Help regaining confidence in mare after fall

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mar2505

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Had a particularly nasty fall off my non spooky mare and now I am petrified.
I have lessons but the thought of being alone in school fills me with dread.
I am on high alert and constantly looking around or listening out for anything that could be an issue, even a flock of birds flying over!
I think the trouble is I can't understand why she did it or even remember what happened to me.
Can anyone give me some advice on how to stop my heart racing, palms sweating and mind imagining all sorts of things.
Thanks
 
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Don't ride until your instructor is with you. Makes a massive difference to have someone else in the school with you. When having a lesson your be listening instead of thinking about the what iffs when alone. X
 
Thanks but don't laugh, had 2 and told her everything going on around us ie aeroplane going over and could not concentrate on her, think she at wits end!
 
First, just stop.
You are making this into a huge deal in your head by overthinking "why" it happened. You can tell just in your writing!
I know this feeling all too well, I've suffered massively with confidence issues following a nasty fall when I was little resulting in a broken ankle and numerous bad falls since.
The answer is to stop thinking. A breathe, relax and TAKE YOUR TIME!

There is no competition or race to be back out there and doing it confidently again, and don't force yourself to do something that makes you stressed!
I recently took up the ride on a horse I believed would literally kill me and didn't want to be left alone in the school either so they would all wait with me and after 5 days straight they spent less and less time with me until one day I turned round and they had already disappeared back to the yard! And I was fine.

If you go thinking about why and what if then you will never recover, take your time and do things slowly, if it helps your mind settle then why not lunge her and walk her round the school first to ensure she is even less likely to spook. Go to ride at a quiet time of day too, one day you will look back and wonder what you were worried about, just like me!

It might help to get confidence coaching with a professional who specialises in confidence building, you have to admit some instructors can't relate or understand your fears and just push to get things done or only think of the horse.
 
The same thing happened to me 18 moths ago thanks to a badly fitted saddle, not purchased by me I hasten to add.
My confidence took a real hammering and I didn't ride for 4 moths I was so scared.
I eventually got an instructor but still had the "what ifs" going round in my head.
I moved yards in July and met a new group of friends who gently encouraged me to get back in the saddle but I just couldn't get past the fact my mare had chucked me off and I stopped riding. I know it wasn't her fault and she was just trying to get rid off what was causing her pain.
I've had 2 new saddles, had wolf teeth extracted and my mare has had more physio appointments than I dare think about, just to make sure she was ok. But I was still too scared to ride.
However, 6 weeks ago I decided as she hadn't been ridden for some time I would have her reschooled...it's the best thing I have done!!! To see someone else ride her and her not buck or bronc has done wonders for my confidence.So much so I have ridden her in the school twice this week and trotted!!!
This may seem a simple thing to some people but to say at Christmas I was scared to even sit on her, is a massive thing for me.
Have a think about re-schooling or have a friend ride her and having her checked over. She may be in pain and obviously can't tell you.
Good luck and I hope you start to enjoy your mare again soon ��
 
Thanks mollysue and greeneyedmonster, seems patience is the key to it all, my confidence was only ever a 7/10 to start with so this threw me a major curveball, your so right others just don't always get it and you feel pressurised to be like them.
 
Hey no problem...I've never been a super confident rider either and I was mortified when I came off.
It is very easy for other riders to judge but until it happens to you, you don't realise how hard it is.
Your confidence won't come back over night, I won't lie to you but it will come back and yes patience and understanding is the key.
Don't give up, take baby steps, don't trot before you can walk and slowly you will see your mojo coming back.
 
Totally agree with what everyone has said. Don't rush. It doesn't really matter if you can get on, walk 5 or 10 steps and get off again. If you have a day when you feel you CANNOT get on then perhaps lunge or do some in-hand or obstacle work instead. It might take you a few week to regain the confidence that you had before, or perhaps months. It might help to keep a diary so that even if you feel that you are taking teeny tiny steps when you look back later in the year then you will be able to see how far you have progressed?
 
I've been there and am still working on my confidence. Get help from people who you genuinely like and they like you and want to help you, and not judge you. Ask your friends to lead you and keep you chatting - that works wonders, Set yourself up to succeed each and every time, so only ride when it feels right. When you do ride, always quit while you're ahead , even if you've only done 1 lap of the arena. You'll then get off feeling really pleased with yourself and you can build on it very very slowly. It really is months of tiny little baby steps. But it's fine to lose your confidence, it doesn't make you a bad rider, it is just a temporary blip that is repairable if you're kind on yourself and take things slowly.
 
Notimetoride said:
it's fine to lose your confidence, it doesn't make you a bad rider, it is just a temporary blip that is repairable if you're kind on yourself and take things slowly.
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^^^ this.

I had a horrible fright out hacking alone a few weeks ago that knocked my confidence badly. I'm back in the saddle but physically still sore and mentally still traumatised so I'm taking it very very steady and trying to be gentle with myself, body and soul.

You'll get there, just give yourself time and don't put pressure on yourself.
 
If you feel okay with the idea of getting on other horses under an instructor's supervision, I would seriously suggest (funds and transport permitting) going on a day-course to learn a bit of stunt-riding.

I had a period of two or three months when I was really worried about riding H (he'd ditched me two or three times in one week for no apparent reason and I freaked out a bit), and I was utterly amazed how much less worrying the prospect was when I knew I was capable of doing various mad things on horseback (riding backwards in front of the saddle; dangling off the side by one ankle; standing up on top of the saddle; doing a backflip off the side to dismount), especially given I learnt them on a horse that was a full two hands taller than H.

If you don't want to do full-on stunts, though, I'm fairly sure that at least one of the stunt companies I've ridden with do rider confidence courses, which might be more your scene.
 
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