Help and Advice for a TB mumma...giving up not an option.

[Tribbsy90]

Hey!

I'm desperately seeking any help and guidance from you lovely lot.

Excuse the long post, there is a few things I'd like advice on ?

After a very long break from riding (around 12 years ?). I dove in at the deep end and bought myself a horse to get back into the saddle. A beautiful 17hh gelding TB. A TB wouldn't have been my initial choice to get back in the saddle but it was actually my partner who seeked him out and made the arrangements.

A little background on my Big Friendly Giant. He is a 16 year old ex racer, flat, point to point, team chasing, cross country, 1 season of hunting etc. He fell 3 times in his racing career, was pushed way too hard too fast and unfortunately suffered the consequences. When I had his back checked, his back and neck were in such bad shape, he couldn't even pee in the proper position, the lady believed that he had never had it rectified after 3 bad falls. Once that was done he had a complete new lease of life.

He came to me in very poor condition, completely lifeless, like he was given up on and he too had given up on himself and was very untrusting. It has taken around 16 months of me owning him and he has finally developed a beautiful personality although slightly Bipolar at times. He looks healthier and happier than ever. He is a completely different horse to when he first arrived.

He is a very kind beautiful soul. He is the ultimate gentlemen... at times ?. Happier and healthier than ever. So giving up on him is NOT an option...

However, last year I had a fall and a very nasty one at that where I broke my tib, fib, and ankle. Required surgery with some lovely metal work from ankle to knee. And 10 months later i am currently waiting for another operation on it.

It became apparant that my BFG was never reschooled properly. It took months to get him to stand at a mountain block. However, he is very good in the school albeit lazy and still needing improvement schooling. Never bucks or rears. Has never bolted. Although an actual giant baby who spooks at the most random things and even this he just steps to the side.

My problem here is, prior to my fall I had only just started regaining confidence since it had been so long since I rode. Now, I have had a fall, which was absolutely not his fault it was a big freak accident, I now need the ultimate confidence to get back on him.

My questions here are:

For anyone that has had a fall, how did you get the confidence to get back on?

For my BFG, although not strong or forward, he is a TB. What would be the best bit for ultimate control but not too much to annoy him? Would just like something to give me that extra bit of confidence and control with him.

Any advice on a spooky/anxious TB? I have recently started No More Nerves natural remedy to see if this works. Anyone had experience with this? Or anything different?

Any advice from people on owning a TB would be greatly appreciated. Prior to him I had only ridden cobs.

Thanks in advance ?

 

[Spotherisk]

I’ve done the complete loss of confidence thing before - my horse was coming back off loan and I was terrified of riding him. I started with walking one circle in the school, with a friend alongside. I continued like this, tiny tiny steps, until my relationship with my horse gelled and we went for a hack, again with a friend on foot, and we trotted, and it was all good. This was years ago, but I think it took about six weeks to get to that level. Good luck.

 

[mariew]

I suggest you get a good trainer to watch you from the ground and help you out. Also some lessons on a bombproof horse at a riding school.
I'm not sure it's fair on the horse to put a stronger bit in if he doesn't need it, especially if your go to reaction (sometimes naturally) will be to grab hold of the reins if something happens. Better with a neck strap maybe.

 

[honetpot]

I have only had one TB, who trained for the racecourse and then became a show horse, and he had a very sensitive mouth, and was just ridden in snaffle on an almost no contact rein, anything else and he would back off the had. He could actually do a very nice dressage test, but you had to have very soft hands, elbows and shoulders. Sometimes you have to adjust your riding style to the horse, its unlikely he is going to change, and 'schooling' needs development of a whole new set of muscles.
My daughter was a very anxious rider, and we spent a lot of time working on getting her to relax in walk and doing not much, and eventually they developed an understanding.

 

[Mrs G]

I’ve recommended it so many times, in here and in ‘real life’ - get a balance strap put on your saddle. They cost less than a tenner and mine has been invaluable in the confidence it has given me. Any time I’m feeling nervous or my horse is feeling spooky/excited/worried I hook a couple of fingers round it (or hang onto it for grim death - it depends!) The good thing about these is you can hang on as tight as you need to and your horse can’t feel it - so you’re not transmitting your tension on the rein or to the bit, so no catching him in the mouth to make things worse.

 

[maya2008]

I would get a confident sharer (or a pro to ride him a few times a week if you can afford it). Your horse sounds like he needs confidence from his rider and at the moment you cannot give him this. Once he is going well for them, you can watch and see for yourself that he is fine.

Having someone else ride him will also take the edge off his energy. In my experience, a TB that does plenty of cantering each week is calm and easy to ride with minimal spooking. One who doesn’t do enough fast work will be wound up and liable to spook (or in the case of my old mare, spook and leap about!). Even our steady cob needs to do enough work each week to keep his halo nice and polished. If he has too many days off, he ends up full of just enough energy to spook my husband - which then spooks the horse, and that’s just a bad experience all round!

My old TB was dangerous coming off box rest, feisty if not in enough work, yet you could put a beginner on her if she was in full work and she would keep them safe. In her retirement, she still races around the field and loves to stretch her legs and run flat out!

 

[magicmoments]

Hey!

I'm desperately seeking any help and guidance from you lovely lot.

Excuse the long post, there is a few things I'd like advice on ?

After a very long break from riding (around 12 years ?). I dove in at the deep end and bought myself a horse to get back into the saddle. A beautiful 17hh gelding TB. A TB wouldn't have been my initial choice to get back in the saddle but it was actually my partner who seeked him out and made the arrangements.

A little background on my Big Friendly Giant. He is a 16 year old ex racer, flat, point to point, team chasing, cross country, 1 season of hunting etc. He fell 3 times in his racing career, was pushed way too hard too fast and unfortunately suffered the consequences. When I had his back checked, his back and neck were in such bad shape, he couldn't even pee in the proper position, the lady believed that he had never had it rectified after 3 bad falls. Once that was done he had a complete new lease of life.

He came to me in very poor condition, completely lifeless, like he was given up on and he too had given up on himself and was very untrusting. It has taken around 16 months of me owning him and he has finally developed a beautiful personality although slightly Bipolar at times. He looks healthier and happier than ever. He is a completely different horse to when he first arrived.

He is a very kind beautiful soul. He is the ultimate gentlemen... at times ?. Happier and healthier than ever. So giving up on him is NOT an option...

However, last year I had a fall and a very nasty one at that where I broke my tib, fib, and ankle. Required surgery with some lovely metal work from ankle to knee. And 10 months later i am currently waiting for another operation on it.

It became apparant that my BFG was never reschooled properly. It took months to get him to stand at a mountain block. However, he is very good in the school albeit lazy and still needing improvement schooling. Never bucks or rears. Has never bolted. Although an actual giant baby who spooks at the most random things and even this he just steps to the side.

My problem here is, prior to my fall I had only just started regaining confidence since it had been so long since I rode. Now, I have had a fall, which was absolutely not his fault it was a big freak accident, I now need the ultimate confidence to get back on him.

My questions here are:

For anyone that has had a fall, how did you get the confidence to get back on?

For my BFG, although not strong or forward, he is a TB. What would be the best bit for ultimate control but not too much to annoy him? Would just like something to give me that extra bit of confidence and control with him.

Any advice on a spooky/anxious TB? I have recently started No More Nerves natural remedy to see if this works. Anyone had experience with this? Or anything different?

Any advice from people on owning a TB would be greatly appreciated. Prior to him I had only ridden cobs.

Thanks in advance ?

I've had a couple of tb's and ridden many others. I think a combination of things would work.
Frequent in hand work before getting on board
To get him using himself correctly, especially in view of his previous injuries.
Riding other horses to get you back in the swing.
Mechanical horse sessions
Off horse exercises for you
When you start a little every day
The more you can do before, the more confident you will be, but depends on your time and money available.
I would also say read your horse before you get on. if for any reason they are tense before you get on, keep to inhand work that day, or try later.

 

[Ratface]

I can recommend having a balance strap! The Christ Lammfelle saddle that I use on the spooky Arabian has one built in. I always have one finger hooked under it.
On previous orthodox saddles, I've used leather lipstraps, orthe less elegant alternative, binder twine.
I use the above devices to avoid near-miss unplanned dismounts and unpleasant sideways lurches. I'm old and am unlikely to bounce well!

 

[pistolpete]

Some rider confidence courses. Loads on line or in person. Balance strap as previously mentioned an air jacket if funds allow and lessons. A good instructor eyes on the ground worth their weight in gold. Mine used to walk hack with me. So helpful.

 

[HeresHoping]

I am sorry.

I lost my bottle completely and utterly as a result of the behaviour of an ex P2Per who'd had a fall. I was no novice, but like you had had a break for a number of years. I went from being able to jump on anything to being absolutely petrified.

He was spooky to start with, and then the more work he did, the worse his behaviour got. I didn't fall off, but one day he bronked for a full two minutes. I knew if I hit the floor he would probably have tried to kill me. The instructor couldn't get near him to help me. When he finally stopped my legs were like jelly and my heart in my mouth. After that, whenever I went to tack him up, I was shaking like a leaf. One day, a freak accident due to some sedalin not working and an incident with the farrier (the red flags you pretend you can't see when you are determined to win this out at all odds... not liking back feet being shod) resulted in the vet being called. Turned out he had kissing spines. Not badly - we thought we'd try some rehab first. He started to get quite vicious, coming out of the stable with front legs in the air. In the end my vet said that he was doing away with the horse before the horse did away with me. Transpired, at autopsy, he had broken his pelvis in a fall and it had never healed. His SI joint was held together by torn threads.

My next horse had a field accident 3 months after I got him. To be honest, I was never happy riding him - he was also big. My confidence fully returned thanks to a little Connemara ex broodmare who was huge amounts of fun. And close to the ground.

Can I suggest you find something small and safe to ride for a few weeks until you get your bottle back? And find someone to ride your TB alongside you?

 

[Marigold4]

I suggest you get a good trainer to watch you from the ground and help you out. Also some lessons on a bombproof horse at a riding school.
I'm not sure it's fair on the horse to put a stronger bit in if he doesn't need it, especially if your go to reaction (sometimes naturally) will be to grab hold of the reins if something happens. Better with a neck strap maybe.

I would be wary of using a trainer - some will feel it is their job to push you further than you would like. Many have never understood the fear nervous riders feel and may leave you feeling negative about yourself. I would enlist a friend/OH to help. Then you are in charge. YOU say exactly what you want to achieve each day and they follow your instructions till you feel ready for more. Good luck. Sounds like you've done a great job with your horse.

 

[ycbm]

My recommendation would be to take some lessons at a riding school to get you back in the swing and your atrophied muscles back in shape before you start riding your own horse again. I hope it all goes well for you both.
.

 

[Cortez]

I would be wary of using a trainer - some will feel it is their job to push you further than you would like. Many have never understood the fear nervous riders feel and may leave you feeling negative about yourself. I would enlist a friend/OH to help. Then you are in charge. YOU say exactly what you want to achieve each day and they follow your instructions till you feel ready for more. Good luck. Sounds like you've done a great job with your horse.

Sorry, what? Marigold4 I feel your view of trainers/instructors is seriously out of whack: it is the trainer’s job to teach you how to ride and in the process keep you safe, not to make you “feel good about yourself”. There are many trainers who specialise in teaching nervous riders and I would suggest that the OP searches out someone who is experienced with loss of confidence.

 

[TotalMadgeness]

Lots of groundwork (you could use some Trec obstacles to make it fun) and lots of in hand hacking (start with short easy walks) will boost your fitness and confidence as well as help you bond with your horse. Also try some long reining if you can. When it comes to riding him again start with an in hand session / lunge session / loose school then finish off the session with mounting him and simply sitting for a minute giving him treats and rubs, then get off again. Next time do the same but ask him to walk a small circle or even a half circle. Praise/treat/get off. Each time do a bit more but stay in walk. Mix in some trec obstacles or poles. Do lots of school movements (shallow loops, half circles, leg yield, shoulder in, etc). Always check him first for any tightness or unhappiness before you ride. If he's looking uncomfortable or tense don't ride, do something else. Equally, if you're having a bad day don't ride, do something else. Above all, take your time and don't beat yourself up if you plan a ridden schooling session and end up doing some groundwork instead. It really doesn't matter. Good luck!

Edited to add - if you can try and see a physio who specialises in horse riders to help you out. Look at 'activate your seat' too. I also use balance straps - they are very effective in helping me sit properly especially when I'm having a wobbly moment.

 

[milliepops]

I would be wary of using a trainer - some will feel it is their job to push you further than you would like. Many have never understood the fear nervous riders feel and may leave you feeling negative about yourself. I would enlist a friend/OH to help. Then you are in charge. YOU say exactly what you want to achieve each day and they follow your instructions till you feel ready for more. Good luck. Sounds like you've done a great job with your horse.

conversely, the right trainer can work wonders. although i'm a competent rider my confidence was in tatters earlier this year because of various non-riding life events and my trainer has put me back together in a few sessions without pushing at all. it's a skill that not all instructors have, granted, but it will be bread and butter to a good one.

I echo suggestions to ride some known quantities at a RS or similar so you start to get a good feeling in the saddle again OP.

 

[canteron]

Do some fun groundwork with him - working towards doing ‘liberty’ training. It totally changed my relationship with my difficult horse, as they have the option of leaving you at liberty it means you have to be completely clear in what you expect and also it really builds up the trust and bond between you.

It is also the best feeling in the world when you connect - and it a show stopping spectator sport! And of course gives you masses to do on the ground if you feel unsure about riding that day. In fact, if you do 10 minutes every time before you get on, it helps you assess the temperament of the horse that day.

Please PM you if you would like some thoughts on resources!

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

RS is a great idea, just to help you take the first steps back into the saddle. It might take a bit longer to feel confident with him but at least will get you started.

I don't get the 'not giving up on him' bit. You aren't giving up on him, he's not going to mind if you don't ride him for a while and if he needs the ridden work there's no shame is asking for help with that. All your good work with him is still there. Take the pressure off and do things with him in the meantime you can both enjoy without nerves ?

 

[eahotson]

Sorry, what? Marigold4 I feel your view of trainers/instructors is seriously out of whack: it is the trainer’s job to teach you how to ride and in the process keep you safe, not to make you “feel good about yourself”. There are many trainers who specialise in teaching nervous riders and I would suggest that the OP searches out someone who is experienced with loss of confidence.

There are trainers and trainers Cortez.I have an excellent one who I have had for several years but I have run throught the lot at different times.The sweet but useless and the psychopathic.One I had for a short while (and nearly caused me to give up) was the sort that if you did a perfect grand prix dressage test, followed by jumping a 5ft track perfectly and finished off by riding your horse, on a loose rein, down the nearest busy road would still say you were useless and should never be near a horse.

 

[Tribbsy90]

Morning,

Thank you all so much for your replies!

There are some absolutely amazing tips and advice here and I really appreciate it.

I've recently had to move yards who were full of people who knocked my confidence further. They absolutely hated TBs and kept telling me to get rid of him, hence the giving up is not an option, especially with how happy and healthy he is. I'm now in a much more supportive environment which will make it so much better.

Someone there also mentioned putting in a stronger bit. A snaffle wasn't quite good enough for him but a French link worked wonders and will probably keep this bit but any advice on bits they've used for their TBs is welcome.

Please keep the any advice coming. All greatly appreciated ?

 

[Peglo]

Morning,

Thank you all so much for your replies!

There are some absolutely amazing tips and advice here and I really appreciate it.

I've recently had to move yards who were full of people who knocked my confidence further. They absolutely hated TBs and kept telling me to get rid of him, hence the giving up is not an option, especially with how happy and healthy he is. I'm now in a much more supportive environment which will make it so much better.

Someone there also mentioned putting in a stronger bit. A snaffle wasn't quite good enough for him but a French link worked wonders and will probably keep this bit but any advice on bits they've used for their TBs is welcome.

Please keep the any advice coming. All greatly appreciated ?

I get the everyone hates TB’s thing. No one particularly liked my TB and all my friends dislike the breed. (My Flo isn’t that bad but she isn’t always sweetness and smiles ?)

I didn’t have my confidence knocked but after retiring Flo I hadn’t done much riding for 4 years. When I did ride I would worry about a buck coming or things like that, stuff that never used to worry me. Then I got my new one and she’s given me all my confidence back. I’m not the best rider but I’d happily jump on another horse again without that worry of bucking. So I agree about getting lessons or riding another horse that boosts your confidence so you can feel more comfortable on your guy. I think it will make all the difference. Wishing you all the best with him.

I rode my TB in a snaffle. I didn’t know much about bits so after she took off with me I wanted something to help that not happen again. I put a running martingale on her and it really helped but more knowledgeable people here have commented that it’s maybe not that much kinder than using a stronger bit badly. I’m sure a decent instructor would be able to asses what’s best for you and your horse. ?

ETA she did a bit more than just take off with me that made me make my decision but that was the last straw. ?

 

[humblepie]

Lots of good advice and I think if you can find someone capable and competent to ride him to start off with or from time to time is a really good idea. Horses need a confident rider, that isn't one who gets cross with them, but who emits confidence to them. It isn't necessarily easy find the right person though. Every horse is different re bits - my former racehorse has the simplest bit in the tack room at the yard but a nice French link with cheeks is a good starter bit.

 

[Clodagh]

I’d stop thinking of him as a separate subspecies of horse. My worst fall was off a cob. He’s just a horse, you have lost confidence riding a horse.
I think lessons are a good idea. Rescue remedy really helped me ( I’ve no idea why or how but it did). Baby steps, you’ll get there.

 

[Regandal]

Re the bit situation, I would recommend getting a bit fit person out. Mouth conformation varies wildly even within breeds, will save you a fortune.
Also training in a reliable half halt from the seat. Made a huge difference to my confidence. Best of luck with him.

 

[Ratface]

Half halts from the seat are an excellent idea, imho. No change in a steady consistent mouth connection = no fighting the bit. Win win.

 

[leflynn]

Been here and lost confidence although not after a fall. Horse (TB) released to the wild after a LOT of spells of box rest following several injuries on the bounce years ago. Attempted the bringing back into work but after a few attempts at dealing with the rearing broncing 4 legged thing I decided it was shattering every shred of confidence I had and it was stressing me and probably him out (he wasn't deliberately nasty just overly excited). I chucked him in a field for a few weeks to think about life and formulate a plan. I ended up getting an instructor to help us get back to lunging and long reining (he would turn in on me lunging and other tricks) as a route back to being in work and getting aboard again - must add horse gets bored if he does nothing for a week even now at 16 after 11 years of ownership.

Long reigning was great as when we moved yards to a more supportive environment I had a tool to use along with lunging, he also went on a horse walker (to help regain fitness, love or hate em it worked). Doing things on the ground will help the trust and I am currently lunging thanks to the daft twit being a bit high on spring life and doing a fantastic spook while cantering out on hack (I should have known better as he's like this this time of year) and me now with a very sore/sprained ankle (the ground gets harder as you get older I'm sure). I have got back on not hesitancy as it was a joint effort and he didnt spook to get me off, he was nice enough not to bog off and or be a twit on the way home.

Also don't push yourself, do small things and do the next thing when you really want to not when you feel you should, I always think of confidence as a piggy bank, put lots of pennies in easily rather than ramming a pound coin through the hole and possibly breaking the piggy bank..

 

[mariew]

There are trainers and trainers Cortez.I have an excellent one who I have had for several years but I have run throught the lot at different times.The sweet but useless and the psychopathic.One I had for a short while (and nearly caused me to give up) was the sort that if you did a perfect grand prix dressage test, followed by jumping a 5ft track perfectly and finished off by riding your horse, on a loose rein, down the nearest busy road would still say you were useless and should never be near a horse.

So she needs to pick one who can give her confidence. I think if you are already nervous and unsure what to do you are more likely to make things much worse having a go yourself than if you have a calm and confident experienced horse person that suits you, the horse and the situation. I have had plenty of good teachers, and some not so much or I disagreed with their way of teaching. The latter I stopped using or learnt from on different ways. Kind of not rocket science to me.

 

[Jellymoon]

Bit-wise, you could try a Wilkie which would give you a bit more than a snaffle but not as much as a universal.
Riding-wise, along with all the above suggestions re trainers/riding schools/groundwork, I would also add that I would be inclined to just keep him in straight lines. Given his age and previous lifestyle and injuries he probably finds schooling physically very challenging and therefore may present unwanted behaviours which could scare you. Why not just hack him? Obv just walking him round in the school to get your confidence up is fine, but personally, I wouldn’t challenge him too much physically. Also, check and double check your tack is comfortable.

 

[J&S]

Do you have a quiet, patient friend with a quiet well mannered horse? If so, after having done all the checks and ground work and had your first few turns of the school to get your self happy in the saddle, go out for short hacks with this friend. Literally ride stride for stride with each other, only increase to trot for short controlled periods. Talk, and laugh and joke with your friend! it will relax you and comfort your horse. Gradually increase length of rides, take a step back any time you feel it necessarry. I went this route with a TB/Han mare who ditched me once too many times and we bagan this strategy in April and by Sept we were doing endurance rides on the forest.
Good luck, I hope it goes well for you.

 

[Tribbsy90]

Do you have a quiet, patient friend with a quiet well mannered horse? If so, after having done all the checks and ground work and had your first few turns of the school to get your self happy in the saddle, go out for short hacks with this friend. Literally ride stride for stride with each other, only increase to trot for short controlled periods. Talk, and laugh and joke with your friend! it will relax you and comfort your horse. Gradually increase length of rides, take a step back any time you feel it necessarry. I went this route with a TB/Han mare who ditched me once too many times and we bagan this strategy in April and by Sept we were doing endurance rides on the forest.
Good luck, I hope it goes well for you.

This is such an amazing idea and just so simple! I think I've been worrying myself so much that I've missed the simplicity and enjoyment factor!

 

[Marigold4]

Sorry, what? Marigold4 I feel your view of trainers/instructors is seriously out of whack: it is the trainer’s job to teach you how to ride and in the process keep you safe, not to make you “feel good about yourself”. There are many trainers who specialise in teaching nervous riders and I would suggest that the OP searches out someone who is experienced with loss of confidence.

But she didn't mention going to a trainer who specialises in loss of confidence, just a trainer generally.