Give up? Carry on?

[Dustygirl]

Took a tumble off my mare yesterday- nothing awful but I have hurt my lower back. I’m in my early 50s and only ever been a leisure rider - hacking some prelim dressage etc.

Mare can be sharp - I’ve had her over 7 years and obviously I’m very fond of her , she’s a lovely horse on the ground but like I said can be a bit sharp!

Recently she’s had recurring sinus issues that we’ve not got to the bottom of so far. Although at the moment she’s showing no symptoms.

Im on a small yard (friends house) and currently have no one to hack out with due to the other ridden horse having some traveling issues. Hacking from the yard is poor. I’ve looked around locally for other places but haven’t been able to find anything I can afford/ doesn’t have individual turnout etc.

Mare is 14 - can’t sell / wouldn’t let go with current health question mark and I would never want her to be passed around. But I’ve lost the joy in riding.

So do I just turn her away ….

OH will probably say why keep her if you’re not going to ride her (he’s not horsey ) and does pay for her livery!

Answers on a postcard! Just feel better for putting it out there!

 

[JBM]

If you want her to still get out but don’t find it fun to ride anymore would you consider an exerciser? We had one at my old yard who would ride the horses if the owner was busy or away

 

[Muddywellies]

I'd be searching avidly for another yard. Not all yards advertise so you'll need to do lots of enquiring. I think with more people around you and better hacking, you'll get your mojo back.

 

[Annagain]

I'm in a vaguely similar situation. I'm a bit younger and only had my horse 18 months, he's 8 but he has recently been diagnosed with some issues. I've never really felt right on him, the whole time I've had him. He had time off with the issues and when it came to getting back on, I just didn't want to. He's currently on schooling livery which, once we've established he's fully back in work and happy, will turn into sales livery. In the mean time, I've been riding two cobs at the yard and loving them. C's three weeks into work and doing brilliantly.

Making that decision was the hardest thing I've ever done as a horse owner. I've never sold a horse before and never intended to sell C when I bought him. He will be sold with full disclosure and I'll probably lose a fair amount of money but my happiness and his is more important.

I'd get her health issues sorted - they don't sound insurmountable and think about selling her. Even with her issues, if you're totally honest about her, she'll find the right home and you'll find a horse that suits you.

 

[JBM]

It’s also important to note that sometimes we just need a break from horseriding. I took a year gap from horseriding a couple of years ago for mental health problems and when I came back to riding I was much happier and loved it even more!
Sometimes we just have to much stress! Currently my horse is on loan while I finish college as I am doing college work and have two jobs so it was better for Judy to go to someone who had the time for her and she’s happier being treated like a princess ?? I still check in on her regularly and she’s still mine I just know she is getting more exercise and time spent with someone else right now ??

 

[pistolpete]

Find someone to ride with somehow. Find the joy in it or get a sharer to ride her. I agree with not moving her on but I wouldn’t think you’re in a good place to decide after a tumble. Air jacket to increase confidence? Some lessons?

 

[I'm Dun]

Mine had all winter off. If you need a break take one. It doesnt have to be forever. But I do agree with looking for another yard. The right yard makes a huge difference!

 

[Sossigpoker]

Could you advertise for someone experienced to come and ride her and give yourself a break ?
I agree that moving would be what I'd do if I had only poor hacking and that's what I enjoyed.
Do ask around for yards as like others said , not everyone advertises, I found my new yard, which is great , through mutual friends. The YO didn't advertise as it's a small yard so she wanted the right person to keep a good atmosphere over just anyone.
If you can get access to better hacking , someone to ride with or someone to ride her , you may well get your mojo back

Before I moved mine ,.I was having to ride every day due to lack of turnout and it was a chore. Now that I don't have to ride , I look forward to it and we both enjoy it a lot more!

 

[dorsetladette]

It wouldn't hurt to turn her away for the summer and give yourself a break and time to look for a better hacking yard with more people to ride with.

Or we have a hacking buddy FB page locally, maybe there is one for your local area too. People post when they are free and where they would like to hack in the hope that someone is riding in that area at the same time and would like a buddy. If your mare doesn't mind traveling and your happy to drive to good hacking that might be an option. We have some beautiful hacking around here, but a lot of people don't even know it exists. There have been a few friendships created from the page too which is nice.

 

[FourWhiteSocks]

Sorry to hear about your tumble and hope you back heals quickly. It sounds like your mare is lucky to have you, whether or not you turn her away. She has a safe place to grow old because of you which is more important to a horse than being ridden.

A different yard might help you to have more fun, but could also cause more stress in the short term for a sharper horse. Seeing someone else ride my horse always gives me motivation to get on myself, so perhaps a sharer might help if you do plan to ride again at some point? Your other half doesn't necessarily need to know if you are riding or grooming or chatting with your sharer over a cuppa and watching them ride your horse. Happy wife, happy life and all!

If you advertise for a sharer to ride full-time whilst your back heals, you can explain that you might start riding when you feel ready. Then there is no pressure on you to make any quick decisions. Plus then you won't have to face getting back on a sharp horse after a long break if you do decide to ride again.

 

[canteron]

There is a lovely riding school/livery yard near me that does working livery.
So, it still costs, but the horses are all well worked and so if you want to ride, they tend to be sane and in work - and always people to hack out with.
There is a wealth of experience in the owner and staff.
If you could find something like this, even if it meant more travelling, it would give you a chance to reestablish your enjoyment and either you would get a saner horse back who understood work, or if you decided to sell, it would be in good place to find a good home you could be really picky about!

 

[Dustygirl]

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply - I really appreciate.
Lots to think about.

 

[millikins]

How difficult/expensive would it be to sort your friend's horse's travelling issues? Would that help? And another suggesting turn her away for a few months, you'll both enjoy the break.

 

[Rocky159]

Put her in foal?