Have you ever thought of giving it all up?

[Stinkywellies]

Hi all

As title really? Does it ever do though your mind to give it all up?

I can't believe that i am even thinking it but i am seriously considering selling my lovely mare and giving up horses all together....

The thing is i really can't really work out why i am thinking about it. I have never considered it before. I have always totally lived for my horse, its what i go to work for...

I am 32, ridden and owned horses for as long as i can remember. I did have a nasty fall about 3 weeks ago, nothing major, just broken ribs and bit bruised.

I just feel like a spark has gone out inside of me. I have turned my horse away for a month as she is only 4 so thought it would do her no harm while i am mending.

Has this happened to anyone else? Do you think it is just a phase?

Any experiences welcome!!

Thanks for reading.

 

[Chestnutmare]

oh hun I'm hoping it's just a phase your going through esp as winter is fast approaching...grr!
If it's in your blood then you will always have horses in your life, please do not be too hasty to make a decision whilst she's turned away for the month like you say give yourself sometime to seriously think about things.
What have you been doing with your mare or would you like to do with her? if that will help to concerntrate on the next steps with her and hoping that will re-spark the light inside, have you any horsey friends close by that can help you at all, perhaps go for a nice long ride together (on a different horse)?.

I hope whatever it is you decide to do is the right one in the end.

I wandered a few years ago if I should give it all up...and had about 6mths to a year out of it and it drove me mad couldnt settle, hated not doing them before or after work at weekends, I am not the type of person that enjoys going shopping esp at weekends, I'd rather be up the yard fiddling about with things, trying new things, repairing things, moving bed about in stable, going through all my stuff having a good tidy up etc etc....going to shows to watch others and hope to get inspiration, horsey shopping I can do all day long.

I really hope you think about this long and hard, but if its really what you want to do then fair enough!!!
Best of luck sweet
xx

 

[stencilface]

I kind of gave it up for 16 months when I went to work abroad. Luckily kept my horse at home and family looked after him.

I can't tell how mad it drove me not having something to do. I reckon I would like to give up my horse sometimes, but would give it about 3 weeks until I was totally bored

If it wasn't horses for me, it would likely be some other just as expensive sport

 

[picolenicole]

I used to work with horse's and after about a year and a half i sold all my riding this (including horse). Worked there for 2 years and after I left, wished I had never sold my horse, so lasted about 3 months before I got another. So I think it's a phase.
XxX

 

[Stinkywellies]

Thanks Kezz x

We have had a bit of a bumpy year. Some great highs, supreme in hand champion at two big (ish) shows. I backed her myslef and she has been such a good girl.

She has managed to injure herslef a couple of times so has had time off.

We have done 2 dressage and come 3rd and 2nd so she has done really well.

I would really love to event her but i just dont know anymore.

I know what you mean about the shopping thing!! I am always at the yard, pottering!

I am going to sit back and have a good think i think! Just can work out whats wrong with me!!

This forum is great therapy tho!!

xx

 

[Chestnutmare]

so if you want to event her what is it that is stopping you? something is?
If she's capable to do it later on...then why not what great therapy is that being in open spaces popping some jumps with your best friend?
Horses are THE best therapy around good for cuddles, talks - even if they think were mad, crying over them etc...
You seem like you have had a good start with her winning those is great, but having injured herself also has had it's low's i'm sure, when you are both ready do it all again...and proceed from there? and the pleasure of backing her yourself is fantastic and a great acheivment for you both..

I really mean it though hope you have a good think and please do not worry about coming on here just for a cry or moan or whatever thats what were all here for...support!

it's not easy but you'll figure it out soon i'm sure
xx

 

[Spyda]

[ QUOTE ]
Have you ever thought of giving it all up?

[/ QUOTE ]

On numerous occasions

It's invariably a phase. You're bound to be feeling low after your accident, so give yourself time to get over that. Winter coming wont be helping either, I guess. Is there anyone who could help you out a couple of times a week. Someone you trust who could ride and pamper your mare, and give you a bit of horse-free time?

 

[Lollii]

I think about this quite a lot! clean clothes and holidays would be lovely!!
I have 8 to look after (2 to excercise) so it is a lot of work and with winter coming .....

But what we we do without them

Can you turn her away for a bit longer? perhaps decide in the spring?
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

 

[Stinkywellies]

Thanks everyone, some food for thought as they say!

I think its just wierd when i have never felt like this before, perhaps it my age - early mid-life crisis!!!

Dont think it helps when you dont bounce when you fall off like you tend to as a child....

I am sure i will be ok. Cant really see a life without horses think i would go even more crazy than i am now..

xx

 

[angela_l_b]

Definitely thought the same during hard bits with my youngster. I have also turned him away for a few months as I am pregnant. I am thinking that I might not be a young horse person; he is lovely and has improved loads since i got him, but I only have limited time and so do not progress as quickly as I would like.

I am considering putting him in schooling livery for a couple of months in spring after I have the baby, and then deciding whether I want to sell or keep him. If i sell him I will look for a 7-8 year old that I can enjoy more immediately. I know you don't get the satisfaction of making them yourself this way, but at least you get to do the thing you want straight away. It takes a while to get a young horse ready to event without being impatient and rushing it, and it can be frustrating along the way.

Good luck, enjoy the break while she is out, and see how you feel about her after a few weeks off. You may find you are longing to get back on her, or that she isn't quite what you want. It doesn't necessarily mean giving up on all horses, though.

 

[volatis]

Its bound to be a mixture of your accident and the time of year

When I had my accident last year I thought I was fine, but I went through a phase of just not enjoying it any more and was really thinking of selling everything and just going back to an office job where at least i would get paid occasionally!

But when it came to the crunch I couldnt do it, and I am know thinking of moving all the horses down South to take up a new job riding eventers, I've just sat on my homebred 3yo for the first time and I am planing next years showing season with the in hand lot

 

[catembi]

Oh yes, I def have thought this.

It's a combination of the finances & the huge amount of effort, & the fact that it's hard to balance the 'fun' of horses against the money & effort.

The horses live at home, so we have a huuuuge mortgage. There is also the lorry to run, affil fees, show entries, lessons, blah blah. Plus it's a lot of effort looking after the horses, getting organised for lessons/shows etc. And sometimes I don't even like competing... I dread it but then warm up to the idea once I'm there & am then pleased I've done it on the way home. And I've had to claw my way further up the career ladder & do loads of prof exams etc in order to be able to afford (in the loosest sense of the word...) the horses.

Feeling fed up in gen atm as Adrian (the horse) has been getting slower & slower. He's at the vet's today & tomo but there is nothing conclusive, so this has triggered my current 'is it worth it' phase. Plus it's coming up to winter, & the thought of all that activity outside in the dark & sleet is just a bit too much!

If I did give up, I think I'd quickly get restless, especially when Spring rolls around.

Good luck with deciding what you want to do!

 

[girla]

Hi unfortunately i am one of the one's that did give up

. I had horses for nearly 30 years (welsh Cob D's) i bred & showed them and it was my life

. Then over time i grew tired

, i was working full time & had a part time evening job. Every penny i earnt was spent on them. I loved my horses & enjoyed every minute of every day with them

, but something in me changed

for no particular reason i just started to loose enthusiasm with them

I continued with them for the next two years but then i realised even though i loved my horses i wasn't enjoying it anymore

. I think over time things change, people change, situations change ect and this added to me making the final decision to give up

. I spent the next 18months selling them in to good show homes & basicly doing the best i could for them to go on to good homes

. Do i miss them? YES every day, do i regret it no. I think i made the right choice as i really don't think i could cope with the demands financialy and physicly (sp). I still go to shows to watch & help if asked and as you can see still like to keep in with the horsey community. Take your time to make any decisions

its a big decision to make and even though people will tell you your mad to give it up it is only you who can decide in the end. And who knows you can always go back to them in years to come, as i would like to do

 

[tangoharvey]

yes! i think the older you get, the less confident you become, and falls hurt more!! As a kid I used to fly round on pretty much anything, I have now just bought a big clydesdale mare to keep my horsey bug alive - and its scarey, but worth every second (i think!)
Try writing a pros and cons list and see which wins!!

 

[zeuscleoharmony]

You know what, I only posted on here about a week or so ago saying exactly the same thing. After a fall, breaking my collar bone and subsequent surgery and being out of the saddle for almost eight months, I got back in the saddle about four weeks ago. Wasn't the same, was nervous, didn't enjoy it, hence my post and me questioning why I was putting myself through it. Anyway, with support from my fellow HHO's I have kept going, not made any rash decisions and am now on a complete high from having the most fabulous ride out with my boy yesterday. He was a star and made me realise I would never, ever, ever find another horse like him. Its in my bones, the whole horse malarky and if I sold him what would I achieve? It certainly wouldn't be giving up - been at it too long.

Give yourself time and do things at your own pace. You did have a nasty fall - broken ribs for goodness sake! Even a damaged pride can have a nasty knock on effect.

My advice, give it time, do lots of bonding and when you are ready tack up and have a ride. It doesn't matter if its a toddle up the lane and back.

I do hope you stick with it xxx

 

[Stinkywellies]

Dear all - just wanted to say thank you so much for your replies. I helps to know that i am not crazy and that other people think like this too!

Thanks again

xxxxx