Help Teaching A Friend How To Handle Her Stally?

[QueenOfCadence]

Hey guys

So one of my besties has recently been GIVEN a stunning Boerperd Stallion. He is really gorgeous with an amazing temprement (and amazing bloodlines to match with HUGE expectations for him for the future) BUT my friend is a bit unable to handle him because he scares her (by doing typical stally things like paying more attention to mares than to her, doing his little stally call and by not being an absolute push over) - Her mom has approached me (I'm about 4 years this girl's senior) and asked me to not only come and give dressage/flat work lessons (this girl is more intrested in jumping than dressage - but the flat work is a bit lacking and needs to be properly established) but to also come and "teach" her how to handle her stally because I have had experience with the unsnipped male equines.

Though I have ABSOLUTELY no idea how to teach her to get over the fact that he's a stallion and to get her to handle him like a horse and not an elephant (when she leads him she walks like 2m away from him because she's afraid that he might step on her)? How do I get her a bit more intrested in basic schooling and off of just jumping (in a nice way as she is still young and I am her friend afterall)? I don't want to tell her that she's incompetent (because I don't believe that she is... She just needs some proper tuition)? I WOULD say that they should get a professional rider (preferably somebody who has competed internationally) to come and help and give lessons - but this girl refuses and is stuck on the idea that she'll be fine on her own?

Any ideas how I should approach the situation? I'm supposed to start giving her lessons next week (and riding him for schooling)? The schooling I'm fine with but how do you keep someone's attention in a lesson when they don't actually want to be there?

 

[*hic*]

I would think the biggest help you could be would be to explain exactly what you have said in your OP, that although you have been asked to help you have no idea how to go about it, and insist that she gets someone competent in. I wouldn't have thought an International rider was strictly necessary though

 

[Tinypony]

Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. If she isn't confident with him handling him on the ground then getting lessons from an international rider should be low on her list of priorities.
Are you insured?

 

[QueenOfCadence]

Have told the mom to seek out a bit more professional help, maybe even someone very involved the the Boerperde (as there are A LOT of people in SA who only focus on the breed) - but the mom doesn't want to pay and arm and a leg for lessons. The horse isn't dangerous in any way (doesn't kick, bite or rear) - so it's not a matter of getting someone who works with problem horses, she just needs someone to help the horse get started.

I don't feel like I'm suited to the job however, I have worked with WB stallys and brought up my own horse and I have some other horses that I'm bringing up - but I'm also not sure if I want to get involved with a close friend's horse?

 

[Tinypony]

I don't think she needs someone who deals with problem horses - yet. However she's obviously out of her depth and that's how problem horses get created. If she isn't committed enough to even take the ridden instruction you're offering, and her parents can't be arsed to spend money on helping her to handle her horse confidently (and safely) then I think you should take a bit step back.
I'd just tell them you don't have time to be involved.
The reason I asked if you are insured is because if you try to help and something goes wrong, you know who'll get the blame.

 

[Tinypony]

(Isn't it cool that here I am in the cold UK and you are in SA and we're nattering away like this?) )

 

[spottybotty]

Op in your other posts you are 16yrs old??? So that makes this girl 12? Sorr but as some else said its an accident waiting to happen. The girl is scared of the horse! Not a good combination. Dont get involved.

 

[Tinypony]

No.... she's not 12 years old is she??
Look, stallions can be great, I've known and ridden some lovely stallions, they aren't all raging hormonal beasts. However, if they are handled by people who don't understand them then things can go badly wrong in the blink of an eye. I don't think they are some sort of special case, but do think they should be cared for by experienced people who know what they are doing. I disagree with Pat Parelli on a lot of things, but you could maybe print off this little bit from his website and give it to her parents.
http://www.parellinaturalhorsetraining.com/video/stallion-behavior/


If you are 16 then honestly, I don't think you should be getting involved in this at all and her parents are being quite manipulative trying to get free help out of anyone, let alone a teenager.

 

[QueenOfCadence]

@TinyPony: I agree - and I also don't want to be the one who will be blamed if the horse doesn't rise to expectations (it comes from a long line of very high level dressage horses and some amazing showing horses). I am 16 and I've been giving mostly beginner lessons at the local riding school from the beginning of this year. It wouldn't be free help - it would be paid (not extremely well), and I'd feel even worse taking these people's money if I can't be dead sure that I'll be able to help their child... Who is, 12 (though I've seen parents of 9 year olds buying stallys for their children :L). I personally think it is slightly irresponsible to buy a YOUNG stallion for a YOUNG and inexperienced rider. I think I might turn down the offer (after hearing what you guys have said) - I wont honestly have the time to make a long term commitment either as I'm importing my own 2nd horse from the Netherlands next year and I doubt I'll have time for my multiple commitments if I take on giving lessons to this girl as well.

And honestly I am 16, I wont have the same experience that a 40 year old might have - I wish they would get some professional help as I think that the horse does have a HUGE amount of potential

 

[Gleeful Imp]

I think you have shown a very mature approach to this, and I for one am impressed how you've thought it through - stick to your guns, it seems the best help you can give is to get professional help.

Out of interest, I've never heard of this breed before, any photos?

 

[Toast]

Sounds like an accident waiting to happen, steer clear methinks!

 

[Alexart]

Some idiot has given a 12yr old child a stallion?!!!!:O - This is an accident waiting to happen and is seriously dangerous - even the most well behaved stallions play up from time to time and really need an experienced confident handler.
This childs parents should be ashamed of themselves for putting a child in such a risky position, I am impressed at your mature attitude, but at the end of the day you are also a child and regardless of how much experience you think you have, children should not be in charge of a stallion!!!
Yes they should be treated like any other horse and can be a dope on a rope - but they are driven by hormones and instinct and will take advantage of a situation if it presents itself and the owner is not paying attention, you get too near a mare or a mare gets loose while you're leading said stally - it could be leathal - you have to be several steps ahead of them all the time, even the most experienced people get killed by them.

Please either get this horse gelded - regardless of how amazing he potentially will be - no-one will touch him for breeding if he kills/injures someone through bad handling, or get some tadpoles off him and then geld him if you think he is that amazing - although you really need to speak to someone who knows this breed and can judge wether he may be good or get someone to take him to some shows - pedigree's mean nothing if it looks like the backend of a bus!! I still can't believe someone would be stupid enough to buy a child a stally!!!!!!

 

[becca1305]

I agree with Sparkly Glitter Imp.

I think you already know its a bad idea, but perhaps feel a little guilty for not helping out a friend. However its not your responsibility as others have said the parents sound manipulative trying to get your help or possibly just ignorant, possible since they bought an inexperienced girl a stallion. I don't know how it works in S. Africa but here in the UK if you are paid for work (however poorly) with something like this which would be classified as grooming/instructing then you can be held liable if there is an accident. I would suggest to them that they get professional help. If there are no current issues and for her level of riding atm I wouldn't think she needs an international rider to help, just someone experienced- particularly with stallions if possible- and confident. You will be doing the best thing for her if you advise her to get the right help

 

[QueenOfCadence]

Out of interest, I've never heard of this breed before, any photos?

I don't have any photos of this specific Stally but I'll post some quick examples of the breed (it's basically a South African Sport Horse)

 

[QueenOfCadence]

.

I think you already know its a bad idea, but perhaps feel a little guilty for not helping out a friend. However its not your responsibility as others have said the parents sound manipulative trying to get your help or possibly just ignorant, possible since they bought an inexperienced girl a stallion. I don't know how it works in S. Africa but here in the UK if you are paid for work (however poorly) with something like this which would be classified as grooming/instructing then you can be held liable if there is an accident. I would suggest to them that they get professional help. If there are no current issues and for her level of riding atm I wouldn't think she needs an international rider to help, just someone experienced- particularly with stallions if possible- and confident. You will be doing the best thing for her if you advise her to get the right help

^^I agree Becca... I've made up my mind - I'm just not sure how I'm going to tell her parents though??? Maybe I'll just say that I don't have time as it is partially true and give them a few numbers of some experienced instructors

 

[only_me]

Has she not got any grooms? Only ask because going by friends it is pretty unusual not to have a groom/stablehand in sa.

You could approach one of the older grooms and ask their advice, because chances are they have dealt with difficult horses - a stallion just needs consistent firm but fair handling

A stallion for a 12 year old is not a good idea, unless she has proper experienced help and guidance from someone who regularly works with them. You could suggest that you both go to a stud and watch how they handle the horses?

 

[Jenni_]

Please stay away, please. In this country she couldn't even compete a stallion as iirc most shows state you need to be 14 or 16 to handle a stallion.

My last ride was a beautiful and well behaved ( albeit not very socislised) Andalusian Stallion and even I had some very scary moments with him, and I've handled stallions for years.

Even at 21 I think if I was approached to give 'handling lessons' to handle a stallion I'd say no. Too much to go wrong. Would probably work whilst you were there and she was confident but the minute she's on her own and she gives him an inch, Mark my words he'll take a hundred miles and one more for good measure.

Very mature for 16 you are btw!

 

[Tinypony]

Yep Queenofcadence, I'd just tell them you don't have time. If they try to call you over for a quick bit of informal help then again try to say that you've got things to do and can't really stop. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to just tell them that not only do you not have the time, you don't consider you have the experience and remind them that you are only 16 years old!
Good decision.

"Please either get this horse gelded - regardless of how amazing he potentially will be - no-one will touch him for breeding if he kills/injures someone through bad handling, or get some tadpoles off him and then geld him if you think he is that amazing - although you really need to speak to someone who knows this breed and can judge wether he may be good or get someone to take him to some shows - pedigree's mean nothing if it looks like the backend of a bus!! I still can't believe someone would be stupid enough to buy a child a stally!!!!!! "

Not her decision - not her horse.

 

[QueenOfCadence]

Not her decision - not her horse.

^^ True... If it were my horse I wouldn't have accepted it. It's hardly backed - let alone a stallion. Children usually need nice, calm schoolmasters - not something that scares them out of their wits... I think I'm going to turn down the offer today and say that if they want I can give them some numbers of some great riders, instructors and even some Boerperd Stud Farms that might be able to help out. I'm sure they wont take it to personally because I honestly don't feel I can be blamed... Their reason for approaching me is because I've worked a lady's (absolutely dope on a rope) WB stally before and it went well - and apparently this qualifies me to train/help to train a young stally... Thanx for all the advice you guys (and if it were my horse he would've gone 'snip snip' long ago)