Help dont know what to do now??

[EJ87]

Hi everyone sorry this is a long story but I just dont know what to do and would like some advice from fellow horse owners/lovers. Iv had my 14.2 11yr old mare now since may and she was bought as my first horse and was ment to be a quiet mare for a novice rider, however we have been on quite a journey! She is a nightmare when she comes into season bucking, galloping, snorting, squealing and hard to catch but we worked through it and thankfully now winter is here her seasons has settled but the main problem still stands. I find her quite a strong fast horse and due to the fact im a novice coming from riding in a riding school this could be more a problem with me than horse. However after many flying canters around my field I found an instructor that could help me and afte rfitting a flash new bit etc we were doing well I was fit to hack her out on my own and my cofidence was growing however we have hit a wall. Over the last few weeks she has bolted at a jump and I fell off and when out hacking I asked for trot and got a flying trot with many bucks added I stayed on but cofidence gone. Now in the school she just wont listen have to kick like mad to get her to trot and out hacking shes the same and constently will spin to turn towards home im trying to work with her but now my instructor announces she has got another job far away so wont be able to give me lessons anymore!! I just dont know what to do anymore I find I cant predict her anymore and think one day I may just get hurt. My instructor says I should offer a part exchange for a quiet cob but has anyone any experience of how this would work?? also my husband is the other problem he feels im going to get hurt and isnt keen on me going out on her and prob would get rid of her tomorrow and the mention of another horse is like a swear word. The thing is I really enjoy having my horse I love working with her and the company she gives me although I would like to enjoy the riding part too is there such a thing as a quiet happy go lucky cob whos happy to be treated as a pet and go for the odd ride and hack across the fields?? I have no aspiration of doing any competition work just want something for a bit of fun and company really. what do I do perservere with my mare or sell her? any advice would be appreciated.

 

[chestnutmarelover]

Have you checked the obvious's ie saddle fit, teeth, back etc? There could be a little niggle that is starting to cause huge problems? You say you have a school, what about lunging to let off steam before you ride? Also lunging and lots of ground work will get her listening to you.... Alot of horses get the 'winter hyperactiveness' (mine do & its a pain in the ***!!)

 

[Ladydragon]

You'll undoubtedly get a lot of practical and experienced advice on here but reading your post I did have a few questions which might help give more of an overall idea...

1. Has a saddler checked saddle fit?
2. Are teeth, back, feet all checked?
3. Is she the same when hacking out in company?
4. Is she the same with a more confident rider?
5. Can your instructor/friends/other liveries suggest another instructor?
6. What is she fed?
7. Do you have the confidence to carry through groundwork/riding suggestions people might have?
8. Do you have another horsey friend who can be with you when you're working with her in the school?

We started our rugrats with a loan pony we've still got as my husband is now having some lessons and I'm using her to regain some confidence after years out of riding - she's only four but although she'll never be fabulous in competitions, she's a safe, reliable, easy going gal on a hack that I could stick a toddler on...

They do exist but no doubt you're attached to your girl and want to make sure you're not giving up too easily if it's something that can be fairly easily addressed... At the same time, as someone who's only interested in tootling along myself and have no illusions about my current abilities, I do understand how upsetting it must be for you at the moment and that it's easy to get into a downward spiral with confidence...

 

[Magnetic Sparrow]

For the moment let's ignore the mareish behaviour and look at the experiences you've reported more recently. It sounds like your mare has lost confidence in you because you've lost confidence in both her and your own ability. Bear in mind horses don't really think in terms of them scaring you - so if you seem nervous she will think there's something out there to be scared of and look to you for reassurance. If she doesn't get the reassurance (you being calm and riding forwards) she will exhibit behaviour like napping, which I think is what you have experienced, and taking off on her own because she thinks she's not getting enough confidence from you. Going out on your own is likely to make things even more difficult. Can you find some company?

If this was my horse I would try to get a more confident and experienced rider to take her out around some of the rides you have been doing and in the school, to show her that she can behave. Then start doing things with her yourself, not challenging your confidence too much each time to build up a bank of good experiences. If you have problems, go back to something you are comfortable with. Start small, really small, just walking figures maybe, and build up slowly.

I would recommend that you find another instructor. Word of mouth will normally find someone who is good with nervous people (like me, I'm telling you what worked for me!).

Sorry for the essay and good luck.

 

[Tickles]

Firstly don't worry about your instructor moving. There are others out there

Do you have other sensible people to hack out with? Is there a local riding club you could join (nothing too competitive, I'm thinking the 'mums coffee club' type)? Can you get hubby to go out with you on foot/bike/whatever?

Most horses will occasionally have fast/spooky moments, especially if you do (you need to get good at body language 'lies', try singing when you ride!) so selling/part-exchanging may work but, if as you say, this is more within you you'll probably want to fix that part up too - and if you want to you will

 

[beeswax]

Am i correct in thinking that because you have lost your confidence a bit you are riding with a slightly shorter rein than you used to, you are possibly leaning forward a bit more, and your body is tense, if YES these are all the signs which tell a horse that things are not well and if you wanted the horse to go faster these are also the signs you would give then, so (1) lunge her 30mins (2) get on and ride her in the school with a slightly looser rein than you have been, sit up straight, breathe and relax and if you only walk for 60mins then thats fine and continue to do this until you feel she is settled, you have your confidence back and you could handle a bit more. I think your thumping in the school is because you are asking her to go forward but also without realising it pulling back on the reins and the poor thing is confused. They really dont want to hurt us, they are just horses who have to take leadership from us.

 

[beeswax]

Also stick her on Moody Mare (Dobson & Horrell) nothing worse than a bitchy mare in season - keep her on it all the time.

 

[Kaylum]

Totally agree with all the above advice especially the feeding part.

You never learn to ride until you get your own horse. Think about it riding school horses are there for a reason because they are there to teach you to ride not for you to teach them.

If you do look for another do not just go for a cob thinking thats the easy way. Cobs are often strong and not always suitable for novices. What people dont seem to understand is how the horse and for the matter the owner/rider has been educated. We had two tb's we could put anyone on. Why because they had been well schooled. Been there done that horses with manners and education.

But before that drastic measure try to take the advice given by the others above.

 

[EJ87]

You'll undoubtedly get a lot of practical and experienced advice on here but reading your post I did have a few questions which might help give more of an overall idea...

1. Has a saddler checked saddle fit?
2. Are teeth, back, feet all checked?
3. Is she the same when hacking out in company?
4. Is she the same with a more confident rider?
5. Can your instructor/friends/other liveries suggest another instructor?
6. What is she fed?
7. Do you have the confidence to carry through groundwork/riding suggestions people might have?
8. Do you have another horsey friend who can be with you when you're working with her in the school?

We started our rugrats with a loan pony we've still got as my husband is now having some lessons and I'm using her to regain some confidence after years out of riding - she's only four but although she'll never be fabulous in competitions, she's a safe, reliable, easy going gal on a hack that I could stick a toddler on...

They do exist but no doubt you're attached to your girl and want to make sure you're not giving up too easily if it's something that can be fairly easily addressed... At the same time, as someone who's only interested in tootling along myself and have no illusions about my current abilities, I do understand how upsetting it must be for you at the moment and that it's easy to get into a downward spiral with confidence...

Hi ya thanks for replying the answers to your questions are as follows:

1. the saddle was made for her and is fits fine i also had her back, teeth and feet checked and all are fine.

2. I havent hacked her out much in company as i have no one to go with but I have rode her in the school with company and she is exactly the same.

3. When my instructor jumped on her to ride her she rode like a dream!

4. I will speak to the owner of the school and see if he can recommend anyone.

5. She is turned out most of the day and gets fed hi fibre haylage and carrots as treats (no hard feed at all).

6. I do have the confidence to carry out any suggestions etc I dont want to give up on her as I love her I just want to be able to enjoy her to our full potential.

7. I dont have anyone at the min to help me but hopefully will make some if I spend a bit more time around them.

 

[Tammytoo]

Lots of good advice here.

I think that this could be related to her painful seasons. Have you asked a good horsey vet about treatment for the "marish" behaviour when she is in season? She needs to have an internal examination to see if there is anything wrong with her ovaries before you start putting her on supplements like Moody Mare.

My friend had a mare with similar problems and her vet just put her on Regumate to stop her coming into season, without thoroughly examining her. The Regumate didn't work so she was taken to a specialist horse vet, who discovered that she had a benign tumour on her ovaries and the Regumate was actually making it worse. The tumour can be removed.

If it were me I would get her thoroughly checked by a good horse vet, not just for her marish seasons, but back, teeth, saddle fit etc. Once you have ruled out any pain issues get recommendations for an instructor who will build your confidence and possibly find a confident rider who would be willing to take your mare out hacking whilst you re-build your confidence.

Edited because I have just read your above post! If you're convinced tasck, teeth, beck etc are fine I would still have her ovaries checked.

Good luck.

 

[Tilda]

My goodness I read this thread and thought you could be me we are in very similar positions even down to the instructor moving although mine is coming back weekly to teach us. My situation is slightly different in that my nerves on my horse come from a freak accident that happened last year which resulted in my falling from her and rupturing my spleen. I have had issues in the school (hopefully now overcome) and still have issues hacking to the extent that I no longer hack her my yard manager does. The most frustrating thing is we went out last week I rode my YMs old boy and she rode my mare and Henry was probably as badly behaved a Tilly but it didn't bother me in the slightest but it's because I know how far he will push it and I don't trust her to know when to stop.

I have actually made the decision to sell her and have put up a couple of tentative adverts and since I made the decision I seem to be enjoying her more because it's almost like the pressures off and now I am even questioning whether I want to sell her!

No real advice just wanted to let you know you are not alone. My husband also said I couldn't buy another horse if I sold her but he has now relented and said as long as I don't end up out of pocket its up to me.

 

[ladyearl]

Sympathy vibes to you as it's clear you want to work through this.

Apart from agreeing with everyone else I was also wondering if you could move to a busier yard where there might be more people to ride out with.