Girls/guys be honest

ILuvCowparsely

ILuvCowparsely

Well-Known Member
Joined
5 April 2010
Messages
15,062
Visit site
Do you tell your partner the whole truth about your horses and purchasing items or do you use selective truths??

Do you hope the new rug / boots will blend into to your already increasing horsey wardrobe....................
My hubby is non horsey (now) and goes on and on about cutting me down on animals.

First said you cannot buy another
Then said I could share which is not suitable for my situation and needs................. but started looking
Then I started saying the word half loan............................. to get him used to that idea - But started looking
Then I said i found a nice one but full loan and he started saying about vet bills etc. I said it will be insured and returned if it did not go right, so he shut up, so he said go have a look then :D I thought, with all the bad luck I have had in the last 24 months I need some good things happening


He never asked who will pay this and if he does I will say half and half.

Are you selective in what you think your hubby needs to know like when you buy new rug etc?

be truthful here if your partner/parents wont see
 
Last edited:
He doesn't ask, and I wouldn't expect him to. I make my own money, the family are well cared for, so what I have left I spend as I wish. I don't think it would even cross his mind to ask me what I am buying for the horse! If he asked me about a new rug, I would be so excited that he feigned an interest in a rug that I would go into all the technical details :p
 
Whenever my OH moans about how much money and time goes into neddies I remind him politely that they are there 365 days of the year to keep me occupied and happy- he is in the army and away for 6 months out of 12! I pay for all my horse stuff (but then we aren't married) but I guess the result is that I am therefore poorer so he pays more of our "joint" stuff. He did buy me a hay cube once though!!
 
It depends on the state of our financial affairs at the time for big purchases/commitments but otherwise, I just tell him. He's never minded and he's too observant and I respect him too much to fib about it. He knows I work hard to afford them so it's not an issue-I do not expect him to contribute. He did buy my current horse for me when it became apparent that my last horse wouldn't be around for a lot longer.

I would not put our financial security a risk over a horse though and that also entails a price on all their heads when it comes to vet treatment.
 
I got a part time job to pay for my pony, I have since become a lady of leisure, so my husband pays for everything. I've never been extravagant though, I have amassed the grand total of three turnout rugs and one cooler over eighteen years, all of which were bought at sale prices. I only buy quality tack and make it last, it works out cheaper in the long run.

If I need anything I mention it and buy it, but I would never make big purchases without him knowing.
 
Yes - but we're not yet living together, so not many 'joint' finances at this stage per se (other than a holiday and other non-essential but nice things). He also has an expensive hobby - he actually spends more on his, than I do my horse, which I'm sure helps.

He came to Hickstead yesterday and I didn't try to cover up my purchases or the cost, although they were all sale/show price by happy coincidence.
 
I will knock a bit off the purchase price of things if I feel hubby just wouldn't comprehend the cost/value (Thermatex and bridles are good examples!)

I am another that earns my own money and once the bills are paid I get to spend it as I wish

I'm reasonably sensible though, I wouldn't buy something expensive then expect my husband to pay for the next lot of hay etc
 
Yes, he knows how much I spend and I try to keep it sensible.
Negotiations have just been started ref getting a second horse as the one I have (I love her to pieces) does not have the same schooling and competing aspirations that I have, despite trying everything I can think of for 3 years.
I couldn't bear to part with her so would have to have 2 and maybe look at a share / part loan of current pony.
 
My partner actually WANTS to spend money on horsey things... More so than I do! He generally spends money quite liberally - figures what's the point of money if you don't spend it - whereas I'm instinctively a saver. He earns considerably more than me and I think it's his right to do as he wishes with his money. The fact he's willing to spend it on something I love is a plus! He has turned rather horsey himself though! So perhaps it's a bit different.
 
No, not unless it's a big purchase.
I was speaking to one lady and she managed to buy a horse without her husband noticing! He saw it and said 'I thought such and such was dark brown' and she said 'oh he's lighter in the summer'. Her old horse was bay and new one chestnut!
 
Why lie? He knows that I get a good deal or I don't part with the money and in any case I have my own income that's more than sufficient for all my horsey needs on top of the other bills I pay toward our shared lives. I'd hate to lose the trust between us by being deceitful.
 
Yes I tell him. He may wince but tough ;)

I find it a bit weird not telling your partner stuff like that. How would you feel if he was spending money on cars or something and lying about it? Tbh I think it says a lot about the relationship.
 
MotherOfChickens said:
It depends on the state of our financial affairs at the time for big purchases/commitments but otherwise, I just tell him. He's never minded and he's too observant and I respect him too much to fib about it. He knows I work hard to afford them so it's not an issue-I do not expect him to contribute. He did buy my current horse for me when it became apparent that my last horse wouldn't be around for a lot longer.

I would not put our financial security a risk over a horse though and that also entails a price on all their heads when it comes to vet treatment.
Click to expand...

this, my OH is very horsey and even if I wanted to I couldn't fool him, in the past, since I use my own money, he just shakes his head when I buy a new bridle or rug, now I am very cost concious and understand OH more
 
Yes - I'm completely honest with stuff like that. I see no reason not to be and think it's a bit strange the lengths that some people go to to hide certain purchases and prices etc. I can understand if people are struggling with money though and see why OHs might worry.

On the other hand I couldn't ever imagine buying a horse and not sharing the news - I would want to share my happiness with him and have him involved in the process :)
 
Completely honest, our money is joint, actually everything in our lives is joint. I. Am pretty frugal though, I have enough tack and rugs to go around our three horses and no need to keep buying for the sake of it. I think we both nearly fell over though when Tinner needed Imprint shoes and the full set was £380, I had to tell OH so we could sob together!!
 
I earn my own money, put money into the joint account and the rest is mine to do with as I please but OH is very sensible, when I bought horse no. 3 as 1 then 2 had broken (still have both but luckily have own land) he expressed concern that I would be knackered etc but once decision was made was quietly supportive. If I buy general horse items he doesnt bat an eyelid.
 
I just bought an Equipe saddle, and I wanted some bow balance stirrups. As they are extremely expensive I told OH these were the only ones that will fit my new saddle.

Shame on me.

I should say that he would never object to me buying stuff, as I don't object to him buying mountain bike bits. But when you don't want to pay for your dinner you have to tell little fibs.
 
Last edited:
SpringArising said:
Yes - I'm completely honest with stuff like that. I see no reason not to be and think it's a bit strange the lengths that some people go to to hide certain purchases and prices etc. I can understand if people are struggling with money though and see why OHs might worry.

On the other hand I couldn't ever imagine buying a horse and not sharing the news - I would want to share my happiness with him and have him involved in the process :)
Click to expand...

Ahh but what if you hubby said you're are NOT allowed to buy another horse. You could only share or 1/2 loan and you had spent the best part of 6 months looking and all the horses were
A. not allowed to move yards
B. all of the companion only or dressage only or wrong height

NO! jumping ones and the only way is buy one and pretend it was a loan.?
And you had not ridden for the past 4 months and not cantered or trotted for 3 years due to your own horses tendon injury.
 
Last edited:
I know someone who managed to buy a horse and more recently a lorry without telling her husband! Horse, saddles and lorry purchases are always joint decisions, day to day items of tack etc aren't really dicussed and are my decision.
 
It's my yard, my money and my choice.
There is no way that he would interfere as this was all in place before he came along 16 years ago.

The only concession i ever make is to be considerate in time there, but as am early riser, all chores and riding usually done before he even gets up at a weekend
 
I wouldn't lie to a partner, its my money and if I want a saddle or whatever and I can afford it, then I will buy it. Parents I tend to mention things later on...like they don't know about new horse yet (unless daughter has dobbed me in!)
 
alainax said:
If he asked me about a new rug, I would be so excited that he feigned an interest in a rug that I would go into all the technical details :p
Click to expand...

Same, I'd be ecstatic! I have far too many rugs. :redface3:

My OH wouldn't dream of querying my spending on anything, as I wouldn't dream of querying his. He buys what he wants, I buy what I want. He keeps a very close eye on finances and pays all the bills and moves money round as required. I'd be broke if it weren't for his financial brain!
 
HGA-12 said:
Ahh but what if you hubby said you're are NOT allowed to buy another horse. You could only share or 1/2 loan and you had spent the best part of 6 months looking and all the horses were
A. not allowed to move yards
B. all of the companion only or dressage only or wrong height

NO! jumping ones and the only way is buy one and pretend it was a loan.?
And you had not ridden for the past 4 months and not cantered or trotted for 3 years due to your own horses tendon injury.
Click to expand...

Obviously you should be honest, but whether your OH is being unreasonable depends on several factors, particularly:

1. Is the horse's purchase price/running costs being funded out of a. Solely your own money b. joint funds c. Solely partner's money
2. If b. or c. then are you struggling for money at the moment?
 
TGM said:
Obviously you should be honest, but whether your OH is being unreasonable depends on several factors, particularly:

1. Is the horse's purchase price/running costs being funded out of a. Solely your own money b. joint funds c. Solely partner's money
2. If b. or c. then are you struggling for money at the moment?
Click to expand...
purchase yes my money running cost yes money out the stables which I run but he does pay lighting and water included in the house and contributes vet bills.

He wont even comprise like me buying the horse then get a sharer to pay half thus in the boat he wants but i have control over the horse by means of going to competitions without running past anyone first.
struggling is a huge word - yes I have spent a lot recently on trying to save my donkey at rvc and 3 days ago my cat.

Both the past animals Lost - my mare and donkey (i brought) so if they were still alive we would still have their bills anyway so having lost them I see no financial change if I brought a riding mere to compete on.
 
Last edited:
HGA do you think it's definitely about money?

My OH has said he can't bear to watch me break my heart over another horse. This truth popped out after an initial discussion about the cost of saddles, chiro etc. It wasn't the money but as a logical man he thought this might help me decide not to carry on with horse ownership. Your post made me think this might apply to you too.
 
If you are able to cover the possible vet bills as well (I know horse will be insured but you would need to cover any exclusions/excesses) then it seems unreasonable for him to stop you getting another horse. The only proviso being that you/he are not currently in debt for any reason, but particularly animal-related costs like vet bills.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top