself trying to find excuses not too ride but always make myself at least attempt it. he also had a bad back which is now sorted. my specific problem is getting on as this is when he normally turns crazy (i posted about it a few weeks ago, think you replied) my problem is i'm fine if someone is there and holds him as i get on but if i am by myself i panic.
something i have found really helpful though is i had one of Kelly Marks' Recommended Associates come down and do a session. she was brilliant! she gave me lots of homework to do, mainly groundwork but has helped us build up a relationship and trust.

 

[Bess]

You can't help your 'nerves' its just your brain trying to protect you as you have had a bad experience when your horse had a bad back. What about thinking more about where you do feel confident, maybe out hacking or maybe riding in the school with other people about?

Try and think about where you do feel ok and build from that.

 

[LEC]

My session over the phone cost about £40 so not too bad but I can tell you it has lasted and the next day after having it faced my fears!

 

[Daphnelia]

Thats not bad at all, I think it said £145 on her site which is a little expensive for me! If it was only £45 I would definately give it a go!

 

[cobden99]

I think it can be flexible depending on your circumstances. Ive spoken to her, she is a nice lady.

 

[jumpthemoon]

I had exactly the same scenario as hollyf and selling the horse/buying a new one was the best thing I ever did as well!

If you really want to try with the horse though, taking your time and not rushing yourself is the most improtant thing in my book

Good luck!