Got to love it when...

Obviously it bothers them enough to mention it - maybe clear the air? The fact that they have left and not and not spoke to you directly probably indicates that they find you unapproachable. Judging by the tone of your post I can see why... Be the better person and sort the issue.

Edited - notes? Liveries? If there are multiple notes maybe there really is an issue and it is you, not them?
 
One of ours did this to me once, I spoke to YO who told me that what it said was bull (it said he'd said I had to move something) so I just ripped it up and put it back on her tack box 😁
 
EQUIDAE said:
Obviously it bothers them enough to mention it - maybe clear the air? The fact that they have left and not and not spoke to you directly probably indicates that they find you unapproachable. Judging by the tone of your post I can see why... Be the better person and sort the issue.

Edited - notes? Liveries? If there are multiple notes maybe there really is an issue and it is you, not them?
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Thanks for your support it really means a lot.
 
I've deleted the post as I didn't come here for further passive aggression from the likes of Equidae. I came here because it was unreasonable and I thought it would be nice to hear from others with same experience of livery yards. Never mind! Shouldn't have expected any form of support from H&H forum.
 
I completely agree with your sentiments!

A note left when there are other means to contact you and you've seen each other face to face annoys me too. Hence why I did the above (said note was not a politely written letter addressing any concerns. It was 'X has said you have to move XY&Z from beside you stable to your feed area' and I knew it was a lie).

I think it really on how it's written that makes the difference.
 
lewis2015 said:
I've deleted the post as I didn't come here for further passive aggression from the likes of Equidae. I came here because it was unreasonable and I thought it would be nice to hear from others with same experience of livery yards. Never mind! Shouldn't have expected any form of support from H&H forum.
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Wow just wow. No wonder they didn't want to approach you. You're first plan of defence is attack... Have a look at how you respond to people - it could make your life much easier.

Etidied - there's nothing passive aggressive about my post. It is direct and frank. Just because you don't agree with it doesn't make it passive aggressive. Maybe the notes weren't passive aggressive either, maybe they were just a form of communication that you have took a dislike to.

They could have just bitched behind your back like you are doing to them...
 
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EQUIDAE said:
Wow just wow. No wonder they didn't want to approach you. You're first plan of defence is attack... Have a look at how you respond to people - it could make your life much easier.

Etidied - there's nothing passive aggressive about my post. It is direct and frank. Just because you don't agree with it doesn't make it passive aggressive. Maybe the notes weren't passive aggressive either, maybe they were just a form of communication that you have took a dislike to.

They could have just bitched behind your back like you are doing to them...
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Wow. Just wow. Thanks so much Equidae. I really don't know how I lived to the age of 32 without your life advice :) You really should consider becoming a professional counsellor. Your unrivaled skills of being able to psycho analyse a person from a few lines posted on an online forum are wow. Just wow.

And wow. Just wow. No doubt this will be further proof of my obtuse and uncommunicative nature. I mean wow. Just wow - you've made me realise why people cower in the corner weeping when I arrive at the yard. I can't thank you enough. Really. Just wow. :)
 
The Fuzzy Furry said:
OP & Equidae, if you know each other, then take it off line - please?
I haven't seen the 1st post, as its deleted now, but it seems you 2 have history?
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No, none. Equidae just decided I'm a cow because I don't like being left notes by people at my yard. And I agree this thread is now pointless, I just wanted to congratulate Equidae on their incisive psychoanalysis skills. 'From this moment, I shall speak no more.' Just like reading passive aggressive notes, people don't have time to read this crap.
 
The OP really is quite aggressive and I can see why people leave notes rather than approach them.


TFF - no we don't know each other. Seems I have hit a nerve though - maybe I'm not the first one to tell them their attitude stinks?

IME notes tend to be left when the recipient is unapproachable - people don't know how to deal with them so leave a note.

It would be interesting to know what the notes said - to see whether they were unreasonable or not...
 
EQUIDAE said:
The OP really is quite aggressive and I can see why people leave notes rather than approach them.


TFF - no we don't know each other. Seems I have hit a nerve though - maybe I'm not the first one to tell them their attitude stinks?

IME notes tend to be left when the recipient is unapproachable - people don't know how to deal with them so leave a note.

It would be interesting to know what the notes said - to see whether they were unreasonable or not...
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My attitude 'stinks' towards you because you read one post I wrote and asserted I am' unapproachable' and 'it's probably you not them.' How can you POSSIBLY know these things? Yes, it angered me because it's an absolutely ridiculous and unfair assumption. And what would possess you to kick someone when they are already down, other than intentional malevolence?

FYI, the note was a moan about me apparently not leaving enough of the shared hay for the others. The fact being, I did my nets yesterday morning when there was plenty of hay left. I also used some of my own bale which I save for 'emergencies' as I knew there wasn't a delivery until today and didn't want to use it all and leave others short. The person who wrote the note orders the delivery and told us a delivery was coming today. It didn't arrive so she didn't have enough hay and mine did. She left the note to take it out on me that her delivery had not arrived. As I said, I saw her this morning when there was already none left - if she had said then 'I've messed up, the hay won't come on time can I have some out of the nets you've already made for your horse' I wouldn't have hesitated. Likewise, if she'd text me this afternoon to say the same, I would also have given her some from my nets. But she didn't ask, she just left a passive aggressive note.
 
EQUIDAE said:
IME notes tend to be left when the recipient is unapproachable - people don't know how to deal with them so leave a note
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This whole thread should be got rid of. However, not to play devils advocate, but I don't agree with this as a definitive reason as to why notes may be left. Perhaps the author of the note can't handle confrontation at all - OP may be perfectly lovely and friendly and it is the author of the note that has an issue.

OP please don't be put off by engaging in the forum further, there are plenty of people on here that I'm sure would be able to offer advice and help for anything you wanted to know.

In general, in life you can't please everyone and you won't be everyone's cup of tea, but that's fine.
 
LHIS said:
This whole thread should be got rid of. However, not to play devils advocate, but I don't agree with this as a definitive reason as to why notes may be left. Perhaps the author of the note can't handle confrontation at all - OP may be perfectly lovely and friendly and it is the author of the note that has an issue.

OP please don't be put off by engaging in the forum further, there are plenty of people on here that I'm sure would be able to offer advice and help for anything you wanted to know.

In general, in life you can't please everyone and you won't be everyone's cup of tea, but that's fine.
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Thank you. Yes, I am 'lovely and friendly' towards them as I am the newbie and I don't like bitchy yards. However, it seems that this makes me appear weak and is a reason they think they can pick on me. It appears the ones who get their own way on my yard are the loudmouth types as no one dares challenge them. Just wasn't very happy about this as I am a grown woman not a child. But ho hum - thread is pointless now as I deleted the OP for fear of getting more kickings from Equidae et al!
 
Playing the devils advocate here - how would you have felt if it was another livery stockpiling hay the day before when it was clear that hay was running short?

The problem is with the person ordering the hay - they didn't do their job properly. But if you knew that it was running short, why didn't you just share it out with those who had none? If you have your own emergency supply couldn't you have used that rather than leaving others without? I know that it isn't your fault that the hay order didn't arrive and you shouldn't have been put in that situation.

Try not to be so defensive - the OP was defensive and now you are claiming I am kicking you when you are down. It's all a tad dramatic...

This is the reason I don't do livery yards - I tend to speak my mind and it seems that is liked even less than leaving passive aggressive notes.

If I was in your position (as a new person) I would probably have curried favours and offered to share my hay so that noone went without.
 
EQUIDAE said:
Playing the devils advocate here - how would you have felt if it was another livery stockpiling hay the day before when it was clear that hay was running short?

The problem is with the person ordering the hay - they didn't do their job properly. But if you knew that it was running short, why didn't you just share it out with those who had none? If you have your own emergency supply couldn't you have used that rather than leaving others without? I know that it isn't your fault that the hay order didn't arrive and you shouldn't have been put in that situation.

Try not to be so defensive - the OP was defensive and now you are claiming I am kicking you when you are down. It's all a tad dramatic...

This is the reason I don't do livery yards - I tend to speak my mind and it seems that is liked even less than leaving passive aggressive notes.

If I was in your position (as a new person) I would probably have curried favours and offered to share my hay so that noone went without.
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I don't think you understand my post. I didn't 'stockpile' hay. I made one net from the shared and one net from my own when there was plenty left. The person who used it all before others got any was clearly someone else, but I got blamed. I don't live there so I don't know who does and doesn't have enough nets as I don't monitor who has done their nets. I'm not going to randomly offer hay to people when I don't know that they need hay. I also always do my nets in advance as my sharer goes to bring my horse in and she has her baby in the car so I do everything in advance so she doesn't have to leave the baby for longer than necessary.

I also don't need your patronising advice about 'not being so defensive.' I will defend myself against those who don't know a situation and accuse me of being in the wrong.

To be honest, your special brand of being an a**e has made me feel worse than the original incident so I don't intend to interact with you any further :)
 
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flirtygerty said:
OP, if you didn't want opinions, why post, very strange
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You didn't read the original post :) I didn't post with the question 'Am I a k**b head or not?' lol - I posted asking if anyone else wanted to vent about receiving petty notes at the yard. More of a '*sigh* aren't some people petty' post than a 'please please please am I in the wrong?' post. In hindsight I shouldn't have bothered, but there's only so much moaning about childish yard people that my non-horsey OH can take. Let's call it Sunday night procrastination :D I sincerely apologise for posting and won't let it happen again!
 
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I would have liked to have read the original post but cannot comment on it specifically now. :)

I am afraid encountering differing opinions is the risk that comes with posting on a very public forum. It happens to everyone who posts, I am sure. Without taking sides, as I know neither poster, it is perfectly possible to graciously ignore the bits you don't agree with without escalating into name-calling. I didn't read the initial comment as an attack at all.

As for leaving notes on the yard as opposed to speaking with each other; perhaps the person who left the note, instead of being passive aggressive, thought it would be less confrontational and less awkward for you both? Some people are shy and will avoid argument though I agree direct communication is always best as it avoids confusion.
 
Maybe we should just let the thread die now - it really is all rather uninteresting. I wasn't posting to get people's advice on how to communicate with people on my yard and still do not require that advice now :) It was intended as a bit of a moan about an annoying situation and I deleted it as H&H fracas are cringe-inducing and I didn't particularly want a good old-fashioned hatchet job, which seems to be happening now anyway. I'm not going to reply anymore and I hope that others are as bored of this as me.
 
The only one causing a fracas is you.

Got to love it when... People bitch about others behind their backs rather than addressing the matter directly. Even more ironic when they are moaning about people not saying things to their own face.

Just man up and have a word with them rather than getting all worked up about it. Is it really worth it?

Lets hope that none of the liveries in question are on this thread - that could be awkward

Edit - I guess what I am trying (not very well) to say is that you may not like how they delivered the message but at least they delivered it. They didn't just not say anything and bitch behind your back like you are doing to them. I would rather be on a yard with a note-leaver than someone who bitches behind my back.
 
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