Green rider looking for all and any advice

[Kayro]

Hello all, first time poster but a long time horse enthusiast!

I'm very new to the horse-scene. I'm 19 and am only just starting to ride properly (I already feel to be at a huge disadvantage because of how late I've started and seeing all these really amazing younger riders is somewhat disheartening). I've had 5 lessons so far, 45 minutes each, so a tiny amount of riding under my belt so far. That being said, I'd love some advice from more knowledgeable riders and perhaps some questions answered that I've got, if you're able to

I hear an awful lot of 'put your weight into your heel' and 'don't tense but use your muscles' and I'm struggling to wrap my head around it. I'm guessing it's something that will come with more experience, but how do I know if I'm putting my weight into my heel? Is it something I feel, and does anyone have any tips on how I do it?

Another thing that I reckon will come as I get better is keeping my bum in that saddle. We practised sitting trot with no stirrups and it was so much easier to keep in the saddle then because more of my weight was in my legs. However, as soon as I got my stirrups back, I went straight back up bumping around in as graceful of a manner as I could manage. Can anyone explain this, please?

Confidence is another thing I'd like advice on. I love horses, but I'm the most nervous person ever. All I want to do is be around horses but, recently, I've been literally shaking before I get on. Once I get on I'm a lot better, but I worry I'm giving the wrong body language to the horse I ride. He's a gentle enough soul, very willing to put up with my riding, but my last lesson was a group one and so while we were standing around waiting he shoved me with his head. He did this a couple of times and I've chalked it down to him being impatient to get riding, but I've also read that this is negative behaviour I shouldn't allow. How would I go about curbing this?

This post is getting long enough as it is (kudos if you've made it this far, honestly) but I want to add a couple more thing I'd like some help with. I'm as light as a feather and so I want to know if weight makes a major difference in riding? I'm worried I just don't have the weight behind me to actually keep myself in the saddle much.

Last thing to do with keeping in the saddle; how do you all relax? The aforementioned exercise was surprisingly alright for me, but on the second go around I tensed just a little because I bounced and then I was off again like a sack of potatoes. I'm finding it very difficult to relax whilst I bounce around on a horse, because every bump back into the saddle tends to cause me to instinctively tense up and it's hard to get myself back out of the mindset unless I stop completely and then try again.

That's it for my huge post - thank you for making it this far if you did, I have a tendency to ramble a lot and I don't have anyone irl, aside from maybe my instructor, that I can ask all these questions to

 

[D66]

You have to soften your spine so that you absorb the bounce through your body to avoid being bounced out of the saddle. It will come with practice.
I wouldn’t worry about feeling scared before you ride,so long as you feel great at the end of the lesson! Fear and excitement are the same physical experience, just seen through positive and negative emotion.

 

[scats]

Over time, you will learn to absorb the movement of the horse, rather than tense against it.

As for the weight into the heels, this is actually very old fashioned and not usually the way it’s taught now, as telling people to do this often means they end up with their legs shooting out in front of them.
Keep you feet light in the stirrups, and just ensure that your heel either stays in line with the rest of you foot (ie definitely no higher than your toes), or a fraction lower.

 

[Ambers Echo]

Welcome to the forum. I have learned over the years that the ONLY way to learn to ride is to ride. And the only way to improve an issue is with eyes on the ground. I have read any number of book on how to ride and they just don't help much because you can't feel/see what is really happening. All advice is wrong at the wrong time: sitting up is a fairly un-controversial piece of advice as most riders lean back or tip forward but actually I sat up too much and had to learn to round my shoulders more.

So I would ask your instructors all the questions you are asking the forum.

As for age - don't worry about it! Yes these kids are amazing but plenty of us learnt to ride as adults and as you can ride into your 80s (or even 90s if the queen is anything to go by) you have plenty of time!

Re the nudging thing. I really would not worry too much about what it means. He could have an itchy head, he could be impatient, it could be habitual. Unless he is your horse, it is not really for you to correct and you also need to have the time and space to address it. If you want to try - and do have the time - you would need to teach him to stand in his own space and respect your personal space. But you'd actually have to take the time to teach this over a couple of groundwork/handling sessions. Just reprimanding him at the time won't really achieve anything. So if you don't like it I'd just block his head with your hand if he swings it towards you or move out of range yourself.

 

[Chuffy99]

If your riding school does private lessons on the lunge and your instructor is good this can be a worthwhile investment as you can concentrate on your position and not worry about controlling the horse

 

[SpringArising]

It's totally normal for you to feel nervous at this stage - or any! Even pros get nervous. Everything is still super new to you.

Sitting trot can be a ****** to master, and I wouldn't expect anyone to have it down after a few lessons. Make sure your stirrups are the right length - not too short, but short enough that you can support your body through your heels.

D66's is good advice about softening in order to absorb the impact - I find sitting trot easiest and most comfortable when you think of yourself as becoming very fluid and relaxed, taking most of the impact into your heels and staying light in the saddle. Another technique is to use your core and think of yourself as lifting the horse through it with each step.

You probably look and feel like a sack of spuds doing it right now, but you won't always!

 

[Kayro]

Thank you all for the replies so far, they've been super helpful! I never thought about softening my spine (I'll need to work on that in my next lesson) and I'll have to enquire for a few more lunge lessons as well - I'm taking a lesson every week so I reckon a lunge lesson a month might benefit me slowly but surely

I'll also be sure to work on my stirrups. I've found that, even if the holes are both equal on either side, one leg feels shorter than the other and, once fixed, then feels longer than the other