has someone ever made you do something you wish you hadn't?

diggerbez

diggerbez

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haha- this is quite a dodgy thread title but i couldnt work out how to phrase it :o
i mean in lessons/ training etc with your horse...have you ever been asked to do something that you thought was a bad idea but done it anyway and then regretted it?
 
We had mastered leg yield and half pass with FH. He doesn't learn easily but once he does he never forgets but you have to take it slowly with him. Had a lesson with an instructor who was trying to get me to do shoulder in on FH and I knew it was too much, I told her this and she kept pushing and pushing so I agreed to just try it. Well FH just said "Mum, I really can't do it" and reared bolt upright and just stood there. Next thing I here is "get that bl@@dy horse on the floor now!" sure enough he came down nearly on top of her as she ran at him! :rolleyes: :o I turned and said I told you so. Dismounted and walked back to the box. Felt sorry for pone that I had made him do it knowing fully well what his reaction would be :( Safe to say we will not be going back ;)
 
yes. Only just begging to be able to ride with a schooling whip again aftr just under a year of trying to get him so he understands that hes not going to get a huge wack if he doesnt come off my leg !!!:mad:
 
I was made to ride in draw reins by two different instructors NOW I'M NOT SAYING THAT THEY ARE BAD but I was fourteen, had no idea what I was doing, neither did my mum and the horse (as current instructor has proven) is perfectly capable of going on the bit etc. I do regret it, I felt v. mean but horse didn't object, she is too perfect to be rude :)
 
Yup. Back in the day, I let myself get talked into trailering to a ODE in an acquaintance's ancient Rice trailer. To this day I'm not convinced the floor was sound and thank god we got there and back.

I think everyone regrets things they did when they were younger, the things you knew were a really bad idea but didn't have the confidence to speak up.

Interesting question OP - you? ;)
 
FleabittenT said:
Yup. Back in the day, I let myself get talked into trailering to a ODE in an acquaintance's ancient Rice trailer. To this day I'm not convinced the floor was sound and thank god we got there and back.

I think everyone regrets things they did when they were younger, the things you knew were a really bad idea but didn't have the confidence to speak up.

Interesting question OP - you? ;)
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yes...had an XC lesson on a camp when V was a proper baby- he was 4 but quite a backwards/wimpy 4- he had to stop and look at everything before deciding that things weren't going to eat him :rolleyes:
bearing in mind he'd only done a few little XC jumps trainer told me to jump owl hole on the course which he did but was VERY green through it...lots of pats for being such a good boy. she then told me to go through woods and jump other owl hole on way out (hadn't seen this myself so assumed would be ok)- came round corner and it was blooming massive! and had brush in it as well so not very inviting for green ponies! obviously he slammed on...then started grinding his teeth and wouldn't entertain jumping anything for the rest of the session (trainer was telling me to whack him, in the end i walked off) ...honestly thought that i'd wrecked my horse :(
 
When it comes to my ponies, the full force of my stubborness comes out and I rarely get pushed into doing something I don't think is a good idea. Unfortunately that doesn't stop me from doing plenty of idiotic things, I just don't have the luxury of saying it was someone else's idea! :o :D
 
Yes, went on an EHOA xc training day with a 'big name' instructor. I wish I had spoken up and said I thought some of the exercises were too much (I know my horse needs her blood up, like myself, to do some xc fences), but I felt too intimidated. I ended up with a horse whose confidence was very badly dented.
 
To get Micks head lower and get him to work from behind, I was told to lift hands, then saw, saw, saw quickly, kicking at the same time. Poor Mick, every time I lifted my hands he thought he was going to get kicked.
 
monkeymad said:
Yes, went on an EHOA xc training day with a 'big name' instructor. I wish I had spoken up and said I thought some of the exercises were too much (I know my horse needs her blood up, like myself, to do some xc fences), but I felt too intimidated. I ended up with a horse whose confidence was very badly dented.
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I suppose the really difficult thing is to know when you have been pushed too far and not.
I know I have done things on lesson that I was not wholly certain we'd achieve them but we did and then you get an enormous buzz that you did it and can do it and that is a huge confidence boost. I am actually best if pushed a bit.
However had I been pushed and not done it then I might well feel I had been overpushed and wish I hadn't if that makes sense?
What I am trying to say it is a really hard balance to get right and much harder when an instructor is meeting the horse & rider for the first time
 
I went on a xc clinic with a very well known trainer. My horse and I had been having major issues at coffins, and my confidence was pretty low. Horse had jumped well, and we came to the coffin at the end of the session. There were 2 coffins, a little one, and a big one. I asked the trainer if I could jump the small one, she said no. Half an hour later my horse was stood vertically on his hind legs, he reared over twice, and wouldn't contemplate going near the first element. Trainer then went to teach her next group of riders leaving me with a violently rearing horse, and my confidence in even more tatters!

Luckily normal trainer managed to help us sort the coffin problem out!
 
Yes. A well liked trainer on this forum. Was meant to be XC but the weather had been so bad, had to go indoors. They decided to do an indoor XC lesson.

I was not happy about doing XC style jumping indoors, as I had spent that entire winter trying to teach him to not rush at his fences. explained that, but was basically told to get on with it. Ruined the whole winters work in one hour, and took me the rest of the summer to stop him charging into coloured fences.
 
I was xc schooling with a new instructor. I explained to her our level of xc which was we have done most things except owl holes because my horse was a bit claustrophobic and I knew it would freak her out. However, I really wanted to impress my new instructor so when she told me to jump the owl hole I stupidly listened. Unsurprisingly my mare wouldn't even think about going through such a small hole and I just could not get her over it. I fully admit that my trepidation may have had something to do with it but it meant that we both had a mental block about owl holes which took 18 months to solve. Unfortunately that instructor didn't have any constructive advice to give to help me. I didn't use her again.
 
yep, an old friend was there when we were trying to load a horse we had on loan who was absoloutly adament he wasnt going to in the box after we'd finished going XC (loaded fine on the way there??). We hadnt been trying that long and he was an absoloute sweetie in all other ways so were a bit reluctant to put too much pressur on him straight away. She came over and said get the lunge line out, put it over his head, and loop it through a ring in the lorry and just pull (!!!!). We had lots of rearing, broke one of the hooks in the lorry, and a horse that was NOT going in the lorry. Great. I had to HACK back along horrible main roads and (luckily it was relitively close) after 3 and a half hours we got home. He was an absoloute star to hack home.
 
Not me but my daughter.

By trying to do the right thing and keep the peace took daughter and her pony for a jumping session with a trainer (who is often mentioned on here). Both were pushed way beyond their capabilities at the time, despite my protests, and both lost so much confidence. Its amazing how much damage 15 mins can do.

Would never let that happen again and will not go to that trainer with any of our horses.
 
Sure, it goes with the territory unfortunately. And I've certainly done my share of stupid things WITHOUT encouragement. ;)

Sometimes, as above, it can be a good thing to be pushed, although every time it's gone completely off the rails I've had a pretty strong premonition, not the usual reluctance that comes with pushing the boundaries. Generally I've been lucky but I'm also quite careful about who I get advice from and I'm VERY careful to be honest with anyone I'm taking instruction from and stand up for my horses' welfare if I feel I must. I think it's possible to do that without giving offence, but I agree it's not easy.

And it happens to everyone - I once watched a top class, medal winning coach get it really wrong in a clinic when he asked a group to do something "just one more time" and it went wrong for all of them. He did put his hand up an admit it, but it was interesting to watch it play out and learn from the mistake. I also have watched a clinician famous for being ultra-tough and brooking no discussion, modify an exercise or even excuse a horse from a particular task. In his case, I think he's famous and successful enough that he rarely feels that pressure to force someone/a horse to do something to prove he can if it's not in their best interest but I don't think that's the case for many instructors, unfortunately.

I try very hard when I'm teaching/training not to ask anyone to do something I don't think they can do IN THEIR CURRENT SITUATION and I'm equally careful with the horses. Or I ask the questions first myself, to make sure the horse understands and that there isn't something I've missed. Often a few careful minutes/sessions can make all the difference between success and failure. Haste makes waste.

Being careful does not mean being soft, which is where I think some people get confused. Sometimes being careful takes MORE discipline, attention to detail and intelligence than just going out and giving it a bash, hoping it goes right.
 
Had just got my horse confident jumping combinations at 1.10m. Was persuaded into trying it at 1.20m. Bad idea. The horse tried, but it was too much. In the end he slammed the brakes on and wouldn't jump 90cms :( In the end I coaxed him over about 60 cms a couple of times and called it a day. I was worried sick that I had ruined him. I think it dented his confidence a bit but he is a good guy and didn't hold it against me too much. A couple of weeks and we were almost back to 1.10m. I should have had the sense to know when to stop.
 
Pony didn't want to go down short slope into dressage arena under any circumstances, was being very reluctant once down there. I told the judge that I thought he had sore feet and that I wanted to withdraw. She said he didn't look sore, and suggested I do the test anyway. So I did, against pony's protests. At end, it was clear to everyone including the judge that he was indeed sore (low grade laminitis). My fault. Should have listened to him, not the judge.
 
Reading through the replies to your post there is a common thread to many of them. Well known/highly regarded trainers pushing riders/horses too far. This happened to me twice with 2 different highly regarded trainers. Once on a very green 4yo who had NEVER been in water before. He duly went into the water 1st go and then I was TOLD to jump him into water,at the 1st attempt he refused. Being quite young at the time I did query that he was ready to jump but was told in no uncertain terms to hit him into water which I very begrudeingly did. He went the next time and then refused point blank to go again...end of lesson and me left to pick up the pieces.

The 2nd time I was having a lesson with a world renowned trainer. My horse was not the best showjumper and was knocking quite a few poles down. The trainer then decided he would show me how to get my horse to jump better. He tried jumping my horse and it was worse so he whipped the horse and instructed us to rap him at the fence. I was extremely unhappy about doing this but what do you say? Horse was rapped,upshot, horse then frightened to jump and rushed his fences for months afterwards. I was told by the trainer post the lesson NOT to mention he'd instructed the horse to be rapped!!!!!!

Unless you have regular lessons with the same trainers they don't really know you or your horse and are not always there to fix problems post an unsuccessful lesson. Highly successful competitors don't always make great trainers. A perfect example would be Jack Nicklaus who would regularly fly from the US to Britain to have lessons with a man called John Jacobs who was a good competition golfer but by no means the best BUT was a fantastic coach.

I now have great lessons from a fairly well known trainer but not someone who is regularly talked about (great cos he isn't too difficult to book). He knows me and my failings and those of my horses, he knows when to push us and when to call it a day, often a lesson will go really well so it's cut short, on a good note, other times if we hit a snag then the lesson will go over time to try and work through it. No more big name trainers for me thanks.
 
yep, on an EHOA clinic with a very well known trainer and the exercises were making my horse worse and worse and I ended the lesson with a horse who couldn't canter in a straight line, couldn't turn and was firing into fences.

I had tried to explain she was too sharp for what we were doing but was basically told to button it- it was so horrendous I lost all confidence in my horse and had a good cry for about an hour in my trailer afterwards :(

thankfully found a wonderful, less known, trainer who actually bothered to take the time to match exercises to my horse's tricky little brain and we have come on leap and bounds.
 
So many of these stories relate to top trainers, I suppose because you won't argue with them, where you might query someone local & unknown.
My tale of woe involves a top SJ trainer, she ruined my horse for a year. Horse was 5, jumping everything she was pointed at, going beautifully beforehand. Wouldn't approach a fence without rushing and stopping at everything afterwards.
What makes me cringe & sad (years later) was that as soon as I arrived the trainer tightened my noseband. She made it so tight my horse was really upset and confused. Can't believe I didn't say anything.
 
Having never done XC before, (moved from BS) I went to my first XC lesson.

My SJ'er was jumping the coloured poles in the first half of the lesson really well (so much so, the instructor never made any adjustments!) and by the time we went to the xc course, my horse was the only one who hadn't stopped/bucked/general naughtyness as I had put myself in the baby group.

Anyway, first couple of XC fences were great, then we went to the trochaner which was MASSIVE IMO and I said that I was really worried. Instructor said 'get on with it'

Anyway after 10 refusals, me panicking a bit and having a lead we finally got over it. Since then the horse didn't like jumping ditches at all.

I found out afterwards it was a novice height trochaner - probably not the best first go but although I am cross with myself for trying it, I don't blame the trainer as he must have thought I was capable of doing it.

New horse is much better at jumping them though I'm still scared!

What does OP mean by the way?

Cx
 
ArcticFox said:
Having never done XC before, (moved from BS) I went to my first XC lesson.

My SJ'er was jumping the coloured poles in the first half of the lesson really well (so much so, the instructor never made any adjustments!) and by the time we went to the xc course, my horse was the only one who hadn't stopped/bucked/general naughtyness as I had put myself in the baby group.

Anyway, first couple of XC fences were great, then we went to the trochaner which was MASSIVE IMO and I said that I was really worried. Instructor said 'get on with it'

Anyway after 10 refusals, me panicking a bit and having a lead we finally got over it. Since then the horse didn't like jumping ditches at all.

I found out afterwards it was a novice height trochaner - probably not the best first go but although I am cross with myself for trying it, I don't blame the trainer as he must have thought I was capable of doing it.

New horse is much better at jumping them though I'm still scared!

What does OP mean by the way?

Cx
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^^ Original Poster
 
A few examples:

My boy sometimes 'freezes' when he mentally can't cope with what is being asked or with what is happening. If you just take the pressure off for a minute, let him work it out he is right as rain. I had a lesson with an instructor that everyone on my yard was raving about. She was pushing us really hard and he had a 'freeze' she would NOT accept that my way was the best and stood behind him whipping him with a schooling whip insisting that "he has to go forward". I was yelling at her to stop and he was turning himself inside out with fear. I just got off and lead him out of the arena in floods of tears. Cheeky cow still slags me off to this day I believe, because I refused to pay the full price for the lesson (I think I was bloody generous giving her half) :-(

We also lost our confidence cross country. I went on a clinic advertised as being 'confidence boosting'. Being a little anal I even called and spoke to the trainer to explain our situation and to ask what kind of things we would be doing. On the day the booked trainer was ill and we ended up with the most disinterested trainer who by her own admission 'didn't do cross country any more and stuck to dressage'. In an attempt to slavage something from the day which had cost me a fortune we ended up destroying what little shreds of confidence we had by being totally overfaced with huge ditch pallisades, an angled double of tables etc To this day I wish I'd just not bothered that day.

In terms of regaining my confidence I've started having lessons with a very popular event rider (happy to tell who if people PM me) At the start of my first lesson I was practically sick with nerves and at the end I actually cried because I couldn't believe what I had achieved and how much she had moved us on. I was pushed out of my comfort zone, but just enough....
Thats the thing isn't it about having a lesson, you want to feel like you are achieving something so sometimes its that fine line between pushing someone to achieve something new and pushing someone and destroying their confidence.
 
One poster made a very valid point that you do need to speak up in lessons. Its very difficult to judge what you have in front of you if you have absolutely no feedback. Also its a fine line between pushing someone and destroying confidence. I am really clear when discussing with trainers my expectations and what I want to improve and through this I have never had a bad experience only disappointing ones. Ultimately you know your horse best and you are not going to offend anyone by being clear about maybe starting a little smaller and build up.
 
YO used to often whack big jumps up and tell me to get on with it - I just told them where they could go and stick it! If I didnt feel confident doing something ie a whopping great big jump then I wouldnt. Mind it takes a lot to push me around. Having said that, I have never been to a trainer that says you WILL do that.
 
When i was younger yes, and in awe of the person teaching. Now i will stop and say something if it feels wrong. Although sometimes you have to try and trust the person teaching as they may be right and it will work if you keep at it, but at the start feels wrong. Can depend on the trainer, the horse, the accuracy of the feel and the trust you have in that person.

But i think all people should be able to speak up and say they don't want to do something and why, no matter who is teaching. As long as you do it in a polite manner it should never be a bad thing.
 
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