Giving up?

LEC

LEC

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Does anyone like me get so frustrated by their lack of ability that they just feel like giving up? I do not think I will ever have the time, money or ability that I want in order to do well and I am so competitive and do not want to pootle around doing 2'6 that I wonder if its all worth it?

Has anyone felt like this and yet now have calmed down about it? Do Pros ever get this frustration?
 
No, not giving up ! I am sometimes frustrated that I am not as good or brave as I would like to be though. I have no desire to stay at unaff levels on experienced horses, but have pretty much decided that I would like to bring on young horses up to PN level then sell them on to someone to take them further. I'm pretty competitve too and always need something to aim for otherwise I get totally demotivated.
 
I think that is a wise decision but at the same time I could not bare to sell a horse and then see it fly through the ranks. I am in a catch 22. Frustrated by my lack of ability but too jealous and competitive to sell my horse!
 
I get extremely frustrated as never quite reach the levels I'm aiming for. I too am extremely competitive and get so frustrated that my percieved lack of ability constantly lets me down. I frequeently have times when I wonder if it is all worth it but I guess horses are my life so I have to learn to live with it!
 
Sounds like you are suffering more from lack of confidence than lack of ability. I have days when I feel like - "why have I just bought a 4 year old?" "I can't bring him on/he's too sharp for me etc etc" but I have to make myself just get on with it. Like you, I am way to competitive to ever just be a happy hacker - I have to have aims!
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I know I am like this in everything. I could never be a fun runner. I might start out with that intention but before I knew it I would be training, going to the gym and finding races and trying to win. I would then be suffering from exactly the same thing I am now of disappointment in my ability! I would not say horses are my life but they take up a lot of time and on the whole I enjoy the work.

Maybe its a good thing always looking to improve and being hard on oneself. I never had this complex as a teenager!
 
I am like this all the time, I am really competitive, but also have very little belief in myself, which means I never think I can achieve what I want, but have no choice but to try! It is really frustrating, but again, I wouldnt be happy staying where I was, so I keep aiming higher
 
I do know what you mean, I am very competitive and it does upset me that I really have the wrong type of horse for my current chosen discipline and also obviously my own lack of ability. I do have days where I think what's the point. However I have a great bond with my current horse and really do not want to sell him. My instructor also has a good method of cheering me up - he constantly reminds me to remember where I have come from. Very good advice as I look back and remember the achievements we have had even small ones and feel very proud. I'm not sure if that helps at all?
 
I know I am too competitive for my own good. I am also going to be well p*****d off if Lucy gets Rags going a lot better than me - which she will. I am trying to accept that different horses go better for different people and whilst Rags may now fly up the ranks I am also sure that Sarnie would not go for many pro's - she appreciates an amature that she can show who is boss
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I think everyone gets frustrated. It's hard being a distinctly average amateur against all the pro's.. Sometimes it seems like the professionals have an endless supply of talented horses and a never ending pot of money. I'm sure that's not the real case though!

The real thing that frustrates and upsets me with horsesport is the chances of injury to our horses. Whether it's in the field or out competing, you can be the most careful, considerate owner and have the most talented horse but one injury and it's game over. That's the reason I'll give up, if I ever do..
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Yep agree.
All the time and did very nearly throw the towel in.
Didnt matter how many times i was told you ride well by hightly thought of ppl. Mines a lack of confidence in myself.
Doesnt help being competitive, i never go to just *have fun* I go to win and then get annoyed when i dont.

Mind you, the day that feeling leaves me, the day I know its time to hang up the boots.
 
I've always wanted to be better than I am
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But I now accept my limitations. I will be happy to do well at low levels and anything I acheive beyond that will be a bonus. Perhaps I will be reincarnated as a super talented rider?
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i know how you feel also. I always want to do better, and i get hughely disapointed if i get a bad patch or setbacks such as injury and all that heartache makes me wonder if its worth it.

however i look back say 2/3 years ago and my aim was to do an intro, and a aim much furthur away was to do PN.

I have now acheived both of these aims and although yet to PN really succesfully i know its is very possible and im now aiming to do well at PN and try N. This all with a horse which when i had the 1st few months i thought io wuld have to sell her i couldnt get on with er at all.

I bet if you all look back on what you have done since say you were a teenager you have acheived far more than you had expected.
 
Most riders wish they'd got greater ability & beat themselves up when things go wrong. They also compare themselves to the pros & then get depressed when they realise how much above them they are but you shouldn't. If you genuinely have a problem in a certain area find an instructor who can assist you with it & that area will greatly improve. As for the pros, yes they are very talented riders....but it's also a great help when you have a string of horses that are some of the best in the world & you have sponsorship that pays for things.

When you have great horses, cash backing & can ride full time without the distractions of a job to pay the bills then of course you improve greatly. Most of us are never going to have that luxury though.

We try & keep our chins up & do the best we can with the horse & finances that we have..
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I have two lovely horses one with bags of potential and the other ( if i really have to be honest) will never achieve what I want due to a niggling old injury. But I will battle on with help with the 4 year old and continue to nurse the other through and enjoy him while I have him. I sometimes look at where I want to be and feel like throwing in the towel. But when I look back at what I have achieved, then I am proud.
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I have had to accept that with my capabilities and my horses I will never make the olympic event team or even the dressage team( i can dream)
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, so as long as I can get improved dressage marks on every outing (as I am rather competative and need a goal to work to) and have sound and happy horses then that is enough......
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Toby Zaphod is right and pretty much sums up exactly how i feel
 
I think I must just not be very competitive- I like to acheive goals but dont care if they arent acheived with fantastic performances. Thats why I'll never make a pro or a particularly good event rider, I genuinely do it for fun and the adrenaline buzz!
 
I think honestly all of us have these moments even if they're only fleeting. I have VERY high aims longterm - and I WILL make it - but there are sooo many things to overcome before I get there. I'm hoping my training with Polly Jackson will give me the guidance I need to go further - I think sometimes you do need someone else there to guide you and support you especially if you have high aims.
 
Wow, it is actually quite refreshing to read all the posts about this. I guess we all have times of self doubt.

Ive been SJ unaffliated for years, and its only in the last year or so that that ive gone to BSJA. It was a shock i can tell you! I suddenly realised that i had ALOT to learn even though ive been riding for years. It caused a massive drop in my self confidence, but when i really think about it, ive already achieved alot. In four months ive gone from jumping BN to 1.05's and im aiming further....

Its hard, but i just keep my focus on my goals....as long as it takes, you know....
 
Gosh i think we all feel like that. I know i look back and wonder what happened to all my confidence and ability. Then i realise when i was in young riders etc, i didn't have the hassle of work. Someone else picked the bills up and all i had to do was ride. So i now have ambitions that are more within my capabilities. I still lack in belief in myself which is something that i have to overcome.

I have become more realistic over time, i am not going to jump on Nations Cups etc, what i am going to do is produce my nice 4 year old, get his double clears and be proud of what i achieve. Though i do still harbour that aim for a Foxhunter Finalist, but hey we all have to have dreams!!
 
Don't you think though that we all put so much pressure on ourselves too? Because I have done well in the past I put loads of pressure/expectation on myself to do well again, even though my circumstances were totally different then... I wish I knew why when in reality my horses are a "hobby" now and it really DOES NOT matter if I don't ride for a few days. And it really does NOT matter if I don't compete/never compete at the level I used to again. Why do we do it ourselves?
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bossanova- in a way im also like you, im not overly competitve and i dont go out to "win" i am happy if i go out and have a good run and feel like i have acheived a smaller aim, rather than actually winning something.
 
I feel exactly the same alot of the time.

I am continuously putting myself down and moaning about my lower leg and how everything I have turns out to go well on the flat and doesnt jump! We went through them all the other day and there are valid reason (not my fault) but I cant help but get depressed about it.

Just want to have my two horses and event! I dont even want to do really well just to be completing on them bother majority of the time would be great. But then I am really really competitive and it soon turns into wanted to be placed, wanting to win etc and therefore put more pressure on myself. And although I hate the pressure I do perform better under it.

I am competitive about everything I cant even go bowling with work colleagies without making it completely serious and that I MUST win!! Sad really but thats how my dad is and so that is why im like that I think!
 
I think you are confusing a lack of ability with a lack of resources.
Fundamentally you would be far better if all you did was ride, have lessons, compete and have half a dozen animlas to ride.
Cause that isn't happening till you get your lottery win you have to content yourself with being an underacheiver.
I get moments exactly like this and also get frustrated that I only have one horse (as you do) and that she has limited ability, (as you do), but we should console ourselves that we compete on equal terms with the best in the game (albeit at a lower level) and hold our own.
I also have an attitude a bit like Boss's most of the time, where I really am competing against myself and am happy to have performed well rather than necessarily successfully. I konw that you are trhe same, so give yourself a kick up the behind and just go and have fun - after all what's the alternative..... basket weaving
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I only feel like giving up when the horses are overwhelmed with never ending injuries

But giving up because of feeling frustrated by lack of ability? no never because although I have no natural ability whatsoever and still have a long, long way to go I just know that Im improving all the time because every once in a while I will have a totally 'eureka' moment when I discover a new way of doing something that makes such a difference.Every year I look back on the year before and I can think yes; I've learnt loads, discovered new ways of doing things and have come a long way and I will feel really happy with that even if Ive not even done any competitions. Its not just about learning to ride the horse its also about managing the horse's care, work and daily program so that he is physically and mentally 100% on the day of the competition . And that is what is a never ending voyage of discovery, and thats what I find so amazing and inspiring about it and that is what motivates me into keeping going. I love watching the horses grow in phyisque and musculature as their work improves, and with that, they improve mentally- you can see that in their eyes and I love producing the horses towards that goal. As for being competitive I want to do well yes, but would hate to win an event if I had ridden badly and the horse had had to help me out loads I would not call that a win. I would rather come last and know that I had ridden the horse properly and effectively and the horse had come away from the competition with renewed confidence.

As for not having enough time- I think, (In most cases) there is always time to be made even if it means you have to go to bed later or get up a few hours earlier in the morning.I work mostly night shifts so that I can do the horses in the day which has meant that I have the time to ride other peoples horses for them which altogether helps improve the riding. Yes it is frustrating not to have the set up and advantages that professionals do but there are ways around some things..they have more money for what? more horses? but I wouldnt want to ride and compete 10 horses a weekend that would take the fun out of it. A better horse? well a good horse can be found cheaply you just have to look.more training? well watching the pros and buying their books and videos, getting someone to video you is just as productive.
 
I have never thought about giving up as I love competing but I do get very frustrated at competitions and then I take it out on my mum, which I hate doing.

I got my first horse when I was 13, she was 4 so not your ideal age but she has taught me a hell of a lot. I spent my school years at boarding school so competing was difficult and I never got the continuity you really need. Honey who we got as a 4 year old was then diagnosed with navicular at 6 so I had to get another horse, Onyx. Onyx and I had a rough time, we never really clicked jumping, he knocked me out xc and trampled me SJ!! I also had people continually telling me that I should sell him but in the end we did succeed at affliated dressage.

Honey is now back competing and although every competition is a bonus I forget that she has navicular and LOU and I want to do well. I am now at uni so only ride when during holidays. I always want to do better, I don't go out to win but I do go out to try my best and improve everytime I go out.

I am now getting frustrated with myself as I am riding dressage tests like an idiot, just over riding and so losing marks. I know my horse is more than capable of doing a good test but at times I do doubt my ability. I want to event or BSJA but I have never had the right horse at the right time.
 
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I think I must just not be very competitive- I like to acheive goals but dont care if they arent acheived with fantastic performances. Thats why I'll never make a pro or a particularly good event rider, I genuinely do it for fun and the adrenaline buzz!

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Ditto the above - I am 'competitive' in the sense that I want to go out and do the very best I can with the limited time I have to do horses and practise at home.
I really don't think you can compare pros and amateurs-its a whole different ball game if horses are your job. I am juggling a full time job which is my income plus then racing home at night to ride, school, have a lesson etc because I am wanting to compete once a week. I think its unrealistic for me to feel bitter towards pros who do go out there and win - of course they do - they are training to do so 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. Unless this is what you do, just get out there, have fun and ride to the best of your ability.
 
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