Has anyone experienced this

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Dizzie

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In January my TB who I had owned for 21 yrs died of old age and 3 weeks later our Friesian X (also veteran) followed suit and then we lost our Collie in the summer. All in all a pretty bad start to the year and beng in my mid 50's having been around horses since childhood, I wondered what it would be like not to have them around. As it turned out I was really miserable and now have two TB's ages 6 and 7. When I had my TB; who had been professionally trained as a SJ horse, we did loads of SJ competing both affiliated and unaffiliated but as he got older of course he was unable to do so much, until eventually he was semi-retired and used for light hacking. I am fortunate enough to be naturally of athletic build and reasonably fit and so thought it would be great to have one last crack at SJ before I really am too much of a fosil. However, although I am still my old self on the ground in handling (I have worked with horses in my lifetime inc. racers), I find that I am not so bold on the top and now wonder if it is just age or familiarity as in 21 years you get to know a horse very well and although he could be a sod with a nice line in rodeo I knew what to expect. This sounds pathetic I know but I am beginning to doubt if I should now be around horses and I wonder if any of you have experienced this and how you overcame the doubt and regained your confidence? If you can spare the time any constructive comments would be appreciated as it will break my heart to get rid of these two but they do need to be used.
 
I've not been in a similar situation before so I can't really comment from such an understanding point of view.. but it may be of benefit to you to get an instructor who will be sympathetic to your needs, and can consider things that will build up your and your horses' confidence levels.

Sorry to hear about the rough year you had, I hope things are back on track very soon.
 
I'm of a similar age to you. Personally I dont feel any less capable than I did 10 or 20 years ago. I would think its more to do with lack of familiarity, both with the new horses and competing. I know I find it more difficult to compete if I've had a break that perhaps I would have when younger.
If I were you I would play at a level below where you are comfortable with and keep the fun in it. Whne you are fed up of that and really want to go up a level do so. The big danger (guilty of it myself) is thinking you have a time limit of what you want to achieve. You dont so take your time and keep the enjoyment in and the pressure off. :D
 
I had this when I lost my old boy..... my mare wasn't my boy. it wasn't that she had done anything, it was that she wasn't the "saggy old cloth cat" that I was used to. It took me ages to get my head round that that was the problem. As soon as I got my head straight I can safely say we have now found our partnership and gone from strength to strength.

Your current horses will never replace your old horse, but give them a chance, take them for who they are and they will possibly take you in a different direction than you expect to go.

As the Sound of music song goes...... " lets start at the very begining, a very good place to start"
 
i think its to do losing a little bit of confidence in your abilities and the realisation that the ground isnt as bouncy anymore!
perhaps invest ina few lessons to get to know the new one and take it from there.
its perfectly normal to feel like this - dont worry xx
 
I am sure there are many many better positioned than me to give advice to your post, but I think you have hit the nail on the head. You knew your old horse so well you trusted each other and could anticipate his quirks. Likewise you need to get to trust and to understand your new horses warts and all and then you will feel comfortable with them.
It took me 2 years to really warm to and understand my mare and I think it is easy when you have just had the one horse for some time to underestimate the bond you build.
Age also makes you feel more vulnerable, well actually I believe that happens once you have children.

My advice would be get some help - do lots of fun ground work whether that be long reining or leading over poles, free schooling to voice to build your relationship, try new things like clicker training. I bought Fritz Stahleckers - In Hand work for Dressage Horses DVD and he is amazing - he teaches the horses everything including piaffe before it is ridden. Then once you are happy with your horses on the ground then start your ridden work and enjoy it. Just some ideas - sorry if you think they are cuckoo :D
 
Slightly different from your experience but I've lost a horse (due to health issues not age) every year since the beginning of 2008. Shiraz Feb 2008, Dinah Nov 2009, then Rocco a horse I sold July 09 died with his new owner 2mths later aged 8 and finally I lost my last mare June 2010 leaving me horseless for the first time in my life (although that lasted less than 8wks).

I'm not wording this very well but my point is don't underestimate the effect losing a horse can have on your confidence.

I've had my fair share of falls and injuries but it's never dented my confidence and I'm daft enough to clamber on almost anything. However I have found myself feeling less confident and I can only attribute that to losing my girls.

Every chance I'm barking up the wrong tree but you've also had to deal with a lot of loss within a short period of time and sometimes that leaves you questioning and doubting seemingly unrelated aspects of your life.

Remember it's supposed to be fun, try not to put pressure on yourself to be back where you were and appreciate the horses you have for who they are (I was bad for wishing my new, calm, fantastic gelding had more "character" and was more difficult like my mares - madness I know!). Take each day as it comes and try to enjoy the journey rather fixate on the destination.

Wishing you all the best for your futures together.
 
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When you say your horses need to be used, do you mean full-on competing or that they are better for doing work everyday?

I'm a similar age to you and I got meself a 2 yo Sec D when my dear old TB boy died so that I could have one last crack at bringing on a sparky youngster. She's 7 now - it's been great and she's an absolute delight but there have been times when I've thought I was crazy to even try it......I think it's quite a normal reaction.
One thing I have found is that I am certainly less bothered about competition than I was when younger, the good flip-side to that is that I have the time and patience to build some really solid foundations with the pony - we have lots of fun and have our moments as 'gymkhana kids' but there's no pressure. I ride nearly every day which helps the nerves a lot.
Enjoy your lovely new horses.
 
When you have a horse for that long (I had mine for 17 yrs - PTS in the spring this year) you build up an incredibly close relationship = so much so that I didn't realise how close until he died somehow..... Now that I have a new one (wasn't going to, but as you say, one last crack before I get too old) - you can't possibly trust them straight away! Nor, can they be expected to trust you. Just give it time - it's difficult to remember how long it took for the relationship with my last one to develop fully - it must have always been developing. I still cry for him.....
 
I know heaps of ladies coming back into riding or spending more time with horses at about your age, have an instructor, and maybe look at adult riding club, you just need some supportive and knowledgeable people around you and you will be fine. It is easy to doubt yourself, when on your own, and having others around will help you to keep progressing.
 
As others have said i am sure it is the familiarity that you are missing. It is something that builds over time without us noticing and if you are not one for having something new often you can forget what it is like to ride something you are not familiar with.

I've had my boy two years and at the mo he is out of action. Other people have offered me to ride their horses and it feels like I've lost my mojo! why? because they're not my boy ~ he is far from an angel but i know him!
 
I agree with the loss of a horse denting confidence in odd ways. The human brain is an odd creature and can do all sorts of pecuiar thinking, without you being aware of it! While it appears non of the losses were riding related, it is easy to be subconsiously worried about 'damaging' the new horses, the possibility of loosing them as well may be bubbling under the surface. We lost 3 horses in their prime from unrelated illnesses, over a period of about 7 years, as well as two 'old ladies' who went when their time was due. It does make you more wary and this can translate to riding fears. Take your time, get to know the new horses and remember that we are all mortal, but we might as well enjoy the time we have :)
 
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