Help please!!!

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Beaut

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I have recently given up on my share horse as I have completely lost all of my confidence!!
At the weekend after sitting on my friends horse and doing no more than a 2 minute plod up to the school I jumped off!!! I was so frightened!!
Each time I have rode or been to the yard over the past few months something has happened and I have been bolted with a few times too!
It feels like each time im in the saddle now I am waiting for the horse to do something or bolt off with me!
I have thought about returning to a riding school to help bring my confidence back.. does anyone think this is a good idea or have any other ideas how I can get over this and move on as I love riding and WILL NOT give it up!!!!
 
Sounds like your confidence has taken a big knock. I do believe horses sense when we are nervous or worried (in the wild they pick up on each other. and when they are scared, the whole herd tends to flee in a panic)

I think the riding lessons are a great idea. Go back to basics and build your confidence up slowly. You sound like you are determined to get back to riding confidently, so you're already half way there! :)

Good luck :)
 
Yes, I think this is a really, really good idea. Find a decent riding school with a very understanding instructor, explain the situation, book a private lesson and do as little or as much as you feel comfortable with. If you feel happier, go for a lunge lesson on their ploddiest plod, or if you need it ask for an assistant to walk next to you. Horse riding is NOT supposed to be terrifying (well, at least not all the time) you are supposed to enjoy it, so just do what makes you feel happy and no more and you may find that your confidence returns little by little.
 
if you really don't want to give up then yes try having some lessons at a riding school or if you have a friend with a really quiet ploddy horse ask if you could have a ride on it in the school or something, you will have to build your confidence up bit by bit. it will come but depending on how bad it is for you will depend on how long it takes.

i lost my confidence in a big way a few years ago. i bought a horse and we built a good bond/trust and i knew he would be fine but the first time i sat on him i cried, same goes for the first walk, trot, canter. but now i'm happy to get on most horses again.
 
There are confident rider courses/cd's that might help you... I did a course couple of years ago to try out the mechanical horse. The course was a by product for me but deifinitlely worth it. There were a few people who had lost confidence and I believe it helped them a lot.
 
Yes, def go for a few lessons. Or, if your friend's horse would be suitable and it wouldn't be too awkward to ask/offer friend something for it you could have an instructor give you a lesson on that.

Please don't get in the habit of jumping off (unless it really is a life/death situation). Adjust your goals to something small enough for you to achieve and end on a positive. Even if your first goal is to get on, sit quietly for 1min and get off again. Next time try for a few paces in walk. Then say, the length of the arena and build up from there.

The safer environment of a RS might suit for a while.
 
Find an instructor you like & who can understand your fear, then book 1/2 hr private lessons with them. You need the individual attention, better to go for short & focused on you & your needs than a longer group where you cannot be given the same attention level.
 
Thank you everyone!!
I think a riding school will be the way forward and to set myself small goals and move on from there. Such a shame as I have come so far over the past year! My share horse taught me so much but lack of turnout and lots of overexcitement turnt me into a nervous wreck! :(
Being bolted with in Epping Forest last week was the final straw, the owner told me he doesnt bolt ever and never has! Total LIE!!!! Turns out someone knows this horse and he is infact a bolter!! I would never have got on him in the first place!!!
I am going to pop down to High Beech Riding School at the weekend and have a look around. Can anyone recommend any other riding schools in this area? I am determined and will get over this!!!
Thanks everyone!!!!! :)
 
You will get over it, believe me I'm sure most of us on here at some point has had the wind knocked out of us and totally lost our confidence! I know I have a number of times!!! It's the pure love of horses that brings us back and with the right horse and right instructor you'll soon learnt to not expect the worse and to enjoy the moment. As my old instructor used to say 'It's a high risk sport..but a risk I'm MORE than willing to take'. ;)
 
Hi I have heard High Beech is good. There is no doubt you learn so much from a share or owned horse. Don't take the below as meaning this is like you at all - I am just telling a cautionary tale regarding a friend.
It's a difficult one as I have a friend who has ridden at a riding school regularly for 6 years. I invited her to hack out on my one of our mares, who is no plod but really is a push button ride. Anyway long and short is my friend really has no sense of balance - she balances with her hands and the horses mouth - she has no seat to speak of, so the slightest spook and she's out the side door. She didn't even know about trot diagnols. She rode my mare who again is quite well schooled and never naughty and she had been on her 3 minutes walking in the manege - she asked me if she could trot her and the words 'yes of course' barely left my mouth and my mare bronced into next week throwing my friend through the air- she literally launched herself all 4s several feet off the ground and why???? Because my friend 'kicked' her!!
So please choose your riding school, you need a good instructor and responsive horses that resemble a horse that might be privately owned and isn't dead in mind body and spirit, otherwise you are lulled into thinking this is what riding is like and it's clearly not. Good luck with the riding school.
 
Oh no YasandCrystal! Exactly the reason I want to find a good riding school!! I have learnt more this past year riding my schoolmaster share than I have the whole time at riding schools! They are completely different! I used to have to keep my leg on with the riding school horses (not kick!! eeek)!! but with my share horse he was so responsive! Such a shame to have to step back after coming on so far but I really do need to take small steps for now. My friend has horses that I can groom and do some in-hand so that way I can be around them and not loose it completely!!
I need some hacking lessons also as havent done too much of it and want to so much so am hoping High Beech will be a good place to learn as they have excellent hacking into Epping Forest also!
 
Maybe it would be worth spending lots of time with your friend's horse on the ground as well? You could do some lunging, some loose schooling, practise leading him past spooky things, getting him to move around, getting him to respond to voice commands and so on.

It might be that when you get back in the saddle you'll feel bonded again, and if you know the horse recognises your voice and will stop when you say 'stop' etc you feel a little more confident!

You could practise sitting on your hands to get a feel for when your seat is relaxed - you'd be surprised how much you can feel the difference when you tense up - and also keep reminding yourself when you're riding to breathe! It's amazing how long you can go round holding your breath, but one deep breath in will slow your heart rate down.
 
Good idea from kickonchaps. Handling and watching too are great ways to learn and understand things and improve your confidence. There are some very good riding schools out there and instructors and the better you get of both the more confident you will be that you know how to handle any situation.
Also consider in the future some private lessons perhaps on your friend's horse if you can. It will boost your confidence again.
It's easy to lose your confidence, I think most folk have been there at one time or another, but once you have the love of horses, you can't shake it and you will get your confidence back, just don't beat yourself up!
 
There is a mechanical horse at Stansted which my daughter used a couple of years ago, very good. How about some lunge lessons to take the pressure off you, obviously will need to go somewhere where they have a good lunge horse.
 
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