Help!..Newbie with confidence issues

[The-mad-cat-lady]

Hi...just wanted to say hello and wondered if anyone else suffers from crippling confidence issues.
I Havnt ridden for 3 years since I had a nasty fall on the road.
I would love to start again but I'm terrified.
I popped over to a friends yard the other day and I realised what I was missing.
Problem was she offered to lead me around the school on her bombproof beginners cob and I didn't even have the guts to put my foot in the stirrup.
We tried the mounting block so I was level with him and I was too much of a wimp to even put my leg over his back.
Has anyone else suffered like this?
How did they cope and how long did it take to get back in the saddle.

Cat

 

[*hic*]

Yes, I still do and I have two riding horses in work atm. I find it is worse if I leave riding for a day, each day off makes it worse when I next get on.

In your shoes I would go to a decent riding school, explain to the proprietor what level you were at and where you are now confidence-wise and let them teach you on a suitable horse so that you and the horse both have trust in them.

 

[Miss L Toe]

Can you get hypnotherapy?

 

[The-mad-cat-lady]

Thanks for the reply Dee..
I feel such a fool though when I can't even get on a horse

 

[Tinsel Trouble]

Second hynotherapy, or just making yourself get on and be led around the school? Don't beat yourself up about it, we all lose confidence at some point!

 

[pugsandponies]

Confidence issues like this are much more common than you think! I suggest doing lots of groundwork with horses first if you can - spending time grooming, and leading out on foot. Build up to standing on a mounting block level with a totally bombproof, sane horse - when you have done this a couple of times, just swing a leg over and sit on the horse's back for a few minutes while your friend/an instructor holds his head. Build up in tiny stages and you'll soon get your confidence back! Dont rush into anything, you don't want to scare yourself more. But loads of groundwork first just to get you comfortable around horses again and look into Rescue Remedy for its calming effects! Good luck x

 

[attheponies]

First of all, don't feel bad - if you search the forum you will find loads and loads of threads/postings about confidence issues! I think the best advice is to take everything really slowly, just small steps. I would start by perhaps offering to help your friend and just be around horses for a bit before even attempting to ride. Then when you are ready just take your time, get on and off, then a few small steps on a lead rein etc. It sounds like you had a nasty fall and it will take time but I know you will get there

 

[The-mad-cat-lady]

Thanks guys...

It's so frustrating as I used to be able to fly around a cross country course without batting an eyelid

 

[starryeyed]

Is it just the riding element you've lost confidence in, or are you nervous around horses on the ground too? I'd suggest just spending time around horses, grooming them and being with them, just to get used to being around them again if possible. Then riding-wise, teeny tiny steps! Everyone loses confidence now and again, and you can get it back, but it won't be an instant thing. If your friend is willing to let you borrow her cob again, use the opportunity as it sounds perfect!
When you feel like you want to try again, set yourself the target of just sitting on him - not riding, just sitting. Take some rescue remedy, have your friend on the ground to hold him, and push yourself to just sit in the saddle. Don't rush it, do it at your own pace. Sit there for as long as you feel you can do - it doesn't matter whether its 10 seconds, or a few minutes - after that, dismount, and go and treat yourself! Next time you go, see if you're brave enough to take a few steps, again with your friend on the ground, leading him if that makes you feel more confident. Really small steps are the way forward, I'm sure you'll get there. Once you've sat there, then done your few steps, you can either progress with cobby if your friend is willing, or book a lesson at a riding school - have a chat with them, explain the situation, and ask for a plod! This way you know you'll have a safe horse to progress with, and a supportive instructor who will help you on your way. Ask around (facebook pages are great to do this) for instructors who are good with confidence building if you get to this stage. Good luck, keep us updated x

 

[pugsandponies]

Thanks guys...

It's so frustrating as I used to be able to fly around a cross country course without batting an eyelid

The important thing is that you are willing to get on and try again so many people give up at things after a traumatic experience! Good luck and let us know how you get on

 

[padderpaws]

As well as all the above, try reading the book "Move Closer Stay Longer" It deals with fear and is a very good read with lots of things to help.

Stay with it.

 

[Rcross]

I also had a bad fall while trying a horse and still feel nervous now riding any unknown horses. However as everyone has said, I have taken it slowly and now feel completely relaxed on my friend's horse as he is so reliable and have started riding a second friend's horse.

Just take your time.

 

[The-mad-cat-lady]

Thanks everyone
It's easy to think that you are the person in the world with this problem.

 

[icyfreya]

I would really recommend positive visualisation, they tend to help me when i lose my nerve, just imagine yourself getting on, sitting in the saddle, feeling really happy, confident and relaxed, maybe going for a little wonder on the lead rein, but just that it's all completely smooth and fine and fun! I guarantee you if you visualise this several times a day for a week you will feel much more confident about getting on Goodluck!

ps everyone loses their confidence from time to time, especially after a nasty fall, and i think it's really brave of you to be tackling your fears! Especially (i speak from experience) how frustrating & humiliating it can be knowing you're a perfectly capable rider and used to be able to do so much and now you're scared even being lead on a totally safe bombproof horse! But i got over it, so can you!

 

[*hic*]

Thanks for the reply Dee..
I feel such a fool though when I can't even get on a horse

I do know all to well where you are coming from, even down to the "used to be able to fly round an XC course". But speaking of coming from, if you come from anywhere Cambs-ish you're welcome to come and try to sit on my big girl, she's huge but is very very sensible, or if you're little I have a Section A you can squish - she's much nearer the floor! I do at least understand just how it feels

 

[The-mad-cat-lady]

That's for your kind offer Dee..
Unfortunately I'm in the Cotswolds .
I feel so much better this evening.
Glad I took the plunge and posted.

 

[*hic*]

You really are not alone in this

 

[Niddlynoo]

As others have said lots of people loose their confidence at times. I had a nasty fall off my new horse about 10 weeks ago (haven't got him any more!) and my first riding lesson I almost refused to get on. I still have a wobble when mounting but it gets easier. Find a good RI with quiet horses and take your time. Baby steps and don't beat yourself up xx

 

[canteron]

If you want to dip your toe in the hypnotherapy pool the it is worth looking at Sharon shinwell's www.confident-rider.co.uk. They are very definitely only part of the solution but may well help you find the confidence to get on a nicely mannered horse and start rebuilding your riding confidence.

Then it's a brilliant instructor and reliable horses and positive thinking!!! You really can do it - many of us have been there and come out the other side.

 

[1Lucie]

I can sympthise. I had a horse on loan who, particularly on ground, shattered my confidence. So much so i couldnt bring myself to pick out his feet or groom his backend. This had a knock on effect with my riding and i got to the point where i could barely hack up the road and back. Was awful!!!!!!!!!

I purchased my own horse who on paper wouldnt sound ideal (ISH 7year old) but he is the sweetest, most forgiving horse i have ever met. I know he was right when i tired him out and felt confident enough to canter up a steep hill (never ridden on hills as live in fenland!), hacked him and jumped him When i got him at home my nerves returned and i was soo worried about riding him.

But 4months later I am confident, i can do anything with my horse and enjoy long hacks. I am considering doing some fun rides this summer and getting out and about.. i would NEVER of considered this before.

It is possible and u can do it with the right horse. I particularly find if im 100% comfortable on the ground, im so much better in saddle. If your friend doesnt mind, i would spend time grooming or even just stroking her horse and build it up until u feel confident enough to get on.

 

[The-mad-cat-lady]

Many thanks Michelle for your kind words.
I'm using my phone so I can't reply.

 

[The-mad-cat-lady]

Thank you everyone...
You have made me feel more confident already..