Help me make an excuse!

[holeymoley]

Being one of the only people at the yard with a trailer I got asked tonight if someone could borrow it. Normally I’m quite swift to say no for one reason or another but tonight I struggled as person is really nice and I only responded politely with ‘what about trying x y or z who have a 3.5tonne that will transport you lots of other people have used him’ 😐. Now for one reason or another I’m not keen on lending it out willy nilly. Firstly it was a gift from my husband bought new and it’s still relatively new with only being used for a couple of shows and a couple of vet visits. Secondly having seen what others (horse and people) can do with them I’d rather any damage was made by myself! And thirdly its a right pita to get out of my driveway! My politeness didn’t seem to get anywhere though and they asked again if I could be kept in mind. If I was to tow I’m not as overly bothered other than that it’s a pain to get out the driveway, but she’s insistent that her husband has a tow bar... so help people! I need a polite but to the point way of saying no... thinking along the line of insurance terns & conditions which I’ve had a look at and can’t see any obvious stipulations 🤨.

 

[Tiddlypom]

Just say no, firmly but kindly. Any beating about the bush will be taken as a 'maybe'.

 

[Cinnamontoast]

How about ‘Only I’m/the OH is insured to use it and I won’t be lending it out, I’m afraid. Don’t apologise or make excuses. If she insists, just repeat that you aren’t lending it out.

She’s insistent? Then maybe she can be insistent that her husband buy her a trailer to go with his towbar! Bloody cheeky to insist when you’re clearly reluctant.

 

[BeckyFlowers]

Crikey, I wouldn't dream of asking someone to borrow their trailer, they must have balls like baked potatoes. If you're really averse to saying no, would you consider driving them and the horse yourself if they give you some money? (Assuming it's for a vet visit or something similar). If not then I would, as already mentioned, say no unfortunately not.

 

[monkeymad]

I would blame my OH, and say " Im so sorry, and a bit embarrassed, but my OH has said he doesnt want to lend the trailer out".

 

[holeymoley]

Balls like baked potatoes!! You have made my evening 🤣

I’m sure on a previous yard I have used the whole OH isn’t keen on it getting leant out and it worked so I may have to blame him again lol. If it was me and someone suggested about another transporter I might just get the hint! But obviously not. I also don’t want to go down that route because then everyone else wants a shot. I don’t think they’re short of a bit of cash and have 2 ponies so probably would be better for them to get their own in the long run.

 

[MotherOfChickens]

you don't need an excuse other than 'no, I'm sorry-I don't want to'.

 

[windand rain]

We dont lend our trailer we do transport people when asked if we are free I just say no if we cannot do it. It is very precious to us as we have little money and cannot afford to replace it so that is what I say. No as we cannnot afford to replace it if someone else is towing it and its in an accident. If we damage it it is our loss

 

[AmyMay]

Don’t do the whole, OH isn’t keen bit. Just no.

 

[BeckyFlowers]

A big ole nope on a rope.

 

[McFluff]

I’m another who thinks a firm no is best. Avoid ‘excuses’ or you get stuck. Just explain as you have in your post, it’s a gift, it’s new and you don’t want it damaged. They can hire (and if they can’t afford to hire, then they can’t afford to cover any damage!).
If they’ve the nerve to ask, they can’t get upset by a fair no!

 

[holeymoley]

Thinking there, it amazes me the people that have the confidence to go and ask to borrow something which essentially cost thousands of pounds. Bit like not owning a car and then asking to borrow your car for the day! I was without transport for a lot of the time as I was too young/financially unable to own a car to tow and a trailer, I never asked anyone to use their trailer even if I could, I only ever took them up if they offered to take us out somewhere! Even then the fuel was paid for and I cleaned the trailer out after.

 

[Cinnamontoast]

No as we cannnot afford to replace it if someone else is towing it and its in an accident.

That is perfect. I wouldn’t blame my OH, I’d woman up and say no from me as opposed to him.

 

[Cinnamontoast]

S’true, they wouldn’t ask to borrow your car, so why do they think it’s ok to ask about the trailer?!

 

[holeymoley]

I think I’ll go for windand rain’s idea and just say that. I do normally ‘woman’ up and I’m quite to the point but kind of got taken off guard tonight and I do like the lady, so just stumbled a bit.

 

[be positive]

I would add 'if I let you borrow it then everyone else on the yard will want to' which should soften the refusal a little and stick with the definite NO.

 

[MotherOfChickens]

If you like her, just say that you are very sorry but that you don't want to as opposed to just no, which is what I would say.

 

[Cinnamontoast]

You go, girl! It’s tricky when someone’s got more front than Brighton!

 

[ZondaR]

I'd go with insurance.

 

[holeymoley]

Be positive think I’ll use that one too! Thanks guys just need to grow myself some baked potatoes and say it as it is 🤞🏻

 

[silv]

S’true, they wouldn’t ask to borrow your car, so why do they think it’s ok to ask about the trailer?!

Absolutely this, plus if you lend it to her then everyone will start asking, what a cheek anyway to get insistent.

If you really want an excuse just say that you have lent stuff in the past and due to bad experiences now never lend anything at all.

I can speak from experience, I once lent my trailer out only to find they had used it to move furniture too and bent the front axle! Was livid but they did pay for the repair but not the inconvenience and time wasted.

 

[be positive]

Be positive think I’ll use that one too! Thanks guys just need to grow myself some baked potatoes and say it as it is 🤞🏻

I have used it in the past for various 'loans' that I didn't want to allow, it does make it easier for them to accept if they feel you might have if somehow no one else would know.

 

[holeymoley]

Absolutely this, plus if you lend it to her then everyone will start asking, what a cheek anyway to get insistent.

If you really want an excuse just say that you have lent stuff in the past and due to bad experiences now never lend anything at all.

I can speak from experience, I once lent my trailer out only to find they had used it to move furniture too and bent the front axle! Was livid but they did pay for the repair but not the inconvenience and time wasted.

Blimmin heck that’s awful. I did have an old Bahill trailer when I first started towing and a very good friend asked to borrow it to move horse. She divulged to me on bringing it back that she couldn’t pull it up the hill(car not strong enough 😳) so pulled over, took horse out walked to the yard, for her husband to unhook it and leave it in the lay-by so he could bring the car up!! It was fine though as they’d locked the hitch... yes very good.

 

[silv]

Blimmin heck that’s awful. I did have an old Bahill trailer when I first started towing and a very good friend asked to borrow it to move horse. She divulged to me on bringing it back that she couldn’t pull it up the hill(car not strong enough 😳) so pulled over, took horse out walked to the yard, for her husband to unhook it and leave it in the lay-by so he could bring the car up!! It was fine though as they’d locked the hitch... yes very good.

Never underestimate the cheek of some people!

 

[paddi22]

I just say 'i'm really sorry, i just don't ever lend my trailer out' and then give them the name of a trailer rental company. if they keep at it is i just repeat that i don't ever and then walk away

 

[MuffettMischief]

I don’t lend or give lifts anymore. People start to expect it. I just say, no sorry I don’t do lifts anymore. I was once abused for a few days over messages called all the names under the sun including a c**t, and told I was using my lorry as a weapon! All because I said no as girls class was at 8am and mine was 3pm and I didn’t want to stand my horse on the lorry for 6 hours!

 

[Snitch]

I’d just say you made a decision when you bought it that you wouldn’t loan it out to anybody. And maybe you wouldn’t be able to carry the cost of having to replace it if something went wrong.

 

[Shay]

Wow. Ok - either go for the insurance card. They can't insure a trailer they do not own and your insurance won't cover them unless you have the business type hire or reward one.

Rescue cover? Your cover won't cover them - you absolutely can't allow your trailer to be used by anyone without full cover. Can you imagine the cost of closing a motor way to rescue a horse / trailer?!

And / or - simply bat your eyelids and ask if they want to borrow your car too. Love the analogy - most folk would not for a moment think of asking their neighbor if they could borrow a car. You want to borrow a car - you hire one. You want to borrow transport... you hire one. Not yours! There is a reason hired transport is so expensive.

Oh.. 3rd Idea. Say yes - but bill them. Lots.

 

[Orchard14]

I have been in this situation before so I feel your pain. It was very difficult to say no because she is a good friend but I just said something along the lines of "I don't lend it out for insurance purposes (plus trailer was brand new and shiny - my horses rarely poo while travelling but I knew hers was a sh*t machine (I left that bit out)) and person X asked me before and I said no so I have to keep the same answer for everyone - sorry". She accepted that with no probing thankfully. I lent my old trailer out before and it came back with kick marks in the side panels and broken tie strings - never again!

 

[Cowpony]

Not quite the same, but soon after I bought my lorry my sharer asked if I'd take a couple of horses to a fun ride. I wasn't taking part myself, but assuming I'd be taking the pony she had for her kids plus another, I said yes. Nearer the time I got messages from random people telling me they'd heard I was taking x horse and could I take y too? (First I'd heard of it and I'd never spoken to x's owner!) Then being told x was going on another lorry so could I take z instead? Then y wasn't going after all so could I take a? Eventually it got to the point where I appeared to have agreed to take 3 horses as y was actually going after all, when my lorry will only take 2. Then it turned out the person who had caused all the problems and misinformation had confused me with another person with the same first name, so I was only taking 2......

The following week this person asked if I'd be free to take her daughter and a friend showjumping? Errrr........no. I just said that the fun ride had been a favour to my sharer and I wouldn't normally transport horses to an event I wasn't taking part in myself.