Help! Re-training OH!

[pottamus]

I need a sanity check and some worldly advice! I am getting myself in a tizz because I have a lot on work wise and seem to be doing more and more in the house and my OH less and less! I just wondered if I am on my own because I am sure not, but has anyone successfully managed to get their OH's doing stuff around the house without being nagged and sulking and moaning or even refusing to do it???
I have racked my brains to think of what I DON'T do in the house and can only think of:
- He irons his own shirt in the morning
- He is supposed to wash up because I cook but it gets left every night so I come home from work the next day and have nothing to cook with from the previous night! Ongoing battle this one!

Other than that he occasionally does something if asked specifically but all house work, cooking, cleaning, other ironing, clothes washing, tidying etc etc is done by me. I am struggling to say the least and need to know if I am just moaning and should get on with it or try to get him doing more???
Sorry for the moan guys...you know how it is!

 

[Horseymum]

Good luck! I have similar problems with my OH, before I arrived on the scene he had lived on his own a long time and appeared quite well trained. This training over the past ten years has been forgotten and he now does absolutely nothing unless I throw a total wobbler. I even once decided to leave the bathroom to see how bad a state it would have to get in before he did anything - I cracked before he did.

 

[alicedove]

This is the thing you have to play the waiting game and it can get really unhygienic.

I do the following: He leaves his pants, socks, shirts etc all everywhere so I put them back as though they are clean. He leaves a pile of paperwork, so I put it in his seat at the dining table.

Once he didn't pay the phone bill through disorganisation, and I was 9 months pregnant (no mobile phones at the time, this is 14 years ago!) so we got cut off, that was funny! He went mad!

Let the mugs accumulate by the computer or by his bed, until he has at least tree at varying stages of dryness and crustiness.

Leave his muddy boots/shoes, but JUST move them a bit further into the thoroughfare so he almost falls over them.

 

[Baggybreeches]

Admit defeat! I have its easier all round!

 

[Cop-Pop]

Good luck!!!

My OH is a total Mummys boy - she used to do everything for him and still would given the chance. He does nothing round the house so it's always messy even when I spend 3 - 4 hours a week cleaning it!!! It's only a tiny 2 bed so shouldn't be that hard.

I suggest starting an auction site and selling them off to new homes

 

[pnap]

You have to make it worth their while - I withhold any type of favour until whatever it is I'm wanting done gets done. He's a total mummy's boy and an only child (and thus obviously only son) so it's sometimes hard work to make him realise that as he lives in the place as well he should take on some of the chores.

 

[_April_]

I am glad to see I am not alone!!

My bf and his old flatmate used to live in squallor... I lived alone in an immaculate flat....

It's like clash of the titans

I do think he honestly doesn't see things.
It's getting better though so I think there might be hope... I just feel like such a nag!

The only other solution would be to have separate houses with an ajoining passage like Helena Bonham-Carter and her husband LOL

 

[Serephin]

I must be really lucky as my OH is very well trained - he will get the hoover out and do the house, will do the washing up (although he hates it) - but he won't clean the bathroom and hardly does any washing, but I refuse point blank to empty the bin or do anything garage/outside related - and when he mentions it, I remind him that he has cleaned the bathroom twice in 3 years which quiets him down - so it evens its self out in the end.

 

[muffinino]

(whispers - maybe this should be in Soapbox

)

Just order him to do stuff like he's an animal, it's the only way with some people. Leave him a list of what you want done, point out that you do everything and he's a lazy so&so. Make a list of what needs doing, divide it out fairly between you and if he doesn't do his share, tell him to pull his blooming finger out!

 

[jumpthemoon]

Well, I came up with a solution for my OH's lack of training

When we moved in together, I said we could either split the jobs 50/50 or he could pay me to do them

So the way I did it was to pay him £15 a week for the food shopping and he pays the rest

Now we've moved to a bigger house, I've obviously got LOTS more cleaning to do

so he has to pay for ALL the food shopping

(which includes shampoo, dog food etc

)

I find it works pretty well, as I still nag him to tidy up after himself and help me out occasionally!

 

[loobiloo]

Completely symapthise - my OH says I'm 'pushing him away' when I ask him to put his clothes in the wash basket rather than next to it. I have learnt to laugh. I know I am fighting a losing battle so now I just say stuff to wind him up

. Wouldn't be so bad but it's not just the house work, we've been living in the spare room which is TINY for nearly 2 years because the bedroom still hasn't been decorated - it has just been plastered

I tried not doing the washing etc but he still didn't care. He does help poo pick though

(oh and he works REALLY hard)

 

[muffinino]

[ QUOTE ]
Completely symapthise - my OH says I'm 'pushing him away' when I ask him to put his clothes in the wash basket rather than next to it. I have learnt to laugh

[/ QUOTE ]

Learnt to laugh?! I think I would learn him that clothes end up on the lawn. My OH leaves his around the place but he does all his own washing etc (I am not paid enough to be his maid) so if he wants them fithy, then they can stay that way. Pushing him away, indeed. God forbid he should have to do it for himself, lol. I sometimes wonder whether some people realise this is 2008, not 1908.