Help me find my confidence for tonight (fell off)

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mar2505

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I am so upset. yesterday I decided to hack my boy alone not something I am comfortable with but he is safe as houses so need to do it. Anyway he was napping then got on his toes and i knew I was being to tight with the reins but then he did a massive spook at someone in their car boot and spun round and cantered up the road about 300metres and i fell off. Or rather i slid off after I stopped him . I have a habit i cant break of not sitting back and pulling to stop him and I called yard two girls were hacking and they cam,e by and got me on and insisted I ride home,.
I was terriefied and now I am spending all day at work in tears. Everyone else hacks out alone and my horse is safer than most but someone said I was dangerous and should not go out as I cant give my horse confidence.
Now I feel I should sell him but i also feel i should try again tonight so I am working myself up.

Pls help
 
I had a real confidence issue with hacking out, the way I got through it was just first time, go just down the road, 100 yards, then turn round and come back. The next time, go a little further, and just build it up from there. it will build your confidence, and also the confidence in your horse. Good luck, and remember, its supposed to be fun!!!!
 
Think about all the good rides you have had on your horse and try not to let this incident dominate your feelings. Then as already suggested build up your confidence slowly. It is perfectly normal to feel as you are at the moment.Big hugs.
 
Do you have a NICE friend you can hack out with? Or can you get someone to walk beside you while you ride? My OH has helped me hack alone by walking alongside me. Now I am confident to hack alone, and even ENJOY it!!!
Have you tried lifting one hand when your horse spins and runs? Mine does this too, and I'v found sharply lifting one hand helps me sit up, plus it stops him dead then I can spin him round in a circle.
Good luck! I was told I'm dangerous, should sell my horse etc, in fact it was exactly a year ago I rode out of a lesson in tears! Don't give up. It won't be easy but you can do it, just remember to take baby steps and don't beat yourself up about it. You and your horse will gain confidence together.
And make sure you come back on here and tell us how you got on!
 
Thanks so much. I have such good days but when I am tense I make him tense hence the spinning, then I panic and then I get in such a state I feel I cant breath or anything. However if someone walks with me i can conquer the world, it is strange I cant take that final step.
 
Don't beat yourself up, but do try to get back on again, set yourself a small goal, a short distance to go, and as others have said have someone with you to walk by your side. I am in the same situation, each time I ride, I know I have to ride again and it is hard. Good luck and there are some wonderful people on this forum who will give you lots of support.
 
I used to be exactly the same - in fact I would think of every excuse not to ride Athena, as whenever we went out, I was always thinking that she was going to play up. In fact whenever we did go out in company she was a little dream boat - I did all the stressing for both of us!

Now I go out with one of the girls at the farm who is at the same riding level as me and it's fantastic. Athena is so calm when she's out with Trojan. I'm slowly getting my confidence back and hope to be able to hack out on my own soon.

I even thought about selling Athena at one point, but decided against it and I'm glad I didn't. With a little encouragement from your friends, you will get there - a big fat hug is coming your way
 
If you are really nervous it will affect the horse - i have what I would describe as a bombproof pony (ok I know no horse is 'bombproof' but as close as you can get) never any problems hacking out. I took a girl out with her, me walking, and no kidding the pony snorted, spooked and tip toed the whole way due to the girls extreme nervousness. I had to stop her from riding my pony in the end for fear of the pony being made a nervous wreck!

I would agree about having someone hack out with you while to regain your confidence, and also maybe walk with you on foot as someone else suggested, it can work wonders for your confidence and also the horses.

When I got my new horse I went from my old one (who I still have thankfully) being absolutely safe and trustworthy, to an unknown novice, who will hack in company but is nervous on his own. I have spent hours walking him out in hand and the first time i rode him out alone I had lead him out in tack and when we were both nice and relaxed, hopped on and rode the last bit home. Still not hacking out regularly on our own (2 years on.....) but getting there.

Don't make yourself do anythign, do what you and your horse are happy with and you will get there. x
 
I feel extreme pressure to hack out alone as not many people to hack with, also those that do hack are often faster than me and that makes it worse.

A girl has offered to walk out tonight with me but no speak and walk 3 feet ahead, now I am terrified as she is lovely and kind but know I am capable and does not take any sniffling from me. oh god
 
Ah thats nice of her. It sometimes helps to have someone push you a little bit, as you say she knows you can do it. Try to relax, BREATHE and enjoy the ride. You can always get off.

I also don't have many people (that I trust!!) to hack new horse out with, and quite simply don't very often!! I have horses to enjoy them not to spend my life beating myself up. I will take my old horse anywhere but thats very different.

Update on how you get on - maybe I'll take mine out tonight too.....
 
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