Gift Horse now not coming! Some friends are not worth having!

snopuma

snopuma

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When I lost my mare in March I have never felt so devasted. I talked a lot to friends about my mare and 5 weeks ago one 'friend' text me to say that she wanted to give me her mare, I phoned her we cried a lot, the mare is not even 4 yet, was about to drop with her second foal and as friend is ill she said I could have the mare if I could look after them both until the foal is weaned then I could back the mare, she would be mine the moment she arrived.

Over the next few weeks, she has hinted that I should buy her, I refused saying that you had already said you would give her to me, that I could have her when the foal is 1 week old, then they are coming when the foal is a month old, then at weaning I could collect her, she is constantly changing her mind, I have asked her outright many times if she is absolutely sure about the arrangement. I offered that when the mare has finished her career that she could have a foal from her later in life, she had said this was ok, she has only had the mare 3 months and she arrived in a very poor state.

The mare had the foal yesterday and I went over to see them after work, then later I get a message to say that, she would like it if I had the mare as per the agreement but she wants to put her back in foal asap and that I can look after the foal, the pregnant mare and then break her when she is 5!

Does anybody have any suggestions, I really like the mare, have been several times to see her, but I can't cope with the constantly moving goalposts, 6 months to wait was going to be a long time, but 18 months??? paying for livery for a horse I cannot ride for a foal that will not be mine!

Morning tea and biccies for those that make it through!
 
I'd step away from this completely. If you do decide to hav the mare, get a water tight contract detailing dates and who is paying for what.
 
I would say no

by the time you can ride her 18 months. You could have saved the livery fees and bought one, that no one can then take off you if they change their mind!!
 
walk away unless she is going to actually sign the horse over to you, sounds like she wants to just use you as free livery! if she's messing you about now she sure as hell is going to once you have the mare
if she does sign the mare over make sure you get it in writing that she relinquishes all ownership rights, also it's a good idea to pay a a nominal payment, i paid £1 for my gift horse, makes it a legal sale, make sure you get that in writing too.
 
Sounds to me like your 'friend' wanted to be kind, and has now realised she does not want to go through with the offer. I'd walk away.

There are lots and lots of horses out there desperate for new homes, and they come without any strings attached.
 
As others have said -walk away, sharpish! Do not be taken for a mug, and don't fall for any kind of emotional blackmail/sob story. Why is she breeding from it, anyway? She doesn't sound much like a friend to me.
 
Walk away. After losing your mare just a short time ago, the last thing you need is to have your heart broken again by being messed around with this ever changing arrangement.
 
What a shame....I hate people that do this.

Not a horse...but got given some expensive horse gear....just given. Thanks very much I said! Are you sure? Oh yes, no use to me, more use to you...cheers!

Next thing I know, (although the stuff is in my tack room) I find out the person who gave me it, said someone else could have it.

I don't think so! Made it clear that the stuff was BORROWED and I would be having it back in 2 weeks, so the borrower could then buy her own...IF she found it worked....

I got it back.

:D
 
Definately walk away. I learnt the hard way not to mix friendship and business, especially where there are horses concerned its just so emotionally draining.
 
Thanks for replying everyone!

I think you are all right, though it breaks my heart once again this year, it is best for me to walk away, I can only feel very sorry for the mare who will no doubt be put in foal, every year for the rest of her life, it would seem it is all about the money, I have sent a reply to her message, she has not replied yet.
 
Completely understand how hard it is to get over the loss of a horse, but this appears to be a very unsatisfactory arrangement.

As someone else pointed out, the initial offer may well have been made with the best intentions, but now the owner is trying to salvage something out of it and keeps making alterations.

This would be an ongoing problem and i feel that you are likely to become attached to the mare, pay for her and her foal/s and end up with nothing to show for it.

There are a lot of nice horses out there in need of good homes, it's a buyer's market, go find one of your own.:)
 
So sorry to say this but this set up has all the hallmarks of more heartache for yourself, you lost your mare and you are very open to this sort of situation. The woman may have meant well but the unfortunate thing is the minute you say that you are looking for a horse, you tend to get all sorts of too good to be true offers, or nothing at all. Give yourself time to deal with the your loss and then loan or buy, with a clear indication of where you stand. Good luck.:)
 
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