help and advice wanted - please!!

J

jo1

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this is really hard to write so please bear with me.

As some of you will know I bought my beautiful mare just over 1 year ago. She has come on a long way since then. Am in the process of having her brought on and have come to a really difficult decision. As she is getting fitter and fitter I am beginning to think she is going to be too much for me. I am a fairly experianced rider and ride various horses but, and I cant believe I am admitting this, she is starting to scare me. To the stage where I am beginning to hate going up to the yard and where I really dont want to get on her. The thought is actually terrifying me. I have now got a decision to make - which is the hardest decision of my life. Do I persist and carry on, trying to gain confidence in her and in myself, or do I bite the bullet and sell her. She will make someone a fantastic horse - would make a great jumper and has paces to die for. I just know I cant do her justice and fulfil the potential that I know she has. Also if I do decide to sell her, where do I advertise her etc as she will be the first one I have sold. I think I know deep inside what I need to do but think I just need some independant views as well.

Thanks for getting to the end of this - sorry its so long, but im in tears here and really need some help!!!!!
 
If you feel she is too much for you, say goodbye now before she dents your confidence too much, you can find her a lovely home and breathe easy.
 
I am so, so sorry jo1. I have been in your situation and it is heartbreaking. You can't win really - if you keep her you will think you are wasting her by not bringing on her full potential but if you sell her you will always wonder if you could have made it with her. Its a difficult one.

Has she done anything naughty/dangerous that has scared you, or is it a gut instinct that she is too much for you?

x
 
Do what you think will make you happy in the long run. If you cant ever see yourself being happy to ride her then sell her. I found out myself that there is no point keeping a horse that scares you or you do not enjoy. I now have a wonderful horse and can happily go to the yard, tack up and go off for a ride, and have never been happier
smile.gif
 
what is she doing to knock your confidence
you say fitter.. what are you feeding? are you feeding something to make her fizzy? any piccys of her pm me ie price etc and what she has done cheers
 
thanks everyone

She is not getting anything fizzy feedwise - just chop and readygrass really. She is getting fitter as she was broke in back end of last year and gave her 3 months off so bringing her into work. She is flighty and a little naughty - but just being a typical 4yr old baby. She has had me off once and it was quite nasty. She has also had my trainer off as well once by doing the exact same thing - bt she caught my trainer by suprise. I just dont feel safe with her and have a feeling she will really hurt me. I havent had lessons on her as she is still getting the basics right but tbh i would have to get on her and really dont want to
 
I think you are right, you should sell her to a more confident home before you completely lose your confidence. The horse has probably already picked up on it and young horses need a confident rider and handler other wise you risk the situation getting worse.

You should look forward to riding and seeing your horse and you obviously arent. You will probably both be happier if you part with her. It will be hard but it is probably the sensible thing to do.
 
I think you will know deep down if this horse scares you, i did with mine. i sold him in the end and it was like a weight off my mind. i got to the point where i was dreading doing anything with him, and he knew it too. he became a chore and i just didn't enjoy it anymore. i would make excuses when friends went for a hack and they invited me, i'd say i thought he was a bit lame, i was too busy etc.

I'd find an older, easy horse if i were in your shoes, and you'll find the fun in horses again. it doesn't have to be a slog.

chin up, you'll know what the right thing to do is.

sometimes if i have to make a decision i will say 'right, im going to.......that's decided'. If i then spend the night awake, worrying that i've made the wrong decision, it prob is the wrong decision. if you decide the horsey is going, but you fret about it big time, its prob the wrong thing to do. make your decision but give yourself 24 hours to check its the right one.
x
 
i am going to give myself the rest of the week to think about it n then spend sunday taking good pics and advertise her the begnning of nxt week

i will be getting something else - a 6/7 yr old with the basics there that i can school, hack and compete
 
What is it she does...Specifically?
Is she nappy does she buck/rear etc?
Im about to send mine away to be re schooled up at a dressage yard in Essex... He's nappy and because of his size when he rears etc it can be terrifying. He managed to brake my leg 5 weeks ago, But I have decided to send him off to 'Boot camp' as I like to call it.
There are always professionals out there whu can help with some of these things. And, If shes a youngster, have you thought about sending her away to be 'produced' Or something similar?
You may find a few months hard work in the right hands will send her back a toally different horse?
However if she really has dented your confidence that much, and you dont feel you and her will ever manage to have a good pertnership - Perhpaps its for the best to sell her to someone who can manage her?
Just remember both you and the horse should be happy.
I hope itall works out
x
 
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