Help?! Forever horse?!

[WinterGirl]

I ride at a local riding school, and have done for about 8 years (its an excellent riding school, with good horses and ponies which teach you to ride and not just how to sit...).
One of the horses there, is about 17hh, coloured gelding, with not fabulous paces (he's too close behind and too wide in front in trot), however has a nice canter and walk. He's very sweet and honest- my only difficulty is riding him forwards like the big horse he is whilst jumping (which, after grid after grid after grid, I am getting better at.
Currently, they are trying to sell him to a hunting home, as he could gallop/canter forever and be quite happy with that.
I really want him. Genuinely think he is a forever horse.
However, I am going to university next year (hopefully!) and will be moving away for that.
I would like to hear some stories of people who did well at university, had a good time, and kept their horse with them? Is that too much to ask? My parents are almost dead against buying him, and I'd like to change their minds!
I'm not trying to get them to pay for university, and both my keep, and the horse, just him and some help if my student loan + hopefully job doesn't cover it (to be paid back after I qualify as a teacher).
I'm going to look at local(ish) livery yards around the uni's I go to, and see how much they cost on a feasible livery (and with/without haylage/feed/bedding/stabling) eg. DIY if its close, Part or Assisted if its too far away. I am also going to get a few quotes from insurance companies, vets,dentist and farriers. Should I factor in any additional costs? (I'm aware of saddler/physio/chiropractor costs as and when also).
One of the reasons my parents are dead against the idea, is that he will cost £2700, with tack (roughly), but we have no idea how much it will cost to keep him, with me at university.
I don't think I can ask the riding school to keep him whilst I finish university, as it will be 4 years, and they don't have regular turnout (they have to box up to get there).
Would it be a better option to wait to see if he does sell/gain any interest, but pass my details onto the buyer and ask that if for any reason he comes up for sale again I be the first person they contact about him? Or just to keep in touch with him?
I do really think a lot of this horse, and I want to do good by him, but I really want the best to be with me!
So, how can I make this affordable/economical enough that I could have him?! (and help convincing the mother too please!).
But please, do practical. I'm not sure if I am being!
Ben and Jerries Ice cream to anyone that read all this!

 

[twiggy2]

sorry but my advice is forget buying a horse, go do your studies, concentrate and do well, then if you still want one and life allows look for and buy a horse.

your life will change so much over the next few years and a horse is likely to hold you back

 

[WinterGirl]

I also have my BHS stage 2, so knowledge isnt really a problem, with lots of more knowledgeable friends/instructors!

 

[twiggy2]

I also have my BHS stage 2, so knowledge isnt really a problem, with lots of more knowledgeable friends/instructors!

I don't think this is relevant.

the option to walk away is not given in the poll

 

[HashRouge]

the option to walk away is not given in the poll

Ditto
Honestly, I'm not surprised your parents aren't keen if you're just about to head off to uni. I would let him go, if I were you.

 

[WinterGirl]

I really don't want to just walk away- at the very least I'd like to keep in touch with his new owners- is that asking too much?
He's the only horse, that, once I've gotten to know him, I've gotten off beaming with happiness every time I ride him.
The Stage 2 comment was as additional information about the situation, not as a response to you Twiggy2- I hadn't seen it yet!

 

[WinterGirl]

Is it too much to ask to try to stay in touch with possible new owners through facebook or something? Just to see how he's doing, and stuff?

 

[wyrdsister]

Tricky. I've kept my horses all through university (BA to PhD and beyond). It's been hard work and expensive though - some agonising vet bills aside - not more so than having them before/after uni. I never considered not taking them with me and if I could do it all again I would without hesitation. I don't feel like my horses have held me back in any way and I don't regret the things I didn't do because I had them either. I've done things with them that I'd never have got to do if I'd given them up!

My advice would be to get some quotes from local livery yards, insurance companies, etc, all the things you're considering doing and see what it's going to cost, factoring in 'disaster' funds for the unexpected bills like saddlers, physios, insurance refusing a claim or less-than-the-excess type injuries. Then think hard about what you want to get out of university. I went to study and to do a part time job and keep my horses, I didn't give a monkey's about the social life, joining clubs and all the 'soc' stuff that gets pushed at you in Freshers' - which was good, because there wasn't (much) time for it. That said, I did co-run a society for several years (while competing every weekend, working part time and studying). I still had a blast, so it can be done! If this is your first horse, though, you may find it harder, because it will *all* be new. And you will definitely need your parents on your side. Could not have done it without the support of mine!

P.S: Staying local helps. You could also look for working livery options for him elsewhere if you want to move away from home.

 

[abracadabra]

I don't think this is relevant.

the option to walk away is not given in the poll

This is the option I would have chosen. Sorry OP.

 

[be positive]

Is it too much to ask to try to stay in touch with possible new owners through facebook or something? Just to see how he's doing, and stuff?

I think you can ask, it will be down to his new owners, if he sells, to decide whether they want to keep in contact but it can do no harm to ask, he may well still be there for some time, a riding school horse is unlikely to sell to a hunting home without proving he will hunt however much he enjoys galloping it is a very different life.

 

[WinterGirl]

We think he hunted before he came to us- no schooling, very bold, and preferred cantering to trotting as he found it easier! He is also going to hunt this season with a member of staff.
Thank you Wrydsister! Could I PM you if I rin into any difficulties with costing? I'm not particularly interested in soc stuff either; my parents want me to though as they want me to 'get the full experience' as neither of them went to uni. Do you mind me asking what you finished with and which course you did? I'm thinking about applying for history/archeology.
I think keeping him on a working livery anywhere else would be a no- I know how some riding schools are run, and I think he enjoys it where he is; there's just not enough people to ride him! (he can be quite tricky to go well), but is very sweet and honest.
I think in terms of practicality, at the moment (basically unless we win the lottery or premium bonds), it will have to be just keep in touch if and when he goes...
I'm so annoyed that I met him now! he is a forever horse, and although I probably don't have the time or the money, if i had the money, I'd make the time for him.

 

[WinterGirl]

oops
Thank you to everyone for your advice and comments!
I need somebody else to be practical sometimes!

 

[wyrdsister]

Hi WinterGirl, yes, you can PM me, although I don't know how much help I'll be if I'm in a different area. I went to one of the Russell Group unis, did English (BA Hons) and got a 1st, then a Renaissance Studies Masters and got a Distinction, and successfully completed my PhD last year - so having my horses had no negative effect on my studying at all! I really enjoyed my time there and managed a pretty decent work/life balance, I just chose not to buy into the lifestyle. What I would say is that it's not the uni years that are the hardest with horse keeping, it's actually been harder since I finished, when everything changes again, relocation and financial instabilities, etc, so you may want to think about that too. Whatever you decide to do, I hope it goes well - and remember there are riding teams at most universities and they don't usually expect/require you to have your own horse.

 

[hnmisty]

Not wanting to smash your dreams, but I don't think going into horse ownership for the first time shortly before going to uni is the wisest!

I had my old girl (who was my forever) whilst I was at uni. She stayed at home with my parents who looked after her. She was retired and I came home lots to see her. There's no way I could have afforded to keep her at uni (had no desire to anyway). I couldn't have had a job and looked after her whilst fitting my degree in, mine was pretty full time. It would have ended up with my parents picking up the bill, which they couldn't afford to do.

Ezplain to the new owners that you'd like to stay in touch. It's so easy these days now with Facebook. If I was asked that then I would happily agree.

It's a sad situation- if you weren't going away to uni I would have said go for it (although would perhaps think he was overpriced, but that's another story), but I think it's just not feasible with uni. Sorry!

PS I am still a student now (at 25, I'm doing a PhD so I get paid a decent enough amount) and I've just bought my first horse I've had away from home. It hasn't affected my social life so far...but then I had already made my friends so didn't have to worry I'd be missing out if I didn't say yes to every invite to the pub etc. It would be sad if you got this horse and got to uni and realised you really did want the whole student lifestyle.

Pps I found a dead cheap and gorgeous horse for sale whilst I was in my 3rd year. I tried to convince my mum I could afford it. Luckily she was firm (I begged!) And now I look back and realise it would never have worked. I was just so desperate to have a horse again after losing my riding pony when I was 18, just before I went to uni

 

[FestiveFuzz]

I'm another that says walk away but definitely ask the new owners if they'd mind keeping in touch, there's no harm in asking afterall

If it helps my cousin has just started her 2nd year of uni studying archaeology and whilst she currently doesn't have many lectures she's had lots of long practical excursions she's had to attend including some that have been abroad, none of which would have been easy with a horse in tow.

Also you need to bear in mind as a riding school horse he will have had a much higher workload than he would have with an owner so you may have found he became more of a handful/unmanageable as a first horse.

As someone who took 4 years out from horses having had to sell my horse in my final year, as I couldn't afford to keep her whilst doing my dissertation I can tell you it'll be worth the wait no matter how horrific it seems right now.

At 26 I now have a gorgeous horse who I can keep without worrying about any additional costs that might crop up (he's currently having weekly physio and needs a new saddle). Now I'm glad I took the time to establish my career before I bought a new horse.

 

[Caol Ila]

I had my horse through my BA, MA, and PhD but would have struggled without the support of my wonderful and all-too generous parents. Especially during the undergrad stage (as a postgrad, there is more flexibility and options for having a job as well).

I never found the horse to be a massive drag on my social life but I have never been the sort to join every club and soc imaginable. Still, some sacrifices had to be made. As a first-year undergrad, I joined the first-year choir (I had been in a choir in high school), which required commitment to two rehearsals per week and then concerts once per semester. No big deal. But the choir for second/third/fourth years ramped up the commitment considerably. They required more than two rehearsals per week, plus finding time to have rehearsals with your section (alto IIs, soprano IIs, soprani Is, etc.). I decided that I could not manage that + the horse, so gave up on choir-ing. My uni had its own barn on campus, where my horse stayed. It had 30 boarders (liveries) and 30 school horses. Every year, there was inevitably a first-year student or two who brought their horse but got so sucked into other aspects of uni life that you never ever saw them at the barn. Then there were others (like me) who were practically items of furniture at the barn. So it depends what you want to do.

As a postgrad, I still went out to the pubs and while a PhD student, was (and still am to an extent as an alum) involved in the uni mountaineering club.

But I don't regret it and would do it all again. She has been a rock. Not many people can say they have had a horse who has followed them through high school, three degrees, three states, and two countries.

I would, however, say that if you have never owned your own horse before, the beginning of uni may not be a good place to start. That's a lot of change to deal with in one go. I got G at the beginning of my final year of high school, but had another horse for four years before that. So for me, the horse was what I knew, what was familiar and safe, through all these life changes.

 

[noblesteed]

I would either forget it, or find someone to keep him at home for you, money being no object, so you had the holidays with him.
If it's teaching that you are doing at Uni, you really, honestly, will have NO time whatsoever for a horse while you're on teaching practice. I am a teacher, done the training and I am also a school-based tutor for trainee primary teachers. By the time you have got up at 6, travelled to your placement to be in school by 8am, then done your marking and preparation after school, got home to eat, then done the next days planning and evaluations and assessments, it will be around 10pm which will be time for bed! Weekends are spent completing uni assignments, as are holidays.
You will struggle to find time for a horse once you start teaching too. I had been teaching for 3 years before I could fit a horse in, and she was only a part-loan.

 

[Always-Riding]

I'm in my first year at uni - and so far can honestly say I'm glad I put my mare out on loan. I would not have the time or money for it.

I have had horses pretty much all my life - took 2 gap years to focus on competing/sorting tricky horses, and really wanted to come to uni with a horse in tow but I'm so glad I listened to advice not to. Maybe next year when I know exactly what I'm doing, I may look into getting a horse (mare is in an exceptional loan home), but I very much doubt I will tbh.

There are equestrian clubs and I've been in contact with a lady who will let me ride her horse anytime with no cost (win, win!!).

So my advice, as hard as it is to take, is to walk away. Pass you name and contact details to the new owner in case they sell somewhere down the line.

 

[TarrSteps]

I'm adding my vote to the "no" list, sorry.

I did have a horse while I was at university, purchased in my second year with a small inheritance. But I was in an enviable situation as didn't pay fees and had a very advantageous living situation, a decent job, and access to very reasonable good quality livery and instruction. I had also been riding for a decade and was already teaching and riding for other people. I wasn't that bothered about the social aspect of university and had already been at boarding school and living away from home, so didn't have to adjust to that at the same time.

As a few people have mentioned, I actually found it harder to support the horse properly after I left school. No matter what path you choose you will have to devote all your time and energy to starting out and you cannot predict what this might mean as far as moving or other considerations. I'm afraid most of the people I know who have been able to keep a horse through this have only done so with family support, even if they don't always tell it that way.

I hate to say, but this will likely not be the last horse you love and lose. But he will always have a special place in your heart. I know that sounds trite but it is part of growing up, to have to leave things you love behind. Who knows, maybe you will meet up again! Even if you don't, the lessons you have learned from him will stick with you in your riding and help you with other horses and you will know a bit more about what you like and want in a horse when you are finally in a position to have one of your own.

Good luck at uni. Get a good job and then you can have lots of nice horses!