Help- I'm losing my nerve!

[jayvee]

I'm so frustrated and angry with my self in the fact that I think I am losing my nerve with riding!
Been non-stop riding since age of 8 to now thirty something. I have ridden nutters and even recklessly myself in the past with no fear! I have seen and experienced some pretty bad stuff, survived and carried on as norm without a care.
This summer i got on -what was supposed to be a sensible horse, who turned into a non-stop manic bronko bucker as soon as I got in the saddle (I rode this horse 10 mins prior to the bronk and he was absolutely fine). Totally caught me out, and although I hung on for dear life I finally exited via the back door! Luckily I was not hurt, just bruised.
But since then I started feeling sick just getting on the variety horses I know so well who are angels to ride. It was the initial getting on and moving off, anticipating the explosion, (that never happens)! It's so stupid, I feel stupid, but it is really bothering me now.
This bucker seems to have let loose the gremiln in me.
How do I over come this??? I'm doing my best to carry on as norm. Am I on the slippery road to being a nervous wreck? I am already dreading the thought of buying a new horse in a couple of years, I seem to only trust my old timer now.
Help or tips please... I hate it, it's not me.

 

[monica123]

maybe, find a couple of different horses whjo you trust 100% and have some lessons?
and be positive every time you get on....im sure it is only temporary
xx

 

[Accy]

I had three very bad falls earlier this year and totally went to peices at the thought of riding each and every time a total nervous wreck.

I got rid of the horse I had fallen from and took a little break then brought a new horse, a freind then lent me her horse alongside the new one i had to gain my confidence back this all sounds back to front but worked as her horse is a safe as houses i learnt to hack again trot again canter again without crying my heart out, my only peice of advice to you is dont think back think forwards be positive keep a bottle of bachs rescue rememdy in your yard this helps no end and is totally natural.
And most of all remember you can do it start of with little goals and work you way up, confidence takes a second to lose and time to get back there is no fast cure just time.

Good Luck

 

[beaconhorse]

oh hun I really feel for you, it is so hard isn't it?? Have you tried any sort of mental preparation before you get on?

When I went thro it I tried being mega positive before getting on, pushing all thoughts of what could go wrong out of my head. However personally this did not work for me because the moment I came to get on all the fears came flooding back.
For me what worked best was thinking of all that could go wrong and figuring out how I would deal with it, then thinking of positive falling, ie yep ok I might hit the deck BUT chances are I would go ouch and get right back on.
Also when things are bad or if I ride a different horse I fit a flash strap to the Drings of the saddle I know that I can grab this if I get nervous or things go wrong and I can usually stay on no matter what they do, so the strap is my comfort safety zone and really does work

Good luck

 

[Olliedog]

I know exactly what you mean. I've been through this stage twice in the last two years and, seconding what LPR said, lessons on a quiet horse, if you can arrange it, will help heaps.
[ QUOTE ]
I seem to only trust my old timer now.


[/ QUOTE ]
I don't think there's any problem sticking to your old timer for the time being. He could be just what you need to get your confidence back. Just start off small and stay positive!

 

[Sparklet]

I have always found it helps me enormously to try to establish why a horse has behaved in a certain way. The horse you rode was normally a senisble natured horse and suddently he turned into a bucking broncho. Horses dont usually do that type of thing so something must have happend to make him take such drastic action.

If you can work out why he behaved as he did it will take the personal aspect out of the event - so you stop think he was out to get you - thus all horses are out to get you.

My horses is a good a gold but if she gets a horse fly on her she will buck - its nothing to do with me and to be fair (having been bitten by a horse fly) I dont really blame her. I dont take it personally and know it has nothing to do with me.

Try to speak to someone who knows the horse to find out why it reacted the way it did.

 

[ljubb]

Horses and horses and we should not get on if we are afraid of falling off. However this doesn't mean that after a fall you cant lose your bottle.

It happens to most people after an incident, I broke my finger lunging a youngster three years ago and the first time i went to ride after i was really worried and i hadn't even done it whilst riding!! figure that out!!

Not every horse is going to bronk and put you on the floor, stick to riding you trusty steed until you have put the incident out of your mind, and then and only then ride one that you know.

Remeber very few horses are evil and if something happens there is usually a reason for it. When it happens get to the bottom of the problem and carry on.

You will get your confidence back but it will take time. Confidence is a long time coming and extreamly quick to go.

Take care, be careful and only do what you enjoy!

 

[cobwithattitude]

Really sympathise with you - don't worry. Agree with everything everyone else has advised - a neck strap really helps my confidence and talking to myself(!) Used to get really bad butterflies/shakes before i got on for no reason at all (just painful memories) but after getting on they would normally subside. And to think we do this for pleasure!

 

[eahotson]

I echo what everyone else says really about regaining your confidence on safe, ploddy if necessary horses.Better to be a bit bored than scared. The next thing is to think about what EXACTLY you are scared of.For me its lack of confidence in my abulity to cope with something even when (this is out hacking for me) its something I know how to do and am quite capable of doing. Obviously for you it may be different. Good luck.

 

[serena2005]

oh dear i really feel for you.

when i first moved my loan on to my yard as soon as anyone got on he would explode, but he reared then leaped and bucked... he had an acceident and i didnt ride for about 8 weeks then when it came to get back on i was so nerveous about him doing it again, but i thought if i dont get on first and do it now ill never get over it.
dont get me wrong im not compelety over it i still think he might do it everytime i get on, i can feel his back tense up, but we have alot of trust between us now which i think is the key.

i dont see any problem with sticking with your old timer, i think they are a credit to their owners and give bundles of confidence. i would say if you can find a quite horse to ride reguarly haveing lessons, your confidence should come back quickly.

take your time and dont rush things, you will be fine. good luck

 

[Christmas_Kate]

Jeez, that sounds so like me. I have ridden some NUTTERS, been chucked off etc and had no fear. I lost my nerve years ago, and now, for me, riding is like torture. I began riding again, and YO has some pretty safe horses. But it felt like I was learning all over again. Awful. I have ridden fine, but as soon as anything plays up a little I totally lose my nerve. I am fine riding anything small, but the other week YO asked me to ride a horse for her and it completely terrified me! He didnt 'do' anything as such, but is a big TB. We went onto the gallops and some idiot decided they would gallop across the field, winding the TB up. I didnt fall off, but we both ended up in the ditch, came out and bucked. I went to pieces. Tried my best to carry on, thinking i was being daft and he was picking up on my nerves. But in the end I decided I wasnt in the right frame of mind (and state by that point) to be doing this with someone elses pride and joy. So i got off. I vowed NEVER to go out alone again, unless it was on something i was used to.
I rode him the next time in the school. Hated it. He is in no way naughty, but I couldnt shake that 'feeling'. So I just walked him on a loose rein until I was settled. But he definately felt my nerves.
I went out yesterday and rode western, and HAVING to ride a strange horse on a loose rein, in open countryside did wonders for me. I had been previously told that the horse I was riding was as good as gold, and was a bit of a dobbin. I felt so safe, and had a canter across a few fields, which was amazing. Something i havent done in years.
I strongly recommend finding yourself either a good school or a good safe horse and learning to enjoy riding again. Don't ride anything wappy until you have your confidence.

 

[jayvee]

Thankyou guys, it makes you feel you are the only one but obviously I am not.
The bucker was in a America whilst on a 'dude ranch' holiday! So naturally believed he'd be safe, (you know, like expecting the equivilant to a UK trekker at a riding centre)!
I have 3 other horses to ride daily who are not mine, in fact I am responsible for their care and exercise. But after the bronk I felt I was almost losing it on them, and they are good horses.
This happened in August, so I assume it could still be early days? I don't know.
Once I am on and moved off all is fine, though I get anxious again when they put thier head down for whatever silly reason, (memory of the bronk having his between his knees)!
I just take deep breaths, tell my self to get on with it and try and think of nice things.
I do hope with time it will go. I no longer want to prove a point any more anyway, but would just like to feel happy inside and enjoy. Because I know I still want to do the things I have done- the hunting the XC and so on.
Thanks so much for your replys x

 

[no_no_nanette]

So sympathise - I think it happens to almost everybody at different times in their riding careers. I think the advice to do everything you can to build your confidence : stick to safe horse for time being, use a neck strap, and set yourself small challenges, don't ever push yourself too fast - and read Pippa Funnell's book, which is really interesting on this, and she talks a lot about the psychologist she worked with, and how she practised positive and focused thinking ahead of competing, which seems to have really helped her! Good luck!

 

[Taurus]

I've just started to get my confidence back up again - no idea why I lost it really, had a couple of falls but nothing really bad, squished my leg and had to have surgery but was all very straight forward - I think it must have been the time I wasn't able to ride which gave me my feelings/thoughts of 'oh crap I can't do this' - and have only just (in the past couple of weeks) got back on board. I'm still nervous at the moment but I guess with time it will all come back - just carry on with your old faithful for now and in time, or when you find yourself thinking that you'd really like to get on something a bit more challenging - then do it!
Believe me I am SUCH a wimp so if I can get back on then I'm certain that you will be back to your old self in no time! Lots of luck xx

 

[4whitesocks]

TFT is brilliant!

 

[BenjaminBunny]

I totally sympathise

I too suffer from confidence issues

But you have to give yourself time

For example - don't pressurise yourself into riding for a set time - just get on and aim for a plod around the school - if that goes ok - do another - if the nerves get too much then get off take a deep breath finish - i think the thing to do is develop some good experiences (as you would give a horse who's had a confidence knock) and build it up

i've gone through this recently and kinda still am going through it - until this weekend i had two spectaculary good rides on my horse and he was so good and it's given me that boost i needed

basically my horse i bought in april passed a stage 5 but was then found to have suspensory ligament damage has been undergoing treatment etc since then and in the last month or so has been being brought slowly back into work

it took alot for me to get on him following 4 months of box rest
as he wasn't allowed turn out and i couldn't lunge to get ride of energy so it was like sitting on an unexploded bomb

but i perservered (sp?) and i'm getting there - but i still have wimp days

just don't place any pressure on yourself because it will only make things worse - i kept doing it to myself and only by "seing how it goes" have i started to work through it

 

[Stella]

I agree, TFT is brilliant - Jo Cooper is your woman for that

 

[spider]

Don't know if you wear a body protector, but I find putting one on helps a bit if I am feeling nervous.

 

[Weezy]

TFT TFT TFT TFT TFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Honestly it will change your life!

 

[TheBlackMoth]

What is TFT?

 

[jayvee]

Yes sorry, what is TFT?

 

[4whitesocks]

It's Thought Field Therapy - dunno how it works but it's bloody amazing - I totally lost my nerve (not that I had much of one in the first place lol!) and having heard about it on here I gave it a go (over the phone with Jo as I'm in Ireland)....I honestly haven't looked back - there are quite a few devout followers on here (Niamhy is one)
A session is £50 (I think) and if it doesn't sort it she'll do a follow-up with you on any remaining issues - you really have to think about what it is you're scared of & break it down into all it's constituent little bits...like for me it was the what if - he runs out, or bucks me off, or takes off after the fence & I can't stop him etc etc
Someone else can probably explain it better!!

 

[Weezy]

http://www.jo-cooper.com/

Enjoy!

 

[jayvee]

Now that just might be what I need. How successful is it? Do you have to meet her or can this be done over the phone just as well? (I know, I should be asking Jo this).
I would seriously though consider this option, ..I really would!
I have never heard of it, thankyou.

 

[MagicMelon]

Try riding only a couple of horses you trust (your old timer and one another you KNOW you can trust or at least build trust with) - you dont need to ride a heap of horses, you wont be able to build up any sort of trusting bond with any of them which is what you need just now.