Help with riding&groundmanners w/ dominant mare!!

[midi]

May I request some help please!
Quite a few rambling questions, so please bear with me.
Okay, I ride and harass family friend’s mare.
I’m starting to experience trouble with her though; she’s a very dominant horse anyway but I feel she no longer has any respect for me.

Question 1. Riding

First few weeks of riding her she was great! Very forward going and responsive and I had to slow her down rather than asking for speed! I’ve always had trouble cantering her though; she was trained as a driving pony so that’s probably a part and I’m not exactly the best rider. But I realised if I made a swishing sound with my voice which I guess sounds like a whip she would go straight into a canter.
Family friend was surprised at how well we were getting on – as she’s usually a bit of a plod.

Okay fast forward weeks/probably months now .
& shes returned to a plod. I’m having trouble keeping her in a trot at times. Cantering? Impossible! My cheat of whistling no longer has any effect.
I rode the otherday with a schooling whip and did a lot of walk trot transitions and she was a lot more responsive, but I still can’t get her into a canter.

Does anyone have any tips or things I could do? I was thinking perhaps she was getting bored too - I don’t ride in a school though I ride around farm which is basically orchards and fields and past the road. Is there any things I could to make it a bit more interesting for her? & what should I do about my riding is there any specific I should do when asking her to canter?

Question 2.

Along with her lack of responsive her manners on the ground with me have worsened, when leading she will literally dart and drag and run over me to grass, absolute no respect for me.
I try to go NO and pull her before she goes down but she’s far too strong and I just get squashed ;_; this is starting to become frustrating.
I tried to do join up with her, and got one semi successful join up well “follow up” but I never received all the signs of submission only tighter circles and ear flicked on me – though she did follow me until she got distracted by family coming over.
However I can’t even do join up or lunging anymore as I can’t drive her out to go round, she just stands her ground and gets aggressive.

Other than this shes lovely. I promise ! I just wish she respected me.

Help please ;___;
Im probably just a huge pushover and I'm a total noob I need guidance ! xx
Thanks so much haa

 

[M'n'M]

Just one small bit of advice:

When you are leading her make her back up a lot. Backing up is submissive. Get it to where you barely have to touch her. Make her go sideways a lot too, also submissive. When she eats you could try making her go faster. So, lead her with a lunge line and when she puts her head down to eat put a TON of energy into asking her to trot around you. When she does it let her go a couple times around to get the picture and then continue doing what you were.

I don't know, this has worked for me in the past. Just being a stickler about what you want and make sure she only puts her feet where you tell her to. If she puts one foot forward when you didn't ask, put it back. Little stuff like that makes all the difference

 

[amandap]

May I say please don't attempt join up or faster/driving loose work with a horse that is potentially aggressive and has no regard for your personal space. When a horse is loose and feels threatened it can turn on you if pressured. Just take care.

The first thing I'd look to is, my same old thing , her diet. At the moment the grass is causing many problems for horses and owners and hers may be related to sore feet and 'hyperness' or irritability (very scientific lol) from inbalances and excesses in carbs etc. The reluctance to canter may be a symptom of tender feet etc.

I think that often apparently dominant horses are actually more fearful than we think and react in a more assertive way out of insecurity and defensiveness. This is a personal view but calm, consistant ground exerises making sure she is rewarded for small things she does right will help. I'd also slow down and perhaps go back to more basic and perhaps fun stuff and build again from a solid foundation.

 

[tazzle]

I echo amandas advice ... trying to do join up with her sounds very risky

her behaviour could be caused by a lot of things including ( as amanda says) dietery, hormonal or pain issues .. or even frustration.... and I would look to these before addressing the behaviour itself by training / schooling.

I think you might best be served by getting an observation / assessment by someone emotionally independant who may see things you dont when you are in the middle of it all.

Peronally I'd forget canter.... or maybe even anything more than a gentle hack , until the groundwork is in place and you are both communicating softly with each other.

imo if she is not "with" you on the ground she will not be "with" you when you are riding