Good old HHO kick up the bum needed please?

P

Pidge

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Ok so after a very good day Saturday doing the farm ride at Somerford and then having a very good school on Sunday http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/forums/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/2812131/an/0/page/1#2812131 where for the first time ever he went nice and soft and round and straight at canter, we have had a really bad lesson again tonight
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I'm kind of getting fed up of achieving things when schooling and really looking forward to showing my instructor how well he's been going and then he's a tit on the lesson and I end up getting cross with him, he has a nervous breakdown and it all degenerates from there
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Is it worth ditching the lessons for a while and just concentrating on schooling etc or what?
Am really peed off at feeling like this yet again but don't know what to do?
He was back to leaning on the left again and the canters were awful and he wouldn't stop and and and breathe.....................
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I would try a lesson with someone different, see if you can work though the problems. I dont see lessons as showing off the good work, rather as a place to work out issues with help. jerry is always a tit in lessons but comes in handy as I am getting very good a working him through it
 
I know how you feel - well sort of, I tend not to have so many good days in between instructor coming though
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Have you thought about whther you're feeling under pressure yourself and then maybe projecting this. I'm only suggesting this as 1. I can't think why he would act differently when your instructor is there and 2. I have the most rubbish lessons when I feel like everyone is watching or I have to get something perfect for someone else. When I just think "sod it" I actually do better, very odd and doesn't bode well for any competition aspirations I might have
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What about the weather, could that be contributing? Sorry I can't be more helpful. What does your instructor say?
 
I had an awful lesson on Saturday Molly wouldn't do what I asked was leaning on my outside rein and was snaking. Went for a hack Sunday and she was an angel.

i think they like to show us up when it matters more to us.
 
But my instructor is very good and has worked wonders with both of us
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It's just when he's a tit I get annoyed with him and then as he is so sensitive he gets worried and it all goes downhill in a vicious circle
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nothing major at all in some people's book but he then leans on the left and goes faster and won't drop down a pace when asked
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I just think I can't ride to save my life on days like this and I get so annoyed and upset yet its really trivial
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I do hope you are not too sore after all your problems today? You really have been through the mill and here is me whinging about a pants lesson.....................
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I think he gets pushed more on a lesson as she does work both of us hard but doesn't expect us to work this hard the rest of the time.
I think because I respect her so much and have learned so much from her that I try so hard to do well in the lesson and then when it goes wrong I get tense and stressed
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think its probably me being too tense then and passing it on to Pidge
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Do they do calmers for humans?
Because he is so sensitive he does pick up on the slightest thing, how can I stop getting so tense?
 
Why is your instructor not picking up on your anger/crossnesss?
Is she/he helping you to work through this?
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Lessons are there to improve both us and our horses.
Pushing the boundries of where the horse wants to be will mean harder work for us.
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Don't get upset when he does'nt do as well as you would like. It's most likely because you are asking a little bit more and he doesn't think he should, when the rest of the week he hasn't got to work so hard.
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At the end of the day you pay your RI to improve you both, sounds like it's working
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she does and its she who worked out how sensitive Pidge is and the fact he goes to pieces when I'm negative voice commands or get tense
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It's just so hard not to get tense when he doesn't do things right
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I know your right we have both improved so much its just so frustrating when things don't go to plan
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am I being too hard on myself?
 
I've just bought a "calmer for humans"! Read about Equimins Rider Calming Capsules in a magazine (Horse or Your Horse I think) where they had a good write up so I thought I would try them. They arrived yesterday, packet says the main ingredient is magnesium, just like all the best horse calmers! I tried them for the first time today, as I've been having some mounting problems with my 5 year old which were getting worse because I was getting tense and anxious, and although it's early days, I am sure I felt much more chilled and relaxed today! I got them off ebay if you are interested, no minimum order whereas you would have to buy 200 if you got them from Equimins.
 
I would give yourself a go with a different instructor... not to change, just for a change if that makes sense??? You would have to think things through a bit differently with someone else, and get a second perspective on Pidge. Two is always better than one in my opinion
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What about a lesson with another horse/rider taking part so its not so much all about you and Pidge and you get a chance to have a breather?
 
Pidge I have decided I have totally forgotten how to ride - well, not entirely, I know what I am doing wrong, what I need to be doing, and what one needs to do to achieve it - however I just cannot get there
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Am seriously thinking of giving the whole show up TBH. For you I would say back off yourself and have some fun
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Have alesson with somemone new for a new perspective. Are you in a RC? Go out n have some fun lessons / rallies in a group.

Also holland and Barratt do a good calming tablet- their own brand. Supposed to have 2 so I thought have 4 to completely chill me b4 youngster's 1st dressage + rescue remedy. I don't really suffer with nerves but that day I was floating. Did ok in dressage though (Youngster was a complete nutter - now stressing someone else out!!!)
 
Are your lessons in the same place as where you ride every day?

I'm having a similar prob in that Adrian is laid back / sluggish at home, but in lessons which are on a 'faster' surface, he's a total t**t. I get so frustrated cos in lessons I'm having to cope with a whole set of probs which simply don't happen at home.
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I too want to show my instructor what we've 'achieved'... but when I get there he spends the entire lesson making me look like a total muppet.
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No idea what the answer is cos if I knew I'd be doing it myself...
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she does and its she who worked out how sensitive Pidge is and the fact he goes to pieces when I'm negative voice commands or get tense
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It's just so hard not to get tense when he doesn't do things right
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I know your right we have both improved so much its just so frustrating when things don't go to plan
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am I being too hard on myself?

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Horse's rarely go according to plan. Lay off beating yourself up and remember how far you've come togehter
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Well done a lot of thinking last night, come to the conclusion I can’t ride to save my life, I’m too hard on myself as I want everything to go well and when it doesn’t I let my emotions get to me – which is so not good when riding, I must have been mad to think I could ever do dressage on Pidge, don’t even know why I’ve got him as he is far to good for me, I suppose I’m still really upset about the jump saddle that didn’t fit and was hurting his back, and the dressage saddle that wasn’t letting him work properly either – fed up of trying to do the right thing by him and actually doing the exact opposite. He doesn’t deserve this he deserves to be cared for by someone who notices the little things he tells me that something is wrong, whereas I’ve just ignored them. He’s so honest and just puts up with these things whereas other horses would be bucking and rearing etc…….
Tass – thanks for this will go and have a look at these, can’t believe I get so worked up about getting it right riding wise!
Becki – Problem is Pidge isn’t really doing anything wrong, its how I deal with it when he doesn’t behave 100%, if he leans on the left rein I pull and then we just pull against each other, if he goes to fast and doesn’t want to stop when I ask him to I pull him to a halt and then he stresses. I know what I’m doing wrong I just don’t seem to be able to do anything about it. I so want to do well in my lessons and show my instructor what he can do but it just has a tendency to go to pot!
Bess – I share the lesson with my sister so we have the odd breather anyway.
Weezy – that’s exactly how I feel at the moment, I’d been looking forward to having a good year with Pidge and then after having the flair put in his dressage saddle I was actually looking forward to doing walk and trot dressage and eventually a prelim or two. Then when he went lovely on Sunday at canter I thought oh I can do a prelim in say a couple of months and there are some ODE locally that I could have a go at. Then after last night I feel like doing nothing, just so dispirited.
Lzt – I know you and Weezy are right, but how can I have fun when he canters at high speed inside out and neck in the air? I hadn’t realised how much I didn’t enjoy schooling him until he went properly and I realised how much I was looking forward to riding him as there was no battles anymore. Until the nights get lighter I can’t hack unless at a weekend due to working full time.
PP – thanks will ask mum to pick me up some from town, do they really work?
Catembi – That’s exactly the same as me, I feel like I could do with my instructor there but not teaching me and perhaps say letting me do it on my own and then me asking for help when needed? She also said last night how fit he was, for example there is not an ounce of fat on him and his hindquarters are rock solid, can he be too fit? He didn’t sweat when we went to Somerford on Saturday and we were out for 2 hours and jumped lots of fences up to 3’ in height?
Xcalicox – I know that’s what I should be doing but its so hard, When I look back to a month ago I was schooling purely in the harbridge and he was still tense and fighting and now he schools without them and is generally lovely and soft and round in walk and trot and we’ve worked hard on the canter. Wish there was a quick fix to make me concentrate on the positives.
 
Ok, first of all, he's not too good for you, and you are fantastic for him. If he puts up with a lot, and doesn't let you know when things are uncomfy, how are you supposed to know? You're not a mind reader, and from what I've read on here you and Pidge are well suited!

My lesson on Monday was similar. I concentrate on the negatives a lot, and my RI spent a lot of time this week telling me what was really good so I could appreciate the improvements.
My cantering is atrocious, crooked and no where near able to do a 20m circle at the moment. We don't gallop though, just keep breaking into trot.
At least you are now aware of what you are doing wrong. This is the first stage to being able to correct them. Maybe try repeating them to yourself when you're schooling on your own so that you keep them in the front of your mind.

Maybe think of it as not battles with him, but resistance. You're asking him to go correctly, and it's probably alien to him, and so he's saying no. As he gets more flexible he'll find it easier and start saying yes occasionally. Things normally get worse before they start to improve!

When you start to feel tense and upset in the lesson can you stop straightaway rather than carrying on? I'm sure if you explain all of this to your RI she'll come up with some coping strategies for you both.
 
thanks, would it be an idea to stop feeling sorry for myself and perhaps have some one on one lessons with my instructor and perhaps focus on me rather than Pidge?
Thank you for saying we are well suited, it didn't feel like it last night, but then thought of us flying over the double of steeplechase fences at 3' each and me riding him in the dressage saddle
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and it seems so right
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That sounds like a very good idea. I think sometimes we get so tied up in making sure our horses are improving and going well that we forget about ourselves.

If he goes on the lunge, then why not get a couple of half hour lunge lessons where you concentrate solely on your position and sanity?

I had 2 lessons for a while, one on Meg working on her issues, then straight afterwards on Chloe where I worked more on my issues, and it was really helpful (but knackering!). I'm twisted in my shoulders and hips, and after months (ok, years!) of my RI nagging me, I'm only just able to preempt her 'straighten up' comments.
 
Oh Sue you need a slap women!
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You really are your worst enemy!

Pidge and you are very well suited to each other, he trusts you!!!!!
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Yes, you have had some set backs, but you have also come a long way in a short space of time!

You need to stop being so hard on yourself!

If things didn't go wrong in lessons for us, what would we have to improve on?

Take a step back and have a look at what you have achieved!

Would you have jumped 3ft steeplechase fences (in a dressage saddle) a year ago?

Would Pidge have worked in a outline, would he have been correct on both reins in 3 paces, would he have been straight, would he have been able to work long and low 6 months ago???? The answer is NO!!!!!!!!!

So who has been doing the work on him, where have all his and your improvements come from???? Answer............ YOU!!!!

Have a chat to B about your lesson, and discuss what went wrong, how to avoid yourself getting upset and how to correct your anxieties when you feel them taking hold. I think you need to have a feel good lesson. Have a play in areas that you are comfortable with. When you are both settled and comfortable ask Pidge a couple of questions. If they go well carry on, if not come back to your comfort zone, play again and then take it from there.

I know this is all very easy to say sat on my sofa, especially as I need to call Caroline and get my lessons kick started again! (eeeek) But, I know you can do it and have every faith in you!!!
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You just need to find that faith in yourself!

Come and watch one of my lessons and you will have a good laugh and feel much better!
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consider myself suitably slapped
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And yes everything you've said makes perfect sense, just need to focus on the positives then
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when are you booking your next lesson?
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when are you booking your next lesson?
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Dam, did I really type out loud about getting back to my lessons?
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Any time soon I guess. Things have eased off a bit for Caroline now, as she has been doing some of the hunt horses and has been looking after a friends yard too.

I just need to not look quite as crap as normal in a saddle! I might even try this week! lol
 
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