Help & Advice needed for loss of confidence

M

MadMacher

Well-Known Member
Joined
16 November 2007
Messages
264
Location
Wiltshire
www.madmacher.co.uk
I have just got myself a fantastic new horse, but I just am so unsure about us!
I used to own a 13.2hh pony who everyone on the yard called (pony from hell).
I had him for a year, and in that year, i must of been thrown off, bucked off, spun off any way he could, got me off.
I had everything checked on him, you know the usual, back, teeth, feet, everthing you could possibly imagine, but to no avail.
I sent him away and the lady fell in love with him so i sold him to her.
I then got a fantastic 16.hh Tobiano Gelding.
This was back in July 07 and we had been doing great, jumping and just having fun, then my friend and i was out hacking one day through a small village, only to encounter the biggest lorry possible.
Well my friends horse that was in front, span round bolting the other way, crashed straight into us and my horse then went to turn and run away too, i still had hold of himand he was rearing up!
The lorry driver didnt even stop, there was i on the floor rolling around in pain from my leg and he had gone, there were cars both sides waiting to pass and not one person got out to help!
I got back up, walked along for a while they got back up on board and rode back to the yard.
We were all very shook up and i had actually tore my tendons from my big toe all the way up my left leg and i was on crutches for 3 weeks.
I started getting back on and riding slowly, but I am just so nervous all the time, yesterday he was fresh from being in his stable all night and i was riding out with a friend, but he was excited and started just jigging sideways and i got so nervous and i just don't know what to do, all the way round on our ride he was striding out and I felt like he was going to take off with me!
On the way back he had his head down and was pulling the reins out of my hands all the time!
A few years ago before i got the (pony from hell) i wouldn't of battered an eyelid at any of this but after having him and then this accident my confidence in myself and my riding has gone.
I really need some help and advice on this, I dont know what to do, and it is starting to effect me and my wonderful new horse.
I have great expectations of wanting to do a dressage test in january and jumping etc. But at the moment, just getting on him to hack out or go in the school, makes me feel sick, I get on and do it, but if i can find an excuse i wont bother.
Please please please all help greatly appreciated.
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heyy , it may be best start by just walking your horse around the school taking him out may exite him and make you nervous , this well then pass to your horse making him play up making the situation worse. It is best to just walk calmly around the school for a while , one you feel you are able to trot and canter take each stage slowely and relax which will also make your horse relax.I wouldnt straight away go back on the roads give it time and your confednce should be back to how it once was, not until you feel you are able to again go on the roads , go for a walk down a quite lane or road to build both your horse and your confidence again . Hope this has helped you x
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grin.gif
 
Hi ya,

I lost my confidence a little while ago after falling of my horse. I felt stupid because i've ridden all sorts of silly horses in the past and this was the first time it had affected me. basically i had a bit of time not riding (my instructor schooled him for me) and then we came to the decision that not riding was making the situation worse, the less i rode the more my fear built (i have to say it was an irrational fear though as my horse hadn't put a foot wrong and the fall was through my own silly mistake not his).

What helped me was to start getting on him at the end of my instructors schooling sessions just for a few minutes at a time and over time i've got my confidence back. I think taking small steps helps, always get off thinking you want to do more so it's always a positive ending. Also watching someone else helped as i could see nothing was going to happen and also in my mind i had the reassurance that my horse wasn't fresh when i got on so was less likely to act up!

I started off just walking on the lunge, then a bit of trot, then off the lead etc. I feel really confident now and am back enjoying riding again.

Hope this helps. xxx
 
If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't
It's almost a cinch you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you've lost,
For out in the world we find
Success beings with a fellow's will;
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you're outclassed, you are:
You've got to think high to rise.
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can
 
Hi really sorry to hear about your accident, sounds like you were having a great time with him up till then. I really think you need some support to help you get over this because once lost it can take a long time to build your confidence back up. Can you ride out with someone with you, on a lead rein if ncessary just so you start to feel confident that he wont actually do anything ? Or find a good instructor, explain what happened and ask for their help to build your confidence back up.
Good luck
smile.gif
 
Why don't you forget riding on the roads for a while and just concentrate on building up your confidence in the school. Not just by riding your horse but by lunging him, and then getting on him afterwards when you know he is too tired to do anything and you feel happy in your own mind. Don't beat yourself up, you don't have to ride him if your not in the right state of mind, just do whatever you feel comfortable with.

The other thing I would suggest and do it immediately is get a good instructor who understands how you feel and can give you confidence, and because he/she is there you will push yourself that bit more.

I wouldn't stress about it, it'll make it worse. Any normal person would be nervous after what you have been through, but do remember, these things are a rarity and fortunately don't happen very often. You were just very unlucky.

GL
 
[ QUOTE ]
Hi ya,

I lost my confidence a little while ago after falling of my horse. I felt stupid because i've ridden all sorts of silly horses in the past and this was the first time it had affected me. basically i had a bit of time not riding (my instructor schooled him for me) and then we came to the decision that not riding was making the situation worse, the less i rode the more my fear built (i have to say it was an irrational fear though as my horse hadn't put a foot wrong and the fall was through my own silly mistake not his).



[/ QUOTE ]


This is pretty much exactly what happened to me. I hurt my back quite badly when i fell & couldn't ride for weeks. It wasnt the fall that dented my confidence (i'd fell loads of times before) it was going over what if's & maybe's in my head for weeks afterwards. I've never had an accident out hacking but for some reason it scares me to death now, even though i'll school quite happily. Going out with a friend who's horse is absolutley bombproof gives me more confidence as i know mine wont play up if the others aren't. Also building it up gradually, going a bit further each day helped me a lot. Is there any way you could go out on a really bombproof horse for the first few times, just to get confidence in hacking up a little before tackling it on your boy?

Good luck with whatever you try. You can overcome your fears, it just takes time.
smile.gif
 
Sorry to hear you've had such a bad experience, but you must tell yourself that this was just a freak accident and neither you or your horse were to blame.

When your confidence is lost, fear takes over. Your thought processes become completely irrational and you conjure up thoughts that exacerbate the fear.

Dont beat yourself up, do the smallest thing each day and congratulate yourself afterwards. Very slowly build yourself back up and you will soon be back where you were before.
 
[ QUOTE ]
I have just got myself a fantastic new horse, but I just am so unsure about us!
I used to own a 13.2hh pony who everyone on the yard called (pony from hell).
I had him for a year, and in that year, i must of been thrown off, bucked off, spun off any way he could, got me off.
I had everything checked on him, you know the usual, back, teeth, feet, everthing you could possibly imagine, but to no avail.
I sent him away and the lady fell in love with him so i sold him to her.
I then got a fantastic 16.hh Tobiano Gelding.
This was back in July 07 and we had been doing great, jumping and just having fun, then my friend and i was out hacking one day through a small village, only to encounter the biggest lorry possible.
Well my friends horse that was in front, span round bolting the other way, crashed straight into us and my horse then went to turn and run away too, i still had hold of himand he was rearing up!
The lorry driver didnt even stop, there was i on the floor rolling around in pain from my leg and he had gone, there were cars both sides waiting to pass and not one person got out to help!
I got back up, walked along for a while they got back up on board and rode back to the yard.
We were all very shook up and i had actually tore my tendons from my big toe all the way up my left leg and i was on crutches for 3 weeks.
I started getting back on and riding slowly, but I am just so nervous all the time, yesterday he was fresh from being in his stable all night and i was riding out with a friend, but he was excited and started just jigging sideways and i got so nervous and i just don't know what to do, all the way round on our ride he was striding out and I felt like he was going to take off with me!
On the way back he had his head down and was pulling the reins out of my hands all the time!
A few years ago before i got the (pony from hell) i wouldn't of battered an eyelid at any of this but after having him and then this accident my confidence in myself and my riding has gone.
I really need some help and advice on this, I dont know what to do, and it is starting to effect me and my wonderful new horse.
I have great expectations of wanting to do a dressage test in january and jumping etc. But at the moment, just getting on him to hack out or go in the school, makes me feel sick, I get on and do it, but if i can find an excuse i wont bother.
Please please please all help greatly appreciated.
frown.gif


[/ QUOTE ]THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR HELP AND ADVICE ON THIS MATTER, HAVE STARTED TRYING WHAT EVERYONE HAS SAID. XX
 
Thank you for your help and advice.
I am thankful I am not going mad, as i really thought I was!!
I am new to this forum thing, and seem to be going round in circles on here, and missing loads of things i think!!!
 
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