Handling confidence dips

Chippers1

Chippers1

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I recently posted in the Tack room about how proud I was of how gar my pony and I had come over the last few months (thread here: https://forums.horseandhound.co.uk/threads/just-a-proud-thread.767513/). We've been going from strength to strength and really been getting our confidence up, I even took him schooling over a course of show jumps the other day that ranged in height from 80cm to 95cm! I never would've done this even 3 months ago.
Now to my point! I went xc schooling on Saturday and unfortunately we slightly misjudged a solid elongated square shaped jump and he skidded into it and gave himself quite a scare. I then wasn't able to get him over any other jump first time, took 2 or 3 attempts (not too big) so I finished on a little log pile (which he jumed first time).

I decided to do some jumping last night to check he was ok and we had some more run outs :( i'm so disappointed with myself as they were totally my fault getting nervous a few strides out and i'm one of those people that really beat myself up about things that I perceive as wrong. I can not fault my horse one bit as I know he needs a lot of confidence to jump from me and i'm so worried I've pushed us back away from where we've been doing :( I will take it slowly again but I now can't get it out of my head that we may lose what we had and that I've ruined him! I've worked so hard on the run out and confidence issue, i'm just feeling so down about it.

I guess there's not much more to my post rather than having a moan but does anyone have any similar stories? How long did you take to build yourself back up? confidence issues are so awful.

I can share some xc photos from before the incident once I have them on my computer :)
 
You need to get a good instructor out ASAP who will help you both and give you both a much needed confidence boost. You also need to put a spin on this in your head and take all the positives from recently and focus on them .. you got to fake it to make it so stick with it and only think positive thoughts. I think we have all been where you are now and its not nice BUT you will get over this and be back to those amazing photos, you both look awesome. Good instructor, positive thinking .. GO :)
 
Don't be so hard on yourself!

You look great in those photos together - focus on the positive and how far you had come in such a short space of time! Don't focus on the one time it went wrong focus on all the times it went right.

I would also recommend getting a good supportive instructor too, sometimes you just need someone else to tell you "you CAN do it!"
 
As someone who always seems to be having a confidence blip, I feel your pain! My top tips;

Use a neck strap. Not a magic wand, more like a helping hand. Feeling a bit iffy coming into a jump? Leg on and grab your strap - your legs are saying 'GO!' without your hands giving your true feelings away!

Going back to some smaller jumps for a while isn't a failure or a step backwards. It will give you AND your horse confidence in each other again and help you find your rhythm. Along with this, gridwork - because you can put the last one way up without anyone realising until you're over it lol. Amazing for confidence building!

Don't beat yourself up. These blips are perfectly normal. When I'm having a wobble, looking back on photos (like the ones you've shared above!) really help me get back to that moment where it was all going well; try to tap into those feelings. A good reminder that you CAN do it! Look how fantastic your photos are! You're doing a great job :)

Agree with getting a good supportive instructor. It's so important. I wouldn't be able to do any of the things I do without my amazing coach! She helps me tap in to my own self belief which is vital.
 
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Thank you everyone :) I think getting a lesson is probably a good idea! I definitely need to focus on the positives and think of how well we've been doing, confidence is such a fragile thing. I do love a bit of gridwork so will also be doing that!
 
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You sound so similar to me!! I’ve been there and I suspect I will again. I do feel like I’ve finally got over our last confidence blip but it’s taken me longer than I thought (over 6 months but I may just be slow!) and a lot of effort and commitment, plus lots of help.

Agree with all of the above, it’s great advice. I changed instructor, dropped down in height, had more regular jumping lessons, got a sports coach - sounds like a lot but it’s what I needed/wanted. We’re still working on stuff but in a far more positive way and I’m really hoping it will put us in a stronger position for any future blips.

Those pics are brilliant, well done.
 
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Yes I'm hoping that I'll be able to come back from blips quicker, think I'll drop down the height as well. I have a comp on Sunday but it's small and at a venue I've been to loads so hopefully that'll give us a boost, especially because I'm super competitive so hopefully that will take over the nerves!

On a plus side he did his first ever flying change yesterday!! Only on one rein but without a pole or anything. He's also doing walk to canter translations perfectly, considering when I bought him in 2017 I struggled to get him into canter it's a huge achievement and I'm so pleased with him 😁
 
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