Help! To sell or not to sell daughters pony. Quandry.

Enfys

Enfys

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You advice and opinions good people please. I'm a bit sad. I have almost definitely decided to sell Fergus. Contradiction in terms there, but I am at a crossroads here with him.

My daughter has lost interest in riding, we got her a super, been there, done that, gelding in April and she has ridden him maybe a dozen times. She loves him to pieces but there is always an excuse not to ride, too hot, too windy, the flies are too bad, friend is coming round etc, etc. I have explained that I don't mind if she doesn't want to ride then that is fine, if she does then that is also fine, but I am not keeping a 9y.o pony as a pet.

We have another riding horse if she wants to go out, and half the time she chooses to ride that one anyway.

I know that she will be sad and very angry with me (but she is frequently mad at me anyway these days
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terrible teens have struck and she isn't 12 yet
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) but I also know that although she will miss him for a bit there are so many other things going on that she'll come round. It's not that she can't ride him, or that he does anything wrong, she just doesn't want to ride very much, and that's OK by me.

I am quite sure that other parents have been in this situation and I would really appreciate some help please.

Keeping him isn't a problem as we don't pay livery, but he is only 9, and, bless him, he is bored. He deserves more than the odd ride now and then.

Thankyou
 
Well I bet you can guess what I will say to this.......sell, without a doubt. I won't keep any horse if it is sitting idly in the field doing nothing and certainly not one of my childrens.

Our eldest daughter had a few ponies; one died and the next one I sold as she never did anything with it. Then I bought a little pony as a companion and she started to ride it, adored messing around on her so much so that she asked if I would buy her another horse, so I sold the companion pony and bought her a beautiful jet black Connemara X TB, really nice small horse which she had a wonderful time riding all Summer long.....then came the Winter.....
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Well she wouldn't look after him so I told her that I would sell him if she didn't. She didn't, so I did. Made 4 times the amount I paid for him so I was very happy. I guess she was about 13 or 14 at that time. Couldn't believe it the next Spring when she asked me if I would buy her another one - of course by this stage I'd learned my lesson and I said no.

Our youngest daughter who is 10 years old, is very very horsey, does anything asked of her outside, and rides every single day regardless of how cold it is, how windy it is, or how hot it is. She spends most of her waking moments playing with the horses. We obviously wouldn't have shipped her pony over from England if she hadn't been so attached and committed, but she is and I really can't see her ever not wanting to be involved in the horses.......horses are her life!

If youngest daughter did for some reason decide that she didn't want anymore to do with horses then I wouldn't sell her British pony as she is with us for life and I adore her and would ride her from time to time, however her other horse would for sure be sold unless I could find a job for him to earn his keep.

Sorry but I am heartless - money in the bank is worth more than a pretty field ornament to me.
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I wondered from your post, does your daughter have company, friends with ponies to ride out with? Is she a member of pony club? I remember as a child having lots of girls my own age with ponies and my social life revolving around horses.

I think this makes a huge difference if she has, and is still not too interested. If it is a case of her not having friends to share her fun with etc, would it be possible to involve one of friends with riding so they can do things together. As a little girl being on your own with a pony, if your friends are non-horsey could cause a commitment struggle.

The other thing is, does she have some goals, like going to shows and making lots of friends, pony camp etc.

I would personally want to avoid upsetting her by going ahead and selling the pony, without trying different avenues to increase her enjoyment. If it were a case of her just not being interested and wishing to do other things, after serious talks then the way forward would be to sell the pony.

When I was sixteen and starting college, I found a new set of friends and did'nt want to ride as much. My mum warned me for a week and then sold my beloved pony, I am now 38 and still upset by it. I was'nt given the chance to sort myself out and the hurt it caused me, unfortunately is still as raw to this day.

I saved up for two years whilst at college to buy another horse, after failing to buy back my pony. A costly lesson.

This is why I am suggesting the soft approach, others may disagree.
 
I'd have given my right arm for a three-legged donkey when I was a kid. Never recovered from my horse deprivation as a child and am surgically attached to ours. My kids, fortunately, do their ponies quite willingly, though 15yo boy is not so keen on the early mornings. I couldn't sell because I am too soft - so I loan them all out!
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I think I recognise myself in Brighteyes - I had a whole stable of home made hobby horses & used to use them for "Show Jumping" in the garden (canes on flower pots in case you are wondering). Have covered myself by having son's current pony on loan or I will end up with a herd of retirees.
Having said that if I were you I would sell given that he is only 9, but if necessary give her a month to come to terms with the idea.
 
i bought my nephew a pony and all summer he was with me every day dealling with the pony but come winter he lost total interest!.... explained to him that if he did not make more of an effort then pony would be sold as i was not keepin a 11.3hh pony for my use, i am 5ft6!!....gave him 2 months to change his ways and still no joy so the pony was sold. she was only young so would have been total waste to sit in a field lookin pretty. he's 4 years older now and still only enjoys doing the horses in the summer, come winter he does not want to know so even though he keeps pestering me for another horse i will not give in and have told him if he can show to me that he is willing to do a horse all summer and winter then will reconsider and get him one. up to now he still only emerges in the summer and does maybe one week of the winter but as soon as weather is a little bit horrid he disapears!!...so my answer is still no!......hopefully he will change his ways as he is really good round the horses and they seam to like him, i have photos of my last foal at 4 hours old and he is hugging her round the neck and she loved it!!
 
I think that you should sell the horse. he needs the regular riding and besides she has another horse she can ride if she wants to. My eldest dughter was really into ponies and would ride and muck out whatever the weather. We then got her a horse, but then she discovered boys, shoppin, pubs etc, and started not to want to ride every day, when she did ride she was bored after 20 mins. I took over riding the horse, but had i not had the time and inclination i would have definitely have sold him, as i think horses need riding and are too expensive to keep as field ornaments.
 
I agree with you if daughter does not want to keep riding on a more regular basis,sell or loan pony.Would tell her she has a month to show willing then advertise pony.
My daughter(15) went through this with her new horse and we did have similiar argument but that was mainly me saying I'd take horse as I love her to bits.Wasn't expecting daughter to do horse every day but expected a certain level of commitment to justify horse(we do pay livery).We managed to come an arrangement so works out ok now but if she loses interest in future horse will be either sold or I will take her.
 
I think the best option is to allow a month and then sell the pony I'm afraid. She is very lucky to have her own pony - and if she does not have the interest then I dont think the pony should be kept - also as you say you do have another horse she can ride when she wants to.
Also look at it from the other point of view - technically the pony is depreciating in value for every month that it is sat in the field.
 
I can totally see where you are coming from and why selling might be in the pony's best interests as well as yours. On the other hand, April is not that long ago to have bought him and I would just want to take stock of a couple of things before taking a final decision.

Firstly, is there something in the pony that she is not happy/confident/right about? Sometimes this can be very small, illogical or difficult to talk about, but can easily be ironed out once you have identified it. I have known kids who just didn't click or want to spend time with the most gorgeous ponies, but went on to be very very happy with another one. And others with whom that bond just took a little bit longer.

Secondly, I'm sure I remember you moved country in the not too distant past. This would make me want to double or even treble check that she knew that you had serious intentions of selling the pony, and that she really did want that to happen. And I would try to do it with as much calmness and lack of upset as I could muster.

We have relocated our kids three times, and although it has always ended up really positive I now realise it took them longer to adapt to some things inside than appeared on the outside.

And if you do sell, maybe lots of assurances that another pony could be bought if her interest really revived.
 
Put the pony she does like riding on loan, and this will give her a chance to focus on building a bond with the new one.

We got Ebony 2 years ago, and only really since Christmas when Jessie hurt her shoulder and hasn't been ridable has my daughter a chance to focus 100% on her.

When we got her, she would only travel in company (wouldn't load), was bargy, and a real handful. Alex didn't want to ride her. TBH, we came so close to selling her a few months ago, but since she has had the time and effort put on her, she has come good - so much so, we are considering affiliating her now, and Alex is keen to ride her
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