Giving up horses???

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SnowGo

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Apologies for being whiney in advance!

I've been considering giving horses up for months now. I've just graduated from an equine degree and alongside it being the most pointless degree ever (is that an "I told you so" I hear?!) its made me really sick of horses. I actually said the words that if I didn't own a horse I'd happily never see one again after I'd finished in June! I love my own horse dearly but I hate everything that comes with it. I'm also struggling to find graduate work which I don't think is helped by the fact that I have to consider a horse whenever I look at jobs that aren't in my city. (I don't even know what I want to do job wise which is a whole other post!) It all makes me feel very trapped. My whole life is planned around my horse and I dread trying to do it all with a full time job on top. I've never enjoyed mucking out, doing hay nets, etc, but before it felt worth it for the horses. But now I just feel like I'm gong through the motions. I feel like I ride like a potato and I barely get to compete either so I don't have much motivation to ride. But if i don't ride it feels like throwing money down the drain. I moved to the yard I'm at when I finished uni and its got a cross country course and a nice arena so I should be loving it but I'm really not!

If I didn't have the horse I did I'd give up no question, but I keep thinking of how much i'd regret selling my current horse if I ever want to come back to it. She's utterly brilliant and I'm frequently told how lucky I am to have her which keeps making me second guess selling her. I keep thinking about loaning her out but you hear so many horror stories and my loan of my previous horse when I first went to uni went horribly and I'd dread a repeat when I'm potentially even further away.

Obviously most people here haven't given up horses, but for those of you that did even for a little while, how was it? What made you go back if you did? How did you cope with selling or loaning your horse(s)?
 
It was great. I had horses for about ten years straight then gave up for a year or so. I couldn't believe how much extra time and money I had. The nicest part was not having that sense of responsibility to get up there every day though. It felt like a weight off my shoulders.

Then I got a bit itchy so bought a youngster to bring on and sell. Had her for three months, then took another break of a year or so. Just recently I've been riding a mare once or twice a week but I don't enjoy it all as much as I used to.

IMO if you're feeling like you want to give up then it's time for a break.
 
I dont know why an equine degree is "the most pointless degree ever"..... I know several people with one, all very successful in varying realms of the equine industry. One is a nutrition specialist, one runs her own yard, another is a rider/groom for a major international SJ rider, and another is head groom to a successful eventer..... all love their jobs. You just need to decide what direction to go in.
But I do think it can be quite difficult to have your own horse and a full-tiime job, whatever the job, especially if you work weekends and cant compete, or have to stay away nights.
 
I gave up once many years ago. The horse I had on loan went back and I was horseless while I saved for my own. I didn't have anything to do with others horses during this time because I just found horses were a money pit whether they were mine or shares or lessons. I didn't have any horsey friends to let me have an occasional ride with no other involvement, so I had a total break. It was ok, but there was always something missing, I didn't realise how much I'd missed it until I got back into it. But then I didn't take a break because I was sick of horses so my situation was slightly different to yours.

I don't really understand what you mean when you say you need to consider a horse when you look for a job. I've always fitted my horses in around work. Sometimes a new job has meant a yard move, full livery/grass livery or a total change to the way I manage them, but it's always worked out. I always rode just to ride though. Do you ride to compete? Maybe if you can't do that any more and have lost all motivation to ride then giving up horses could be the right thing to do. I've known others give up for this reason and not regret it, though most of them missed their particular horse, just didn't miss having *a* horse and all that goes with it.

If you want to keep your horse could you make things easier on yourself with either grass or full livery and a sharer? That way you could be as involved as you wanted to be. Even things like swapping from hay to haylage (less messy, less dusty, no wet haynets to handle etc) or changing the type of bedding you use (to allow you to only skip out some days/weeks) can make a difference to how time consuming the stable chores are. I often think about giving up, but I've done that once before and I recognise it's more that I want a temporary break than to give up completely. I know that I'd come back to horses eventually and regret having got rid of good horses who are basically everything I want, so making small changes (which all add upto an easier life) has been the way to go for me. I see my horses as family and generally keep for life, so maybe it's different for you. Just because you sold a nice horse now doesn't mean you'd never be able to own a nice horse again in the future if you wanted to come back to it.
 
Not really same thing, but my son sold his horse at Easter, as going to uni and as she was a comp Polocrosse horse, start of season was best time to sell.. then I sold all the horse stuff, lorry, kit etc.. he can hire for tournaments if he wants, but I've not missed the horsey stuff, and today in my cosy lounge and it's tipping down and cold outside ..well ..I don't miss doing the horse at all.!!! . it's a difficult choice.. I wish you all the best whatever you do.
 
I had a break when I started uni for a few months and didn't think I missed it. I must have done subconsciously. I became more grumpy and more easily irritated than usual. I gave my housemate a lift to the local riding club and got roped in for a ride. Everyone remarked on how much nicer I was afterwards ooops haha.
At the moment if I was to give up I don't know what I'd do with myself. It sometimes feels like a chore, usually when its howling windy and the gits have all trashed their stables. If it feels like a chore all the time perhaps its time for a break. Maybe loan or get a couple of sharers. I fit my horses around my work and even when applying for jobs I haven't thought I would have to fit the job around them instead.
 
I put my horse out on loan for a year with option to extend because I didnt think I would ever come back to it but I didnt want to sell him either (I adore him but fell out of love with the whole horsey thing!) The loan was brilliant and he was twenty minutes away and I made the effort to see him bi weekly then monthly. I WOULD NOT recommend a loan unless its close enough to visit monthly minimum and have an iron glad loan agreement.

You never know, absence might make the heart grow fonder? I spent a year looking at properties and loving not having a horse but then stumbled across a property with land and now have my own stables at home. the boy came back off loan after his year (July this year) and we are having a great time. If we hadnt brought a property with stables and land, would I have had him back off loan? Probably not but I cant 100% answer that!
 
I gave up when my last horse was put down. Bereft is an understatement. I missed every little thing about having a horse. However five years on I think it's unlikely that I'll get another. Never say never though...
 
sounds like you're lacking direction and motivation more than anything. Perhaps part loan which will give you a bit more time to find out where you want to go with life? I started an equine degree...quit half way through my second year as it just wasnt doing anything for me so get why you're sick of horses after 3/4 years of it! I've got a broken knee and ive been out of it now for 2 weeks...it's killing me though before I hated mucking out and all of that (6 at work and 8 at home) but now cant wait to be able to do it again. Id consider loaning to make the transition and decision a little easier..then you havent set anything in stone :)
 
I couldn't personally do it as I am one of those weirdos who likes cleaning the stable, doing haynets etc. I love looking after my horse and hate having him on full livery but what must be must be.

But you do sound really bored of it all and not enjoying it. I know loans can sometimes be horrible but maybe try again you never know. A lot of people get good loaners so it might still be a good option.
 
I said earlier this year that I was giving up, but I still had my two retirees. After a break, I've realised that I do want another to ride, so will shortly be looking for a new one.
If your heart isn't in it, there's no shame in giving up or having a break if you need. I do sometimes think of how much money I'd have if I didn't have horses, but that way lies madness!
 
I gave up for about 8 years. I'd worked as a dogsbody on various yards and done a diploma in equine science, kept my own horse etc but got sick of mucking out, the crappy weather, bad tempered horses/owners etc.
When I came back to it I deliberately decided to only have horses living out, personal circumstances meant I couldn't manage the rigidity of having a stabled horse. Yes they still have to be checked twice a day, field poo picked etc but it's so much more relaxed. Maybe grass livery or loaning would be a good way to go so you don't have to make a firm decision.
 
I gave up for about 10 years and I didn't miss the work at all, but I did miss the riding. But my circumstances were different, I was married with young children. And yes, we did get a pony and I couldn't wait until the pony could be big enough for me to ride too!

It is hard if you have a really good horse though, and we have all heard horror stories of bad loans. Why not try with a sharer, as someone else suggested. If this is a success then maybe it could develop into a loan so you would be free to look for jobs elsewhere.
 
After making the difficult decision to part with my boy, I spent months looking for another. I have to say once Id got over the initial ritual of clock watching, getting up at the crack of dawn, stressing etc I did start to think what am I doing looking for another. I felt Id had a massive weight lifted and started to enjoy not having the responsibility and worry of a horse. So what did I do.... buy another! At first it was amazing, she was the horse Id been looking for, for years and everything was going great until 6 weeks after I bought her she got kicked in the field. Shes had 6 weeks off now and the stress and worry is no fun. Hopefully she will get the all clear this week but Ive made my decision now that there will definately be no more horses after this one and I will be booking a 2 week hols over Xmas and NY as soon as Im horse free lol.
I did take a 5 yr break years ago and missed it terribly. Good Luck in your decision.
 
It certainly sounds like you need a break, even if it's just for a while. Why make owning a horse into a chore - an expensive, time consuming one?

Your horse sounds like she's good enough to continue on in a good, competitive home. It sounds like, unless you're attached beyond words (sounds like you're not?), selling her on might be the best option. It'll give you a chance to recharge your batteries and have a good think.

Loaning is great, but it won't be the clean break you clearly need.

Whatever you decide, OP, good luck.
 
I gave up horses for University. I didn't own again until I was 30. I was glad not to have the tie so I could move wherever my degree could take me. Finding that first graduate job is hard enough without being tied to a horse. Plus to get on you really need to put the hours in and not be worried about getting to the yard to get your horse in.

In that time I moved around, shared a few horses and rode at a riding school - where I met some good horsey friends.

It sounds as if your horse will find a great home and there's plenty of opportunity to have another good horse in the future.

Best of luck whatever you decide.
 
I have a few horses and I repeatedly wonder when I am out in the pissing rain and freezing cold why on earth I am doing it ! But then I know they are my passion and I love it. I think at the point you really stop enjoying your horse its time for a break at least or perhaps to sell as you mention. You have to enjoy it or just don't do it.

As you are a little scarred by loaning (and I don't blame you) why not consider roughing her off for 6 months on a retirement livery type basis to give you a break and time to think. You might find you really miss it and come back in full throttle. The down side of this can be that she will be hard to sell after 6 months off and will need bringing back in to work etc so it is a bit risky if you still want to sell after your break.

The retirement livery might work as they would usually check and feed twice per day for you, but then I don't know what your area is like for these type of places. Around here its about 200 pounds per month. Hope that helps !
 
I started to dislike horses when my old boy was PTS and I had 2 unsuccessful loans...lasted 3 months without one....then got my current boy who I love and adore. I must admit it was nice having more money and time, but I felt really lost.
 
Gave up for twenty years. Always felt I was missing something.

Got back into them. Lost my horse of a lifetime. Gave up again, though we still had others, and not ridden for about two years now, though there are horses in the field. One is now ready to start his working life, but I'm too heavy and I'm a bit wonky, so he's on the back burner 'till D1 is home from Uni next year and can concentrate on him. I did go out and buy a three year old ID gelding a few months ago. Due to my wonkiness I hardly see him. I'm starting to wonder if this is it and I'm no longer into it, but when I do get to the field, and finish faffing with boots and body protector (I mustn't fall), then I enjoy it. He's a very friendly horse. But I've been there before, so no rush decisions. Maybe I'll wait 'till he's backed and see what health is doing because if he goes then it's definitely no more.

I sort of enjoyed the free time, as all the horses are out 24/7/365, but lately I've felt that I'm missing out on the routine. I miss having to shift m'butt to see to them. I think a balance is needed and everyone has to determine what that is for them.

Thinking about it now, I really miss the Dizz. We'd got to the stage where she and I could go for a long rein mooch on our own and just chill. That I miss. Spending time with her. Hm. An interesting thread in that it's bringing up all sorts of feelings.

Good luck on whatever you decide is right for you lass.
 
My advice is sell your horse (to a nice loving home) and everything associated with it and get on with your life.
You can always go back to horses later on...........................
 
I gave up after my boy was PTS two years ago, it hurt so much because he was my horse of a lifetime. I enjoyed the lack of responsibility, felt like a weight off my shoulders. I also enjoy the extra money and taught myself to shop rather than horsey shopping :-). If you feel like you need a break then maybe you do, it doesn't have to be a long one.
 
I've given up a few times over the years and it seems 4 years is about as long as I can go without one. I'm now getting back into it and bought my new horse 3 weeks ago, I've completely changed tack and gone Western. My new one's on full training livery until next year so I don't have to do anything yet so a gentle re-introduction. Like others I'd suggest you loan yours out from its current yard rather than sell though as buying a good horses is very difficult and a complete gamble.
 
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amymay said:
I gave up when my last horse was put down. Bereft is an understatement. I missed every little thing about having a horse. However five years on I think it's unlikely that I'll get another. Never say never though...
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I know this is an old thread, and apologies for dragging it back, but this quote is exactly how I'm feeling now.

I lost my favourite, most wonderful old buddy one week ago. I too am bereft. I had no idea how much it would affect me. I want to cry walking past the carrots in the supermarket, I want to cry when I see 'equine supplements' pop up on my eBay favourites. I'm lost without him.

The reason I'm posting is because I now wholeheartedly regret all the replies I wrote on threads such as this one, saying (in a flippant fashion) that I'd give up horses once my oldie had gone. I didn't think I'd miss it so much. I miss him every moment of every day. I'd had horses for decades, but my oldie was that special one who is irreplaceable.

But I can't see myself being without a horse forever - not yet, and no horse will come close to my old boy - but some time in the future, I'd like to think I could build another bond.

Cherish your horses guys. When they're gone it's the worst feeling ever.
 
I have ended up turning my horses away to grass for the worst of the winter - unfortunately it has been due to soundness issues but I think it's the way forward for me - they can all have a winter break from Dec to march and I can miss out on the slog of trying to keep them going through the worst of the darkest, coldest months. Perfect compromise I think :)
 
I don't think it's a useless degree, but clearly you're stuck in a rut.

Rather than sell your amazing mare and then later regret it, would you consider putting her on full loan ?? You would then get a good feel for what it would be like without her without making a definite decision ?

Good luck !
 
OWLIE185 said:
My advice is sell your horse (to a nice loving home) and everything associated with it and get on with your life.
You can always go back to horses later on...........................
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Completely agree with Owlie.

I lost my pride and joy 6 years ago now, and never really found the "one" to replace him, which in hindsight was really why I fell out of love with horses. I sold every horse I had 8/9 months ago now. I've been through ups and downs in this time, regretting the decision etc.. but as every horse person knows, it's a lifestyle and the lifestyle change definitely wasn't easy for me.

But, I've got a blooming good career going in central London (I also live in very central - zone 1), and yes I miss having the horses, but I know I will go back to it one day, when I am ready and in a position where it won't necessarily take over my life like it did previously (I worked to pay for the horses, pretty much living paycheck to paycheck).

My advise, sell your horse to the best home possible (I literally put homes before the £) and enjoy your life - you only have one!
 
amymay said:
I gave up when my last horse was put down. Bereft is an understatement. I missed every little thing about having a horse. However five years on I think it's unlikely that I'll get another. Never say never though...
Click to expand...

Pretty much the same as Amymay, I gave up when mine was PTS suddenly. I miss him massively even now, however I cannot see myself getting another. I enjoy my free time and money too much, the last few years of my horses life was stressful and he was in and out of the vets. I don't miss the constant worry, but I do miss the mucking out oddly enough!
 
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