Help needed! I want my pony back

hhorse0113

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Hi Guys, I’m in such a pickle with how to approach getting my lovely pony back! I’ll give you some background.
About 6 years ago I was at a yard in which I part loaned out my pony to a young girl. She loved him as he was super cob after all. Anyway long story short the girls mother wanted to buy him from me for her daughters birthday. I declined. Which as the loaner was through the YO, the YO said I was breaking this girls heart and demanded to sell him. I refused which resulting in me being told to leave! At this time I was at work and a colleague of mine kept her horse about 30/40 mins away and said that they would take him to the yard she is at (as it is a close friend of hers). Which was great they took him on as a full/ permanent loan and used for RDA there was no written agreement as it was all so rushed given the circumstances!! Anyway I would pop over to see him every so often but obviously with the whole ordeal it really shook me! And I felt a tremendous amount of guilt as I’ve had my boy since he was 3!! Anyway I found myself last year finally plucking up the courage to start riding again and bought my 5 year old ex racer. She’s lovely and somewhat of a rescue case and it’s horrible to say that I’ve felt like all this time I’m missing something. And it’s him my super cob. I’m planning on going up soon to see him but I’m wanting to have him back. I’m terrible with this kind of thing and any help on what to say and how to word it to them would be very much appreciated!!
 

AmyMay

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Just tell them you are giving them a months notice to end the loan, although it might be nice to give them to the end of the summer holidays.
 

Tagoat

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Well! Shoot me down (& I'm sure that you will!) Whilst acknowledging that the pony does actually belong to you, after such a length of time, personally I think you have a bit of a "brass neck". Just my opinion .....
 

Dollbird

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Just to clarify. The RDA have had your cob for nearly 6 years and have fed and cared for him. How much did you donate for his keep over these years? How many days a week did you visit? Would help to have these facts before posting comment. Thanks
 

Tagoat

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6 years ago ....... visiting "every so often"? (does that mean monthly/yearly/hardly ever?) No loan agreement in place. Ever. Appears to me to be a rather convenient abandonment. But, as I said, the pony does belong to the OP.
 

hhorse0113

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Well! Shoot me down (& I'm sure that you will!) Whilst acknowledging that the pony does actually belong to you, after such a length of time, personally I think you have a bit of a "brass neck". Just my opinion .....
I’m not sure why
Just to clarify. The RDA have had your cob for nearly 6 years and have fed and cared for him. How much did you donate for his keep over these years? How many days a week did you visit? Would help to have these facts before posting comment. Thanks
no no he’s not the RDA’s cob he is loaned by the YO friend. They just use him when they need more ponies
 

little_critter

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All you can do is speak to them, say you want him back and you would like to terminate the loan. Given how long they’ve had him it would be kind of you to discuss the notice period with them. They might prefer to have him till the end of summer, or they might just want to cut all ties and give him back straight away.
 

hhorse0113

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All you can do is speak to them, say you want him back and you would like to terminate the loan. Given how long they’ve had him it would be kind of you to discuss the notice period with them. They might prefer to have him till the end of summer, or they might just want to cut all ties and give him back straight away.
Thank you for your help. I’ll just speak to them when I next see them :)
 

Dollbird

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Ah, so yard owner has had cob for 6 years. Fed and cared for..So, how much did you donate for his keep and how many times a week did you visit over the past 6 years?
 

be positive

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I think you just need to go in person and start the conversation, don't do it by text, if they think he is on a permanent loan then they may feel he is theirs but a loan is still a loan and can be returned, or taken back, at any time within the terms of the contract, as there is no contract in place I would give them a flexible time frame for him to come back, hopefully it will go well and you can sort it out on good terms.
 

teddypops

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Ah, so yard owner has had cob for 6 years. Fed and cared for..So, how much did you donate for his keep and how many times a week did you visit over the past 6 years?
You realise the pony was on loan don’t you? When you have a pony on loan, you pay for everything just like owning one but without the expense of buying.
 

Dollbird

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Normal terms for a loan are the loaner pays all expenses, most people would not want the owner visiting weekly or donating anything to the keep.
I agree "normal terms" yep. However, 6 years down the line, I just hope someone hasn't become too attached. Quite sad really. Just my thoughts..
 

Ambers Echo

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He is your horse and a loan is a loan not a sale. Yes they have cared for him for 6 years but equally they have had a lovely free pony for 6 years and he could be returned too anytime if he went lame or anything. You have every right to ask for him back. Just go and see him and have a chat.
 

hhorse0113

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He is your horse and a loan is a loan not a sale. Yes they have cared for him for 6 years but equally they have had a lovely free pony for 6 years and he could be returned too anytime if he went lame or anything. You have every right to ask for him back. Just go and see him and have a chat.

Thank you for your help x
 

Dollbird

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You realise the pony was on loan don’t you? When you have a pony on loan, you pay for everything just like owning one but without the expense of buying.
Yes, I do realise that. I loaned my horse for 6 months before my husband bought him for me 11 years ago. It was exactly this kind of scenario I was scared of. "Permanent loan" until owner changes mind. Which I presume they are legally entitled to do.
 

teddypops

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Yes, I do realise that. I loaned my horse for 6 months before my husband bought him for me 11 years ago. It was exactly this kind of scenario I was scared of. "Permanent loan" until owner changes mind. Which I presume they are legally entitled to do.
So why do you think the owner should be paying anything? Length of time is irrelevant, the pony was on loan and still owned by the owner. Of course the owner can change her mind. She owns the pony. If you want to own a horse, you buy it, like you did.
 

Ambers Echo

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To me permanent loan means you have no intention of ever having the horse back and the loaners don't ever intend to return either, but you want to retain control. Max will be on permanent loan (hopefully!!) as I won't ever have a use for him but don't want the risk of him being sold on. However - regardless of the intention behind the word 'permanent' - I am under no illusions that Max could be returned at any time if circumstances of the loaner changed or he became expensive or a problem for whatever reason.

In the OPs instance I don;t think it was permanent really as it was never discussed. Open ended might be a better description.
 

MotherOfChickens

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go in person, chat nicely to them and remember that despite it 'just' being a loan, there's a girl involved who is most likely very attached and now with a lot of history with him. Good loaners are worth their weight in gold and although he was 'free', he's not been free to keep for 6 years and if you've never said you'd have him back it will be a shock no doubt.. It would be nice for them to have the summer but be prepared for them to want it over quickly and to take him back pronto or later.
 

Theocat

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The horse has been on loan to the RDA. They don't pay bills for horses because they're attached to them - they pay bills because the horse is doing a useful job (although of course they get attached as individuals!)

All the OP needs to do is to visit, explain the circumstances have changed and that she would like the horse back, and agree a sympathetic notice period.
 

ozpoz

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OP, your horse is on loan. It is up to you if you want him back. Lots of RDA groups benefit from loan ponies. If they want to buy them they would approach the owner to discuss this, otherwise it is a loan. It is normal to expect them to be fully cared for by the loaner during this kind of arrangement and they will have been grateful for the use of a kind and reliable pony. You don't need to feel bad about terminating the loan, at all, but do give them plenty of notice to allow them time to replace him.
 

hhorse0113

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Yes thank you for your advice motherofchickens and Ambersecho. I was 16 at the time and didn’t know what the right procedure to go about it was. I’ll have a chat with her as she’s a lovely lady and see if she wants him for a few months until the end of summer or if she wants to give him back straight away. I know it’s a delicate situation as attachments are made so I’ll go into it with an open mind! Thank you again your advice has been valuable :)
 

little_critter

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I would go prepared, take a letter with you stating that you wish to terminate the loan, that notice is being given on X date and leave a gap that you can fill in (together) stating the notice period.
Don’t just hand it to them, speak to them about it but I would give them the letter (with notice period completed) at the end of the conversation to make it clear and formal just in case there are any quibbles down the line.
Do thank them for looking after him for the last 6 years.
 
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