Help and Advice for a TB mumma...giving up not an option.

[mariew]

But she didn't mention going to a trainer who specialises in loss of confidence, just a trainer generally.

Hopefully the op has a bit of common sense

 

[TPO]

Second (third and fourth) thr advice to get a trainer involved.

Whilst a change of bit to something stronger can be required and help a situation I wouldn't at this point. You have to build a foundation of understanding before increasing the pressure.

How much riding and time have tou spent around horses since the end of your 12yr break prior to buying this TB?

Based on what you've posted I'd advise that you find a good Riding School to get more experience, riding fit and build your confidence back up.

I'd ensure that horse is sound and well and thst teeth/bit/saddle all fit then perhaps send him away for 6wks of schooling with a sympathetic recommended professional.

Having had an exracer thst had a bad fall in racing I know thr severe physical issues thst caused despite regular physio along with corrective groundwork, working with vet and hoofcare professional. Sometimes they can't be fixed.

But green on green usually makes black and blue. At best I think you both need "trained" separately and continue with trainer involvement when you come to ride him again. You might also find that seeing someone else riding him helps your confidence too.

 

[Wishfilly]

Morning,

Thank you all so much for your replies!

There are some absolutely amazing tips and advice here and I really appreciate it.

I've recently had to move yards who were full of people who knocked my confidence further. They absolutely hated TBs and kept telling me to get rid of him, hence the giving up is not an option, especially with how happy and healthy he is. I'm now in a much more supportive environment which will make it so much better.

Someone there also mentioned putting in a stronger bit. A snaffle wasn't quite good enough for him but a French link worked wonders and will probably keep this bit but any advice on bits they've used for their TBs is welcome.

Please keep the any advice coming. All greatly appreciated ?

I don't want to be harsh, as I get how losses of confidence can be awful, and you've obviously had a nasty accident, but the only person who has suggested a stronger bit is you. There is no bit that will stop him spooking or make him more well schooled. Depending on what he does when he spooks, changes in bit or tack may help, but they won't be the full answer. I think sometimes we can fixate on how the right bit/tack/saddle etc will somehow solve our problems, but it's rare they are a magic bullet!

I really think, as others have suggested, getting a good, sympathetic instructor (who can ideally ride your horse too) is going to be the only long term solution. Keep sessions really within your comfort zone at first- even if that is only walking.

And yes, riding another sensible horse may really help too!

 

[Tribbsy90]

I don't want to be harsh, as I get how losses of confidence can be awful, and you've obviously had a nasty accident, but the only person who has suggested a stronger bit is you. There is no bit that will stop him spooking or make him more well schooled. Depending on what he does when he spooks, changes in bit or tack may help, but they won't be the full answer. I think sometimes we can fixate on how the right bit/tack/saddle etc will somehow solve our problems, but it's rare they are a magic bullet!

I really think, as others have suggested, getting a good, sympathetic instructor (who can ideally ride your horse too) is going to be the only long term solution. Keep sessions really within your comfort zone at first- even if that is only walking.

And yes, riding another sensible horse may really help too!

Sorry, I may not have worded it correctly so that people can understand. It's hard putting it in writing.

I meant at my previous very toxic yard where everyone liked to poke their noses in. Someone suggested a much stronger bit in regards to having ultimate control whereas I have found a French link has been the best for him. He rides best with softs hands/arms. He is very responsive. However, because someone mentioned a stronger bit, I wondered what others may use for their TBs.

He is very well behaved. His spooking isn't dangerous, just a hop to the side and a stare out. He himself is not malicious or dangerous. He is a people pleaser, and will go out of his way come rain or storm to ensure he makes the rider happy.

I know that I can't stop an animal from spooking or being silly. They have their own minds and will react the same as us humans and I can completely understand his dislike of the yellow and white writing on the road ?‍.

 

[Wishfilly]

Sorry, I may not have worded it correctly so that people can understand. It's hard putting it in writing.

I meant at my previous very toxic yard where everyone liked to poke their noses in. Someone suggested a much stronger bit in regards to having ultimate control whereas I have found a French link has been the best for him. He rides best with softs hands/arms. He is very responsive. However, because someone mentioned a stronger bit, I wondered what others may use for their TBs.

He is very well behaved. His spooking isn't dangerous, just a hop to the side and a stare out. He himself is not malicious or dangerous. He is a people pleaser, and will go out of his way come rain or storm to ensure he makes the rider happy.

I know that I can't stop an animal from spooking or being silly. They have their own minds and will react the same as us humans and I can completely understand his dislike of the yellow and white writing on the road ?‍.

Ah right, I see.

FWIW, I think if you get the right trainer in place, you will probably see some improvement in his spookiness, as he will hopefully start to be able to take a bit more confidence from his rider- I know it's really difficult when you get into the cycle of being tense because you anticipate a spook, them then feeling spooky because you are tense- it can become a really vicious cycle.

And it's not the sort of really relaxing ride you need when you are trying to rebuild your confidence.

 

[canteron]

Hi OP - I will reply to your PM asap. In the meantime if you do insta - have a look at kittyj.equestrian and follow link to Henry’s story.

Sounds a very similar situation (story about her confirmed rearer) and how she worked through it - you might relate?

Loved the statement she makes ‘It’s exhausting being scared all the time.’

I thought it inspirational - the solution was a great trainer and groundwork (groundwork is not just for pony patters!!)

 

[BronsonNutter]

I personally wouldn't rush for a stronger bit - he may well have never been ridden in anything 'more' than a snaffle and so the response you may get to a bit of a check on something stronger could well not be the one you want! Both of my exracers are in lozenge type snaffles which they like.

I've been in a similar position to you regarding the loss of confidence - I got absolutely catapulted by my young TB in November last year when jumping, stuck in hospital for a bit, pins and plates in my arm. Couldn't ride for 8 weeks, which coincided with her being stabled 24/7 (we live in a very wet area of the country). Completely lost my confidence with her, which scared me even more as I've never been a nervous rider. Things I've found that helped:

- Doing lots of groundwork - as she was stabled all the time she was very bored and began blowing her lid when doing anything in hand/lunging etc, tbh I was a bit scared of her even on the ground and she had no faith in me. We did lots of lunging, long reining, leading in hand over poles and obstacles (mastered the water tray), also things like draping tarps over her etc.
- I got back on my old boy first, who, although he is a bit wild at times, we know each other inside and out and I trust him implicitly. I had no fear at all at getting back on him and it allowed me to get back into the swing of things riding wise. Is there a horse that you trust that you could borrow?
- Full MOT for the horse - she got checked over by the big boss soundness wise, back xrays, repeat gastroscope (history of previous ulcers - some recurrence so another round of treatment for her), saddle checked and reflocked, teeth rasped. I felt happier that she had the all clear to crack on with.
- Lunging in tack before riding the first few times
- Making sure someone was there the first few times whilst I rode, in the arena, by myself.
- I didn't canter for a few weeks as I didn't feel ready
- First hack was eventful (went solo), so we then stuck to hacking with sensible friends, on routes she knew, for the next few occasions
- First time back out in the horsebox was to an indoor arena for a private lesson with an instructor that knew us both

I haven't jumped again yet, but she has jumped on the lunge, and i'm hoping that in a few months or so we will be back jumping. But if I don't feel up for it then there's no need to! We'll jump when I feel ready and accepting that has been a big step forwards confidence-wise. Also - not one person has been judgemental (to my face at least) about me admitting that I'm a bit scared, which was a surprise to me. Best of luck with your boy and I hope you both get to start having fun again soon.