Help!deciding when it's time to put to sleep:(

[sparky1981]

Not sure where to start. My boy is 15.3/16hh he's middleweight but has extremely small feet (mum was 13.3hh British riding pony, dad a 16.1hh Irish draught)I've had him for 11 years he is now 16 and has now been retired for the last 2.5 years but has been in and out of work since he was 10. He bolted as a 7 year old blindly into traffic and I ended up in hospital. Put it down to being stung by a bee carried on competing for another 2 years very successfully?Had a hind fetlock injury. Vet thought he wouldn't come back into work but he did.

Fast forward abit. He Then bolted again totally unprovoked hacking back from an event and had started to refuse to jump over 2ft6/9 and shooting off on landing. Had physio and vet out. Not completely sound on flexion and showing pain through his back. Vet suggested turning away, physio wanted back X-rays due to a lack of reflexes shown through his back. Now a year or 2 before this he had started being difficult to load in a trailer and falling over with his legs in the air and thrashing. By this point he had become more of a happy hacker. Anyway back to X-rays. Due to his issues with travelling we got a mobile back X-ray out to us. Nothing shown although I know this isn't a thorough as if I'd transported him somehow to an equine hospital.

We decided to retire him for a year. He Has never come back sound. So vet comes again and arthritis found in both hocks. Had shoes with pads fitted but still not right so shoes off back in the field and in at night. So has been retired ever since. Now he isn't good at being retired as is of a very anxious nature nowadays (never use to be like this) He attaches to other horses and goes nuts if left even if another horse is around if it's not his preferred companion or if anything changes on the yard or to his or others routines.

The last 2 summers he has been extremely lame in both front feet. Diagnosed by vet with laminitis. Box rest, new diet, bare mud grazing. Now as I said he is stressy!couldnt cope with box rest and even lamer when come out the box because of arthritis. So onto bare mud. Now this was just during the summer as he was much better come winter. Not this year. Generally quite lame on short walk to field. Looks better when in the field in walk def not sound in trot. Now I'm wondering if it's laminitis or something more sinister. His confirmation is not great due to his big frame but little feet. So am wondering if navicular or the pedal bone dropping/rotating due to laminitis. He is on turmeric (no difference) also no difference with a bute a day or Devils claw, msn or other joint supplements.

I've decided come the spring I will get the vet out for full investigation again (maxed insurance previously doing this) foot xrays the works and see whether it's worth carrying on.
I love him to bits but not sure how much more I can do for him and do wonder if his now very anxious nature is pain related . He is not a horse that could live on box rest or all year round or on a mud patch. He lives for his food and I'm questioning his quality of life if I take that away as well!Sorry this is so long what would you do?

 

[Equi]

I'm sorry you are having issues. But he sounds awfully expensive for being consistently lame. If he has been lame for this long, and has been diagnosed with arthritis and has the behavioural issues because of lack of work...it really doesn't look good for him. As you say, quality of life is the main priority and he sounds uncomfortable a lot and realistically what will he be doing if he is sounder in spring? A small hack until he bolts, goes mental because he hasn't been out for so long, falls and can't get back up with you under him? Just sounds a little dangerous and you don't sound happy at all..Ive learned in my years with horses that you need to be happy - its an expensive way to feel crap! You've done more than a lot of people would do you can't say you have not tried hun

 

[minimex2]

From someone who's had to make the decision - the saying - better a day too soon than a day too late is very true.

Big hugs x

 

[Mariposa]

It is never an easy decision, but as minimex2 too says, better a day too soon... I had to make the decision for one of our retired mares last November, and I don't regret it for one moment, she is in pain. I'm so sorry you're having to make the decision, its one of the hardest things. *hugs*

 

[be positive]

Slightly irrelevant but why would anyone put an ID stallion to a RP mare, I guess they got something bigger but at what cost to his conformation which may well be the cause of him not standing up to work.

On the subject of pts, he does sound as if his stressy behaviour is linked to pain, getting upset can contribute to laminitis so needs to be avoided but if he is so clingy to one horse it becomes a real issue that is difficult to manage unless you can find somewhere with a stable herd, such as retirement livery but with the laminitis that may not be possible.

Have you had him tested for cushings or IR?
The pedal bones may well have rotated, only xrays will tell you.

I think you are doing the right thing by considering having him pts before his quality of life deteriorates further and that you should not feel guilty in any way for doing so, it can be a real drain, emotionally as well as financially, keeping a horse with conflicting problems, you cannot do right for one condition as it is wrong for the other so managing the horse takes over your life.

 

[sparky1981]

Thankyou so much for replies. He will never be ridden again as just too unpredictable and is never going to be sound enough. Ive kept on going this long as he seemed happy in the field and was much better come the winter but this year he's just not good. I've got so use to working around his issues and keeping him happy. We now have him at home with my daughters Shetland who she can't ride unless I walk him with us but due to him tripping and being unsound on the concrete particularly this is difficult. When I had a ridden horse too it was a nightmare as Even with the pony for company he would go berserk in the field or stable if I went for a ride. I now don't have a ridden horse but hope to in the future so that would need to go on livery away from him.But if he was happy I'd be prepared to do that. As I say Ive always worked around his issues and wouldn't give up. But if he gets anymore lame come the spring Im going to have to do something. Unfortunately I have a family who thinks of horses like Labradors and can't understand why I'd consider maybe putting him to sleep as he's part of the family

 

[kc100]

I really feel for you, its a very tough thing to even think about it (we are just starting to think about it for a horse I ride and its horrible even saying the words). But if the horse is stressed and anxious all the time, and to maintain him even in a mildly lame condition you'd have to put him in a routine that would make him anxious, then I think PTS would not be the wrong thing for him.

You've done all you can for him, and from the sounds of things even if you finally hit the nail on the head with what he is suffering from in the next work up, you know deep down whatever it is means he'll have to live a life he wont enjoy. The arthritis will never get better as he ages, and the conformation cannot be changed - so whatever the cause of his pain even if that is fixable, there are major issues there you cannot overcome.

Its entirely up to you whether you do the full work up again and go through that expense - if you would feel better doing it (and can afford it) because that would be doing everything for him, then go through it. But no-one would blame you right now for PTS as you've done a heck of a lot already.

You need to decide now whether you feel you have done everything you can for him (bearing in mind you can throw money at horses for years on end to no avail, there are no guarantees throwing more money at him will make much of a difference to the quality of his life). If you feel you have done everything you can, then you will feel no guilt in PTS. We can give you opinions on whether you have done all you can (and it seems we all agree you have) but that has to be your choice as its your conscience and your horse.

Whatever you decide you have been a wonderful owner and he is lucky to have had a life with you, big hugs x x

 

[sparky1981]

Be positive I too think his problems to stem back to bad breeding and cannot understand why he was bred like that. This is what I find though if I solve one problem it causes another. I've looked into retirement livery but he also stresses if in with too many other horses and runs through solid fencing and also he has to come in at night as if I try an alter the routine we get a similar reaction. I had a retired companion for him previously when in livery (costing me a fortune) he was better then but I haven't got the room here to have my daughters pony, a possible ridden horse for me and him and a retired friend which would have to be kept out of eye sight of him

 

[Equi]

Don't listen to your family, you and your horses wellbeing is the most important. Frankly i think you and your daughter would benefit much more from a nice ridden horse than this retired one who has behavioural issues. You should not need to work your life around his behaviour, especially with a daughter.

 

[mjcssjw2]

Sparky I am in a very similar position, nothing to add, but wish you the best with your descision

 

[sparky1981]

I know realistically that my life would be so much easier without him and my husband it totally supportive whatever I decide it's just the rest of the family. I'm so upset over it if they made me feel bad about it I think I'd just snap!as it's the hardest decision I've ever had to make

 

[be positive]

Having reread your OP I wonder if he doesn't have arthritis in his spine/ neck, possibly now everywhere to some extent, arthritis does tend to be something that a horse is prone to, or not, and once it takes hold can develop anywhere and deteriorate fairly rapidly, the falling over when he was younger was possibly the first sign and unfortunately your vet seemed to be of the turn away and hope for the best nature rather than proactive, you would have been covered back then for tests under insurance, all by the by.

Your most difficult task seems to be explaining to the rest of the family why it is in his best interests to be pts rather than struggling on in pain. A horse is a flight animal he may well be stressed because he knows he cannot run away from danger, not that he is actually in any but he is obviously very sensitive, if you can explain that he is scared, that when he tries to run it hurts and that there is nothing that can be done to take away the pain, that being pts is the kindest option, that he will know nothing just go quietly to sleep forever, no more fear or pain. Buy a tree or something similar to plant in his memory for them to see each day.

 

[Equi]

I know realistically that my life would be so much easier without him and my husband it totally supportive whatever I decide it's just the rest of the family. I'm so upset over it if they made me feel bad about it I think I'd just snap!as it's the hardest decision I've ever had to make

Ask them would they let a beloved labrador suffer on if it was in constant pain and going mad because of it. I don't see how anyone would let something live indefinitely with pain because they don't want to be the one to end its life. There are far worse things than death. Ive had to suffer putting two of my dogs to sleep in the same week because one took a stroke and the other just seemed to wither when she died. The stroke one was walking and breathing and eating and drinking, so i could have if i wanted to kept her alive - but she was walking in circles, had gone blind and deaf and couldn't control her bowels. She was perfectly fine one day, then the next morning was this wreck of a dog - and not my dog anymore. So i let her go. We have to decide what is best for them not us or our families.

 

[Auslander]

We had our beloved old mare PTS last Thursday. She was struggling with a worsening heart condition, which was making it very hard work for her just to exist, and she went downhill very rapidly. She was still eating, drinking and wandering around, but she suddenly got very very tired, and just looked like she had had enough. We could probably have kept her going a bit longer, but for what? I miss her terribly, but don't regret saying goodbye in the slightest. Her owner said that the hardest thing to do is to accept that you have to put aside your own need to have the horse around, and do what's right and fair for the horse.

 

[OWLIE185]

Sounds like you have done everything possible for your horse which you clearly love very much and you are clearly a very caring person.
Your horse is clearly not a happy soul anymore and probably the kindest thing you could do is to put your horse to sleep at home.

 

[iconique]

Hi OP, sounds like you are having a tough time, its a hard decision, so I suggest having a chat with the British Horse Society 'Friends at the End' Service, they know what you are going through and help loads of people with the right decision for them, number is 02476 840517 You get to talk to a person (don't worry they are used to tears!!)

 

[GemG]

Agree with other posters totally. You have done Nd tried a lot. I have thought of what I would do if I was in your position, but with my horse whom I have enjoyed so far for over 18 years and I would have to conclude, sadly, that the best thing I could do for him would be to pts.

Very difficult decision, but one we are generally all faced with at some point....

I'm sure everyone on here totally understands, and also understands how you don't want other people to judge you, but you need to stay strong and do what's right for you and ultimately your horse.

The quote about better a day early than a day late sums this up nicely. Good luck with how things go.

 

[Broodle]

Sounds like you have done everything possible for your horse which you clearly love very much and you are clearly a very caring person.
Your horse is clearly not a happy soul anymore and probably the kindest thing you could do is to put your horse to sleep at home.

Agree with this ^^^ . Tbh, it doesn't sound like your boy has much quality if life atm (sorry if that's blunt) and in your shoes I personally would pts.

As for your family, you don't need to explain the ins and outs of your decision to them. You can simply say the vet recommended pts because there was nothing else to be done. Don't fall into the trap of feeling you need to jusify your decision to others, because you don't x

 

[sparky1981]

Thankyou so much for the advice you have all made me feel abit better. It's silly but when he's actually in the field like at the moment (although I suspect he shouldn't be if it's lamintis again but barely any grass out there)he looks happy it's just when I bring him in down the drive he's lame. But I know come March we will be back to mud patch/box rest and not being able to walk. So Ive got to consider the long term not the right now!theres just a tiny bit of me that says he may suddenly be better this spring and I've selfishly put him down. I will give it a few weeks then call the vet out to see if any hope and if not i think I will have to say goodbye. We've been through so much together and he's such a huge part of my life but I need to focus on my young children and family

 

[Equi]

Hopefully the vet will be able to ease your mind in this. Some times they will just never get better. If he was not lame in winter because of lami in summer i would say keep him, but if he is lame in winter purely because of other issues which is then doubled in summer with the lami..

 

[sparky1981]

I know your right equi and know I need to do what's best for him. It's just sooooo hard

 

[southerncomfort]

It sounds like he has been in pain for quite some time and nothing you have tried so far has helped. I don't think anyone would blame you at all if you decided to call it a day.

xx

 

[Ellen Durow]

Not sure where to start. My boy is 15.3/16hh he's middleweight but has extremely small feet (mum was 13.3hh British riding pony, dad a 16.1hh Irish draught)I've had him for 11 years he is now 16 and has now been retired for the last 2.5 years but has been in and out of work since he was 10. He bolted as a 7 year old blindly into traffic and I ended up in hospital. Put it down to being stung by a bee carried on competing for another 2 years very successfully?Had a hind fetlock injury. Vet thought he wouldn't come back into work but he did.

Fast forward abit. He Then bolted again totally unprovoked hacking back from an event and had started to refuse to jump over 2ft6/9 and shooting off on landing. Had physio and vet out. Not completely sound on flexion and showing pain through his back. Vet suggested turning away, physio wanted back X-rays due to a lack of reflexes shown through his back. Now a year or 2 before this he had started being difficult to load in a trailer and falling over with his legs in the air and thrashing. By this point he had become more of a happy hacker. Anyway back to X-rays. Due to his issues with travelling we got a mobile back X-ray out to us. Nothing shown although I know this isn't a thorough as if I'd transported him somehow to an equine hospital.

We decided to retire him for a year. He Has never come back sound. So vet comes again and arthritis found in both hocks. Had shoes with pads fitted but still not right so shoes off back in the field and in at night. So has been retired ever since. Now he isn't good at being retired as is of a very anxious nature nowadays (never use to be like this) He attaches to other horses and goes nuts if left even if another horse is around if it's not his preferred companion or if anything changes on the yard or to his or others routines.

The last 2 summers he has been extremely lame in both front feet. Diagnosed by vet with laminitis. Box rest, new diet, bare mud grazing. Now as I said he is stressy!couldnt cope with box rest and even lamer when come out the box because of arthritis. So onto bare mud. Now this was just during the summer as he was much better come winter. Not this year. Generally quite lame on short walk to field. Looks better when in the field in walk def not sound in trot. Now I'm wondering if it's laminitis or something more sinister. His confirmation is not great due to his big frame but little feet. So am wondering if navicular or the pedal bone dropping/rotating due to laminitis. He is on turmeric (no difference) also no difference with a bute a day or Devils claw, msn or other joint supplements.

I've decided come the spring I will get the vet out for full investigation again (maxed insurance previously doing this) foot xrays the works and see whether it's worth carrying on.
I love him to bits but not sure how much more I can do for him and do wonder if his now very anxious nature is pain related . He is not a horse that could live on box rest or all year round or on a mud patch. He lives for his food and I'm questioning his quality of life if I take that away as well!Sorry this is so long what would you do?

I think you need to have the discussion with your vet. Tell him/her what you have told us and ask his/her advice. I'm not saying that shortage of money and/or insurance issues are a good reason for PTS but you need to include this in the talk with the vet. Your vet may very well be able to tell you what's best for your horse without putting him through the stressful rigmarole of tests

Also be very, very honest with yourself. Are you avoiding PTS because you don't want to lose him? When it comes down to it, whatever you decide has to be what's best for the horse. Over the years I've seen horses living a very sad, painful life because the owner can't bear to make the humane decisions.

 

[ridefast]

I know your right equi and know I need to do what's best for him. It's just sooooo hard

It shouldn't be hard. It can be sad, but it shouldn't be hard. This is the kindest thing you can ever do for your horse. This is a gift to him, to end his suffering.