God, I am annoying..

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

I am very aware that I have become the annoying horse owner that worries all the time, I feel for my poor YM, who thankfully is very patient and friendly.

Having lost my last two horses both younger than 9, and now having a three year old that I’m nervous I might ruin somehow I just play the ‘what if’ game all the time.

Is his fly mark too close to his eye?
What if I take him out in hand and lose him?
What if I do x,y or z and give him a bad experience?
Was he trying to wee then and couldn’t or stretching?

I ask myself things like these on all the time. I have NEVER a day in my life been nervous or really worried much, I’ve always been a ‘it is what it is’ kind of owner.. I wonder what’s changed now. I’m actually quite embarrassed for myself..

Please tell me I’m not alone???

 

[MereChristmas]

You are not alone
I lost a home bred gelding aged 6 to EGS in 1999.
It was about 5 years before I entered a stable and didn’t put my ear to the horse’s ribcage to listen for gut sounds.
I still note poo’s even though F is on full livery.
It gets easier I think but past experiences always affect how we think and view everything around us.

 

[Anna Clara]

I'm exactly the same having lost two young ones before my current two. Every morning I'm tense as I go down the drive, wondering if something could have happened to them overnight. I worry every lump might be a sarcoid, every time I see a funny step (e.g. they walk over a bump) i think oh god that could be it, game over. It's awful. I find it really hard to forward plan and have dreams about the future because I'm so conscious they could be stripped away at any moment. Its awful.

Very interested in how anyone has got over this.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

My worst fear is laminitis so I am constantly feeling pulses and watching them walk, I worry about impaction colic as Arabi has had 2 pretty bad episodes so constantly make sure his droppings are not dry and that his not dehydrated.

 

[CanteringCarrot]

You are not alone.

For me it's not necessarily because I've lost many, but it's more because I've seen a bunch of sh*t over the years and know what can go wrong. I also suffer from internet information overload, so I just know too much! Combine that with my personality and it's a recipe for disaster.

I've had to learn to shrug some of it off, because horse keeping is quite primitive where I live now, but amazingly, my horse is still alive and well. My sanity on the other hand...

 

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

I don’t wish this on anyone but I have to say it’s reassuring that I’m not just neurotic.. well I am, but for a reason.
I also just generally believe that others know more than me so keep second guessing even things I’m confident in.. feels like someone’s pulled the rug out from under me sometimes. Day to day I’m fine, it’s just the what if game constantly subconsciously… and sometimes consciously!

 

[Dave's Mam]

I don’t wish this on anyone but I have to say it’s reassuring that I’m not just neurotic.. well I am, but for a reason.
I also just generally believe that others know more than me so keep second guessing even things I’m confident in.. feels like someone’s pulled the rug out from under me sometimes. Day to day I’m fine, it’s just the what if game constantly subconsciously… and sometimes consciously!

Oh I know this feeling.

 

[Peglo]

I got both my old girls to a good age and lost them with age related issues (very lucky) but even so when I got Tali before the oldies had even passed I worried about everything! I was totally stressed and it came from nowhere having previously been very chilled with the other 2. And I totally get the ‘other people know so much more’ thing. I also didn’t realise how much could go wrong until I joined the forum! If I’m panicking without cause it’s no wonder your so worried after losing 2 so young.

I have tamed down a bit after a couple of years but I think she will always be a worry for me. She’s just too fab.

 

[PurBee]

Anxiety of fear of loss is something we all encounter to varying degrees throughout life, especially when there has been difficult losses already experienced.
If you’re finding it getting to the point of bothering you, inhibiting your enjoyment of Dex, you might be interested in BWRT therapy? A poster posted about this only yesterday, having used this therapy for loss of riding confidence, and experiencing a complete turnaround from just one session.
I was reading about the therapy last night following on from that post and it seems that multi-decade established therapists are even using BWRT therapy moreso than previous therapies they offered, due to its effectiveness for treating all kinds of anguish/fears/anxieties we can experience.

Maybe that’s something you might find helpful?

Here’s the main website giving more details - there’s a heading on there ‘find a Practitioner’ link to source someone accredited local to you :

The Terence Watts BWRT Institute - Welcome to BWRT Professionals

www.bwrt-professionals.com

 

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

Anxiety of fear of loss is something we all encounter to varying degrees throughout life, especially when there has been difficult losses already experienced.
If you’re finding it getting to the point of bothering you, inhibiting your enjoyment of Dex, you might be interested in BWRT therapy? A poster posted about this only yesterday, having used this therapy for loss of riding confidence, and experiencing a complete turnaround from just one session.
I was reading about the therapy last night following on from that post and it seems that multi-decade established therapists are even using BWRT therapy moreso than previous therapies they offered, due to its effectiveness for treating all kinds of anguish/fears/anxieties we can experience.

Maybe that’s something you might find helpful?

Here’s the main website giving more details - there’s a heading on there ‘find a Practitioner’ link to source someone accredited local to you :

The Terence Watts BWRT Institute - Welcome to BWRT Professionals

www.bwrt-professionals.com

This is super interesting! Thankfully it’s not to the point that it’s taking the enjoyment away, I’m just more annoying myself because I know that I’m being that annoying livery. It’s so embarrassing!

If it does get to that point though I will definitely look into it

 

[Barton Bounty]

You are not annoying, past experiences are making you second guess and their is nothing wrong with that! You and Dex have an amazing future

 

[Cloball]

I think I must be the most annoying livery, I constantly worry I have/am ruining my pony. I second guess stuff I know I know all the time. My YO is a saint.

 

[Ahrena]

I'm exactly the same having lost two young ones before my current two. Every morning I'm tense as I go down the drive, wondering if something could have happened to them overnight. I worry every lump might be a sarcoid, every time I see a funny step (e.g. they walk over a bump) i think oh god that could be it, game over. It's awful. I find it really hard to forward plan and have dreams about the future because I'm so conscious they could be stripped away at any moment. Its awful.

Very interested in how anyone has got over this.

I feel this! I lost my riding horse 3 months ago due to a field injury. I found her with a broken leg and the fact that I was sat having a morning coffee whilst she was suffering haunts me. I have my horses at home and barely an hour goes by where I don’t step outside and check them now. Every morning when I do first check I feel sick at what I’m going to see.

Also really struggled with doing stuff with the young ones incase something happens to them. That bit is easing with time and exposure.

 

[Barton Bounty]

I feel this! I lost my riding horse 3 months ago due to a field injury. I found her with a broken leg and the fact that I was sat having a morning coffee whilst she was suffering haunts me. I have my horses at home and barely an hour goes by where I don’t step outside and check them now. Every morning when I do first check I feel sick at what I’m going to see.

Also really struggled with doing stuff with the young ones incase something happens to them. That bit is easing with time and exposure.

Im so sorry you lost your girl hugs for you

It just does go to show that it doesn’t matter where you are home or livery , terrible accidents still happen.

 

[SantaVera]

I am very aware that I have become the annoying horse owner that worries all the time, I feel for my poor YM, who thankfully is very patient and friendly.

Having lost my last two horses both younger than 9, and now having a three year old that I’m nervous I might ruin somehow I just play the ‘what if’ game all the time.

Is his fly mark too close to his eye?
What if I take him out in hand and lose him?
What if I do x,y or z and give him a bad experience?
Was he trying to wee then and couldn’t or stretching?

I ask myself things like these on all the time. I have NEVER a day in my life been nervous or really worried much, I’ve always been a ‘it is what it is’ kind of owner.. I wonder what’s changed now. I’m actually quite embarrassed for myself..

Please tell me I’m not alone???

I expect it's because of loosing the other horses. I've owned horses for over 50 years and sometimes I long for the early days whe ignorance was bliss. I'm always waiting for some disaster to happen these days.

 

[ycbm]

I expect it's because of loosing the other horses. I've owned horses for over 50 years and sometimes I long for the early days whe ignorance was bliss. I'm always waiting for some disaster to happen these days.

Ditto.

 

[Hollylee1989]

Yep! Always worrying about gas colic, and now laminitis flare ups. I always jump to worst case

 

[smolmaus]

I'm exactly the same having lost two young ones before my current two. Every morning I'm tense as I go down the drive, wondering if something could have happened to them overnight. I worry every lump might be a sarcoid, every time I see a funny step (e.g. they walk over a bump) i think oh god that could be it, game over. It's awful. I find it really hard to forward plan and have dreams about the future because I'm so conscious they could be stripped away at any moment. Its awful.

Very interested in how anyone has got over this.

I don't think I will ever get over this. I am a naturally anxious person anyway and maybe the 3 years at the sanctuary made it worse but horses with problems are completely normal. It's expected. It's when, not if. Seeing people with horses that have been completely sound and healthy for years on end, and they never seem to worry feels like I'm being lied to somehow.

Maybe also it was the 10 years of giving my heart to rodents, you get 18 months to 2 years max and then you have to say goodbye. Thinking that we could have the cats for another 10 or even 15 years is mind blowing to me. That Sadie could potentially make it to 30+ I can't even conceptualise. I've had the cats 3 years and Sadie for almost 2 and in the back if my head I'm just waiting for all of them to be snatched away.

I try and look at it that every good day when they're all healthy and happy is to be appreciated and never taken for granted. Its a more positive spin, but it doesn't bring the stress levels down any.

 

[Love]

Not so bad with the horse nowadays but I was HORRENDOUS when puppy first came home!

 

[Btomkins]

Not alone! I have recently found myself overthinking some things I do with the big young lad Zach. He’s just so nice I just desperately want him to stay that way and not have any bad experiences! He’s shown me time and again he’s a chill boy and hasn’t reacted to anything but I find myself overanalysing and ‘what-iffing’ a lot more than I ever used to.

 

[meleeka]

I expect it's because of loosing the other horses. I've owned horses for over 50 years and sometimes I long for the early days whe ignorance was bliss. I'm always waiting for some disaster to happen these days.

This. I do think it’s put me off even owning an equine, or a dog. Vets bills are horrendous and I’m just not sure I want to put myself through it anymore.

 

[olop]

I’m exactly the same, I had quite a scare with my older lad last year and literally every little thing I think something is wrong! I luckily have the most patient vet in the world!
I’m constantly listening to his tummy, really noting his stride pattern, looking at his face to see if he seems happy, I could go on and on!

I think it’s quite natural to worry when things have happened to your own. When he was younger I was never like this!

 

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

Not alone! I have recently found myself overthinking some things I do with the big young lad Zach. He’s just so nice I just desperately want him to stay that way and not have any bad experiences! He’s shown me time and again he’s a chill boy and hasn’t reacted to anything but I find myself overanalysing and ‘what-iffing’ a lot more than I ever used to.

This 100% could have been written by me.. I feel you! I let Dex sniff a sign today out in hand and then he chose to spook and then was spooking and being a bit silly all the way back. Not honest spooking but distraction spooking. I kicked myself for letting hiM stop the whole way home.

 

[Lois Lame]

I don't think there would be one single pile of droppings that I witnessed my horse deposit that I didn't take a quick glance at. Same with the dog. I feel it's just a normal thing to do.

I did mention this to my sister once. (She's not the slightest bit interested in horses.) I think she thought I was a bit odd.

Is his fly mark too close to his eye?
What if I take him out in hand and lose him?
What if I do x,y or z and give him a bad experience?
Was he trying to wee then and couldn’t or stretching?

And yes, I wonder about this sort of thing too. I think it's normal. I hope it's normal. Even if if it's not normal, there must be plenty of us out there doing the same.

 

[Ahrena]

Im so sorry you lost your girl hugs for you

It just does go to show that it doesn’t matter where you are home or livery , terrible accidents still happen.

Absolutely. The ironic thing is my motivation for moving 200 miles to be able to afford land etc was lack of livery yards in my area that I felt were safe (I.e not saggy barbed wire fences).

Then the horse went and kicked a bog standard 5 bar gate.

I’m good friends with Michen and Boggle and I think we’ve concluded the more you worry and try and do everything right, the more likely it is for them to find a creative way to get sick or horribly injured, whereas people who don’t don’t seem to have these problems.

 

[Barton Bounty]

Absolutely. The ironic thing is my motivation for moving 200 miles to be able to afford land etc was lack of livery yards in my area that I felt were safe (I.e not saggy barbed wire fences).

Then the horse went and kicked a bog standard 5 bar gate.

I’m good friends with Michen and Boggle and I think we’ve concluded the more you worry and try and do everything right, the more likely it is for them to find a creative way to get sick or horribly injured, whereas people who don’t don’t seem to have these problems.

BB is never sick really a few field injuries and an enlarged colon a few years back and in two weeks spasmodic colic and an abscess everyone gets unlucky sometimes

 

[gryff]

You are not alone.

For me it's not necessarily because I've lost many, but it's more because I've seen a bunch of sh*t over the years and know what can go wrong. I also suffer from internet information overload, so I just know too much! Combine that with my personality and it's a recipe for disaster.

I think you might be me!

However, all my catastrophising came in handy when I did find my mare in one of the nightmare scenarios I've always envisioned. I came to the yard to find her with the most horrific broken leg, but because I'd been through this situation a million times in my thoughts, I was unbelievably calm when having to deal with the situation.