Help with what I should advise non horsey friend buying a pony

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Field04

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I spoke with a friend of mine the other day who has young children, one of whom rides. She is 8 years old and used to ride with my daugther. My friend now wants to buy a pony for her daughter as she saw her cheap they are to buy.

I don't want to be mean, but she has no horse experience whatsoever, and would have no clue how to look after one. I asked her where she was planning on keeping the pony and she said in her garden or find someone with a horse and 'bung' it in with that. I have suggested she puts it on livery where her daughter now rides as it will be properly looked after. She is not keen on this idea.

I basically would like some ideas of things to tell her she must think about. So far I have: best off keeping in livery, does not know how to feed or how much to feed, colic and laminitis. I would like to put her off buying one because its cheap to keep in her garden.

Thanks
 
I'd say Take her to a reputable local livery yard and explain the routine so she gets a better idea of what is involved. Pony in garden or on random field with totally incompetent owner sounds like a disaster brewing.
 
Give her a breakdown of what it actually costs to keep a pony...
Livery £300 PCM min Part livery
Insurance £25 a month
Farrier £50 a set
Routine vets (jabs ect) £70 per year
Feed £10 plus a week
Hay £4 a bale....pony will eat one every other day in winter
Tack £how long is a bit of string

And tell her a pony CANNOT be kept in a back garden unless its a min of two acres of fenced pasture!
 
I know, I could actually fall out with her about it as I just think the pony cannot properly be cared for. I have 2 ponies, one for me and a shetland type for my girls. There is no way my 8 year old could catch the shetland without me, do its feet, look after it properly. They are a lot of work and she does not understand this. I already feel sorry for the pony and she hasn't even got it yet!!!
 
joeanne said:
Give her a breakdown of what it actually costs to keep a pony...
Livery £300 PCM min Part livery
Insurance £25 a month
Farrier £50 a set
Routine vets (jabs ect) £70 per year
Feed £10 plus a week
Hay £4 a bale....pony will eat one every other day in winter
Tack £how long is a bit of string

And tell her a pony CANNOT be kept in a back garden unless its a min of two acres of fenced pasture!
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Agree with this. If it doesnt work maybe advise of her legal responsibilities towards the pony and the five freedoms etc. If that doesnt work and she is the protective type tell her her kids could get hurt
 
Eek!
We've kind of got one of them at my yard. The very young daughter has been riding for 2yrs but doesn't really know anything and mother knows even less. They didn't know how to tack up, or even tie a lead rope :(
So, they bought a large, feisty pony, who was previously ridden by a competent teen. I'm very glad that although my yard lack some things, they're really helpful to people who know nothing. I really hope it works ok out!!


No help I'm afraid, good luck and I hope this goes as well as it can D:
 
Wow! It amazes me the ideas some people come up with and what they think is acceptable. I guess she just doesn't understand what goes into caring for a pony. Take her with you when you see to yours OP and show her where you keep them and your routine, explaining why you do the things you do. That way she can see exactly what's involved and make an informed decision over if that's a commitment she's willing to make.
 
Can you invite her to spend a couple of days helping you take care of yours? Perhaps it might shock her into realizing the amount of work and responsibility involved . . .

P
 
Put it in her terms - can she afford to buy & run a 2nd hand elderly car?
If not, then even a pony will be as (if not more) expensive!

Purchase price
Annual MOT (vet check/vaccinations)
Petrol (feed/hay)
Parking fees (livery)
Tyres (shoes/trims)
Repairs (vet visits for inuries/illness etc)

Then there is saddlery/rugs, childs clothing (they do grow out of gear) travel to & from pony, who is going to look after it when mum cannot, and much more to add...............

Finally, you can't just put the key on the side when you have had enough of it........
 
I would suggest she has some stable management lessons so she can learn a bit about how to look after a pony. Explain her 8 year old should never be left unsupervised with the pony, as this is dangerous, and she should be responsible for bringing it in from the field and recognising any signs of ill health, checking minor wounds, organising shoeing, clipping and so on. Really lay it on thick about how much time she will have to invest.

You should also explain that the pony cannot be kept on its own, as they are herd animals, and this is cruel. If she is safety concious, explain the pony may become more unpredictable if it is not kept with company. Explain it may become distressed and injure itself. What is her garden like? If she has close neighbours they may well complain about a horse being kept there, especially if it was not secure!

I would also go through a breakdown of costs with her. Explain about unexpected costs she will face on top of this, and all the one off equiptment she will need to buy. It's also worth pointing out that cheap ponies are usually cheep for a reason.

If she is still insistant at this stage, then at least she is going in with both eyes open. Perhaps you could go and see the pony after she has bought it, and if you have any concerns for its welfare, suggest she addresses them. If she doesn't, then I would call the BHS, or another equine charity, who should hopefully give her good advice and explain to her how serious a comitment taking on a pony is!

There are some good leaflets in the welfare section of the BHS website with a breakdown of average costs that you could show her. It might seem more "official" this way. http://www.bhs.org.uk/helping-horses-and-riders/free-leaflets
 
Do you know the pony she wants to buy ? If you know the owner or are aware who they are maybe speak to them about the conditions she is planning on keeping the pony in that would stop me selling that's for sure ! If not just be really frank with her and tell her she is an eejit , has no clue about what's she is letting herself in for , advise some stable management lessons for both at a local riding school , hope she changes her mind .
 
Penumbra said:
I would suggest she has some stable management lessons so she can learn a bit about how to look after a pony. Explain her 8 year old should never be left unsupervised with the pony, as this is dangerous, and she should be responsible for bringing it in from the field and recognising any signs of ill health, checking minor wounds, organising shoeing, clipping and so on. Really lay it on thick about how much time she will have to invest.

You should also explain that the pony cannot be kept on its own, as they are herd animals, and this is cruel. If she is safety concious, explain the pony may become more unpredictable if it is not kept with company. Explain it may become distressed and injure itself. What is her garden like? If she has close neighbours they may well complain about a horse being kept there, especially if it was not secure!

I would also go through a breakdown of costs with her. Explain about unexpected costs she will face on top of this, and all the one off equiptment she will need to buy. It's also worth pointing out that cheap ponies are usually cheep for a reason.

If she is still insistant at this stage, then at least she is going in with both eyes open. Perhaps you could go and see the pony after she has bought it, and if you have any concerns for its welfare, suggest she addresses them. If she doesn't, then I would call the BHS, or another equine charity, who should hopefully give her good advice and explain to her how serious a comitment taking on a pony is!

There are some good leaflets in the welfare section of the BHS website with a breakdown of average costs that you could show her. It might seem more "official" this way. http://www.bhs.org.uk/helping-horses-and-riders/free-leaflets
Click to expand...

The leaflets are a great idea, I will show her those. Thanks
 
Beau jangles said:
Do you know the pony she wants to buy ? If you know the owner or are aware who they are maybe speak to them about the conditions she is planning on keeping the pony in that would stop me selling that's for sure ! If not just be really frank with her and tell her she is an eejit , has no clue about what's she is letting herself in for , advise some stable management lessons for both at a local riding school , hope she changes her mind .
Click to expand...

I don't know the pony she wants to buy, but I do know the website she was looking at. She said they were around 300 euros. I checked out the website and she has been looking at unbroken, nearly broken, stallions etc. Not good riding ponies suitable for children. It worries me she just wants it so she can say 'my kids have a pony' type thing.
 
There have been afew suggestions to bring her to see how I look after mine. I do think she is a good idea, its unfortunate that its summer and is the most agreeable time of year to look after them. Not having to be out in the snow, rain or cold giving hay and looking after them. Trapsing through thick mud, and managing the fields etc.

I keep mine at home as have lots of land, I love having them here but the time and work, as we all know, is a lot. Also the added expense of putting in a hard standing area, a shelter. Always checking fencing, etc. etc. etc.

Why are people so stupid to think because they are cheap to buy they are easy and cheap to look after???
 
Field04 said:
I don't know the pony she wants to buy, but I do know the website she was looking at. She said they were around 300 euros. I checked out the website and she has been looking at unbroken, nearly broken, stallions etc. Not good riding ponies suitable for children. It worries me she just wants it so she can say 'my kids have a pony' type thing.
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This sounds so dangerous. Can your really, really impress on her that these ponies will probably not be safe for a novice or an 8 year old to handle, and definately not safe for an 8 year old to ride?

I am not completely against inexperienced people buying ponies for their children, but it does need to be the right pony, kept in the right environment. If you are in Ireland (I'm guessing from the Euros?) then maybe the market is different, but over here I would say she needs a budget of at least £ 1000-2000 to get something safe and sensible/proven.
 
Penumbra said:
This sounds so dangerous. Can your really, really impress on her that these ponies will probably not be safe for a novice or an 8 year old to handle, and definately not safe for an 8 year old to ride?

I am not completely against inexperienced people buying ponies for their children, but it does need to be the right pony, kept in the right environment. If you are in Ireland (I'm guessing from the Euros?) then maybe the market is different, but over here I would say she needs a budget of at least £ 1000-2000 to get something safe and sensible/proven.
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I am going to go through all the adverts with her when I see her, and point out exactly why they are not suitable. I did already mention before even seeing the adverts that from the price she was saying I would guess they were unbroken and too young. Then I took a look and saw that I was right.

I am not against her buying one either, IF she was to kept it at a livery stables. She knows absolutely nothing about horses and caring for them and she is being completely unrealistic to believe her 8 year old knows enough. The problem is I have known her a long time and I know how her mind is working and it definatly is about caring for a pony, just buying one and letting her daughter look after it.

I am in France by the way, thats why it is in euros.
 
There was a youngish pony at the yard I am on like that, last year. Mother thought it would be 'cheaper' riding for her 'experienced' 12 year old than going to lessons. It all ended in tears - mother got freaked by the 7-day a week need for stable duties, pony had to fit in with socialising, shopping, getting nails done etc so didn't get enough work, pony therefore got sillier when ridden causing girl to lose confidence, mother had no spare money for lessons and no gumption or desire to improve her own pony-handling skills. They ended up hating the poor pony. This lady had been warned explicitly by a mutual horsey friend NOT to buy a pony, but some folk just don't listen. I was sorry for the pony, which was luckily sold after 6 months to a home where things seem to have worked out.
 
Field04 said:
I am going to go through all the adverts with her when I see her, and point out exactly why they are not suitable. I did already mention before even seeing the adverts that from the price she was saying I would guess they were unbroken and too young. Then I took a look and saw that I was right.

I am not against her buying one either, IF she was to kept it at a livery stables. She knows absolutely nothing about horses and caring for them and she is being completely unrealistic to believe her 8 year old knows enough. The problem is I have known her a long time and I know how her mind is working and it definatly is about caring for a pony, just buying one and letting her daughter look after it.

I am in France by the way, thats why it is in euros.
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I feel so sorry for you, as I see the potential this all has to end in tears, with either a neglected pony, or her daughter getting injured. I would try not to fall out with her, for the pony's sake as much as anything, so at least you can hopefully check it is being looked after properly.

I don't know how you can impress on her that an 8 year old should not be in sole charge of her first pony, without, at the absolute minimum, an experienced teenager/adult in shouting distance. Could you ask what she would do if the pony got away from the child whilst being led, the pony was being agressive in the stable, the pony was playing up, so the child couldn't lead it?

Could she be persuaded to offer a responsible older teenager/small adult riding in exchange for supervising her daughter some of the time?
 
Penumbra said:
I feel so sorry for you, as I see the potential this all has to end in tears, with either a neglected pony, or her daughter getting injured. I would try not to fall out with her, for the pony's sake as much as anything, so at least you can hopefully check it is being looked after properly.

I don't know how you can impress on her that an 8 year old should not be in sole charge of her first pony, without, at the absolute minimum, an experienced teenager/adult in shouting distance. Could you ask what she would do if the pony got away from the child whilst being led, the pony was being agressive in the stable, the pony was playing up, so the child couldn't lead it?

Could she be persuaded to offer a responsible older teenager/small adult riding in exchange for supervising her daughter some of the time?
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She doesn't know anyone else horsey who could help with riding and supervising, the only way would be to keep it at a stables. I don't want to come across as a b***h when I talk to her, but at the same time can't pussyfoot around it either.
 
Oh dear. Obviously thinks this horse stuff is easy peasy until someone probably gets hurt & in the pocket.

I would take her to a good riding school /livery yard just if only to speak to them as their experiences of pony. Definitely do this. If she wont do this take her to the local equestrian shop for an honest opinion. Take her for some viewings get her kids to try a pony out and see if they fall off!

Also tell her to wait until its cold icy. Can she afford hay, farrier etc etc. Although she can keep a pony cheap its what will she end up with, if the kids get hurt, etc

Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. She could be lucky but I doubt it.

I guess she will need to go to a shop for the riding hat so get her to vent her idea to the staff.
 
Give a good book on horse care and management.

Make her do a stable management course.

Basically tell her straight.
Its not impossible to have a horse with little experience but she has to accept good advice.
So full livery would be a good idea to start.
Explain you can't just chuck a horse in a garden or any field.
All the hidden costs etc.
 
Spend a great deal of time moaning about how much poo picking you have to do and how much it stinks at this time of year. Also grumbling about horses jumping/trashing fences and eating herbaceous borders, or causing other mayhem.

If all else fails, suggest Follyfoot farm books as suitable bedtime stories for the eight year old. They are full of tales of ponies in gardens, which never end well...

Good luck!
 
The child will still need lessons on her new pony.Ask her where the lessons will take place if the pony isn't kept on a yard.Has she factored in the cost of lessons? We pay £20 an hour for an instructor to come to us.If there isn't a school within hacking distance,how will she get child and pony there?

Will she know what to check if the pony starts behaving badly? Could be tack,back,feet,teeth,spring grass,in season,lack of company,or generally taking the pee.

Good luck with convincing her of the expensive truth about horse/pony ownership.
 
Why dont you also tell her to go and view, try some nice little ponies. She may change her mind as most will be unsuitable. Hope her children bounce.
 
She sounds like she doesn't really want advice. Let her get on with it. People rarely appreciate interference from others however appropriate or well meaning. And be ready to phone the welfare people when it all goes pear :(
 
If it were me I wouldn't be able to do that, horsemadmum1 :( I've known so many people who were novices when they bought and initially struggled but thrived with friendly advice and support. The only reason I didn't struggle was I had mine on a great working livery yard with an owner who thrived on helping new owners find first their ideal horse then their feet :)

Could you sit down with this lady and help her draw up a budget? If you humor her about the back garden idea for a while, she may still think twice about her plan if she rrealises a) it'll be a mudbath quickly (what will the neighbours say?) b) she won't have a nice garden again, ever, without moving the pony and starting from scratch, c) ponies chew/lean on/ destroy fences, trees, benches etc (what will the neighbours think of her scabby back yard), d) how much it will cost to keep pony in hay after the grass has run out on day 2, e) how to treat a pony if grazing a big field with others and it comes down with lami f) vet costs when it eats a poisonous border plant g) where will daughter ride it h) who will look after it if daughter loses interest I) work out the actual cost of the pony per ride. You get the gist.

And watch out, I have a feeling she may see you as the ideal place to keep her pony, and before you know it you'll be doing full livery for nowt.
 
What's the loan market like in France? Maybe she could start off with a part loan from an experienced owner who would help mother and kids learn the ropes. Do the local riding schools offer "own a pony" days? Or maybe a local riding school offers a part loan scheme, or help with buying a suitable pony which could then be on working livery - thus supervised.

My 9yo is pretty independent with her pony. She can bring in from the field, groom, tack up, school, feed, put rugs on and off, muck out and poo pick. All obviously under supervision still but it does mean I can get on with other jobs without having to do absolutely everything for the pony now. In fact during the summer holidays this year I'm going to suggest for the first time that she goes up with her non-horsey dad to ride on the days I'm working and he's child minding.

Mind you, she's been around ponies all her life, and I've always encouraged her to help with the jobs where she can.
 
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