Giving up horses

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Welly Boot

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Has anyone recently been through this? I'm almost at the point where I've had enough of everything - lots of work and little in return. I haven't bonded with the 2 horses I currently have and it's feeling more like a chore to schedule my whole life around making sure they are ok. How on earth do I go about selling lorry, tack rugs, breeches etc and the horses (appreciate it's not the right time of year so will wait til spring) but want to start to think about getting rid of everything and getting my life back and some money in my bank account.
 
I would certainly wait until the Spring. I've lost count of the number of people who have said that they are giving up horses in the depths of winter but change their minds when the weather improves. If you are sure that you want/need to sell, I suggest starting with the horses. Would you feel better with different horses?
 
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Let us know what you want to get rid of and I’m sure you ll have some buyers. Could you take some pressure off by getting a freelancer to do your horses one day or a couple…just to giv3 you a break?
 
If you're really intent on selling your horses do some work with them first. They need to show that they have been taught the basics. A horse that knows very little won't achieve much money if you actually find someone interested in them. Get them ready for the spring so you'll be ready and they'll be ready to be sold. Yours lorry & tack etc can be sold at anytime of year.
 
Gave up nearly 3 years ago and don't regret it in the slightest. I'm not struggling for money each month, when I had the horse I'd be thinking "oh this month hasn't been too bad" then thered be something he needed

I was sick of all the chores, not even the mucking out but the poo picking, the filling the troughs etc, by the time I'd done that I'd had enough but would still have to ride, which I also no longer overly enjoyed

I was basically spending a lot of money on something I now hated, and was getting stressed over my own costs and money just evaporating each month

I do not regret giving up in the slightest, horses are not the be all and end all, and I was no longer that horse mad little girl. I'm not worrying about money constantly, my mental health is better, if a financial cost comes up with the house i can contribute equally with OH rather than him having to put in the lions share, which is what I wanted. I can put more in the household budget each month which is just as well given how the cost of living has massively escalated- seeing that coming was a huge factor in my giving up, I could no longer afford a horse

I thought I'd maybe miss the hacking and going for a gallop, I'll get the fleeting "I'd quite like to go for a gallop" but I've sat on a horse once in the last 3 years since giving up, and don't miss it at all.

All the fun had been sucked out of it, and I was no longer that horse mad little girl. I'm sure you'll get lots of people saying don't give up, but thought I'd offer a perspective from someone who doesn't regret giving up in the slightest. There's more to life than horses and it's miserable spending so much on something if it's not enjoyable anymore. People can fall out of love with it, i always thought i never would, but actually, priorities change and the world isn't just horses

I did well selling everything on FB marketplace and eBay (factored postage costs into the price), at the end I was offered an amount for everything i had left and wanted shot of it as was sick of the sight of it, so accepted so bundles are also a route you could go down. I made sure everything was clearly photographed, any wear and tear clearly noted, and priced to sell as I just wanted it gone. There was also a horse items selling page for my local area that I put it all on as well and got some sales through that.
 
I'm going through the same. I've had my horse for nearly 6 years, and although I love him dearly, I'm at a point in my life now where I need a break from horses - mentally, physically, and financially! I've struggled juggling working full time, with being a new Mum and managing a horse on DIY. Me and my husband want a second child and I can't go through it all again with a horse in tow. My horse is going on LWVTB, and although I'll miss him, I'm actually looking forward to stepping away from horses. Our mortgage is going up at the end of the year too so I'm sure the £300 odd a month I currently spend on him will just go straight on the mortgage instead! I've been deliberating on the decision for months, but once I made my mind up, it felt like the world had been lifted off my shoulders and I'm feeling positive it's the right decision to make.
 
sport horse said:
On the news this morning - 20th January is the most depressing day in the year. Wait till tomrrow?!
Click to expand...

Was just about to say - It's Blue Monday! Not the day to be making life changing decisions.

We all feel like throwing the towel in at this time of year. Better prices come spring and you may feel differently. Could you drop down to one? maybe a different one?
 
The shit firmly hit the fan in my life on this day nine years ago and I made the choice to sell up. Everything sold easily, maybe not for top top price but for fair prices. I don’t particularly think it’s a terrible time of year to sell. What I would say is, it doesn’t have to be forever. Take a break, see how you feel. I do actually have horses again but you, like others have said, may also be happy spending your time and money elsewhere 😁
 
I am very borderline also..2 very nice horses(one which I will never sell) the younger one as much as I love her and she is a fabulous horse, I need to sell her.
I just cant keep up with the costs of keeping/competing 2 horses and the time and energy I put in.
My husband and I are both mid 30s, childless home owners and we are finding that we are enjoying travelling so much more....
So where do horses fit in to this....

First world problems I guess.
 
My two are prematurely retired and I am sharing - I enjoy it when I'm on, but very mixed feelings about the rest of the time. I definitely don't feel like getting another at the moment, but can't face the idea of selling the lorry etc. And I am concerned about selling everything and then wanting to get back to it.

I did have a break a few years ago when my then horse died in a field accident and I did enjoy the break for two years (catch rides occasionally and treks on holiday etc.) but also suddenly was desperate to get back after a couple of years! But I can't keep the lorry for two years "just in case"!

I guess I'm not much help!
 
sport horse said:
On the news this morning - 20th January is the most depressing day in the year. Wait till tomrrow?!
Click to expand...

I don't want to bring politics into this, but that's so fitting given the political situation in my country. 🙃



Back to the horse thing. I've been blabbing on about making an exit for years, but I still haven't. Partially because I don't want the horse to end up in bad hands.

With this particular horse, every time I come to peace about selling him, he does something that makes him temporarily unsellable. Whether it's contracting a virus, falling on ice, outgrowing his saddle (how can you show a horse and let people ride him without appropriate tack, really), my trailer being stuck at a garage for repair so I can't transport him to a vetting, or having a new farrier making him footsore. There's probably another occurrences I've forgotten about too!

So the universe keeps battling me on it 🙄

For me, generally, it's not a relaxing hobby. Although, I can come away from some training sessions with a deep feeling of peace. It's just all of the other surrounding horse related BS. Stressing over his wellbeing, wondering if that slight funny step means something, and just scrutinizing everything. It's like some stupid hyper awareness.

This is why I didn't have kids 🤣 I don't think it's for my personality type. There's just a lot of work and mental energy that goes into horses, and sometimes, to me, it's not worth it.

I am also overwhelmed at having to part with and/or sell all of my stuff too!

At the end of the day, it's ok to leave horses. It's ok to leave and come back, but it's also ok to leave and never come back. Do not let anyone make you feel guilty or bad about it. I know some can't see life without horses, but some of us can, and that's fine.

If the cost (mental, financial, physical, emotional, time, etc) is too high, it's ok to to say I've had enough and it's time to breakaway.

Sell some things in a "package deal" with the horses if you can. I'm sure the lorry will sell just fine if it's in reasonable condition. For the other things there are Facebook groups and other sales platforms. For me, I'd also donate a good bit too. I don't want all of or tons of money back, but some is better than none. Donating is also rewarding for me.

Or you can just burn it all in a sacrificial ceremony.

Kidding. Kidding.
 
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I felt like this, this morning -but made myself go out for a ride, which was fabulous, and now I feel enthusiastic again.

So I guess if you never ever get that then it’s right for you - but January gloom is such a bad time for big decisions I think!
 
I occasionally go through this. I’ve lost both my riding horses to old age over the last few years and now have companion ponies. I’m lucky to have them at home and living out but it can still be hard work, I have limited help/cover and do sometimes find myself feeling tied to being there to look after them, and the endless poo picking is a chore, particularly in the ever increasing wet weather.

I don’t miss riding, nor do I know where I’d find the time to fit it back in to my life, or the money to be training and competing regularly again.

That said, every time I half seriously think of selling them/selling up, I do genuinely find myself wondering what ‘normal’ people do with their evenings and weekends without horses to do. I think the gym and seeing more of friends has filled that riding gap, but I find I talk myself back round to sticking at it because I can’t imagine life without them. And deep down I probably don’t want to imagine it either.
 
After many years of horse owning my last mare was pts two years ago I'm 75 really miss the interaction but..no more,I made the decision gave all my gear to a local charity all my friends have lost their horses we have great memories and a bit more money
 
I've been teetering for a while, I think not finding the right horse for me and now, with the considerable hike in prices, not being able to afford to buy the sort of horse I need has not helped in the least. I compromised by getting a sharer because my YOs didn't want me and the horse to go (sharer was their suggestion).
 
I have two and can't imagine not having them - I'm happy to see them every day. But if yours are not doing it for you, just sell! So long as you find them the best homes you can, there's no real loss. Even if you sell them at below theoretical market value, you still save all the money you would've been spending on upkeep.
Horses are too expensive and stressful to keep if they're not making you happy *most* of the time. Particularly if yours are sound, rideable, saleable horses.
(Then if you really miss it, and find you actually hate foreign holidays, meals out, new clothes, clean hair, etc - buy another one.)
 
Like a few others suggested, try sell one and you may find you have more time freed up to either dedicate more on the other horse or doing other things. And if that still doesn't ignite the spark then it might be time to get out of horses.

I had two horses for a while and it was a struggle fitting it all in. After the poo picking and feeding out etc. I'm usually too tired to ride. Not to mention everything cost twice as much.
I have taken a break several years ago (sold practically everything, tack was sold with the horse) but I was right back into it a year later. 11 years on and driving to see my horse is the best part of my day, I just love it, even if it's for a quick 10 minute visit. But I also know a few people that gave up the horse life and found new passions elsewhere.

Is there anything you can do to make your life easier? The best decision I made last year was to move yards. I was doing so much chores such weeding, poo picking, cleaning up branches as we have lots of trees, that I had little time and energy left for my horse. I had been at this yard since covid and it's like a second home. It was no longer worth the effort as time went on though. Now my horse is in a group paddock, lots of grass so I don't need to feed hay or poo pick. I can just rock up and play with him, feed etc and go home. Plus he's the happiest he's ever been.
 
I came to the decision that the horses have to go this spring about 6 weeks ago. I love them dearly, even if they have been field ornaments for 4 or 5 years but age (70++) has crept up on us. Money is not a concern as I'm in France on our own land and grass grows most of the year so hay is cheap, I give hard feed only in cold periods, and my farrier's granny is my immediate neighbour so he charges me very little.
However one day, possibly soon, something will happen when we just can't give them the care they warrant. It was a real struggle when our third horse got colic 2 years ago: just walking her around continuously for 5 hours before having to admit defeat and accept PTS was exhausting. We would also like to travel a bit more before having to give up driving long distances i.e. more than 4 hours back home.
In good health feeding, grooming, watering etc is no problem but field maintenance is an ongoing task requiring fences to be mended, the tractor maintained, and grass kept in good order.
It's a hobby for fit people which we are no longer.
Once the horses are gone we will have 4 hectares of bio eligible land for sale in Lot-et-Garonne as it is nowhere the house, 1 Someca tractor, 2 horse trailers which we have used mainly for big shopping, plus the usual rugs, saddles etc.All of which will require us to have our mental faculties still intact.
 
Thanks everyone :-) I think I am going to sell my 2 yo as although he has huge potential and really moves, am not sure I like him (which sounds awful I know) I'll wait til spring when his summer coat is through etc and some spook buster training with him in hand but he already has the basics you would expect.

I really appreciate everyone who has taken time to comment xx thank you xx it's so refreshing to hear I am not alone!
 
Sounds really sensible. There's no point keeping a horse you already know you don't click with. I hope having made the decision to sell one means you can relax a bit.
 
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