Good adverts vs bad ones

EQUIDAE

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Does anyone have any examples of really good advert wording (and really bad)? I'm soon to be doing an advert and want it to be the best it can be. I did a really bad advert for my loan mare a while ago and even though I have a good one now I think people wonder what is wrong with her as she has been advertised so long...
 

be positive

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I write ads for a fair few but they all vary so much depending on the individual and it's attributes, I would be happy to help via pm if you want to run something by me, I usually find I get interest immediately and as the ads describe the horse correctly they often go the the first caller.
 

EQUIDAE

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I write ads for a fair few but they all vary so much depending on the individual and it's attributes, I would be happy to help via pm if you want to run something by me, I usually find I get interest immediately and as the ads describe the horse correctly they often go the the first caller.

That's what I am hoping for - I sold a mare last year and I could have sold her 6 times over. She had left the yard within 4 hours of the ad going up. She was an easy horse though and this is a bit more of a tricky character. It's wording it so he doesn't sound like a complete nutjob but also not leaving myself open to him bouncing back straight away.

I might take you up on that offer if you don't mind :)

Include the important information. Do not tell a story about anything. Don't use the words sad sale, stunning or mother daughter share.

Oh god no! I also won't let the horse write his own ad - 'My name is Spot and I am a 15h bog pony...'
 

lewis2015

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I'm currently looking for another horse, and I must say the phrase 'NO TIMEWASTERS/ HOOF KICKERS' written like that in capitals puts me off! Whilst I understand that people must get frustrated selling their horse, what exactly is a timewaster!? Someone who wants to think carefully before committing to buying a horse? Someone who wants to look at a few and decided which is best? It's just really off-putting. Also, ads that just say things like 'not a novice ride' or 'needs an advanced rider' with no explanation of why.

Good luck selling/ loaning your horse :)
 

EQUIDAE

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I'm currently looking for another horse, and I must say the phrase 'NO TIMEWASTERS/ HOOF KICKERS'

That's definitely one that I am going to avoid as I hate it too. I got called a time waster myself - saw an ad that sounded ideal, spoke to the owner over the phone and went to view the horse. The ad stated the horse was 15h - I have a 14h3 and a 14h myself and it was smaller than my 14h! I politely told her that the horse/pony wasn't going to be suitable and wished her well with her sale. Later the ad was updated to 'readvertised due to timewaster' - the ad hadn't been taken down and I hadn't made an offer and pulled out. What would she rather I have done - ridden the horse for an hour knowing it wasn't suitable? At least by not riding she had the option of someone else trying him later on that day if she wished.

Here's a thought - should I put 'Not suitable for a novice'? I am thinking of leaving it off as the horse is unbacked - would this be unwise?

Can I add at this point in case there is any confusion - this is not an advert and I will be paying to advertise with H&H when I do post one.
 
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