Has anyone ever slapped anyone around the face with a wet fish?!

Fools Motto

Fools Motto

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Or a wet flannel, or anything!
I really need to do the above on my boss!! He's so un-boss like, it's unreal. He really really couldn't give a monkey;s uncle about any of the horses and ponies, and still, after well over a year doesn't know all the students, constantly makes shocking errors, and walks away, leaving us, the staff, (2 full time, 2 part time) to pick up the and repair the damage!! Never have I known anyone who needs a wet face slap more just to wake up and realise what he's doing (or not doing in most cases).
We've previously had a discussion as a team, about the requirement of a little first pony... the sort of hens teeth sort. Well, I had a call from a local ish lady, and her desire to loan out her first pony while her baby grows up. Too good an opportunity to miss! At least to view the pony and makes ones mind up. I forwarded on all the info, and the boss told me he'd contact the owner. That was Saturday. The owner has just contacted me, to say she hasn't heard from him, nor can get an answer. I feel so embarrassed!! Wasting her time. That is so normal for the boss, it's half term, he switches off from the world and gets busy doing ''his things''.
I know he's on borrowed time at work, has had many warnings, but still, he's there. No other equestrian establishment would have kept him. He's been called a spaniel before now, as he can't retain information!! lol
Anyone got a wet fish/flannel/sponge/bucket or anything useful in such a situation??
 
Sounds like you might be best off using a goldfish for the slapping, as aren't t they said to have a terrible memory too?

Can't say I have carried out that activity though. I have, however, woken up and smelt the coffee, and looked before I leapt, but never counted my chickens before they've hatched... :-)
 
I have said to someone (who I knew well) you need a good slap with a wet fish, for . . . and motioned mock slapping. But I've not tried it with any of my various bosses over the years . . .
 
not slapped a boss but my sister has had a few round the chops over the years! there are a few people I would like to slap but not sure I would be brave enough to actually do it but thinking about it feels pretty good.
 
Reacher said:
Poke in the eye with a sharp stick
(May be a north eastern expression)
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I learnt it as "poke in the eye with a pointed stick", that I turned into "point in the eye with a pokéd stick".

Another good one is "he needs beating with the wrong end of a ****** stick".

An old computing saying is "beat the user with a clue stick until he gets one" (i.e. until he gets a clue).
 
we had a thought about this at work once..............the slapping with a wet fish, there are a couple of things to consider

slightly annoyed by them..........sardine or minnow

eel would enable a complete wrap round but difficult to achieve as nothing much to hang on to

salmon.........good wack but would require strength

flat fish............better surface to face ratio

ideal............trot or mackerel in size, good tail to hold onto and also small enough to wack with

but....................if very peeved with the person a Japanese puffer fish with its spins out.............a bit poisonous and also good chance of embedding

but remember this is only in your head whilst talking to them and you are imaging it!

we did talk about the hag fish..........the one which can produce a bucket of slim but couldn't think of the technique needed to carryout the deed....... ;)
 
No but I live on the Yorkshire coast and just lately, with the north-easterly wind and the sea fog, every time I step out of the back door it is like being hit with a wet cod. Am sick of it, especially when everywhere else is roasting - even good old Scotland for heaven's sake!
 
antigone said:
No but I live on the Yorkshire coast and just lately, with the north-easterly wind and the sea fog, every time I step out of the back door it is like being hit with a wet cod. Am sick of it, especially when everywhere else is roasting - even good old Scotland for heaven's sake!
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It's not roasting here had torrential thunder all day yesterday and got it again tomorrow fields are under water and it's June in a few days time:(
 
Fools Motto said:
Flat fish it is!!
I'm really going to have to do it... just for the sheer joy of achievement!!
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