Getting my mojo back?

[JulesRules]

Ive not posted on here in a very long time....

A combination of the bad winter and having a cow bag mare have led to me losing my riding mojo.

This morning I have contacted a local natural horesmanship trainer in a last ditch attempt to sort out me and my horse and get my mojo back again.

Any advice or suggestions very welcome. Now settle in with tea and Jaffa cakes....this could be long!

Potted history - bought my mare cheaply as a project 7 years ago. She was a fat green 7 year old.

The first two years went quite well. We got the weight off, hacked a lot. Trotted for the best part of a year and then started working on canter. We did some in hand showing, walk and trot dressage, popped a few poles and went to the novice jumping ring at the local riding club, pleasure rides etc...I realised she was clever, lazy and stubborn but we were progressing.

Then she went lame. Box rest, work ups, scans etc and it was traced to her left hind hock. Due to her weight gain (she couldn't be worked due to the lameness) she was a high laminitis risk and so couldn't have steroid injections until winter came and she dropped weight and so she was out for around a year.

Just after this I changed job which necessitated a yard move. Neither of us settled and another year passed without much progress.

I moved yards again. Got a good sharer who got her working nicely in the school. Bought a lorry ( I'd sold my trailer when she was lame). Started taking her out to intro dressage again, all was okay.

Then she reared with me. This was the first and last time she reared with me. She was being a bit spooky in the school and then a bird made a funny noise in the hedge and she just planted. I think she may have been coming into season which makes her more spooky and she refused to move. A battle of wills ensued (We are both very stubborn) and in the end she went up rather than forwards and I fell off and she nearly landed on me. I got straight back on but only for a few minutes as I really hurt my arm.

After that I really just lost my nerve. Whenever she played up I struggled to push her through it and she knew she was getting the better of me and took advantage. My instructor who has a velcro bum wasnt very sympathic and just told me to push her on but my confidence was shot and I eventually stopped having lessons.

Last summer we barely did anything. A couple of fun rides and I boxed out to hack with friends off road a couple of time as neither of us are great in traffic ( I was on yards with off road hacking for 10 years and we just aren't used to it)

I was looking for a sharer but every time someone came to try her she was just a cowbag and nobody was interested. A friend of a fellow livery came a few times in the Autumn and up to Christmas but was a bit novicey and fell off a few times. Cowbag even had herr old sharer off when he popped up to see her.

At this point I just decided to give us both a break. I was worried that there was more wrong than her just being her normal cowbag self, and I wasn't enjoying sitting on her at all.

So she has had 4 months off. She has had a new( to her) saddle fitted to her. She has had her teeth done and my McTimoney practioner has given her a good going over (twice).

I've lunged her a few times in the past week or so and last weekend I got on and walked her round the school a few times (she was good)

I really want to enjoy her, but at the moment I just don't. I can't sell her as she is the type to just get passed around, and I can't just turn her away as she would get laminitis in about a week. I don't have the time or money for two, despite my daydreams about a small chunky bombproof cob gelding that I can hack out on the buckle.

I'm left with two choices. I get help and get us sorted or I get her put to sleep.

I'm not anywhere near ready for option 2 yet, which only leaves getting help and getting on with it.

Obviously getting some sympathetic professional help is my first step.

Anyone got any thoughts /ideas/suggestions? WWYD?

Well done for getting this far......

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

This is me too - when I lost my MOAL and her son was retired, I lost my mojo too, after I broke my humerus and my mare fell on the road and fractured my shoulder. I doubt myself all the time, and it is not me and would jump anything but now I get butterflies.

Your instructor is not helping the situation, and needs to be more sympathetic to your nerves, jeeze i have had enough nervous riders in my time. I would find someone to ride her more for you and school her for you, that is what I am doing, and she has come on leaps and bounds. What about a sharer, but confident one to also help with exercise.


Sounds like you need help on her as well as off her.

With the spooking like my queen of spooks I suggest a calmer cool calm and collected as it is calcium based and really turned my mare around.

 

[JulesRules]

It's so hard isnt it? On the ground I'm all fired up going " I'm going to do x, y, z" then I get on and tense up and all the good intentions go out the window. I have tried lots of things like singing my favourite chill out tune, yoga breathing etc but really I'm just waiting for her to start spoiling and being stupid and wondering when I can get off😕

Don't worry. I binned the unsympathetic instructor a while back as we weren't making progress. I'm looking at trying someone with a totally different approach so we shall see!

Good point about the calmer. She is on a calming chaff with msgnesoum, camomile, lemon balm etc but I guess there is no harm in trying something different.

 

[galacticstorm]

Your mare sounds like a right character! It's hard to tell without seeing her but I think its probably not a pain related issue just her being smart. What things is she doing when she plays up? Bucking, spooking, napping? As you said she only reared once which is definitely a positive as a rearing problem would be very difficult to overcome. How much time does she spend in the pasture/stabled? And are you possibly feeding her too much which is causing the laminitis? Being overweight is mostly that the amount you consume is much more than how much your body uses in its everyday running and exercise doesn't really make a dent in the numbers although it definitely helps.

You were definitely, definitely right in dropping your old instructor as you need your confidence back. Have you consider being a short term sharer for a 'small chunky bombproof cob gelding'? That would almost definitely help and so would going for lessons. If you're prepared to get your confidence back on your mare though getting a professional or some very experienced to work with her would obviously make things easier.

I do have to ask you though could your mare be bored? You say she is clever and lazy and I know that my clever and lazy ponies will give me a bit of sass if they're bored and could be eating. You could hack out with her so she's interested with a change of scenery but don't just sit there. Make sure you're position is looking good and throw in some transitions, maybe get a little contact going, ask her to slow her gait, quicken it, lengthen and shorten it, some bending on the corners and it's always fun to jump a few branches/logs. Well fun depending on how confident you're feeling!

The last thing I would have to say to help get you started is to spend some time with her. You could just groom and scratch her for half an hour. You could clicker train her and teach her to target or to bow or even lay down on cue. This gives you some time to bond and there's also lots of positives for your mare like a good scratch or if she is bored then food and something new to learn. There's also positives for you like pressure free time with your cutie and potentially more trust in her. And remember summer is coming! I hope this helped and I would love to hear how you two get on!

 

[Quigleyandme]

I have lost my nerve a few times in the past and an unempathetic instructor that you have reached out to for help can set you back quite a bit emotionally. If your mare is bored perhaps some polework on the ground would be useful without challenging your mojo too much? I have done this with good effect. Asking to back up in an L shape without putting a foot over the poles and riding down a skinny ally in trot then canter and varying the steps between poles set at compass points and a myriad other things. Please let us know how you get on.

 

[wkiwi]

I may be shot down for this, but get another horse that you can enjoy riding.
Neither you or your horse are happy with the current situation, and if you can't find a loan home that does enjoy her then euthanasia is a valid option.
Have seen too many people not enjoy riding their horses and you have tried to find solutions for a long time. Once you have lost your nerve on a particular horse it is virtually impossible to get it back again, and no matter how much you do on the ground it does not mean you will ride her with confidence when you get on again - I have reschooled horses for people in the past and even if you get someone else to get your horse going, the same dynamics can recur when the original rider and horse are put together again.
Admitting you are not a match is not a failure, it is just reality. Different horses suit different people (e.g. my friend and I ride completely different types though both are Warmbloods).

Find a horse that makes your heart sing and your spirits lift when you go for a ride. It's SUPPOSED TO BE FUN !!!!

 

[JulesRules]

Hi all,

Thanks for all the replies.

I haven't totally ruled out euthanasia at some point. I'm just not there yet. I feel like I need to use up all my options before I get to that point.

On the topic of laminitis - no I'm not feeding my horse too much. I'm simply making the point that she lives on fresh air and needs to be worked during spring and summer in order to keep the weight off. Even on restricted grazing she gets fat if she cannot be worked and she is a high laminitis risk.

I contacted the trainer I had in mind on Friday. He responded briefly to my first message but has ignored subsequent messages so far. Looks like I need a plan B!

 

[JulesRules]

I'm off on my holibobs in a few days.

I have the opportunity to go horse riding in the Colca Canyon whilst I'm in Peru, so I might look into that. It would be nice to spend some fun time on a horse.

I might also look into getting some lessons on another horse or at the local riding school so that I can feel confident in my own riding again.

Thanks for the suggestions.

 

[wkiwi]

I have the opportunity to go horse riding in the Colca Canyon whilst I'm in Peru,
.

Fantastic idea - very jealous !!!!!!!

 

[ycbm]

Has this mare had her neck and back x rayed or been put through a scintigraph scan?

She sounds like she's in pain to me but the reason hasn't been found yet.

The obvious would be bilateral lameness in the hocks, of course. Steroid injections usually wear off. Has the vet looked at the hocks recently?

 

[Cortez]

Why, exactly, is it that you feel you cannot sell this horse?

 

[ycbm]

Aside from sending it to a cattle market, how can she sell a horse that even potential loaners don't want to take on because of its behaviour?

Wouldn't it be irresponsible to pass it on without sorting her problems first? She sounds like the kind of animal that ends up passed from pillar to post until someone finally decides to shoot it.

 

[MotherOfChickens]

having had a horse go over on me in my youth, I sympathise-to me its a whole other ballgame to the usual falls. I don't have advice about your mare (except to maybe put an endpoint to what you try for your sake-whatever that endpoint is) but I do know something that could help with your riding confidence.
I strongly advise you to contact the website below. I have used it for riding confidence (mounting issues stemming from the incident I mentioned), grief and public speaking (and nailing the latter has got me a promotion and a pay rise lol). Jo is a lovely lady and worth an initial email/call.

http://www.equestrianconfidence.com/tft.html

 

[DabDab]

Are you still in Warwickshire OP? Just thinking that someone could probably suggest a suitable sympathetic trainer...

I've been tipped off the back/landed on a fair few times as a result of rearing, and I agree with MOC, it is definitely a different category of fall. I was young and stupid so it didn't really affect me, but I think it would knock me for six if it happened these days

 

[Theocat]

I feel for you.

I'd put a clear plan in place, and a time limit by which you want to have seen or felt a change. In your shoes, I'd throw a bit of money at It, if you can - a lesson a week on her, one on another horse, get her schooled once a week, and make another session or two a week something that keeps you busy but is scalable if you feel nervous- polework, or some Trec. Have a plan for every time you get on, even if it's just X number of transitions and get off again. Review it after six weeks - not that you need to start off thinking you'll put her down if she isn't miraculously transformed, but it's easier to move forward and stick to a plan if you have a goal, even if that goal is just a review.

What's your current yard like? I get the impression you might not be happy there - a move might be a good idea.

 

[MotherOfChickens]

I was young and stupid so it didn't really affect me, but I think it would knock me for six if it happened these days

it didn't affect me until I was older-it happened on mounting a strange horse and came back to haunt me when my own horse bucked me off on mounting decades later. that was a saddle fit issue and generally he was a dolt to mount-he never did it again. But I got to the point where I would be standing at the mounting block and be completely frozen-while he fell asleep. I then developed a kind of mounting OCD! So I completely understand the fear.

 

[Rumtytum]

T

I'm off on my holibobs in a few days.

I have the opportunity to go horse riding in the Colca Canyon whilst I'm in Peru, so I might look into that. It would be nice to spend some fun time on a horse.

I might also look into getting some lessons on another horse or at the local riding school so that I can feel confident in my own riding again.

Thanks for the suggestions.

Peru holibobs you lucky thing! Have a fantastic time!
And when you return do please look into getting a few lessons at a local riding school. I had a meltdown after a fall from a friend's spooky mare, when I recovered I couldn't face getting on her again and headed instead to my local riding school and a lovely horse I knew and trusted 100%. It was exactly what I needed to regain my confidence. I never got back on the mare, my trust in and her and in myself had gone forever

 

[Cortez]

Aside from sending it to a cattle market, how can she sell a horse that even potential loaners don't want to take on because of its behaviour?

Wouldn't it be irresponsible to pass it on without sorting her problems first? She sounds like the kind of animal that ends up passed from pillar to post until someone finally decides to shoot it.

Unless it's unsound, a good trainer will sort it out. And it seems she is not far off deciding to shoot it anyway. OP why don't you send your mare off for sales livery?

 

[JulesRules]

Unless it's unsound, a good trainer will sort it out. And it seems she is not far off deciding to shoot it anyway. OP why don't you send your mare off for sales livery?

She is not obviously unsound but I can't help but think maybe there is something else going on.
I won't send her to a sales livery because I don't believe in passing my problems on. A good trainer might sort her out and then she goes to a new home ...and then what?

There are two possibilities.

1) There is something physical going on which is making her behave like this.
2) There is something psychological going on which is making her behave like this.

These issues can both be masked by a trainer but not resolved.

 

[Cortez]

She is not obviously unsound but I can't help but think maybe there is something else going on.
I won't send her to a sales livery because I don't believe in passing my problems on. A good trainer might sort her out and then she goes to a new home ...and then what?

There are two possibilities.

1) There is something physical going on which is making her behave like this.
2) There is something psychological going on which is making her behave like this.

These issues can both be masked by a trainer but not resolved.

Sorry, I don't agree. If there is something physically wrong then a vet should be involved, if it can't be fixed then yes, PTS is an option. If it can be fixed, then fix it. "Psychological" would be either reaction to unresolved pain or poor training, training can be improved.

You are assuming that there is no one out there who is capable of riding your mare better than you which is highly probably not true. She doesn't sound all that difficult, nothing a competent trainer couldn't sort out. Rather than "passing her on" I would suggest that you give someone else the opportunity to work on her training and give her a better chance in life. If that doesn't work out then she is not actually any worse off than at present, surely?

 

[ycbm]

Unless it's unsound, a good trainer will sort it out.

A mentally strong rider with a sticky seat can also persuade a horse that it has no option than to work through pain.

The most recent of many examples I know of was a horse backed by pros for my friend because it was too sharp for her and for the first pro she sent it to, who would not even sit on it. They backed it fine, though the video I saw was a horse thrashing its tail and attempting to buck. It bucked my friend off the first week it was home. She sent it back and they had no problems with it. She kept it a while until it bucked her off again, then she sent it to a pro to sell, where it reared and bucked and was sent back. Vet investigations showed an incurable stifle issue, clearly already there when it was first broken. Put down at six.

I know that there are horses that try it on and a different rider gets on with it fine. But as a potential buyer, I would rather horses like the OPs were put down than any risk was taken that a horse in pain was passed from home to home or possibly hurt another rider.

The key point to me on this one is that among others, the horse decked its previous loaner who got in fine with it before.

 

[alibali]

OP I think your problems are likely to have one of two possible causes, physical or training. Impossible to tell which at this stage you've mentioned the horse was bought as a project lacking in training and also hock issues in the past. If it were mine I'd bite the bullet seek out the best horse vet within a 2ish hour travelling distance and book it in for a loss of performance work up. If that ruled out any physical issues then I'd send it away for either for either selling or schooling livery. It seems as if you've reached a dead end in your progression together and now you need professional help to move forward, no shame in that, it's how we all learn at the end of the day.

It doesn't sound as if you are getting much pleasure from your horse at the moment, they're not cheap to keep so sometimes its worth spending extra to resolve problems and get the fun back or resolve the issue and sell on to give the horse a good second chance with someone else.

Again no shame in moving on a horse that's just not right for you PROVIDED you bottom out and resolve physical/training issues first to give the horse every chance of a good home. In fact you both might give an enormous sigh of relief! When I was a teenager I used to ride a pony at a riding school, was never unkind to it or treated it any different from any other horse before or since but that pony hated me. It would buck me off before I'd even finished mounting. I was the only one it did that to. No idea why. Had to give up riding it as I'd just keep hitting the deck! Imagine how miserable both pony and I would've been if instead of being at a riding school I'd bought it.....