Having doubts what to do?

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Questionable12

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I Bought a new horse and on Saturday night he arrived, when I tried him out he was amazing just what I wanted, I am having doubts now that there is no bond and that he will be bad ridden and also the commitment is a scary thing, I haven't ridde him at his new yard yet and he is my first horse
is it unusual to have doubts?
 
Erm.........yes it is. A new horse should be such an exciting, happy time. If you are having doubts now, it's a worry. And you really should have got your head round the commitment issue BEFORE you bought the poor horse ??

The question is why are you doubting ? The bond between horse and owner takes a time to build up, and why should he now be bad to ride ? I'm sure he'll be fine once settled.. you have to give him a chance, as he is confused and disorientated in a new home, and tbh he needs you.

If the doubts persist, consider the possibilty of returning him if possible, but do what is best for the horse.
 
Give it time, it takes AGES to get used to a new horse, I have just started to 'like' my horse and I have had him a year and a half, There have been lots of times I have wanted to sell him as I just didn't think we were getting on.

You just need to get yourselves into a routine, ask a horsey friend or RIi to give you a couple of lessons and hack out with someone on a nice plod around the countryside.

I'm sure you will be fine - good luck
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It's always nerve wracking getting a new horse, you just have to bite the bullet and get on with it. As for the bond - it will take about 6 months, so patience.......
 
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Erm.........yes it is. A new horse should be such an exciting, happy time. If you are having doubts now, it's a worry. And you really should have got your head round the commitment issue BEFORE you bought the poor horse ??.

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I think thats a little harsh! I got my first horse when I was 20, I had done all the research to ensure that I could not only buy him but also afford to keep him...I spent ages searching for the right horse, which in the end turned out to be an unbroken 3yr old Welsh D. I had the support of experienced friends but I still used to question my self once I had him home.

I think its TOTALLY NORMAL to have doubts or be worried, I know I was really over emotional for quite a while, I kept thinking I couldn't do him justice, and that he'd never be happy...4 years on I have such a close bond with the Welsh Cob, I wouldn't change him or any of our experiences for the world!!

Don't be so hard on yourself, a bond will take time to build up, the longer you spend with the new horse the better. Just take to enjoy the time you have together, try setting yourself little goals each week to build your confidence.
 
It is quite normal to be worried! I spent the three weeks after I agreed to buy Sidney in a mad panic, wondering what on earth I had done! I calmed down soon after he arrived though.

About the bond: I would say it took me 9 months to really bond with Sidney, and I didn't even notice it until someone mentioned it, and the fact that he looked out for me every single minute I was gone. Now we have a fantastic bond, and I can do anything with him. Don't worry, it will take time but it will all work out in the end
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Isabelle
 
[ QUOTE ]
Erm.........yes it is. A new horse should be such an exciting, happy time. If you are having doubts now, it's a worry. And you really should have got your head round the commitment issue BEFORE you bought the poor horse ??


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I wasn't excited when I got my new horse - I spent the first month very unsure and worried. I think it's perfectly natural in some cases.
 
Thank Goodness there are others out there that have experienced this...if only I'd posted a similar post! I got my first horse in sept and still wonder what on earth I've done...he's still settling down - unfortunately he's lame without a known cause at the moment so on box rest but actually this seems to be doing us the world of good - I think we may be bonding - yesterday I took him out to hand graze - if he could talk I swear he would have gushed "thank you mummy" especially as it was so sunny. We're up one minute and down the next - only the other week I phoned his old owner and had to stop myself from asking them to take him back...if only for a short time!!!
 
i think its very normal to have doubts when you get your first horse or even if you are have owned before and buy a new horse.
 
It's probably not even true doubts you are experiencing it's more nerves coming to the surface!!

On the bonding side, that will come. It does take time the only thing i can offer is to spend as much time with your new horse as possible and of course give him time to chill out... He is no doubt a bit nervous too of his new surroundings.
xGoodluckx
 
Hi, it will take time to build a bond with a new horse, my last loan horse took about 6 months until we started to build up a bond, and the first few months I was close to sending him back the little bugger!
And it is not unusual to be a bit scared and have doubts. I have been working with horses for 10 years, now doing an Equine degree at uni and have loaned countless horses over the years....I am planning to start hunting for my very own first horse at Easter, and although it is exciting, I am finding myself a little scared at the prospect too! I have been waiting such a long time until I had finished education...that now the time is nearly here it is actually quite scary
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another here in agreement!!
Ive had Tottie for 6months now, still not completely bonded with her, but i know it takes time!
The weather hasn't helped at all! Being so trerrible it has limited riding for me which has been depressing to say the least.
But you'll get there!!

If you dont feel 100% comfortable riding, lunge him, then progress to riding him with someone else lunging.
Grooming helps the bonding process too. Just sitting in the stable with him whilst he's eating hay. All helps!

Good Luck! Keep us posted!

And, any piccies of your new boy??
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I agree new horses can take ages to get used to and feel like they are 'yours', have had real trouble bonding with one of mine, its taken forever but he finally does feel like mine now. Others less so in the past but there is still a period of 'settling in' time before things feel normal.
Worries and doubts are normal in my opinion, you will get there in the end try not to overthink it or over analyse the situation, things will suddenly click into place, usually sooner rather than later.
 
Dont worry
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I spent the first 2 months with India and had her advertised mid way through the second month because I really didnt gel with her. Then I took her hunting and such an amazing time and we travelled home 200 miles together over Christmas and it was a real turning point. People who were ringing and asking if my mare was for sale were turned away!!! Stick with you'll get there xx
 
Its natural to feel like this I have with all of mine. I've had micah just over 3 months now and I'm only just starting to really like him.
If your nervous riding him in a place that is strange to him, and thats understandable, get someone else to ride him first. I did with Micah and he was so good bless him, Watching someone else do it and it all works out fine can be the biggest confidence giver there is, you end up watching thinking 'why didn't I ride him'

Don't be so hard on yourself
 
Having a horse is a huge commitment and it can feel a little bit scary at first as you have a lot to learn about each other before you find your "groove" so to speak.
 
It is daunting at first. For the first few weeks after my first horse arrived I thought I'd made a terrible mistake. But 18 months later we have a real bond and I know she has a forever home with us. We've had our problems but sorting them out has strengthened our relationship beyond anything i thought possible. Get a good instructor and have lessons on your own horse, that will help the process no end.
 
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