Help!

[AbbeyandApache1]

I need some more advice from you lot on what to do, I am 16 and own a 13hh green, cheeky and large looking 5 year old traditional type cob, I love him to death but I m not quite sure if we are comparable with one another, as i have recently lost a lot of confidence. meaning I often doubt myself and the effectiveness of my aids so am effectively riding with the handbrake on after plenty of bad experiences with my previous pony who was bonkers to the point of bring dangerous as she broke gates, fences attacked other horses as well as being uncooperative and rude. I was never a nervous rider before, but i am one now. I ve been riding horses for 3/4 of my life from the age of four. I would really like my confidence back and am going to see an instructor soon to get it back. I m just not sure whether he's the right horse for me, as i would eventually like to have fun on him and be able to ride out on him with my mum, but as he is a cob he's really strong and I do sometimes feel frightened of him. The experience of my previous horse has marred our relationship as I m not confident enough to discipline him as I don't want to do it wrong. Help. I know firstly I should get my mojo back but then what? Sell him on? keep him? If I did sell him on what would you suggest? I would prefer a larger horse after Apache at about 15hh after a 13hh one? Anyway whats your opinion?!

 

[Lippyx]

Firstly calm down. Definitely get a good instructor involved who will not only advise if you are good together but can also help you train him. A good instructor is worth their weight in gold. My instructor is the best and has made me such a better rider who believes in what I can do!
After a few lessons you may find you feel totally different and want to persevere with him. If not then there is no point keeping a horse that you cannot get on with, and when you start looking again take your instructor with you. A 15bh cob cross should be fine, what do you want to do in the future with your horse?

 

[michelleyork]

Personally I would wait until your lesson with your instructor and at the very beginning tell them your concerns, and ask them for their absolute honest opinion.

I may have miss read, but how long have you had this pony for? Is it still early days and pony needs time to settle?

Also pony is still very young, so plenty of time for education and training with out having to make a snap decision.

If you do decide to sell pony, it is not te ideal time of year - mainly due to the amount of people heading of to uni - also pony from the sounds of it is not everyones ride, so not an easy one to sell, obviously depending on your price expectations.

In my personl opinion, if pony is in the main 'safe' I would work on pony over the winter, invest in plenty of lessons and make a decision coming out of the winter.

Would it be possible to ride someone elses horse if you want a bigger one? Confidence can take an age to build and a moment to shatter, if pony knows you are nervous it's more than likely taking the mickey

 

[competitiondiva]

I think firstly you need some lessons with your current pony to see if a good instructor can work with both of you to get a partnership going. Then after a few weeks of lessons you can then decide if the pony is right or not. Regarding height, only you know how you look/feel on him. A bigger horse can mean more strength. I'd also have some lessons on other horses too, to try to boost your confidence. Regular riding will help with confidence issues. I lost my confidence to jump, the only way to get it back was to keep doing it. The minute I stopped so did my confidence. It's always hard to get confidence back, and sometimes I think it's impossible. I still years after loosing my confidence jumping, cannot push a horse to jump a fence it doesn't naturally want to jump itself. My brain just won't engage with the legs!!! lol! Good luck with it. x

 

[Fii]

Are you talking riding in a school or hacking?
I think you are right to get an instructor, they can see you riding, we cant, and they (if you choose carefully) will/should give you more confidence.
Have you tried riding on a loos-ish rein, while someone holds you on a lunge line? (in a school) this may give you more confidence, as in not holding on to him so much, and seeing that he wont take off with you. Holding him in will probably rev him up more, which in turn makes you want to hold him in more. If you see what i meen.
Also if you want to hack, make sure you go with someone who is happy to go at your pace, do some walk trot transitions, so that you become confident in your brakes, and onley push yourself further when you are happy to do so.

 

[AbbeyandApache1]

Thanks will take that on board, suzzanne my instructor is currently making me ride "the thug" with no brakes! He wears a natural horsemanship headcollar under his bridle, my dad has to control the brakes while i can steer and accellerate- very surreal experience I can tell you especially seeing as we hack out rather than school him like this anyway.... I have had the pony in question since he was a baby- he was born in my field. so it's not really a case of settling down, but he is particularly green as he was only broken in a couple of months ago!