Have you ever thought about giving up horses for a while??

[*Maddy&Occhi*]

As the title says really?

Have been into horses as long as I can remember (7/8 years old). My parents couldnt afford to buy me my own so I loaned for years until I was able to afford it myself. Horses were and still are my life, every single day im there, nothing comes inbetween. When I turned 16 I got myself a full time job and bought my first pony, ended up selling her (rushed into buying her and she was too much too soon for me) so then I bought my 2nd mare back in march last year, love her to bits, ive had so much bad luck with her, one of the recent ones being collic from tapeworm. Putting all that aside ive never batted an eye lid at the vet bills, the agro, the heartache, the bad luck, its never bothered me. But the past few months ive been having so many sudden thoughts/ doubts. Im only 18, spend all my money on my horse, cant afford to drive because of that, so rely on a friend for lifts etc. Ive been thinking about taking a little break for a while...just have some me time. There's so many things I want to do but just cant because I have a horse (im not blaming her btw) I just dont feel happy any more and its not fair on my mare, she's perfect in every way but I just want a break now. I went over to Portugal last year to train with a few top classical dressage masters, one being Luis and Fillipa Valenca. If I didnt have my own any more, I would still want to maybe half loan for a couple days and go out to Portugal alot more, not totally give up horses.

I have a great job but im very restricted because I have to leave early to go stables, would love to work longer at my job (thats how much I love it lol) start to drive and maybe half loan for a while. Sell or put my mare on full loan or something.

Sorry for the long story but just wanted to see if any others have felt like this before e.g. take a break to persue other things? and what your outcomes were? just looking for someone to relate too really Its hard trying to make a decision when your not 100% certain.

Bottle of water and a PRET coffee to anyone who reached the end

 

[bumblelion]

Iv often thought about it but don't think I ever could! They're too in my blood! The only time I do consider it is in the depths of winter when Id like to go on holiday somewhere very hot!

Just wanted to add, you're only young! I didn't get my first horse until I was 23 years. I don't think I'd have coped financially and probably socially at your age with one! I experienced a lot before getting my first horse, I worked abroad in Ibiza, joined the army! Basically enjoyed being young with no real commitments!

 

[Gracie21]

you're like me

I love my horses, can't bare thinking about life without them. I'm 20 this year (that sounds really old!) and work 4 days a week. I have a boyfriend who isn't into horses and I spend ALL my money on livery, shavings, feet etc, and he's not even broken in yet! Sometimes I LONG for a lie in! I can't go to town a lot because the horses need putting out at 7am, my life sometimes seem to resemble anything but a 19yr olds!

Your life is about YOU! If you have something you really want to do, do it

Don't make a decision unless you're certain

Coffee please, one sugar

 

[Tinsel Trouble]

There's nothing wrong with taking time away from anything. If you feel it is right for you, then do it! 18 is so young- you have another 60 years ahead of you- probably more! what's a couple of years going to affect?

I would sell up and spend the money on driving lessons- stay in contact with horsey friends you will probably be asked to cover holidays so you will still ride and muck out- just likely in the summer!!

 

[KSR]

I had a break for five years when I was at university.. I have to say I'm not happy at all without horses though, it wouldn't have been viable under the circumstances..

I am lucky in that my mum has moved in this week so if I need a break, she is happy to be there.. Bearing in mind I'm having abdominal surgery Monday and have 6 of them she will have fun!! OH helps out too though..

In my opinion for what it's worth, perhaps you should have a break.. You are young and opportunities are often in shorter supply the older you get.. Portugal sounds great.. The other thing I would consider is growing to resent your horse if she is preventing you doing other things.. I've never been on holiday and never left my horses until last summer (ended up in hospital, that will teach me!!) for 10 days.. I'm 32 now and to most peoples minds I have done nothing and experienced nothing due to horsey commitments..

 

[abbijay]

Firstly, have a internet wierdy **hug**.
It sounds like you are having a tough time but also in your heart of hearts have already really made a very difficult decision.
I never managed to own or loan when i was younger but i had lessons and helped at stables from age 4 right through until i went to uni. When i was at uni i simply couldn't afford to ride - our lessons including transport were only £8 (in 2002) but I only had £12 a week to spend on food and I wasn't going to scrimp on my booze budget! I gave up and had pretty much nothing to do with horses for 6-9 months. Then i realised how much I missed it and started volunteering at an RDA. I did that for 4 years and it was only in the last year that i started riding again. Now several years later I have bought the love of my life.
It was a really good thing for me to have time out and realise why I loved it and what it meant to me. When you have a horse they have to come before yourself but sometimes in our lives we need to out ourselves top of the priority list.

 

[Dot2dot]

I put both of my horses up for sale recently as I thought the break would be useful mainly financially. I then went and put a deposit on a foal!! I clearly wasn't able to deal with the thought. So now I have two horses that still havent sold and a newbie waiting for a stable with me. I do get myself into some scrapes.

 

[paigesummersgill]

Im the exact same and know excatly how you feel.

Im 18 years old and work full time 9-5 everyday and all my wages seem to be spent on my horse, however ive now opened up a seperate bank account which i have named (HORSE ACCOUNT) sounds daft i know, and i put my money for livery feed and a spare bit in each month, so whatever is left in my account i know if mine to spend to enjoy myself. Me and my friend swop days, sometimes she'll go down at 7 to put them out or sometimes i will we just alternate days so sometimes we get lie's in etc.

However your life is yours to do what you want with and if you feel like you need a break then take a break you've got many many years ahead of you. Put your horse on part loan at first to see if you feel your definately making the right desicsion because once you sell her shes gone. Then if you feel your making the right choice but her on full loan then maybe sell her.

As daft as it sounds aswell, sell your old horse things on ebay for a bit of extra cash and treat yourself with it. I do this, it doesnt even have to be horse things just anything you dont need (you'd be surprised what sells on ebay)

Hope this helps! Sorry for the essay xxx

 

[PaddyMonty]

Yes I did try to walk away from horse when I lost the ride on my last horse.
Didn't work though. I guess after 47 years of running my life around horses I'm institutionalised. Now back to riding 4 different horses but dont have the work/cost associated with them. I just school/exercise them for the owners.

Perhaps this might be a solution for you. Still have involvement but not the 24/7 comittment.

 

[traceyann]

I think of giving up horses every morning when i get out of bed at four oclock what i wouldnt give for a lay in

 

[sandi_84]

I fell out of the horse lifestyle 10 years ago and never thought i'd come back.... well I did and I realised how much I loved it!
You don't necessarily have to sell your mare, I would put her on full loan first and see how you go. That way you have more time to work/play/learn to drive and at the end of the day you have security knowing that if you really wanted to have her back you could do it pretty quickly. You would be able to go on holiday and do all the things you want to do that are non-horsey but you could still visit her, even maybe have the odd ride too. xXx

 

[Captain Bridget]

I'm having to take a forced break from horses at the moment. I'm having difficulty finding a decent job so just don't have the money to fund riding. But it's giving me time to try and sort my life out. I'd love to be riding again but I know I have 'more important' things to do at the moment.

It sounds like you could do with a break, maybe you could find a sharer for your horse? That'd give you a bit more time and money to learn to drive and work.

 

[BBH]

Yes i'd like a break from them and am working towards that.

They are just so time consuming and at the moment I feel my dogs are taking a back seat because all my time is spent doing horses. I prefer walking my dogs tbh.

I might feel differently if I only had one though. 3 is two too many.

 

[BSJAlove]

I had a year 'off' and ended up buying two within a few months. I couldnt do it. Now however, I have to save for a house and wedding, pay for my car and 2 horses so ones gone out to loan and the other will have a sharer when we do make the move. I couldnt be without them in the end!

 

[diamondrockharvey]

I did the exact thing you are thinking of.
I have ridden since I was a toddler.
I had my first pony when I was 11yrs old and then her foal after that.

Then I got to the age of 17 and decided I wanted to travel, do things with my friends and live my life a bit in ways I couldn't have done with a horse to worry about.
Then when I was 22 and I had 'settled down' a bit, I couldn't bare being without horses in my life and bought another horse - now, 4 years later and I am well and truly back into the horsey life style.

 

[4faults]

I have had these thoughts im 25 and have had my own horses since I was 14.

I have a house, im getting married this year and I want to pass my driving test.

I have had little breaks before, putting my horse out on loan or turning them away for awhile and I have been bored stiff!!

So instead I left my badly paid grooms job which I adored and took a boring office job which pays a lot better and offers overtime and opened a savings account. I have so far managed to buy a horsebox and fund some house improvements. My aims for the end of the year are to get married and pass my test.

Is there an option for you to earn extra by doing overtime? Or maybe take on a sharer to help with costs and time? So you could then put that money toward other things

 

[starbar]

Can you get a sharer? This would help timewise and financially and then see how you feel. Be careful and think carefully before totally getting rid of her. It would be heartbreaking to sell and then realise that you couldn't be without horses and were just getting the winter blues! Good luck with whatever you decide. I do agree that at your age there does also need to be a life other than just horses x

 

[Aidey]

I was going through abit of a rough patch/fed up stage a few years back, sold my horse that I had owned for 6 years, I always swore I would never sell him but at the time my heart really wasn't in it and he deserved better than to not get the attention he had always known and deserved. I sold him in the January and at first, not having to get up in the freezing, wet and windy weather was a nice break but it didn't last long, in the September I was really down about not having my hobby that I loved so I got another horse.

The break did me good and made me appreciate it again. Now when I have my off days I think of what it would be like if I didn't have my lovely horses and how empty my life would actually be

You need to do what is best for you, I remember what it was like relying on lifts to get the farm and the best thing when I first passed my test was that I could get up whenever I wanted and take myself the farm without having to ask anyone for anything

Good luck with whatever decision you make xx

 

[Flicker]

I took a break during Uni and first jobs - from about the age you are now to my late 20's. However, I 'kept my hand in' and rode whenever I could get the opportunity.

I missed riding and horses like crazy, but I also enjoyed striking out on my new career path, partying, travelling and buying clothes, theatre tickets, meals out etc which would have been out of the question if I'd still had horses.

When I was more financially secure and settled I took a horse on loan for a month to see how I liked it, and I haven't looked back! That was almost 10 years ago and I'm finding I really enjoy it this time round because I've got all the other stuff out of my system and just want a quiet life with the OH, the horse and the cats

As others have said, everyone's situation is different and unique. But taking a break doesn't mean you will never have access to horses - you can arrange it so you don't necessarily have the responsibilities of owning your own horse, but can still ride and spend time in the company of horses.

 

[Kelly1982]

I was exactly the same at your age!! I had my own horse since the age of 10, I got to about 18 and wanted a car and to be out having a social life with my friends but I couldn't afford that and a horse.

I was getting on the large side for him anyway so decided to put him on full loan. I brought a car and had a whale of a time with my mates.

Then I got to about 22 and the novelty of clubbing started to wear off and I started to miss horses so went back to horses and havent looked back.

The break definitely did me the world of good and I think I would of regretted it if I didn't take it.

Now I'm lucky enough to be able to afford a horse, car and still go out with my friends a couple of times a month so have the best of both worlds.

 

[dressagelove]

Yes, I think about it sometimes, but I just don't think I can do it. I have had my own horse since I was 4, and now 23! I have never had a life away from them, and not sure what I would do with myself away from it. I often wonder what its like not to have horses, especially in the depths of winter, ugh its such hard work, but with all that spare time! Id be bored stiff!
Im starting a new job in june, and its going to be a shock to the system after being a student for 3 years. My parents have their own land, lots of it! So Im thinking about chucking my two out and forgetting about them for a few months until I get into a new routine with my new job, but certainly couldnt sell them... horses are who I am now, don't think I can walk away from it 100%, even for a while!
Do what feels right for you, its your 'journey'

 

[Firewell]

I think if you can take a break, you should but I would put your horse on loan just in case!

I got my first pony when I was 7 and I've had my own horse ever since. I even took my horse to uni with me!! I went to Hartpury college and I had him on DIY up there with me.
I was lucky in when I was your age my horse was an older schoolmaster type so if I didn't ride it didn't matter. There were times when I rode once or twice a week when I was doing exams or wrapped up in social life. I still did him everyday!
When I left uni I got a youngster and fair nearly killed myself getting up at 5am, commuting a 4hr round trip to work, riding in the pitch black at night and not getting home until 9pm. I also lived at home as having my horse meant I couldn't afford to move out!
Somehow I managed to meet my OH, then my youngster died just as I had got her established and then I started again with another young horse and a TB at that!
I've put two years now into my current horse, I take him to as many shows as possible to get him out and about and established in different disciplines and I ride in the wind, the gales, when I'm sick you name it and I often wonder why the hell do I do this!
It was minus 5 at a show last weekend, I was there for hours, my first test went like crap, the 2nd was good but I did think why am I doing this??

My OH owns a beautiful London town house yet because of my horse we live in a much cheaper
rented house near my horse and mum in the country. Like everyone I sacrifice time, money, holidays for my horse.

If something happens to this current horse (god forbid It does as I worship the ground he walks on) I would definitly take a break. Not forever but just a year or two to *find* myself, the person I am without horses.

I'm glad I just have the one horse, but yes I do think about giving up. I could live in the nice house, spend my time travelling, do things I don't normally do just to see what it's like?!

Saying that I'm often at my most happiest when I'm with my horse so I won't give him up, also I love him too much. I do find myself pulled in different directions though sometimes, and I fight with the balance or horse vs life frequently.

Good luck whatever you decide x

 

[Naryafluffy]

Everytime mt vets bill arrives!!!!

 

[Funkyfilly024]

I dont think its really giving up.
Its a skill and passion for life and you can always come back to it at any time (when your older and have more money, ha)
I sold my horse in November because of my work commitments and to be completly honest I was loosing pateince in my horse, he was too much work for me to get to what I wanted. I know that possibly that sounds quite hard-hearted but truth was he was going to get much more attention and have more fun elsewhere and I would lay awake at night worrying and feeling guilty about that fact.

Doesn't mean I dont enjoying riding/watching/going to shows ect...
I now ride my sisters horse and friends horses on and off and am much happier.

Theres nothing wrong with admitting that you can't commit the time or money. At your age I would honestly say I think learning to drive is a priority. You could then prehaps go for a share instead.
At the end of the day your either one of the nutters who would be living in a wheelie bin down the bottom of the feild before the horse went or your one who values your own quality time and health equal to the horse. (dont push yourself to crash and burn point !)

Charlotte x

 

[Brandy]

This is a hard one, and your story so far sounds similar to me. Rode from being tiny, didn; thave own pony, got one as soon as I could afford to, and have had them ever since.

There are a LOT of things that I haven't done becuase of having horses - I didn't take the summer job I was offered in Portugal when I was 19. I didn't go to teach summer camp riding in America when I was 21, I didn't go on holiday for about 15 years, I didn;t buy my own house until I was 33, I had to move home and live with my parents when I split up with my ex as I couldn;t afford to keep thehorses and live on my own........in hindsight I should have had a break but by the time I could afford my own horse mysefl I made damn sure I got one!! I am also crap at selling, and ended up with 7 at one stage....

Saying that, there are LOADS of great things I have done and achieved becuase of having horses. I don't regret them at all.

So thats just added more confusion then.......

 

[NW1]

I (am 26) felt exactly like you --- (& so many others apparently)….

Struggled to find the time to give my horse the hours of attention he deserved as well as competing (he loved it more than me!!) but struggled to fit it all in with a career in London, partner etc….

It was the hardest thing I did (I had him since yearling etc) but rather than sell him I gave him to his new mummy (perfect home for him, but she couldn’t afford to buy him) – so that was peace of mind, and I could go to see him whenever I want, but I don’t anymore because I know now he is a happy horse with her.

For the mean time -- I get to spend quality time with my partner (who also works lots so time together is precious), we go on lovely long holidays (with no guilt of the horse not being fussed the way I like it – he was on livery so still cared for), we have spare money to do nice things and we now looking to buy our 2nd house.

It was hard because I couldn’t manage a relationship, work & a horse…. And something had to give. Others may not agree that the horse should have been it but at the end of the day, he was essentially a hobby (an expensive & time consuming one at that).

My future/life was more important, but first and foremost I made sure he would be happy & cared for.

I ride a friends horse once a week, I still visit other friends and their horses, go to support friends in competition and go to the big events with my partner.

It still is my passion and I will have another horse one day, maybe when I don’t work in the city… I’m not sure yet. I’m just sure this is not a permanent fixture.

I look at it as it’s just one of those things……

 

[loopinlou]

completely sympathise with you. I have been riding for 18years and had horses (on loan/purchased) for the past 12. Having sold my first horse after many years as she wasn't suitable I have had several on LWVTB that sadly haven't worked out, I am now at the point where I have lost all confidence when riding and handling a horse and cannot see how to get past this. I have made the difficult decision to take a break for a while to focus on my career and other interests. it is your decision to make and only you will know what the best thing to do will be x

 

[Perfect-Piaffe]

Hi Maddy, I felt this way a few years ago, I had no time, no money and was always tired from being at the yard every hour i wasnt at work! But then I broke my leg and could go to the yard for a while and realised how much I missed it and the horses!

I had a break after my last horse was pts as I wasnt planning on getting another one either but after about 2 weeks missed it so much I was back tot he yard and a little while later got Linney!

If you really feel like giving up make sure you really really do before you sell Moja as she seems a great horse for you (when shes well!) and after Occhi you know how hard it is to find one that is right for you! How about a loan for her? Give you a bit more time and money too xxx