Help- writing an ad for Harry

BroadfordQueen

BroadfordQueen

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He is officially going up on a horse website tonight (not sure which though, thinking horsemart to start with and see what respose we get from that?). And i am officially RUBBISH at writing ads. And mum said she is too busy but will check it over for me when ive done it. So i need your help *pretty please!*..

This is Harry and everything about him. Could you help me decide how to put it in an ad, and what not to include?

Harry Hobnob. Chestnut 10 year old welsh section D gelding. 14.2hh. Bought him this time last year to hunt and have fun on, and he certainly has been fun! Hunted him all season nearly every saturday, he would go for hours (Sometimes all day!) across any country, and jump ANYTHING- was always giving people leads. Was very well behaved at the boxing day meet, even when going past antis who tried to scare him! Once hunting season ended, teamchase season begun, and he was brilliant. Always went clear, our team did very well (video available of the Fernie TC on viewing). He then had a few months off in the field. Been back in work just over a month, and has been placed EVERY TIME OUT showjumping, winning most of them (classes up to 3"3ft), really fast against the clock and has such amazing scope. We have also taken him xcountry schooling and he has been fab. Would love hunter trialling. He is however not a novice ride, he isnt strong or naughty but you need to be brave else he takes advantage. Hacks alone/in company, totally traffic proof, 100% all ways. lives in/out. never been unsound since we bought him! been the most fun pony ever and deffinately a regretful sale, due to having Tara to focus on.

and how much shall i ask for him?was thinking £2650 ONO.

Any help greatly appreciated as im totally clueless and i want to get it right
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Harry Hobnob. Chestnut 14.2hh 10 year old welsh section D gelding. Proven hunter and team chaser, goes first or last. Bold XC. SJ - Won approx £300, placed everytime up to 3ft 3. Scopy and fast against the clock. Safe, but not a first pony, most suited to someone who likes to compete. Hacks alone/in company, 100% all ways. lives in/out.£2650 ONO. Video available.

There you go
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Generally a nice advert, I think some of the sentences are a bit unprecise & is some parts its a bit emotional; heres a draft Ive just done, which is slightly less wordy, dont expect you to use it, as it is by no means perfect, but you might want to look at the diff between the two....

14.2hh, 10 year old welsh section D gelding. Bought as a fun pony last summer, a role which he has indefinitely fulfilled. Harry is a fantastic, bold hunter, who will hunt all day over the biggest country, he hunted all of the 06/07 season with the…. This Spring Harry successfully team chased, and was always fast & clear, (video available of the Fernie TC on viewing). After being let down for the beginning of the Summer, Harry has now been back in work for a month, during which time he has been placed or won EVERY TIME OUT show jumping (3"3ft), Harry is both scopy and fast against the clock, in a previous home he gained £300 BSJA winnings. Harry has also proved bold xc (would suit hunter-trialling,) hacks alone/in company and is 100% to handle. Lives in/out. He is however not a novice ride, and needs a confident rider to allow him to continue his progress. Regretful sale as rider has moved on to horses.
 
I think FMC's ad is very good.

Tells you enough but not to much. If they want to know more they will call.

I sold both off mine from horsemart, but got a lot of call from horsequest to.
xxx
 
just a thort, i reckon u could get more money for a fab pony like that, esp with bsja winnings, and hes only 10. i was thinking more like £3500 - £4 ??
 
I do prefer FMC's as it gets to the point and you do not have to read long sentences to find out his information. I do think the asking price is quite fair aswell. Good luck selling him!
 
On the pricing thing, I had a 14.2HH who was steady, reliable but confident enough to XC and he was £3000. I think you could ask more for harry due to his recent winnings and BSJA. You can always lower a price but not raise it.
 
we dont care about price AT ALL, we dont want to make money on him, home is actually far more important than price to us with harry so we are just going to advertise him cheap and interrigate all prospective buyers to make sure they are right for him!
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FMC yours is fab thanks, showed my mum and she said its fine, tweaked a few things here and there (cant put he goes first or last teamchasing as i have never tried him in the lead out teamchasing before, and have expanded on the hunting/teamchasing as thats what we want to sell him as).

am just debating which website to put him on, either horsemart or horse deals- not horse quest as there isnt a hunting section and ideally we want him to go to a hunting home.

thanks for all the help
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I don't think you are advertising him for enough!!

Just because you advertise him for less, doesn't been you will necessarily get a better home for him.
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