Help im very confused!

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NatalieS

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I really need some advice, I got my horse on loan in Sept and she is really sweety. 15.3hh tb x called Honey and apparently she is 18 but acts about 8!! I had a really bad ride at the weekend and had to get off and lead because she was being so naughty and I was on my own so it was safer to get off than battle on, she normally gets a bit excited when we go in the orchards but never this bad and it scared me (im not as confident as I used to be). The other issue is i live on a main road and Honey really hates lorries she won't go past them and the road is prone to lots of milk tankers, so it freaks me out everytime we go out.

Im thinking of sending Honey back because of the lorry situation and also because I find her to much to handle. I have been riding for years but im not as confident as I used to be but I really don't know what to do! Im really sad about the thought of losing her because I love her to bits, but im not sure she is the right horse for me.

Advice needed can I cure the stupidty and lorry problem? or should i send her back
 
To cure the lorry problem is going to take a lot of time nad patience but also a lot of confidence from you as this is what the horse will pick up on to reassure them that is ok to go past them etc!
However the fact that she makes you feel slightly uncomfortable/nervy when riding her if she plays up to me would be enough to say (for now!) that you should send her back and look for a slightly more chilled out sort of horse that will look after you until your nerves and worries etc have settled again and then look for maybe going up a gear in terms of the horse(s) you ride......

It sound bad, but at the end of the day if something back happens on Honey it could knock your confidence even further back which will be even harder to overcome!
 
I don’t know if you should send her back or not that really is your decission all i will say is look as some of the other posts and you will find that a lot of people are having problems this time of year. The turnout is limited the weather is limiting and all that adds up to unhappy, fresh horses.

How long have you had her?
 
Thank you, you completely said what I was thinking but its just so hard to part with her especially because when I send her back she will have to live on her own again and the lady that owned her really didn't want her anymore - but she wasn't very honest with me when I took Honey. I just want her to go to a nice home
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The horses are all feeling the weather at the moment, BUT for me the traffic problem would be a deal breaker because a horse that is unreliable in traffic can cause a serious accident.

You can teach her to be more confident in traffic but it takes a lot of time and patience and you would need someone else with a very sensible horse to hack out with you.

At the end of the day this is not your horse and do you want to get injured or your confidence affected trying to sort her out?
 
I have had her since Sept last year and she is always frisky but the weather etc probably hasn't helped like you say. If I could calm her down then I would probably battle on but I still have the lorry problem and also the fact that I wanted to some jumping etc on her this year but at the moment I don't think I would be able to control her!
 
This is a hard one, because you are obviously attached to her, otherwise you wouldn't even be questioning it, you would just have sent her back.

However, speaking as a person who loses their nerve very easily, and has only just about got it back after a long time, if a horse scares you, why put yourself through it? Especially a loan horse. It's not like you have handed money over for her, so she does have a home to go back to with minimal effort. Then maybe you can look for a school master or nice quiet hack to loan instead? And one that LOADS easily. Again, it's hassle that you don't have to put up with from someone elses horse.

Horses are very expensive 'pets' to keep, and whilst some people are perfectly happy to keep a horse as just that, you want to ride, and where is the fun in riding something that is terrifying you? Maybe give her another week or so and see if her behaviour improves now that turnout is happening again for most, before making a final decision, but don't keep her out of guilt. It's not fair on you.

Good Luck. x
 
i agree with Booboos about the traffic problem.
you are not going to convince an 18 yr old that lorries are okay now, tbh...
what happened yesterday wouldn't worry me, there's an icy wind at the moment, a lot of horses are feeling very fresh, but the traffic problem would. you have no control at all over what any driver might do (and some of them do pretty ****ing stupid things, they seem to think that because you are riding the horse on the road it is as reliable as a pushbike.)
if you can always get someone on a good solid reliable horse to hack out with you, i'd keep her. if not, i wouldn't.
 
I just wish the current owner had been more honest with me about the lorries, because if I had known then I probably wouldn't of taken her on - knowing full well both our fields come out onto a main road! Everytime we meet one she freaks out backs up and spins road in the road - i got her past one once but with alot of beating. I now only have one place I can ride when only means going along a short distance of main road which is narrow and dark - but this means my riding is very restricted! Oh its a nightmare and im totally confuzzled
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i agree with kerill and at 18 you may just have to accept it!! to try and get her used to lorries now could be dangerous for you/her and anyone else involved!! All horses are a little hyper at the mo change in seasons feeling fresh (box confinment ect) try not to worry about it too much, she may be totally different in a couple of months!!
 
Totally sympathise with you having been in similar situation, except we bought. Ummed and aahed for weeks, as I'm a ditherer, before finally making a decision. Once I'd made the decision, even knowing we still hadn't yet sold him, was such a huge weight off my shoulders - I just sighed the biggest sigh of relief. After that I couldn't stop smiling - not because he had to go, because I adored him - but I could relax!! We've now got something much safer. Honey needs someone with nerves of steel which you haven't got and that's nothing to be ashamed of.
 
I'm going to be perfectly honest with you SEND HER BACK!! life is too short and there are lots of other horses out there that would be better for you. I hate to say it but I can only see you losing more confidence with this mare. The owner was not honest with you about the lorries so what else was she not honest about.

It is not your problem that she doesn't want her, you really have to think of yourself here
 
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