Having problems with sharer/loaner - would value some advice! *long *

Grumpy Herbert

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I have a sharer/loaner for my 16 year old mare. The sharer has had the horse for 4 years now. Most of the time sharer has been fine, if a little careless and 'gung ho' while riding. The arrangement is that she pays two thirds of the livery bill and shoes - I pay the other third, insurance, wormers, supplements and any vet bills. She has sole use of the horse. I did things this way because I wanted the mare to be kept at the same yard as my other horse so I could keep an eye on things - sharer hasn't had her own horse before and the mare can be difficult. We don't have a written contract because I stupidly thought that as we were both adults it wouldn't be necessary.

Recently a new livery has come to the yard and she and my sharer have really hit it off. The problem is my sharer's behaviour and attitude has changed for the worse. They went on a pleasure ride together and I found out that the sharer had done most of the 6 mile ride in trot and canter - and she saw fit to gallop up a steep hill. My horse was not fit enough for this. The mare came back a sweaty mess, with hot swollen legs and windgalls came up. Sharer did not tell me any of this, the YO told me because she was concerned. The sharer and new livery seem to want to hurtle round the countryside at 100mph all the time, which I don't like.

I found out today that the pair of them hassled another livery yesterday - they were asking her to take them to the beach in her trailer! I know this is not my fault, but I really don't like the way things are going or the attitude of the pair of them.

I was thinking of making new arrangements with the sharer. I feel some loyalty to her because generally she has been ok, so I don't really want to take the horse off her. I was thinking of saying that I only want her to ride my mare 3 days a week and in a sensible manner. Obviously the financial aspect would change to reflect this. I would not be getting another sharer, but my other horse keeps me very busy so the exercising of my mare comes in useful.

Do you think this is reasonable? What would be a reasonable amount to charge for this?

Thank you for reading this essay!!!
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Even if you say how you want your mare ridden, how are you going to enforce it? have you had a word with her yet about her behavioral?

If not,I would and say that if it happens again the loan will have to be terminated and then stick to your guns. The last thing you want is a lame horse because someone wanted to have a jolly.
 
It is not too late to get a loan agreement drawn up. You state what is, and what is not to be done to or with the horse. Making her responsible for Vets bills might cool her boots. If she doesn't like it, get a new loanee/sharer.

A contract protets both of you, so it is in her interests to have something in writing.

As for her attitude, it only matters so far as it affects the welfare of your horse.
 
I wouldn't want anyone riding/sharing my horse that rode them in a way that might damage them.

If It was my boy that someone had rode like that. I would never let them near him again.

Persoanlly I would try to find a more responsible sharer.

Pilib X
 
maybe say to her first your concerns - before you change her routine to the horse.

explain to her what you have been told - how concerned you are about the horse and give her the final ultimatum - slow down and respect what she has or lose 4 days riding each week.
 
I think you're being very restrained. If anyone brought my horse back in that state they would never sit on him again!

If you do want to continue with some sort of share I think you have to have a serious chat with this woman about what is and isn't acceptable (although I would stick to the way your horse is ridden and not get involved in anything else she has done). You do need to ask yourself whether or not you really trust her to do as you ask or will she just agree with you and carry on doing as she wants.

And as someone else has said its not too late for a contract - make sure you get one.
 
I've spoken to her til I'm blue in the face about how I want the mare ridden, as has the YO who also feels the sharer overdoes things. It just seems to go in one ear and out the other. She's one of these people who had only ever ridden at a riding school and thinks all horses, regardless of age, ability and conformation are up to whizzing round like lunatics. Like I say, I do feel some loyalty, but I don't think things can carry on as they are. She didn't even ask me if it was ok to take the horse to the beach!
 
I would pull the loan personally. She's obviously not listening. My boy was on loan and is now looking at having an operation with an uncertain future due to him being hammered continually on hard ground. Trust me, it's not worth it.
 
Thanks, Blackhawk - I think you've just confirmed what I already feel! The horse deserves better. I've had her 13 years and she is a cracking little allrounder - it would be a crying shame if her working life was cut short because of a careless sharer.
 
If you've already spoken to her, its unlikely her behaviour will change and you could end up with a lame horse.

I can understand you don't want to upset her but why do you feel loyalty for someone who sounds like they are riding your horse into the ground. Would she be so loyal and continue your agreement if your horse became lame?

I've had to tell someone they couldn't carry on sharing my horse so I know how hard it is, but at the end of the day its your horse's welfare and your peace of mind that count.
 
Tbh I agree with all above - sounds like she isn't going to change. Maybe give the ultimatum that next time you have any concerns, loan will be terminated? Its YOUR horse at the en of the day, and your vets bills if it goes wrong. I recently advertised for a sharer for my horse who doesn't sound as good as yours (mie is older and can't jump) for a similar arrangement, and had plenty of responses. You wouldn;t find it hard to find a new sharer and it might be for the best.
 
Doesn't sound like this sharer rides the mare very much if she's not fit enough to do a 6 mile ride at trot and canter so how upset would she be if you did pull the plug on it?
 
I can understand why you're relectant to lose her as a sharer as good sharers can be hard to find but if you've already spoken to her about how she rides the horse and she ignored you is she ever going to change? Perhaps one last warning - if she does it again she loses the loan? At the end of the day, although it may be difficult to find a new sharer it's going to be a hell of a lot easier than caring for a lame horse!
 
I would use the fact that your mare is now classed as a "veteran" to reassess your arrangement, and that you would ( for insurance purposes) need an official agreement drawn up.

As for amount to charge I don't know.

You could work out how much she is paying now per day and use that as a basis
 
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I've spoken to her til I'm blue in the face about how I want the mare ridden, as has the YO who also feels the sharer overdoes things. It just seems to go in one ear and out the other. She's one of these people who had only ever ridden at a riding school and thinks all horses, regardless of age, ability and conformation are up to whizzing round like lunatics. Like I say, I do feel some loyalty, but I don't think things can carry on as they are. She didn't even ask me if it was ok to take the horse to the beach!

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if thats the case - GET RID
there are plenty of nice people looking for shares that wont treat her like that
 
If you're too nice to want any confrontation and you don't want her to know about the yard owner telling tales, why don't you go down the road of saying that you need to discuss reducing the workload due to the horse's age? That way you could also reduce the charge to the borrower and explain that you don't want to risk being saddled with a huge vets bill because older horses are a bit more fragile.
 
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Doesn't sound like this sharer rides the mare very much if she's not fit enough to do a 6 mile ride at trot and canter so how upset would she be if you did pull the plug on it?

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Sharer didn't ride the horse much last year due to other commitments and she seemed to lose interest over the winter. Then this other livery appeared and suddenly she's riding most nights. The trouble is she didn't do any fittening work with my horse prior to the ride and doesn't seem to understand that they don't retain top fitness if they haven't been worked for months on end. I suspect she would be pretty upset if I did pull the plug now because the weather's nice and she's got a mate to belt round with.

Thanks all for the advice, I appreciate an impartial view!
 
I am sorry but tough if she wanted to keep the ride she should have ridden her with a bit more respect. I ride a friends horse now and I would never do anything with her horse she didn't like and I am always really carefull. I am more cautious with him than i was with my own horse.
 
.............looking at this from a sharer's point of view ........... as in my case I am the sharer, in a very similar set up to yours as I pay half of things etc. and am lucky enough to have full use of someone's old chap (he's 27
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.....and I wouldn't DREAM of acting the way your sharer is !!!

I've loaned my boy for 2 and half years and care and worry about him as if he were my own. In fact I reckon I probably worry more than his owner does!!! Although he's 27 I ride most days as he needs the exercise to keep they weight down and help keep him moving and comfortable - but I do light work, am ALWAYS careful of the ground and take into account the weather

At the mo in this heat we just pootle around as he finds it tough, in cooler weather I can safely make him work a bit harder. Some days I have to work hard to slow him down !!! We still have a canter out now and again but ONLY if the ground if soft enough - at his age I take NO chances, it's just not worth it!!

There must be plenty of sharers out there that would take better care of your boy - and respect your wishes!

Get rid !!
 
Your horse, your rules. No matter how long this person has shared your horse that does not give her the right to act so irresponsibly. If our horse who is out on loan was being treated like that I'd be straight down there with a trailer to fetch him home.
 
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