Have I reached the end of the road?

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puppystitch

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Morning!

If anyone has the time to ponder my dilemma I'd appreciate it. I've reached a bit of a crossroads in my riding life and have no idea what to do next! I've been riding at riding schools since I was 5 (I'm 30 now :eek:, ) had about 5 years off for uni and work but otherwise was riding weekly. Over the past four years or so I've tried various stables from down at hell shoestring types to glam competition yards and it never seemed quite right so last year I bit the bullet and took on a share. I have to have one on full livery as I work long hours and can't commit to having the time (or energy) to muck out, but I was riding two or three times a week and enjoying it despite the fact that the horse wasn't my 'ideal' (a bit small, very odd paces and doesn't jump). In the run up to Christmas the owner took the horse hunting which resulted in a tendon injury which is only just starting to come right now so in the meantime I've been occasionally riding one of her other horses who I get on much better with in the saddle but I don't feel as if I'm really getting anywhere. I can't hack him on his own and so I usually end up in the school, which is fine but I'm not experienced enough at schooling on my own to achieve anything so we usually just go through the basics which is getting a bit repetitive and feels like a waste of my precious time at home. It doesn't help that she's not the friendliest person and I'm never quite sure how to take her and I'm now feeling that I don't want to go riding.

I've looked at going back to riding schools but they are SO expensive for private lessons and I'd miss the horsey interaction on the ground.

We have three lovely stables at home but no turn out, so whilst I could look into renting a field or grass livery locally the whole point of the share was that I really don't have the time to commit to a horse everyday - but maybe that would be different if it were my own horse? Especially if it could live out and didn't need to be ridden absolutely everyday during the week?

To be honest I'm considering just hanging up my boots and having done with it but part of me thinks it's just this grumpy owner that's put me off as I get worried about every interaction I have with her!

Has anyone ever felt this way and come out the other side :( ?
 
Could you afford an instructor to give you lessons on the horse? That would give you some more direction.

If you took on your own horse, you would need to have a companion for it as it is unfair to keep a horse alone, so that would be even more work/money. Unless you could find somewhere that does grass livery and there are other horses out with yours. But there is always the consideration of what happens should your horse require box rest? How would you cope with the mucking out and care of a horse stabled 24/7?

I think that perhaps you should look for a different share horse that suits your needs more.
 
If the grumpy owner is putting you off then I think in your situation I would consider looking for another share with a horse you can actually do things with, or alternatively if you can get grazing locally buy your own.

It is a comitment time wise owning your own, more so in winter months if you stable, but you don't have to ride every single day, and in fact in some years I turn away for a couple of months completely over the worst of the weather. An easy to keep type would probably be easier from the time perspectie if you don't have to faff with lots of feeds and rugging etc. Lots of people with long hours seem to manage perfectly well though, although it can't be easy.

To be honest I'd rather own outright anyway, then you can do what you want when you want, but that is just me.

I hope you find a solution that suits you, but I don't think hanging up your boots just yet would be right for you ;)
 
Wagtail said:
Could you afford an instructor to give you lessons on the horse? That would give you some more direction.

If you took on your own horse, you would need to have a companion for it as it is unfair to keep a horse alone, so that would be even more work/money. Unless you could find somewhere that does grass livery and there are other horses out with yours. But there is always the consideration of what happens should your horse require box rest? How would you cope with the mucking out and care of a horse stabled 24/7?

I think that perhaps you should look for a different share horse that suits your needs more.
Click to expand...

This^^

If the owner will let you have lessons I would deffinitley look into having lessons on the horses (if finacially possible and time allows), whereabouts are you in the country? P.S. Be careful the grumpy owners not on HHO forums you would be suprised how many people are :p
 
Sounds like you just need a more suitable share. Times are hard and a lot of people are looking for sharers especially if you are willing to make a financial contribution towards the horse's keep, so really you should be able to have your pick of shares. Can you not do the rounds of local livery yards and see if anything else is available? Word of mouth will probably find you a nice share, but you could also advertise in tack shops etc.

Having your own horse is definitely a lot more work. Even if it will live out you would need to check on him twice a day, as well as be around for farrier, vet, etc. Keeping a horse at home also comes with a variety of other issues, e.g. you would need a companion for it, you would need to keep on top of field maintenance, you would need holiday and sickness cover, etc. I appreciate you are an experienced rider, but for a first horse owner I would suggest that a livery environment is more suitable. Not only can they help out if you need help but they can offer advice and support.
 
A more suitable share and a loan companion, both kept at yours, with you paying someone to look after them? It will work out the same or cheaper than full livery. And get some lessons, join a riding club, have some fun :D
 
Thankyou - there are some interesting thoughts there. I have considered the implications of owning my own (I'm sure you can imagine how tempting it is to see those empty stables every blooming day!) and hopefully will one day, but as Booboos pointed out, I would far rather have the support of a livery environment for my first attempt.

I've had a few lessons with the current horse, and they have been helpful but I just can't get over the feeling of not wanting to go. Seems odd, especially in this lovely weather.

The general line of thought seems to be to find another share, so perhaps I'll keep an eye on the tack shop boards, but MrsMozart, you have hit the nail on the head - I just want to have some fun (and currently I'm not!).
 
There are so many people looking for loaners or sharers - that I would end your current share and look for another.

You want a good, sane allrounder that you can go and have fun on.
 
Either look for another share with a horse that suits you more & an owner with a happier disposition or if you know a nice riding stables look to buy one & keep it on working (or prt-working) livery, so you have the support but can just go for a hack if you don't fancy schooling, or join in a lesson & get some instruction. Once you have your confidence (which down to you finding out how things are done) go it alone. Otherwise get one, put it in part livery & look for a sharer yourself. It's meant to be fun, so if it isn't, change what you're doing.
 
As others have said Im sure you could find a more suitable loan arrangement with a different horse? I currently have a mare on part loan. Ride her 3 times a week and only pay a small amount. As you dont have much time maybe part laon would be a better arrangement?
 
I think you need a better share/loan.
Something you can do what you want with at your own pace. Something sensible, been there done that.
There are pleanty of people wanting a nice loaner/sharer for their horse, especially in this economic climate.
Find something more suitable and I bet you will be loving it again :D
Plus you don't want a grumpy owner to have to contend with!!
 
if the owner is grumpy can you not go up and ride when she is not there ? as someone else said, maybe some lessons on the horse with an instructor will help you move forwards ??

is the original horse you were riding likely to be back in work soon so you can get back to riding the horse thats more suitable for you.

i have a friend who im currently helping look for a share and yes there are lots out there. she is already sharing but looking for somewhere where there is a school. we have been to see several and to say it would be out of the frying pan into the fire would be an understatement !!!

she has decided better the devil she knows and is staying put !!! good share arrangements can be hard to come by but if your not happy move.

why is the owner so grumpy, have you tried discussing things with her ???
 
I think it's just her nature - sometimes she's completely fine, nice even, but you can never tell. I do quite often ride when she's not around but still have to deal with her by text/email/phone to sort out when I can ride etc. and as she has other horses there she is at the yard a lot!

Everyone seems to suggest moving so I think I'll see if there are any more shares on offer locally. To be honest it's not to do with either of the horses, they're both lovely which is why it's confusing me. If I didn't get on with the horse I'd have no qualms about going elsewhere. Humph!
 
what a shame, if you really like the horses is it not worth talking to the owner about how she makes you feel ??

surely she wouldnt want to be making you feel like you dont want to ride, as that means she loses a sharer too ?

good luck, i really feel for you
 
It's meant to be fun! If you aren't enjoying it - you have the upper hand here, there are more people needing help, than people offering I think.

Either find a better share horse situation OR buy your own and see if you can find someone to share yours, that way you have put back into the scheme what you have enjoyed yourself!

I know its probably a naughty suggestion, but hearing you have stables has changed it for me!
 
Having been through having the wrong horse last year (very long story!!) i can understand the feeling of do you give up or do you go on and find something suitable.
when things arnt right, wether its the wrong horse or wrong environment/people around you it can make you less enthusiastic to enjoy your hobby.
Luckily i have now got the horse of my dreams, and i cant wait to get to the yard to ride. Its amazing how having the right horse can make all the difference. So it sounds like you do need to find a more suitable all rounder fun horse to enjoy.
I too work long hours 6 days a week and in summer often till nearly 9pm most days. But i ride pre work, i know it doesnt work for everyone....but actually i find it works well, you often get the best part of the day, watching the sun come up early spring over misty valleys is beautiful. Also it really clears the mind before work going for a nice canter across fields or having a good lesson. It also then means that you have evenings free. I ride generally 6 days a week and my horse has sundays off which is generally my day off so that i get to spend the day with the OH and fit mucking out around that on a sunday.
My horse is on part livery so i muck out and ride before work then she is taken care of the rest of the day for me. Just a suggestion that maybe you could find the right horse or horse share in a livery environment and do it that way round....although i understand that early mornings and riding/mucking out pre work are not everyones cup of tea!!
 
Thankyou all so much for taking the time to comment! I went on a lovely hack over the bank holiday which was good for morale and had a nice time faffing around grooming etc afterwards. I think I'm going to stick it out for now and try to ignore any odd attitudes but I will have an eye on tack shop noticeboards for any other offers.

I'm going to see whether she'll let me do a bit more with them too, which will hopefully increase my confidence and get me a step closer to having my own. The long term plan is to put hooves in the stables at home, but I must be patient!

So many of my friends are having babies at the moment, I can't wait to get a little fluffy lead rein pony/companion for them all to come to play with in a few years time!
 
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