Getting the trust back

[squidsin]

I'll try not to make this too long-winded! I've had my horse since Feb, she's a 10-year old Irish cob, bought as a safe hack but arrived at my yard a nervous underweight spooky mess. Since then, she's had back/teeth/tack sorted, a liver problem diagnosed (that was causing the weight loss) and treated. We rode OK all through that - after a couple of incidents out hacking we stuck to the school but that was going well, we're learning to jump and having fun. Then she went lame! Vet diagnosed tendon issue, with 2 weeks of no riding then 2 weeks of riding only in walk if she seemed to be OK. When I got back on her after the 2 weeks, she seemed a bit fresh and not that keen on just walking. The next day, she went off in a mad bucking fit as soon as I got into the saddle. I was thrown off, got back on, she did it again. I did an 'emergency dismount.' After that I decided not to ride her until she's been given the all-clear from the vet (hopefully this Friday coming) but I am worried about getting on her now. There were a combination of factors on that day - I think she's in season, and the horses in the next field were galloping about and bucking and having a party. Even before I got on her, she was dancing about and wouldn't stand still to be mounted, which isn't like her at all. My RI (who happened to be there, teaching another livery) reckons she's actually feeling TOO well now and just wanted to join in the party! I'm worried though as she's never done anything like that before - she doesn't even buck and bronc round her field. On the ground, she's affectionate and lovely to handle. I'm getting the back lady out again this week (although god knows I am stupidly broke after all these vet's bills! FC there's no insurance problem!) to double check it's not that. She also has thrush in her back feet which is being treated - could it have been a pain reaction to that? I'm quite a nervous rider anyway so the bucking thing has knocked my confidence - and also, she doesn't really understand lungeing and it worries her, so I am in turn a bit worried about bringing her back into work. Has anyone been through similar? Please throw me a crumb of hope that it'll all be OK if so! (I don't want to sell btw.)

 

[p87]

Once you've had the all clear from the vet, farrier and had back and teeth checked I'd strip everything right back to basics.

Lots of lunging, (perhaps long reining as well if you have the space) and ground work to make sure she is responding to your voice commands and body language. Treat her as a baby, take every step very slowly, lots of time, patience and praise for good work. Don't rush anything, and in all honesty if you aren't too sure what to do in a situation like this you should maybe ask your instructor or someone with a bit more experience to help you out.

Hope it all works out

 

[squidsin]

Once you've had the all clear from the vet, farrier and had back and teeth checked I'd strip everything right back to basics.

Lots of lunging, (perhaps long reining as well if you have the space) and ground work to make sure she is responding to your voice commands and body language. Treat her as a baby, take every step very slowly, lots of time, patience and praise for good work. Don't rush anything, and in all honesty if you aren't too sure what to do in a situation like this you should maybe ask your instructor or someone with a bit more experience to help you out.

Hope it all works out

I have 2 riding lessons (on her) a week normally and have a great RI as well as a helpful YO. My plan is to strip it right back, as you suggest. I've just got this niggling fear that now I've sorted out so many of her problems, she'll be unrideable! I am just being paranoid, I am sure. But horse ownership so far has been pretty stressful (although I adore her, she and I have a great bond on the ground and until this happened I thought we were doing pretty well with the riding, too.)

 

[p87]

I have 2 riding lessons (on her) a week normally and have a great RI as well as a helpful YO. My plan is to strip it right back, as you suggest. I've just got this niggling fear that now I've sorted out so many of her problems, she'll be unrideable! I am just being paranoid, I am sure. But horse ownership so far has been pretty stressful (although I adore her, she and I have a great bond on the ground and until this happened I thought we were doing pretty well with the riding, too.)

You said you've only had her since February... give her a chance to settle in! I would say it takes around a year to gain a trusting bond with a new horse, so just be patient and resist the urge to do too much with her at once. Spend a year taking it slowly and getting to know each other, then watch as it all starts falling into place.

You sound like you are making it stressful for both of you, why the need for two lessons a week? I think you are making her do too much, too soon and she is reacting to you stressing over it all, stop trying to push her into being the perfect horse.

Just calm down about it, you can't run before you can walk.

 

[squidsin]

You said you've only had her since February... give her a chance to settle in! I would say it takes around a year to gain a trusting bond with a new horse, so just be patient and resist the urge to do too much with her at once. Spend a year taking it slowly and getting to know each other, then watch as it all starts falling into place.

You sound like you are making it stressful for both of you, why the need for two lessons a week? I think you are making her do too much, too soon and she is reacting to you stressing over it all, stop trying to push her into being the perfect horse.

Just calm down about it, you can't run before you can walk.

The two lessons is really for my confidence - I ride at lunchtimes (as I work from home and that's when my children are in nursery, it's harder for me to ride at any other time) and there's not really anybody about at the yard then, and I prefer someone with me. I'm a first time horse owner so I still feel like I need a lot of instruction. We haven't been pushing Poppy too far - we've been taking things slowly. I'm not trying to make her into the perfect horse, just get to a stage where we're both confident in each other. I agree I need to de-stress! It's hard sometimes, though - reading forums can make it tougher as I read about people hacking out, and it's not something I can do yet (although I'd like to). But on the positive side, she does really trust me and she's gone from being uncatchable to following me round the field sticking her nose into my T-shirt! She loves me...apart from the bucking me off thing!

 

[p87]

The two lessons is really for my confidence - I ride at lunchtimes (as I work from home and that's when my children are in nursery, it's harder for me to ride at any other time) and there's not really anybody about at the yard then, and I prefer someone with me. I'm a first time horse owner so I still feel like I need a lot of instruction. We haven't been pushing Poppy too far - we've been taking things slowly. I'm not trying to make her into the perfect horse, just get to a stage where we're both confident in each other. I agree I need to de-stress! It's hard sometimes, though - reading forums can make it tougher as I read about people hacking out, and it's not something I can do yet (although I'd like to). But on the positive side, she does really trust me and she's gone from being uncatchable to following me round the field sticking her nose into my T-shirt! She loves me...apart from the bucking me off thing!

Might sound ridiculous but I bet you'd gain more confidence from riding by yourself! You're seeing it as a hurdle and stressing about it, and hurdles are there to be jumped over! Once you chill out, your horse will chill out.

Could you get someone else to ride her to figure out why she is bucking? Obviously assuming her back/teeth/tack etc have all been checked. She may have just realised that she can get you off easily, so maybe a more experienced rider would be able to sit to her bucks and teach her that it's unacceptable, as it is so dangerous.

There's only so much advice we can give you through an online forum, you need a really good instructor and a good support network round you. If your instructor is pushing you and you don't feel comfortable, get a new one. She should be the one who is able to give you all the help and advice that you need after all. Likewise, if you are stabled at a bitchy yard for example, that is going to do nothing for your confidence issues.

Happy owner = happy horse

 

[squidsin]

You're right - riding is meant to be fun but at the moment it does seem more like a chore. I'm feeling so 'meh' about it right now, half-tempted to pack it in. It's a struggle to fit it in with my job and looking after my little ones, and just seems to have been one thing after another. That said, I am not a quitter. I care about my horse and want to work through this.

But maybe my horse has just decided she doesn't want me riding her! She was off like a bucking bronco - a cowboy would have struggled to sit that, so that, at least, wasn't down to ineptitude on my part. An experienced friend is going to ride her before I do.

 

[oldie48]

Getting to know a new horse can take time, up to a year, and if you're new to horse ownership, it may take longer than that to feel completely confident. Some horses when they have settled in a bit will start to test the rider out, especially if they sense a lack of confidence but I'd be a bit concerned if I felt a horse was trying to "get me off" rather than just being a bit fresh or naughty. What do you know about the mare's history and reason for sale? Has she been in a school regularly or just used for hacking? I think I'd get as much info as I can and work with my instructor to try to sort things out. Don't ride on your own if you don't feel completely confident, it's counter-productive. These are early days, so please don't lose heart, I've had horses, who in the first 6 months or so have driven me to distraction but they've "come good" in the end. And yes, I've found it necessary to ask for help from more experienced riders but make sure you have someone you trust who is experienced and knowledgeable and has your interests at heart.

 

[squidsin]

She was used for hunting and hacking before I had her although she's only been in the country since last Sept and before that was used as a broodmare, as far as I can tell. She's quite green in some ways although, until the bucking incident, always willing in the school and really enjoys a bit of jumping. I know the person who sold her to me and would be very surprised if she was untrustworthy. I rode her twice, had her checked over and vetted before buying, and she seemed fine but problems started as soon as we got back to the yard. Could be just the change of scene though as she hates change to her routine. I'm learning fast! I know I need to be patient really but I keep worrying I am doing it wrong! I want her to be my 'horse for life' and wouldn't sell as she is a very sensitive horse and could do badly in the wrong hands - if I hadn't checked out her lack of condition (and everyone told me not to waste my money, she'd be fine once the spring grass kicked in), she'd probably have died of her liver problem. If I really felt I couldn't handle her, I'd rehome her on permanent loan through a charity so I retained ownership. So really I've got all the time in the world!

 

[AmyMay]

Can you lunge the horse prior to getting on it?

 

[squidsin]

She doesn't really understand lungeing but she's going to have to learn as I intend doing a couple of lunge sessions before we build up to ridden work again.

 

[Izzwizz]

When your Vet comes on Friday just ask them about the possibility of kissing spines, they can suddenly start bucking if they have anything like that going on. Just a thought but you may as well as the question. Good luck with her, sounds like she has a lovely home and a caring owner.

 

[soulfull]

It all sounds pretty normal too me

She came to you a bit under the weather. You got her feeling well. But then she had to have a couple of weeks off. So when you tried to ride her again she was very fresh, happy and feeling great. So you got the wahoo I feel good from her.
As you say once she has had the all clear she needs lunging first. I would suggest you get your RI to do this as it really isn't as easy as it looks! I've known a few novices say horse doesn't lunge for whatever reason. BUT when someone really experienced lunges it, it lunges ok after a couple of silly episodes
Good luck

 

[soulfull]

Ps. I do not think having 2 lessons a week is too much. Most of us ride in an arena twice a week. Better that you do ur correctly and safely under instruction

 

[BeepaStar]

Ps. I do not think having 2 lessons a week is too much. Most of us ride in an arena twice a week. Better that you do ur correctly and safely under instruction

Hi there, I agree with both of Soulfull's comments
I think it's worth investing in some lunge lessons, or better still long reining lessons, although I'd ask your instructor to get her long reining first so it's easier for you to then learn.
Long reining is great for both horse and rider, you can build confidence from the ground whilst schooling her it's also really makes you really think about your hands and helps you learn the concept of contact (in my opinion!) along with voice commands, whoa and walk on etc.
I wish you the best of luck, I hope it all works out for you as I know how soul destroying it can be to lose your confidence.

 

[SadKen]

This sounds very familiar! My chap came to me very green, I got chucked on my third ride and lost my confidence. I lunged and lunged and lunged; he didn't like it and I had to be firm, then I eventually started riding under direction from my instructor. He then got a nasty cut and was on box rest for two months. After that I had to start again; the first time I rode him I had a big glass of wine and my instructor led me around on a lunge line. We then progressed to 20m circles in the safe end of the school, with someone walking next to me for the first few laps while he settled. I've had him nearly a year and we've just started cantering and doing pole work. It's been immensely tough, vets bills crippled me and I don't mind saying I've cried a lot and said I'd sell him a few times; like you, he was supposed to be my horse for life as he's sensitive too and had a lot of owners even though he's only 6. He didn't even like me much; even now he has awful mood swings and it's difficult to want to keep working under those conditions. I'd say don't rush it, do whatever feels comfortable. Two lessons a week isn't excessive at all, imho. Good luck, I know how it feels, it is worth it in the end!