Gutted having to find a sharer GRRR

grandmaweloveyou

grandmaweloveyou

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I am so cross with my (ex) sharer who took my bombproof boy (and I dont use that phrase lightly) on knowing he was safe, loving and occasionally strong (rare) without being dangerous but, not hot or fizzy, at all, ever. He looks like a plod but goes when asked.

Well she has been saying what a surprise it is, that he is so "speedy" in the school and that last week on one ride he felt "like a coiled spring, not unsafely so but raring to go" so why has she said that she needs something "more forward" to share then?!!

I am so cross. I went out of my way organising riding partners to show her the area, a riding instructor to come to the yard so she could work him out (my horse not the instructor haha) but she couldnt afford it, and I spent lots of time with her, helping, for her to bail out only 3 weeks later?

My horse is amazing, the sharer was even stopped by 3 people on 1 ride asking if it was him and saying to her that he is an wonderful horse and that they would be first in the queue to buy him if I ever (I wouldnt) let him go...blah blah blah, and yet she has stopped?

He is 14.3 although rides/feels bigger as is chunky. He hacks alone / in company, can go as slow as you like or like today enjoy wonderful gallops. He loves his jumping and his lessons. Everyone I ride with says how he surprises them as they expect him to be slow but he, when ridden well, is forward and responsive.

What more does a person want? We have a floodlit school, the yard is on her way to work. I told her she didnt even need to do any of the chores as I drive past twice a day and am happy to do everything for her but I need someone to ride him for me (health reasons, mine not his).

Rant over. So now I am really despondent about looking again. I am loving having him to myself, we had a lesson Friday, hacked Saturday, day off Sunday, schooled Monday, hacked today.....but I cannot physically keep up this pace. Do I start again?

I need some words of encouragement please and thanks.

Everyone who knows him has been so lovely saying that the sharer will never get such a perfect pony and is mad but that doesnt help me right now. I felt so sorry for him the next morning, he followed me around the field nuzzling me and I thought, gosh you deserve to be loved.

Hmmmm. Rant now definitely over. Sorry!
 
Don't worry, we've been through the same lately with owners' other mare.

I share her horse and have done for the past 6-7 years I think (through laminitis, Cushings, box rest been such a long haul!) and I can't imagine not being able to share her now!
You will find a lovely sharer who's right for him!! There are some good'uns out there ;)
K x
 
Can I ask why do you need a sharer, you seem to love your horse dearly, I would hazard a guess that the sharer you had was scared of him, just didn't want to admit it.
 
I must admit I dread doing the rounds with potential sharers. I've had quite a few over the years, from an older woman who wanted a quiet hack and then viciously used stick, spurs etc to force my old 30 year old into galloping over a set of xc jumps to a 12 year old girl whom I thought would be a disaster who actually turned out to be tim best of the lot.

I've found the best thing to do is be utterly honest about exactly what your horse is like and sometimes it's worth seeing people you don't think will be up to it.

I really wish I could get my nice 12 year old back but we've moved areas so there's no chance at all.

Good luck, and don't despair, there really are nice people out there. :) x
 
I think this women has lost out on a good horse! more fool her...
Don`t despair, you will find someone better who will appreciate him!
good luck x
 
scared of him? she had been riding a real hottie beforehand. she is used to dealing with elephants in her old job so i dont think much would scare her. she is a very capable rider and you dont need to be for him, he used to give lessons to children and people that hadnt ridden for years, is doing so tomorrow in fact. so nope definitely not scared of him. she just wants to "enjoy the countryside, have the odd lesson & school occasionally" which is all i do with him.

i guess he just isnt forward enough for her, but i was miffed only from her previous comments about his speediness.

sorry i thought i explained in op that i need a sharer for health reasons (mine). sadly i can often spend 2 or 3 days in a row in bed. i always always see him though, its him that gets me up, but cant physically manage the amount of riding that he needs, although i am doing ok at the moment, i wont last.

yes i do love him dearly, he has given me 5 years of complete honestly and the imstructors always say the same thing, he wouldnt put me in any danger and just wants to look after me so who wouldnt love him darly? i think thats whats riled me.

i am not cross, just upset i think and shouldnt post a rant online but today, ive left it nearly a week, i thought it might help to have some kind words.
 
thanks. i turned away sooo many people as i spelt everything out and was straight down the line. i dont even invite them to the yard until i am sure. i think thats whats guiled me as well. the thought of doing it all again though. groan. i know the right person will come up, ive had 2 amazing sharers that have been with him for such a long time and stopped only through me moving yard the first time and their parents moving house the second time so i should just think back!
 
there's some great sharers out there, don't be worried :)

Just a tip, don't rule out under 18/16's I'm 16 and my owner said she wouldn't be without me :)
 
He just sounds like he wasn't the horse for her...

If it makes you feel any better, I can't even get people who say they are desperate to work with horses over the summer (equine students) to reliably turn up and ride my two when I'm paying them! People are so flakey nowadays!
 
Wouldn't worry too much I've had a couple of sharers, one was lovely but just lacked time and the other was a disaster. Just keep on looking through the hay you'll find that needle eventually! :)
 
You will find someone else! Have faith don't worry.
You horse sounds absolutely lovely and there will be a lucky person out there that will love him as much as you do, just frustrating when people don't stick around!
Keep looking x
 
It's possible she just didn't click with him, and this was just the easiest reason - these things happen, but with such a super horse you WILL find a good sharer. You've found good ones before, and there will be lots more out there :)

At least she told you and didn't just stop coming, or start getting unreliable. It just sounds like it didn't work out, just as can happen in any relationship.
 
You will find someone else, but don't rule out the teenagers. I couldn't find a single sensible adult to share my fantastic boy who like yours is bombproof but has a bit of 'go' in him. Even though he can be a bit opinionated, I found a super girl who is only 14 but is just great with my horse - calm, patient and unflappable but also persistent. I had serious doubts about a teenager but once she got used to the early mornings she has been a godsend.
 
I've had a few sharers over the years, good and bad. I think it takes time to find someone suitable though. Good luck in your hunt.
 
If she was only riding him for three weeks and there are other horses around to share then it's just life I guess. I'm sure you will find another sharer who loves him! It's like buying a horse, if you have a wide choice (which to me seems rare with sharing) then you can't really be expected to explain why you don't want to continue...

Were you asking a financial contribution? I have seen shares for free and considered ditching the one I have to pay for, but I like her too much :-) shame I am buying soon and hope the owner isn't going to be as upset as you are :-/

I agree about teenagers, give 'em a chance bless them. They are the ones who will be just dying to hang out with a horse and riding will be a bonus!

Hope you find someone who loves him like you do :-)
 
Im looking for a sharer too, bit of a minefield though,had someone who I thought would be ideal,older,experienced keen etc but when she came to ride my horse she bullied her and annoyed her which being a chestnut mare was not the thing to do! upset both of us so wont be invited back.I have a couple of teenagers to see and reading on here they may be more suitable! goodluck with your search too.
 
Theocat said:
It's possible she just didn't click with him, and this was just the easiest reason - these things happen, but with such a super horse you WILL find a good sharer. You've found good ones before, and there will be lots more out there :)

At least she told you and didn't just stop coming, or start getting unreliable. It just sounds like it didn't work out, just as can happen in any relationship.
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Yes they just didnt click. You are absolutely right and I should not have ranted on here. I wasnt ranting about the person, she did a fab job albet briefly and really cared for him, I was ranting about the situation.
 
mandwhy said:
If she was only riding him for three weeks and there are other horses around to share then it's just life I guess. I'm sure you will find another sharer who loves him! It's like buying a horse, if you have a wide choice (which to me seems rare with sharing) then you can't really be expected to explain why you don't want to continue...

Were you asking a financial contribution? I have seen shares for free and considered ditching the one I have to pay for, but I like her too much :-) shame I am buying soon and hope the owner isn't going to be as upset as you are :-/

I agree about teenagers, give 'em a chance bless them. They are the ones who will be just dying to hang out with a horse and riding will be a bonus!

Hope you find someone who loves him like you do :-)
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Funny you say that about the money. A friend of mine has ditched a share to move to a free one because she believes she should be paid to exercise our horses as she is doing us a favour!! Hmm if that was the case noone would own a horse!

Thanks everyone I shall do a couple of adverts today and get on the case.

Yes will consider a teenager, both my last brilliant sharers were younger at 15 and 17.
 
TChamp said:
Funny you say that about the money. A friend of mine has ditched a share to move to a free one because she believes she should be paid to exercise our horses as she is doing us a favour!! Hmm if that was the case noone would own a horse!

Thanks everyone I shall do a couple of adverts today and get on the case.

Yes will consider a teenager, both my last brilliant sharers were younger at 15 and 17.
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It's a funny divide though, because I found when in the Midlands, people did think like that and where I expected to pay for a share (originally I was from Surrey), people up there expected to pay me or let me ride for free! Sharing I know is nation wide but does seem to be more of a South thing to charge for sharing a horse!
 
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