Have you ever thought OMG why did I buy that horse!

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missyme10

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Hey all,

Who's bought a horse in a moment of madness and then thought OMG what have I gone and done!!
and what did you then do?

In April I bought a 2 year old Dutch Warmblood, not for me but for my daughter in the future - a long time in the future for that matter.
My daughter loves to show jump, and her dream is to compete at a decent level, and I know for this she would really need a sports horse of some sort.

This would all be fine other than from backing at 4 until she's big enough and capable enough, I have to fill the gap - this is the OMG part!!
My daughter is a way better rider than me, but she's only 9 at present and this horse is meant to be for her in her teens, ie horse will be about 7 when she takes over.
Sounded ok in theory when I bought her, but the 3 year gap that I have to fill, well I know I just can't do it, even with a good year and a half to prepare and having the money to send her off to be professionally backed and brought on quite well. The thought horrifies me when I hear of how DWB can behave and how highly strung they can be.

I dont know why I did it, it was most definitely a complete moment of madness, and I just really dont know what to do.
I've a battle of the head and heart going on, I really dont want to sell her, but know I should. I also have a Welsh D filly that is my future horse, currently 1 year 5 months, and they are good company for each other, they are 2 blooming peas in a pod lol.
I do keep making the decision to sell but never actually do anything about it, ie. get photos and actually advertise her and actively try and sell her! I guess I am worried about where she'll end up and also the market is so dead at the moment, is there really any point in trying?

I dont even know why I'm writing this, just rattling off I guess and to see what impartial people think, and to see if anyone else has an equal moment of madness :D
 
Sorry, i think ive missed the point, whats the problem if you have the money for her to be proff backed and brought on? I know you say you dont like the reputation of DWB's but not all DWB's are the same..
 
I think the point is she's a DWB, and Ok I appreciate they are not all the same.
But I keep meeting ones that are total nutters, I guess its sort of scared the hell out of me lol.
Its made me feel I'm totally out of my depth, add to that I've had a major confidence crisis recently riding, and I'm just thinking I can't do this.
I think I'm just going through a confidence crisis in general, and knowing how to do all things with a youngster, now seems so hard.

I currently ride a 4 year old, just backed when I bought him 3/4 months ago and I cope fine - big difference, he's a gypsey cob, but he does behave like a 4 year old at time, he gets excited, tries his luck, pushes boundaries etc.
But lets face it, they are totally different propersitions x
 
Just cos it's a DWB doesn't make it a nutter... my DWB is the safest horse (to ride) I've ever owned... wouldn't trust him an inch in the stable tho!:rolleyes:

I bought a Angloarab chestnut mare and regretted it totally.... sold her in the end -- only horse I've ever sold.

Blitz
 
Yes, DWB can be a bit of a handful, believe me, we had a mare and even up until she was pts at 26 she could act like a youngster on something, but she was a right character, and I would not have changed her one bit.
But, they are not all like this!
As for what to do with a 2 year old up until backing, I'm not experienced in this, so will allow others to comment, but she could turnout to be level headed and a sweetheart after all the worries! You say you will have her professionally backed anyway - why can't you have more experienced people in to help after this, and to give you lessons until your daughter takes over?

Me personally, yes I thought this when I got my boy for a few days, as a couple of times he refused to go forward and turned round out on a hack, and I just thought, oh God, I wanted somthing simple and safe, not something with an opinion like our old mare. Anyway, we soon sorted out who was boss, once I knew this was all he was going to try (was worried he may bolt or rear - you just never know with a new horse), and touch wood, we have been happy ever since! :D
 
Hmm, okay that makes more sense now you say youve lost your confidence a bit, maybe not best with a young horse. Is there any way you could get someone else to ride him until your daughter is older?
 
BeckyX said:
I think your plan is brilliant get the horse pro trained, your daughter will love it!!
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Well it seemed a brilliant plan at the time to me :D
and you're right, my daughter will love it and adores this horse.
The horse is everything she wants for the future, will be 16hh, so not overly big for a teenager who will prob pass my height by age 11!
 
If you really don't want to sell her, and if you think she is worth keeping, how about having her kept (for those 3 years after backing) on livery at a very good competition yard, where she would be schooled to a very high standard and ridden every day by proffesional riders.
 
bigboyrocky said:
Hmm, okay that makes more sense now you say youve lost your confidence a bit, maybe not best with a young horse. Is there any way you could get someone else to ride him until your daughter is older?
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Possibly, she's a quality horse so maybe I could loan her for 3-4 years to someone experienced.
I'd have 2 issues with this, getting her professionally backed and brought on at current prices where I plan to send her is gonna cost me 1200.00 - thats lot of money to invest in a horse which I dont mind for my daughter, but do mind for someone else to then go bugger things up with the horse.
Secondly, do people want to loan a 4 year old just backed??????

There are people at my yard that may ride her the odd tiime, but it would lack consistency that I believe is vital with a young horse x
 
An alternative to think about!

There are many experienced riders who for some reason cannot afford their own horse.

You could maybe advertise for someone experienced on a yearly renewable share contract who can spend time with your horse, bring it on, while all the time on your property, in your care. Especially if you say no financial commitment required.

I am sure you would find someone who would happily have something rewarding like that to do.

You would just have to be careful about who you pick, maybe ask around for recommendations.

there is always a risk of someone not lasting but choosing and vetting the right person would reduce that risk dramatically.

You could also get someone in to give lessons to that person. You would have such a great involvement with her training but would take that pressure off you.

Not all WB's are horrid :D It's always an argument that its nature verses Nurture but I lean heavily to nurture. Yes they might have it in their nature but if they learn manners and respect when young, it will lessen the risk.

Good luck, I do hope you find a good solution

:)
 
Misinterpreted said:
If you really don't want to sell her, and if you think she is worth keeping, how about having her kept (for those 3 years after backing) on livery at a very good competition yard, where she would be schooled to a very high standard and ridden every day by proffesional riders.
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Would be the perfect solution if only I were rich :D

I have 3 other horses as well, the monthly income only stretches so far, I've the lump sums for backing needed already set aside, but long term at 100 per week on top of my other horses costs would just be to much x
 
i suppose loaning could be an option but i think you would have to be VERY wary... for the reasons you say, you dont put 1200 into a horse for it to be ruined by someone else. On the other hand, it could turn out brilliantly and the loaner could do a brilliant job. I think youd just have to be careful about who you choose, and do lots of regular checks, to make sure its all going smoothly. I would advertise to a competition home only aswell, as this would generally encourage more experienced people :) good luck, but be careful! :p
 
There is a warmblood at the yard where my horse is and he is the softest thing ever he loves cuddles and is generally a lovley horse to be arround (he can be left in the stable with the door open while doing yard jobs and just stands in the door looking out) if he is ever the slightest bit rude all you do is growl at him and he is really appologetic. He is also a really nice ride not a complete plod but nothing nasty. He has been in with the same owner from just after he was backed and I think this has helped him as he really respects what she says and she is only little.

So what I am trying to say is give the horse a chance it may turn out to be great and with consistent boundaries you can have a lovley horse for you and your daughter.

ps I'm very jealous of your daughter
 
When I was 9, the stables were full of other horse mad girls. When I was 17, hardly any of those girls still rode. Now I am way over 40 and I know for sure I am in the minority.

If I were you, I would keep the young horse and enjoy handling her. You are years away from the worry of actually have to ride her yourself and tbh there is every likelihood that your daughter may not even be interested in riding when she is old enough and big enough to ride this horse.

When it is 4, have it professionally broken and if it is deemed too bright, then have them sell it.
 
i could put my granny, or yours, on my DWB mare. There is also a girl with disabilities/learning difficulties that rides my mare - they were out jumping this morning.

Her son is a nutter though!
 
You are not alone thinking something is a brilliant idea at the time! I bought a green 8 year old WB 3 years ago when my daughter was really keen competing her connie x at PC etc. I rode him doing the basics for the 1st year, with help from an Instructor and then my daughter took over the following year. Trouble is she is now wilting under the pressure of A levels, has left PC and hopes to go to uni next year so I'm getting him back (he is very needy so I don't want to sell him). Trouble is, I'm not sure I'm up to him any more! I would suggest not worrying too much right now, a lot can change in two years and your confidence might increase over time. There are also a good number of instructors/experienced riders out there who can help and this would be a better option than loaning your horse out. Good luck!
 
Thanks all :D

I've just sent a very long email to the woman I had planned on sending her to for backing, she's also been my riding instructor in the past.
Have told her my concerns etc, and asked how long it will take to not only back this horse but bring her on to the level I can cope with - being my RS she can obviously assess this well.

Have also asked if there is much difference backing at 3 or 4 - more curious than anything on this front.

I've also just had a thought on something, she moves to her winter paddock tomorrow and to go into this paddock, you have to go through another that is totally secure and is about the size of a school, but there will be no horses ever in it as there are 2 different paddocks off this area.
I thought that this area being secure may be a good area to work with her, where I dont have to worry about her charging off back to her pals etc, where I can start slowly and just do a bit each day and we can maybe grow together.
I would still bring her into the barn a couple of times a week, but its quite a treck and with 4 to look after, I do struggle for time and this would certainly help.
I also feel the need for help with her, and getting it all the time isn't easy, but I'd be confident to give things ago myself in this area, knowing if it goes wrong, all I have to do is get her through a gate and into her paddock, rather than a long walk to it from the barn or school x
 
I think you could find someone suitable to ride her for you while your daughter grows into her.

Just look at the post from the girl who is a student still at uni wanting to compete seriously in dressage.

I think if you keep a close ear to the ground and talk to instructors and yard owners and so on you might find someone who will suit. Either someone who can't afford the time or money for their own but has the talent or someone whose horse is unsuitable/injured/retired but still wants to compete.

The other things to think about would be getting a pro to ride you may not have to pay any more than the horses' keep and entry fees if the horse is genuinely talented enough to perform.

Or if it is a mare, well bred and well put together with a nice nature you could consider breeding from her - not to be undertaken lightly but possibly worth considering.
 
I agree with BigRed.
At the moment you have two nice young horses and the means to care for them. In the future you will have to get help to have them trained - for which you have resources. You don't know what situation will prevail in two years time, but if they are still nice horses and are nicely trained you will easily sell them if they are unsuitable for you or your daughter.
What might relax you a bit is to get some help from an NH practioner (have them come to you) to teach the ponies a few ground exercises. Then you can play with them when you have time and give them the best chance of having a successful life.
Good luck
 
A few years ago the showjumper I had was out of action after a freak injury in the field. A friend of a friend was looking for a rider for her homebred 4 yo wb that needed bringing on. I was on a post-grad course at the time so couldnt afford another horse. My friend recomended me to her and she called me and I went and rode the horse - she watched me the first time to make sure I wasnt an idiot, the horse had just been pro backed and I rode it a few times a week and at the weekends as she was local. I didnt get paid for it, nor did I want paying, we had an arrangement where I would come at agreed times and ride - it was a quality horse - really well bred and has since been sold to a professional, the owner had lovely facilties and took me to shows. We have become life long friends, I really enjoyed the project, hacking a youngster, bringing it on taking it to shows etc. the arrangement worked perfectly and I loved the horse and looked after it when riding as if it were my own. It filled the riding gap.
 
RW1 said:
A few years ago the showjumper I had was out of action after a freak injury in the field. A friend of a friend was looking for a rider for her homebred 4 yo wb that needed bringing on. I was on a post-grad course at the time so couldnt afford another horse. My friend recomended me to her and she called me and I went and rode the horse - she watched me the first time to make sure I wasnt an idiot, the horse had just been pro backed and I rode it a few times a week and at the weekends as she was local. I didnt get paid for it, nor did I want paying, we had an arrangement where I would come at agreed times and ride - it was a quality horse - really well bred and has since been sold to a professional, the owner had lovely facilties and took me to shows. We have become life long friends, I really enjoyed the project, hacking a youngster, bringing it on taking it to shows etc. the arrangement worked perfectly and I loved the horse and looked after it when riding as if it were my own. It filled the riding gap.
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That sounds a lovely arrangement, so I just need to find someone like u !! :D

I know all of this is in the future and I'm worrying about a year and half to two years from now, but my logic is if it is going to be to much, selling now would be a much better option than selling in 2 years time.
Both my daughter and I will be way to attached by then and there's no way I'll be able to sell her, its already hard enough as it is.
I'd never sell my welsh D as I got her at 9 months, so no matter what the problems are I will have to work through them, maybe I have to adopt the same attitude!!
2 hands difference in height I think is preventing me right now. Oh did I mention I'm only 5'2", and her size is an issue, I dont normally do anything over 14.3hh lol x
 
As others have said there are usually a lot of talented riders who cant afford to have a horse that will jump at the chance of riding a quality horse.

And yes I am currently thinking, why on earth did I buy my ex racer who is costing me a fortune in vet bills. He's just meant to be a fun project whilst my other horse is off with injury but he has cost me more in vet bills than I paid for him! It's a good thing he's so darn cute!
 
She's 2, right? So you've got another 2 years to build a good relationship and ground manners with her before she's due to be backed. There's plenty of time to make a decision before then.
 
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