Help me improve this please....

MarleyandDarcy

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4 September 2008
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Right so have decided to sell my boy as he has been in the field for the last 6 weeks and think he is bored of his early retirement now! Unlike my mare who thinks it's great! I just don't have the time for him, and again unlike my mare (who is 19) who I could leave for 4 weeks then get on again he needs to be out and about living life to the max!
But I can't make his ad sound good so thought I'd ask you guys where I'm going wrong.

Have considered putting him on ProjectHorses so that I could just sell him straight away - rather than needing to bring him back into work so he is a true reflection of what he is actaully like rather than a rather fresh boy straight out from 6 weeks on the spring grass!

So what do you think I need to change?
And would I get £2,500 from him on project horses?
An experienced rider would get themselves a right bargain!

16.1hh 11 years old, IDxTB Chestnut Gelding
Lovely boy who enjoys attention.
100% catch, farrier, travel, with dogs, all traffic. Never been lame since I've had him.
Great to handle, change rugs/groom etc while he is eating.

Enjoys hacking, schooling, jumping, hunting - always tries to please.
We have mainly hacked, hacks alone or in company, but also schooling, works in a nice outline. I don’t jump, but he is more than capable, and a very sensible jumper.

Used as a hunter before I got him, very experienced hunter, also used to ‘whip-in’, experienced and bold across country.

Not suitable for complete novice unless he is being ridden regularly. Taught my boyfriend to ride.

Sad sale, but I don’t have the time to ride him anymore and he enjoys being busy so looking for someone to further his possible future career in RC, SJ, dressage, XC etc, or take him back to his hunting days.

Needs to be in regular work, which he isn’t at the moment. Someone will get themselves a real star, just wish I had more time!
£2,500

Any thoughts on how to make the ad better?? Don't want to waffle on but want to get everything in there!
 

mattilda

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Joined
26 September 2007
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[ QUOTE ]
16.1hh 11 years old, IDxTB Chestnut Gelding
Lovely boy who enjoys attention.
100% catch, farrier, travel, with dogs, all traffic.
Great to handle.
Enjoys hacking, schooling, jumping, hunting - always tries to please.
Hacks alone or in company. Works in a nice outline but needs more consistent schooling. He is a capable and sensible jumper.

Was an experienced hunter used to ‘whip-in’, bold across country.

Not suitable for complete novice.
Sad sale, but I don’t have the time to ride him anymore and he enjoys being busy so looking for someone to further his possible future career in RC, SJ, dressage, XC etc, or take him back to his hunting days.

Needs to be in regular work. Someone will get themselves a real star.
£2,500

[/ QUOTE ]

I think it was just a bit long so have edited it a bit. You had all the right stuff in there though.
smile.gif
 
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