Heartbroken :( and advice on how to help a dog now on her own.

georgiegirl

georgiegirl

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Last week we took the agonising decision to say goodbye to my little terrier. He was nearly 18 and although it was the toughest thing ever to do it was the right choice for him. We have been left heartbroken with losing our best mate :( I have grown up with this little man so Ive taken it very hard indeed even though you know it was for the best.

We also have his 16 year old girlfriend (Jack russell) with us at home so have been worrying about her too. She has always lived with him so I imagine shes finding it strange being on her own (and the family being depressed/upset) We are making extra effort to keep giving her attention etc which she seems to be enjoying. Other times she does seem quiet and keeps looking round the garden :(

So does anyone have any tips on helping her? And also do you think getting another would help/benefit her? She has people with her at the moment all the time but in a few weeks will be left on her own due to work etc? Its so difficult to know what to do re getting another due to her age etc but on the other hand she isnt used to being alone?

Thankyou x
 
No unless you really want one dont get a friend for your remaining dog. You cant replace a dog you have lost give it time and make a decision when you have had a chance to grieve losing a pet is almost like losing a family member even though you know it is coming. The old girl wont relish being played with by a younger model and you probably wouldn't like my other suggestion
 
Oh, Georgiegirl, so very very sorry for your loss. Such a magnificent age for a dog though - you clearly gave him a wonderful life.

We lost of one our dogs in November (an 8 year old terrier cross). We had only had our other dog (2 year old border terrier) for 6 months so they hadn't had long as a pair, unlike your two. However Katy had come to us from a home with about 12 dogs (a good situation, not a bad one!) and had never lived without other dogs.

We were worried she would miss canine company. Dogs are social animals of course, and we enjoyed having 2, so we do plan to get another at some point but we are in the process of moving house so will wait until that is over.

Katy has actually been fine. She is enjoying getting all the attention. She is very friendly so always finds a pal to run around with in the park, so she maintains canine contact.

I believe dogs are more adaptable than we give them credit for sometimes! If the owners and the household are relaxed and treat each new situation as normal, then the dog will be relaxed too.

Thinking of you at this sad time.
 
Sorry to hear this - am going through same as we put our 15 yo BC to sleep on Saturday.

Our Bernese Mountain Dog is rising 7 and always known her. We brought the body home; he sniffed and ignored; then went back and sniffed again; barked twice and then whined.

Unless you show those remaining the body, they will search for their mate for a while.

We are lucky in that we have the land to bury all animals at home. At some point in the future I will laugh about OH and I trying to dig a grave in the frozen ground on Saturday.
 
A few years ago our beloved dalmatian was put down due to cancer and our ridgeback was heartbroken as were we, she wouldn't eat, wouldn't play, she just shut off. we left her a few weeks to see if she would come through but she didn't she just became more and more depressed. so we decided to get another dog as she was pining for company, we went to the rhodesian ridgeback rescue and rescued another ridgeback and she perked up a lot and slowly over the weeks began to be herself again and it then became that she and him were inseparable the would lie intertwined and were obsessed. if you do this try to get one near her age so you don't end up in the same upsetting situation for the next dog as all they really want is company!!
 
windand rain - actually I dont like your suggestion (and find it a little offensive) that I am wanting to 'replace' my old boy never mind what you are implying with your 'other suggestion'. No dog will EVER replace the dog I have grown up with since being a 10 year old (18 years!) I just want what is best for my other little one as she has never been alone and actually is as fit, alert and active as dogs half her age. But yes it is very much losing a member of the family.

red- thankyou its reassuring to hear that your dog adapted to a more solitary lifestyle, they are such robust toughies sometimes :)

Nicnac - I am so sorry for your loss, I hope you are all as well as can be xxxxx

Eventer- your situation is the flip side to what the others have described and Im glad it worked out well for you! I guess its just a case of watching and waiting to see how she is
 
I think at her age you might want to be careful introducing a new dog, for instance a boisterous puppy might be a right pain in the jacksie for her, an older rescue or rehome might suit better, or you might prefer her to live out her twilight years as an only dog, getting all the attention. I normally would say not to over-fuss a dog and be quite brisk and businesslike following a bereavement, as it can make anxiety worse (re-inforcing that the dog is 'right' to feel subdued) but you know your own dog and it depends on her reaction. But it might be a wrench for her if she is getting loads of fuss now, which will tail off when people go back to work.
 
So sorry for your loss. We lost our older collie last year (a year ago tomorrow :( ) our younger dog has settled down quite happily since and she had never been an only dog before and really looked up to the older one. Give it time I think your little girl will be fine.
 
oh im sorry for your loss :( :(


my dog pined when she lost her friend - but took me another 2 years to convince the familly she NEEDED a friend....


if you are going to get another dog tbh an older dog who wont hastle the old girl would probably be better?


oldies club - they are on facebook and do brilliant work!.... some lovely dogs desparately needing a home
 
When we lost our Labrador 3 years ago, we were absolutely gutted. Our remaining 2 dogs seemed OK, except when out walking, if my younger dog saw a Labrador, she would rush up to it expecting it to be her old friend. It was heartbreaking honestly...then my neighbours told me that this same dog was going out into the garden, and simply howling. This behaviour was completely alien. Everyone then said the solution was to get another dog. I'll be honest, I really didn't want another dog, I was still grieving for my Lab, and most certainly we were not looking for a new addition. I hate people saying 'replace'. You can never replace one dog with another. You wouldn't tell humans they were 'replacing' their partner if they remarried after being widowed would you???
By a series of coincidences I met a very good Lab breeder, so just after a year of losing our beautiful girl, we welcomed a new Lab into our home. The first few days were a bit fraught but within a week, our new little pup was firmly established with our other 2 dogs, and we've never looked back. I avoid comparisons, no 2 dogs are the same, they all have different characteristics, and we just love our new dog for being her!
I guess it is all too easy to put our own emotions on to our pets. When we said goodbye to our old Lab, she was at home and our 2 other dogs were able to be present to help them understand that she had died. That's what people advised, whether it truly helped, I'll never know.
You must allow yourself time to grieve. Do you have any friends with dogs that you could meet up with and walk together? Maybe you could foster a dog to see whether a new friend might help your dog to cope? Rescue centres are crying out for foster homes. Just take your time, be honest about how you really feel, and take it from there.
 
Glad I saw this, I'm sorry about your boy, our Rottweiler passed away peacefully in her sleep nearly 3wks ago & our 1yr old JR x YT is crying and looking for her. I feel helpless & we are all grieving.
 
So sad to read of your loss and all the others experiencing the same.
We have just received back a pup we sold 4 and a half years ago for exactly this reason, her lifetime companion died and the family weren't willing (well the wife anyway) to get aother dog. Unfortunately as it was just before Christmas, the family were all home for about 3 weeks and she wasn't left alone until they went back to work in January. She has developed serious separation anxiety and was barking/howling all day and all night (she lived outside). Since we have had her she is like a shadow, I can't leave her shut in anywhere, she thrashed her way out of a crate the first night the the second night destroyed my kitchen door. She is now sleeping upstairs with us :-(
She is fine with our other dogs (her Mum, sister and another) but they have not substituted for human company. I have to go back to work next week (I took the week off to settle her in) so I am praying the person my vet knows who is retired and home all the time, will take her.
The point of my story is be careful that you don't let your dog become dependant on you instead of their companion, SA is horrendous.
 
So sorry, the longer we have them the greater the loss seems! When we lost our Border Terrier the JRT he brought up definitely was grieving for about a month, but we all need time and I'm sure she will adapt. Hugs to you and your remaining girl xxx
 
The only definite is there is no right or wrong way of doing things. I don't think the other poster actually meant you could replace your dog, just misworded. We all know you can't ever replace a much loved dog who was part of your family. However, at some point, most people can find they can take on another dog but they just take a different piece of you. Some people need to find another dog almost immediately, some need longer to grieve and come to terms. Took me 6 months to just be able to accept I had lost my first dog. In terms of a companion for your dog, I think you need to put your own needs on an equal basis with your dog. If you are not ready, then you will find it hard to accept the new dog and might even resent it slightly. If you feel you can make room, then maybe consider some rescue options - whereby you can take your JRT to be introduced to different dogs and see which dogs click with you.

Whatever, don't rush into anything. Be driven by what your heart tells and I am very sorry you have lost your little dog. Platitudes about a good life etc don't really mean a lot when you are grieving but maybe knowing that on this board, nearly everyone has been in your shoes, just might help you a bit.
 
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