Hello everyone, any advice much appreciated x

[Kirstyx1]

Hi, apologies for the long winded post. I'm new to the site after restarting horse riding one week ago after a 15 year gap :/ any advice would be much appreciated. I still have the same mare, who hasn't been ridden for 15 years, she has had lots of human contact and was bombproof in traffic with no vices just a slightly edgey side being arab x cob. She is 20 now and I have done a bit of ground work on her, ridden her round the paddock for about 15 minutes at a walk only and she is proving to be very well behaved just a little spooky here and there so to speak. Everyone thinks she is marvellous after 15 years as do I but on the other hand I feel really nervous of what might happen. What if she bolts or trys to throw me suddenly, out of the blue. I also very aware of the weight and power horses have and all this makes me very nervous to do alot with her though I desperately want to. Going through a bit of a bad time in my life for a while now and the thought of getting back to riding for good fills me with hope yet my imagination of what ifs is spoiling it for me. I have generalized anxiety disorder anyway and can't afford a trainer right now to help me. I used to show jump her and cross country and now I am frightened to ride her at all pretty much when she hasn't actually done anything wrong yet. The worst she would do in the past is side step on her own and go behind the bit slightly now and then. Even that worries me as I wonder what could be next. I am sorry for the long winded post x

 

[Fabled Thoroughbred]

Hey,

If you are genuinely frightened to ride your mare, I would try to “work up” to riding her through lessons horses while also bonding with your mare to develop the important mutual trust. If you can’t afford a trainer, could you “work off” payments for lessons and\or supervision\guidance? Many trainers I’ve worked with are happy to help you if you do some barn chores(cleaning tack, mucking stalls, etc.).

 

[Kirstyx1]

Thank you Fabled Thouroughbred, and that is a great idea as a way of getting help through a trainer. I hadn't thought of that. However I live in the countryside with a field about 40 minutes from the nearest trainer and keep my horse at home. Do you think it could still work if I contacted them and took her to them maybe? My family do their best but their not horse people. Bonding with her again over time wouldhopefully help alot. Thank you for replying x

 

[D66]

Take her for a walk in hand round the farm or village a few times then do the same route ridden, may be with a friend walking or cycling.
Good luck, you’ll enjoy it when you get going.
Also look out an NLP counsellor in your area.

 

[Kirstyx1]

Thank you D66. Doing the route in hand then ridden is something I overlooked and will try, good idea. What is a NLP counsellor? Thanks for replying x

 

[D66]

Neuro-linguistic programming. Aims to reset your thought patterns. Ie scary and exciting are the same physical feeling - how you label it affects how you respond.

 

[Fabled Thoroughbred]

I’m happy to help. You could always double check farms near you, and I think some trainers allow you to temporarily take your horse to them for training. If there aren’t any trainers that do that or you don’t want to send her to someone else, you could ask someone to “spot” you if you want to do the retraining. That’s just an idea, if you’re uncomfortable you shouldn’t do it by yourself. You could trailer her to a barn once weekly (it’s a lot of driving for more than that.) and seek guidance from there. I hope this was helpful to you, and good luck!!

 

[Kirstyx1]

Neuro-linguistic programming. Aims to reset your thought patterns. Ie scary and exciting are the same physical feeling - how you label it affects how you respond.

Thank you D66 that does sound interesting I will look into this x

 

[Kirstyx1]

I’m happy to help. You could always double check farms near you, and I think some trainers allow you to temporarily take your horse to them for training. If there aren’t any trainers that do that or you don’t want to send her to someone else, you could ask someone to “spot” you if you want to do the retraining. That’s just an idea, if you’re uncomfortable you shouldn’t do it by yourself. You could trailer her to a barn once weekly (it’s a lot of driving for more than that.) and seek guidance from there. I hope this was helpful to you, and good luck!!

Thanks very much Fabled Thouroughbred. I will definitely look into this. I school her in the smaller field but when I did join up with her years ago she would occasionally jump right out into the next feild and although she never attempted that while I was on board it does worry me she will bolt and try now as it has been many years since riding so it puts me off really trying. Senseless perhaps as she was never a bolter? X

 

[The Trooper]

Where has this fear of bolting come from? Something has to have planted that seed considering she has never done it before?

 

[Kirstyx1]

That's true, a mare my sister owned bolted with me years ago and I never rode her again, perhaps it was that. It's just strange because my mare never has. I wonder that she might as it's been 15 years since being ridden. She is very responsive when ridden. Very frustrated with myself. Thanks for replying x

 

[Kirstyx1]

P.s. I feel as though she must start doing something wrong soon as it's been years since being ridden

 

[Fabled Thoroughbred]

I would really recommend a trainer to restart & or refresh her. A professional will most likely know how to curb any bad habits before they become uncontrollable. 🙂🙂Good luck!!

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

I don't know where you live OP, but if you're anywhere Devon I know someone who could help you as I do think that you need a sensitive professional to help you at this time. If there is someone you could box over to, and IF they are the "right" sort of professional, if you see what I mean, that that might be the best way forward. When I say the "right" sort of professional, the last thing either you or the horse need is someone who will bully and rush you, and/or adopt a harsh approach.

You don't say why the mare hasn't been ridden for 15 years......... none of my business but it seems a shame somehow as she sounds lovely!

You say you have hopped on her and ridden her in the school, and I think after such a long time of not being ridden, she's actually done marvellously! She sounds a really nice genuine sort.

What you really need to do is bond with her, and you need to start small and build things up. You both need to build up trust with each other, mare needs to be able to trust you as her Herd Leader, and there is, in my experience, no substitute for groundwork. Spend time with your mare, chill out with her, rub her neck, pick up her feet, handle her, make her move around you on the ground using your hand where your leg would be. Progress to leading her around in circles, you could put up a little TREC/obstacle course in the arena and lead her round that. Then when you're confident, tack her up and hop on, and do the same! If there's someone with a nice schoolmaster-sort of horse you could ride out with for a little hack, that would be good, or perhaps someone could walk or cycle beside you to start with.

Have a look at the Michael Peace website, and also Kelly Marks. I think they've both written books. They both adopt a really practical approach to things; I saw Michael a good few years ago giving a demmo at a horsey event near me and I was very impressed. My trainer rates him very highly.

Whilst appreciating your budget is a bit tight (know the feeling! Don't we all!) I do think that you need someone to work alongside you, certainly for the first few months, to mentor you a bit and whilst gently challenging you, to be able to give you a safety zone. I've found this invaluable in my own horsey journey, and if you have transport, it would be worth seeking out the right person to help you and your mare re-discover each other.

Good Luck!